Title: rust & stardust
Rating: M
Genre: AU/AH
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Alaric, Stefan/Elena, Matt/Caroline, Jeremy/Anna, Alaric/Jenna (One-sided), mentions of Alaric/Isobel, Bonnie/Ben, ect.
Trope/Prompt: Age Difference
Summary: When Alaric Saltzman meets Bonnie Bennett he is intensely attracted to her but rejects his feelings when he discovers that not only is she seventeen but that she's his student. Though, they both try their best not to become overly attached, Alaric soon finds that his relationship with Bonnie becomes serious. However, his personal reservations and outside influences threaten to doom the affair.
Warnings: Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, Secret Relationships, Student/Teacher Relationships, ect.
Author's Note: Alright so this fic was a tumblr request and I actually got more invested in this pairing than I thought I would. No editing here! My brother's girlfriend is giving birth so I am heading to see them after posting this! Please excuse the mistakes! I will go back and look it over eventually! Happy reading!
part one || battles
"She was dazzling- alight; it was agony to comprehend her beauty in a glance."
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful And Damned
After the party had gotten raided out by Sheriff Forbes and the body had been found, Bonnie Bennett knew that the best idea for her would to be to go home. However, she'd been worried about Caroline after their fight and she'd waited to explain things. She'd wanted to reveal herself to Caroline the same way she'd done with Elena, to make her understand. She'd known that she was a witch for only moment it seemed and it was already alienating her from the people around her.
Bonnie had gone back to the home she'd shared with her father to wait until Mystic Grill had cleared out and everyone left the scene. Like she'd suspected he wasn't home. She'd changed out of the blue dress she had worn to the party honoring Stefan's birthday that had turned into a nightmare in more ways than one. She put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a pink tribal print tank top before leaving the house again.
Bonnie decided to go back to Mystic Grill first. While she knew the party was a thing of the past, she figured there was a chance that Caroline had attempted to hide out to avoid the wrath of her mother.
Bonnie had been wrong and ended up walking in on the bar and restaurant to find it almost deserted aside from a few stranglers. She tried to call Caroline a few times but received no answer. Sighing Bonnie sat down at the bar, not wanting to go home but not knowing where else that she could go.
With Caroline upset at her over her keeping her own talisman that Damon Salvatore kept trying to steal for whatever reason and Elena likely somewhere with Stefan, Bonnie was once again reminded about how few people she had to talk to. Her Grams was an option but she'd already gotten a warning from her to keep the crystal that morning and she already knew what the woman would say. "You girls argue all the time, it'll blow over." It would in all likelihood but that didn't make Bonnie feel any better and wasn't really what she wanted to hear in the moment.
"What's with the service in this town?" A deep voice said from beside her.
Bonnie glanced over at the man sitting near her at the other end of the bar that she hadn't noticed before but she definitely noticed in that moment. He was handsome, in that way that reminded Bonnie of the old movies that she and her Grams watched on Sunday nights, but the stubble on his chin made him look too rugged to be considered classically so. He was tall with an athletic build and sandy brown hair. As he looked at Bonnie, his deep blue eyes seemed to see right through her. He was quite clearly older than her but to Bonnie it made him all the more appealing.
Majority of the times guys her age were immature, self-absorbed, cocky and simple minded. She'd never had a real conversation with any except for Matt but even Matt succumbed to the trappings of ridiculous behaviors when he was around Tyler. While it was sometimes amusing to witness it wasn't something Bonnie looked for in a partner. Even still, if she were looking not only did their school have slim pickings but most of the guys around her had always been more interested in girls like Elena and Caroline.
This man though, this stranger that Bonnie had never seen before, seemed more than interested as he eyed her appreciatively and Bonnie was flattered. Not only that, she might have found a distraction, maybe even someone to talk to.
"Well the bartender was just arrested tonight for serving underage patrons so you probably won't be getting any service any time soon." Bonnie replied when the man kept staring.
"Was that before or after they found the body that couple over there are talking about out back?" the man asked.
Bonnie shrugged. "After I think? There's been a lot of that going on around here. Never a boring day in this town."
"Guess I moved to the right place or the wrong one," he grinned, "Matter of preference I suppose."
"I for one would kill for boring some days," Bonnie admitted, "Or at least just normal."
The man considered her for a moment and then, "A wise woman once said; 'If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be'."
Bonnie laughed. "Maya Angelou, right," Bonnie nodded, "That's true I guess but I don't think that she was thinking in terms of animal attacks, human remains and underage drinking when she said that, and that was just tonight. She's was a Madame at one point and I still don't think she could stomach living in this town."
When the man laughed again Bonnie felt almost accomplished at the sound. "I'm Alaric Saltzman. I know it's a mouthful. Saltzman is of German origins my family immigrated here to Texas but I was born and raised in Boston. You can call me Ric if it's easier and yes I usually follow my name with a brief history of its origins firstly because it's what I teach, History, and secondly because people usually ask."
"Bonnie Bennett," Bonnie said taking his hand as he held it out to her and shaking it, "Not a mouthful but you can call me Bon if I like you, but only if I like you. My family came to Mystic Falls by way of Salem and before that I'm not really sure for obvious historical reasons I'm sure you're obviously aware of and if you've come to teach History at Mystic Falls High School, then you should know that that position is cursed. The last History teacher died."
Bonnie wasn't sure why she let that bit of information slip out, not only was it morbid but it made her remember predicting Tanner's death and it was really the last thing that she wanted to talk or think about.
So this man would be her new History teacher. She was disappointed by this and glad at the same time. She would get to see him every day and he didn't seem like as big of asshole as Tanner was. However, that would mean that she would likely need to end the conversation where it was. Still they were just talking, where was the harm in that?
"Animal attack?" Alaric asked but seemed to be saying something Bonnie wasn't picking up on, some strange sarcasm in his tone that might've been the way that he talked or might've been something else.
Bonnie nodded.
"Duly noted," Alaric said. His eyes roved over again and Bonnie squirmed under his gaze. "I like…your necklace."
Bonnie's hand subconsciously moved to the amber stone around her neck. She touched it with some reverence and sadness all at once. "Thanks," she murmured, "Family heirloom."
Alaric held up his hand to show her silver ring affixed with a black stone. "So is this," he said, "Just not my family. My wife she gave it to me before she disappeared. She was presumed dead. Her body was never found and so this is all I have left of her."
Bonnie frowned. The way that he said disappeared made her think of her mother. She wondered if the woman was still alive, if she missed Bonnie if she was. "I'm sorry about your wife," Bonnie said sincerely. She reached out and touched his hand and ran her fingers over his ring. She was surprised as she touched it to feel some sort of power radiating from it, she was more intrigued by the man than ever. "Things like this," she whispered, "They carry memories but they're also like a weight you know, like carrying a ghost around with you and-"
Bonnie held her breath as he reached out touched her necklace and where the stone fell between her breasts. "Letting it haunt you on purpose."
Bonnie thought about Emily. About the talisman finding her and what it all might mean. Her ancestor's fate had been to burn and Bonnie wondered if hers would be the same. Alaric was haunted by a different kind of ghost but she felt, as she took in his expression and the feelings she got from touching his ring, it had just a big of hold on him as Bonnie's family history had on her. "But you can't let it go because even if it's scary and painful that history is a part of who you are," Bonnie said, tracing the stone of the ring with her index finger, "Without it you're just floundering without anything to hold onto at all, right?"
"No one's ever really described it like that before but…um….yeah…that sums it up kind of perfectly," Alaric said.
Bonnie wasn't sure why she was about to tell him what she was about to tell him. Perhaps she was really in need of someone to talk to or perhaps she thought that he would understand. She didn't talk about her mother to anyone, not even her friends. Still, she felt the need to tell the truth about why the necklace was really important and it had a little to do with her ancestors, her history but it had something to do with her mother as well.
"When I was younger my mom left me and my father," she revealed, "I know its not the same thing but the grief was still there in a way. She…um…I don't remember her really. But I remember this absence. This emptiness. The feeling of just this void that she left behind you know…I hated her for it but I still loved her. I never knew her but my Grams said she was broken. That she was selfish. That she didn't know how to be a mother. My Grams is her mother and she helped raise me. This necklace is a piece of my mom, a piece of her history. It reminds me that even though she left…she took away herself, all of her broken pieces. She left me with all of the good she had in life. She left me with my Grams. She left me with her childhood home. She left me in this town where I met my best friends. She left me with my dad and he's not around a lot but he's…something good that she had that she left for me. She left me with her history and all the greatness of her line. This necklace reminds me that even if she's gone I still share something of her that a part of me is her and maybe she knew that without her here it would be better for me."
Bonnie knew how she must have sound. Like a child. Like a child with abandonment issues. She was that. However, she had to think of her mother this way, it hurt too much otherwise. Her mother was a witch and she was a witch, just like her Grams. It was the one thing she knew outside of her abandonment and it was something they had in common, a connection after all of those years of disconnection. Maybe she would feel differently if she actually knew or met the woman, but in that moment knowing that she was connected to her mother in some way and believing that the woman had left her for her own best interest were all she had.
Alaric's fingers brushed against her skin as he dropped the amber stone around her neck, regaining her attention. She waited for him to call her silly or to make some excuse to leave but he was looking at her with a look of awe and understanding instead.
"Before she passed my wife, she used to say that she was crazy and selfish and obsessive and bad wife but I loved her anyway," he murmured, "She was all of those things but that's not what I remember when I look at this ring. I remember it was a gift that I wasn't expecting. I remember that she believed that it would protect me. I remember that even in all of her flaws she…gave it out of love."
Bonnie squeezed his hand. "See," she smiled, "She left you with the good and it might not seem that way now but maybe with time you'll see it all differently."
Alaric cleared his throat and wiped at the corner of his right eye. "I'm sorry," he said, "I usually don't get into all of this….well with anyone. But you're easy to talk to Bonnie Bennett." He looked around the mostly empty restaurant. "I know we're likely not going to get any service but did you maybe want to move this conversation to a booth. It's a bit more private and I really want to learn more about-"
"My weird ugly necklace?" Bonnie cut him off to ask nervously.
Alaric laughed again and Bonnie was happy that the somewhat heavy tension was broken. "No," he shook his head, "I want to know more about you."
Bonnie smiled, her first genuine one since the party. "I want to know more about you too." Bonnie knew that she was heading into dangerous territory but she found as he smiled back at her, she couldn't help herself.
:::
They eventually got service after settling into a corner booth. Alaric had come to Mystic Grill in search of a drink after spending all day unpacking but when the waiter had come up to them to ask what they wanted to order, he'd opted for coffee, suddenly wanting to be not just sober but more awake. He wanted to be aware and present, in the moment as he listened to Bonnie talk.
She was, something of an indescribable beauty. Unattainable in the same way that Isobel had been, but even more lovely if he were being honest. Dark hair, hazel green eyes, rich brown skin and a smile so bright Ric's eyes hurt when he looked at it, like staring at the sun. She was so beautiful he ached with it and she was so very unaware of her beauty at the same time which made her all the more captivating.
She wasn't like Isobel in the way that Isobel had been used to the attention, grounded in it. It had been easy for her too selfish because of that, placating almost, in her love for him when it was present. It had been easy for her to take in all of his doting and be dismissive of it at the same time. To encourage it but not quite return it the way he had tenfold.
Bonnie on the other had didn't seem used to the attention at all. She flourished in it, but in that same way that Alaric used to once he got out of high school and was no longer just the kid with glasses and a skin condition. She was appreciative of it, surprised by it, and pleased in a quiet way that made him want to keep lavishing it upon her.
He didn't understand it. How she could not get this kind of attention all the time. She was young, vibrant and alight. But though she was young, college age he assumed, every time she spoke he felt as if on the inside her soul held something ancient. She was all poise and calm but there was an edge there, a fire under the surface that Alaric wanted to unearth and let consume him.
He had already told her so many truths about himself that he kept hidden. He'd felt comfortable doing so. Being with her felt natural even if he didn't quite understand why someone like her would entertain interest from someone like him.
This was insane he knew. He hadn't looked at a woman in this way, not since Isobel. Even before Isobel he had been prone to obsession, prior to picking up on his wife's when she left him. Her labeling him as intense after their first date could attest to that. He could quite easily get fixated on things and he'd gotten fixated on Isobel from the moment they met, in her absence he grew fixated on finishing what she had started. He was aware of the signs.
He could feel them now as he listened to Bonnie speak. About her fragmented family. About her friends in passing, veiled terms. He reached out and brushed her hair over her shoulder, ran his hand down between her shoulder blades, feeling the warm skin her top left exposed as he scooted closer to her in the booth. He couldn't believe she was allowing him to touch her, to be that close. He could only think as his hand settled on her small of her back and pulse quickened as she leaned into him and touched his knee; that it was starting.
"You went to Duke. That's an amazing school and you could have probably taught anywhere after that. Yet you decided to teach high school History instead of teaching at the college level?" Bonnie asked, "Why would you do that?"
"The same reason I came to Mystic Falls," Alaric said, "I needed a change of pace. A change of scenery. This town has always seemed interesting to me. It has a lot of lore and a very rich history."
Bonnie sipped her coffee and smiled. "Don't I know it," she said and there was more meaning to it that he picked up on. He wanted to know what it was. She was so mysterious and so open at the same time. "I mean, I've just lived here all my life and this town pretty much prides itself on that history, even the more questionable and bleak of it," she said, trying to cover what she had tried not reveal, "I still don't get why you'd want to teach high school. I would definitely go the college route. Especially if your high school days were as bad as you claim. Why go back?"
"I actually got offered a position at Whitmore but I turned it down," he revealed.
He watched as her lips curved downward in a frown and had the urge to kiss it off her face. "What? That's a huge opportunity."
"But not what I wanted," Alaric shrugged, "I just…I want to feel like I'm making a difference in the lives of my students. I never felt that with the college crowd."
"I understand that I guess but you should still definitely give Whitmore a few visits. That campus is so beautiful. I've always loved it and the faculty there is really impressive and I'm not just saying that because I kind of have a personal bias."
"Obviously you spend a lot of time there," he smiled. He figured that must have been where she attended.
"Since I was a little girl actually," Bonnie nodded, "My Grams teaches there, which is where my bias comes from. I used to go to all her lectures when she couldn't find a babysitter and my dad had to work. Learned a lot of lore, not just from this town that way. It's what made me think that maybe I could teach one day if I found a subject I was passionate enough about. She has this way about her when she talks…it just draws people in. I want that kind of power but I'm the kind of girl that just fades into the background."
"I don't believe that for second," Alaric said seriously, "You're breathtaking and smart and insightful. I just met you and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather pay attention to." Alaric's mouth snapped shut. Those were the kind of comments that had scared Isobel away in the beginning. The kind of starry eyed romantic thoughts that got him laughed at and bullied in school. The kind of words he had used before he'd become jaded and closed off. The kind of thinking he had vowed to leave behind.
He expected her to shy away from him. To get up and make excuses to leave but instead she smiled and touched the side of his face. "Thank you," she whispered, and he fought the urge to close his eyes as she traced her fingertips along his jawline.
There had been small touches and soft glances since they moved to the booth and he still couldn't fathom that she could possibly return his interest. He didn't want to move too fast and not just because of the ghosts that seemed to haunt them both.
"Your grandmother," Alaric said, trying to move the conversation to safer territory. "What does she teach?"
Bonnie frowned. "Don't laugh alright," she warned, "A lot of people do and I honestly get sick of hearing about it. I used to tease her a lot but it was mostly because I knew it was coming anyway so I would just try to beat people to the punch before they got it out themselves and hope they'd drop it."
"It can't be that bad." Alaric smiled and then, "I promise not to laugh."
Bonnie stared at him a long time and then nodded finally. "She teaches Occult Studies," she revealed.
Ric smiled and wanted to laugh but not out of any kind of amusement at her grandmother's expense. Bonnie had ties to the occult even indirectly and he knew then that it wasn't an accident that they had met. Not with his having picked up on where Isobel's research had left off. "Really," he said, "My wife was a Parapsychologist. I'd love to meet your grandmother sometime and pick her brain. Maybe some of their findings overlapped."
Bonnie blinked at him. "That's not the response I usually get and definitely not the one I was expecting. But I'm glad it was the one I got. Maybe you could sit in on one of her lectures. I'll have to ask her sometime."
"I'd like that," he said and then, "I'm sorry I keep bringing up my wife. I…I know it isn't exactly light conversation, more like a conversation stopper. A lot of women just get uncomfortable when I talk to them and the subject comes up."
"Grief isn't something that disappears overnight, Ric," Bonnie shrugged, "She was your wife. You loved her. Mourning and letting go takes time. You said you didn't know what happened to her and that makes it even harder. I'd be more surprised if she didn't come up. I feel like maybe you loved her in that classic tragic way that little girls dream to be loved when they're kids. If she didn't love you back the same way then maybe she was as crazy she thought."
"You just keep saying exactly what I need and want hear," Alaric smiled, shaking his head, "How do you do that?" Bonnie swallowed, shrugged and looked down and he decided to try to tease her to lighten his words a bit. "Wait, I'm a history man and I think I'm piecing this together. You said your family is from Salem and your grandmother teaches Occult studies….don't tell me you're a witch?"
Bonnie's eyes widened and Ric watched as something akin to shock and fear appeared on her face before she shook her head and opened her mouth to deny it and he knew then, that he might have solved some piece of her mystery. That Isobel's research had actually been on to something and Bonnie had proven what he had been chasing for years, what Isobel had been chasing for years, just by existing and in that moment Ric fell hard and fast.
"I'm kidding," he laughed to put her at ease but took note of her reaction for later.
Bonnie sighed and her body relaxed. "I knew that," she said, laughing a bit uncomfortably, "But you can't blame me for trying to deny it, I mean you know what happens to witches in history. It never ends well for them."
Ric frowned. Noted that she still looked uneasy. "I mean," he said, "People like to focus on the burnings and the Salem witch trials and all of that because it's easy to sensationalize and it's a terrifying part of history, but it's not the only part of witch history there is. I'm sure your grandmother has already told you this but most people who believe in witches believe that they are the basis for every religion that there is. Especially pagan religions. People since the beginning of time have tried to explain the miraculous and the remarkable. That's why they created gods to worship and many people believe that the basis for the powers that gods were said to have had were people witnessing witches perform magic and not having any other explanation besides them being these divine immortal creatures."
Bonnie looked surprised at his words as he reached out with his free hand and took one of hers. "It's what my Grams believes," she whispered, "That we're descended from witches."
"Not just witches. Gods and goddesses. They probably had tombs and shrines and altars built in their name."
"I don't know about all that," Bonnie laughed, "But according to her that's our heritage and it scares the hell out of me."
"What do you believe in?" Alaric asked.
"I believe in my Grams, the same way that she believes in me," Bonnie said seriously. Alaric wondered if it was her way of telling him the truth without out and out saying it. "What do you believe in, Alaric?"
He shrugged. "I don't know," he said, "I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure that out but after meeting you I feel like I'm closer to finding whatever that is."
"Do you talk like this to every girl you meet?" Bonnie asked, shaking her head again in disbelief.
"No," Alaric admitted, "Just you." Alaric saw the moment as an opening and leaned in. Bonnie leaned in as well, pressed her body against his.
There was so much anticipation right before their lips met and then Bonnie looked around and pulled away before they did. "I have to go," she said quickly and stood.
"What?" Alaric asked, not bothering to hide his shock as Bonnie picked up her purse and climbed out of the booth. "What do you mean?"
"I can't stay here," she quickly, "this was a mistake."
Alaric climbed out after her and followed her outside. When they walked out into the night, the town was quiet and calm. The streetlights were on and Alaric was reminded of the ghost towns he'd seen pictures of in the history books he taught from. He caught Bonnie by the arm before she could walk away.
"If I came on too strong I'm sorry I just I feel like this is right," he said. "I haven't felt anything right in a long time and I just really want to hold on to this feeling."
Bonnie froze and allowed herself to be pulled back. As she turned around to face him Alaric bent down again. This time Bonnie didn't pull away when he moved to kiss her. Their lips touched softly at first and then he kissed her more insistent, pulling her body further into his.
Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck and he moved her backwards towards the building and pressed her into the wall. She opened her mouth to him, sliding her tongue against his as he gripped her thighs, hoisting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist.
She tasted like vanilla and coffee and peppermint. Smelled like lavender and orchids. Like lilies and honeysuckle. Like he had always imagined the nymphs of myth to smell like. The deities of old, young, nimble and nude, dancing and singing naked through forests and by rivers and streams. The personification of nature at the height of its beauty, hair swinging down their backs and woven with flowers.
He had come to this town, chasing the truth and looking for evil. He had come to fight darkness and prove the unreal to be real. He had found instead a girl that was wildly beautiful and understanding. A girl that was a different kind of mystery for him to solve.
Alaric could kiss her for hours. He could feel her hands running through his hair and scratching gently at the hairs on the nape of his neck for an eternity. He could taste her whimpers into his mouth until there was nothing left that would nourish him. He wanted to take her home with him and take her a part. Build her a shrine like her ancestors demanded and throw himself upon her altar.
Then she was pushing him away again. She was apologizing and Alaric still immersed in the heady fog of it all didn't know what for. He tried to focus as she pushed harder and unwrapped her legs from around him. He was reminded of the games that Isobel liked to play, that he'd been too young and in love to realize were games when he had been in the moment. He hoped that wasn't what this was.
"We can't do this," Bonnie was saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't think this would go this far. I just wanted someone to talk to and you were so…I didn't mean for this to happen."
"If you want to slow down we can slow down. The last thing I want to do is scare you Bonnie," he frowned, "What is it? Do you have boyfriend or something?"
Bonnie shook her head. She backed away from him and he watched as she began to bite her lip and look at the ground. "I'm seventeen." She murmured.
Alaric felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of cold water. He shook his head. He couldn't comprehend what she was telling him. "You said that you spent a lot of time at Whitmore." He said and it sounded ridiculous even to his own ears.
"I do," she said, "My Grams really does teach there. I knew about the last History teacher because I was there the day he died and I-"
"Go to Mystic Falls High School," Alaric said on a huff. He'd been debating whether to kiss her when he thought that she was in college. Now to find out she was in high school. She was in his class no less. He would be her teacher. "I could have sworn you said-" But no, he had assumed. He had assumed because he had wanted her.
Alaric for one surreal moment heard the sound of his mother in his head say, "When you assume you make an ass out of you," and that was the biggest understatement of the century.
"I'm sorry," Bonnie said, "I knew what you thought but I didn't say anything and that's on me."
"I never would have touched you if I had known," Alaric frowned, "I didn't mean to take advantage-"
She cut him off. "You didn't," she said, seriously, "I wanted to kiss you. I still want to kiss you. You're kind and you're smart and you're funny. You take me seriously and you didn't make fun of my Grams or this witch stuff. You think I'm beautiful. Of course I want to kiss you. I just didn't want to do it under false pretenses. I like you a lot and so I'm telling you the truth."
He still wanted to kiss her too. He was still wildly attracted to her. Her age be damned. She was smart and intuitive and she made him smile after not smiling in so long and she was right he thought she was beautiful. But she was young, so young and he'd just gotten to this town. He'd come to hunt down the truth and he wanted a fresh start. There was no way he could do either if he spent his first night in town seducing a seventeen year old, even if she seemed after one conversation more grounded and self-aware than most adults he knew.
"You're amazing Bonnie," Alaric said finally, "You're funny and perceptive and caring and so many other things that I probably shouldn't keep naming considering. I've known you one night and I know that any man would lucky to have you. Under any other circumstances I might even freely admit to being wildly enamored myself but I…can't…not if you're really my student. You're young and you're interesting and you're beautiful and you're going to meet guys all your life that are going to want to line up around the corner just for a chance with someone like you. I'm not anything special, this and me are going to be easy to forget."
He wasn't rejecting her, not really. It sounded like it. It was more like setting up boundaries however, for himself and for her. Boundaries that they couldn't cross.
"I won't be able to and not just because I'll be seeing you every day at school," Bonnie laughed but there was no humor in and then she said, "I know what you're trying to say or do so I get it. I wouldn't want to put you at risk. You just got here and you don't need your job or your integrity at stake. I took it too far but I just…I couldn't help it. Still I know it can't happen again. But just so you know any woman would be lucky to have you too. While I doubt that guys will ever be lined up to be with me, even if they were none of them would ever make me feel like I feel when you look at me. I really like the way you look at me…that's too bad I guess."
One kiss and she had him wrapped around her finger. If only things were different, he thought. But he was too old for wishful thinking and she was too young to be held back by his attempts at it. "Yeah, it is," he said, smiling sadly.
"Goodnight Mr. Saltzman," Bonnie said and he hated the formality of it, the finality of it.
Bonnie stood on her toes and kissed his cheek and headed to her car. Alaric turned to watch her, "Goodnight Bonnie."
He stood there long after she drove off. Long enough to see her hesitate and look back.
:::
As if things couldn't get any worse after meeting a man that thought she was smart, interesting, insightful beautiful and made her feel good about being a witch and in that same moment knowing they could never be together, Bonnie had a nightmare about the ghost of Emily Bennett and woke up at the ruins of Old Fell's Church.
Bonnie had walked home through the woods barefoot and terrified. She'd showered quickly and got dressed. All the while she debated about getting rid of the necklace. She talked to Ric about ghosts the night before, only to find out she was being haunted, the irony of that didn't escape her.
Worse still, her first class was History. She would have to face Alaric again. She would have to see him and remember that she'd made a fool of herself. She'd have to remember that she'd gotten lost in their conversation and his eyes and tricked herself into believing that he was just some sexy older guy who was interested in her, instead of the man who was going to be her teacher. That she'd put them both at risk before he'd even started his new job. That there was no way that they could share anything other than that one passionate kiss, no matter how much she wanted to go beyond that even knowing what was at stake.
Bonnie continued to walk down the hall not paying attention. She wasn't really that surprised when she ran into someone, she was more surprised about who she had run into. When she looked up and saw Alaric looking down at her, she wanted to talk to him. She wanted to hug, to kiss. She wanted him to look at her the way he had before he'd known the truth about her age. She wanted him to tell her everything would be alright. She wanted him to make her forget all that was going wrong. She wanted a lot of things that she knew she couldn't have.
"Bonnie," he said, "hey, headed off to class?"
Bonnie nodded and watched as he looked around them at the students milling past as if even talking to her would make him look suspicious. Everything she'd done had been a mistake. She'd just felt something that she was sure he felt and now it seemed like it had all been something she'd made up in her head. Her head wasn't her own anymore anyway, it was Emily's playground at the moment. Bonnie sighed. "Your class actually," she said.
"Right," Alaric nodded, then he looked down at her and nodded as if making some profound decision before saying, "I'll walk with you."
Bonnie thought that he would try to avoid her and so she smiled at the offer. "Alright."
He looked as handsome as ever in a navy blue button down and jeans. Everyone would love him, she knew. He would be a hit. He was miles ahead of Tanner both attitude and personality wise. He was warm and mysterious. He was nice on the eyes. He would be find there and she wanted to tell him as much, to encourage him. However, her mouth was dry and her head ached and her nerves were high.
"You look tired," he commented as they walked.
"I didn't sleep well," Bonnie said, and then cleared her throat, "It wasn't anything about what happened…between us. It's just, I've been having nightmares lately."
He frowned and looked down at her with concern and that made her want him even more. His concern for her, his care of her and they had only just met. "I know that our first encounter was…," he stopped and Bonnie was wondering if he was going to say that he regretted it, "It wasn't appropriate for our prescribed relationship and no matter what either of us feel about its not something that can happen again but…I can still be there for you as your teacher and as your friend. If you ever need to talk about anything I'm here, Bonnie."
She wished that he wasn't so good to her. That he would blow her off and pretend like nothing had ever happened between them, it would make things a lot easier. "I want to take you up on that," Bonnie said, "More than you know. But considering what happened and where we stand now, I don't think it would be a good idea. If keep turning to you and talking to you and being around you it's only going to make things harder because I won't be able to be around you and not want something I can't have. Not only that but I'll be putting you at risk and I won't do that, I wouldn't do that to anyone I cared about but especially not to you. So thank you, Mr. Saltzman but I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with all of this on my own."
They stared at each other for a long moment as students milled around them. Alaric looked dejected as she referred to him as "Mr. Saltzman" and he opened and closed his mouth several times but said nothing. Finally he nodded and gave her a self-deprecating smile. "If you change your mind my offer will always stand and if you happen to fall asleep in class I'll let it go just this once, Miss Bennett."
Bonnie didn't like the sound of "Miss Bennett" any more than he had liked the sound of "Mr. Saltzman" but she nodded just the same.
"You shouldn't be nervous or anything," Bonnie said, "Not that you are. I just…everyone is going to love you. I don't have to be psychic or a witch to know that. I just know."
Alaric smile went from stiff to warm and Bonnie melted. "Thank you, Bonnie," he whispered.
When they reached the classroom Bonnie walked in first, rushing to her seat and not making eye contact with anyone. Alaric entered behind her and set his belongings down on the desk before he began to write his name on the board.
Bonnie looked on dejectedly as Alaric began to introduce himself and his spiel about his name sounded so much like the one he had given her the night before Bonnie was reminded all over again of what had happened between them and she looked down and away.
When she glanced at Elena and her friend mouthed, "Are you okay?" Bonnie shrugged her shoulders, seeing no real reason to lie.
:::
Alaric gave Jeremy Gilbert a second chance because he believed them. It was not out of some twisted sort of atonement for wanting to take one of his other students to bed. At least that's what he'd told himself as he finished eating his paper bag lunch alone in his classroom.
It'd been easy to lie to Jeremy about his ring just as it been easy to tell Bonnie the truth about it. It made him think about her even more than he already was as he at a dry tuna sandwich and stale chips.
He was resisting the urge to go out to the benches outside and check on Bonnie. She was eating lunch with Elena Gilbert and likely revealing to her friend, what here nightmares were about, the ones that kept her up at night. Alaric wanted to be her sounding board and he hated himself for it.
The more he found out about Bonnie the more he wanted her. She was indeed like those girls who hadn't looked his way in high school, popular, bubbly and cheerleader. Still she wasn't shallow or unkind. She spoke to everyone, said hello to everyone. He watched her throughout the day.
He'd looked on in concern when he saw her and Elena hugging and talking in hushed tones before heading out to lunch.
He'd watched as she hissed at a jock to watch where he was going when he bumped into another student knocking her books down. He'd watched as the guy turned to challenge Bonnie only to back down after being on the receiving end of one look before Bonnie had helped the girl pick up her books with a smile.
He'd watched as Bonnie walked from one class to the next and boys eyed her. He watched as Bonnie was oblivious to the appreciative stares and concerned looks she got throughout the day. As he suspected more people noticed her than she thought and he tried to not paint whatever was picture that was forming in his head was as jealously but the evidence was pretty damning in spite of that.
He got through his classes and Bonnie had been right. The student's responded well to him. He wanted to thank her for the encouragement and check in on her before she left school but he didn't make it in time.
He went to Mystic Grill thinking that she might be there because he heard other students say it was a common hang out after school. He ate alone reading a collection of poems by Maya Angelou trying not to think about how he had made an ass of himself quoting the woman to Bonnie the night before. His eyes strayed to the booth they'd been in more than once. Bonnie never showed up.
When Alaric saw Jeremy eating with someone across the room, he walked over to introduce himself out of politeness more than interest. The woman he'd been sitting with was pretty and eyed Alaric in a way that was obvious and he encouraged it. He encouraged it because she was age appropriate and she wasn't his student. He encouraged it because he wanted to prove to himself that whatever had been going on with Bonnie could pass as easily as it came.
It didn't work. Jenna was funny and honest and a good drinking buddy. However, she wasn't Bonnie and that was something no amount of soft smiles and veiled glances could make him for get.
:::
The séance was a bad idea. Bonnie had known that the moment that Caroline suggested it but she went through with in spite of her fears and misgivings because she'd hoped it would put an end to things.
When she'd told Caroline the truth, as predicted she hadn't really listened but she had been willing to believe if Bonnie believed and that was enough.
Bonnie kept the secret of Alaric to herself. It was something that she wouldn't tell even if she wanted to. Not with the trouble he could get it in were it to get out, even if it was only one kiss.
She thought of the kiss on and off all day and it didn't go away even as she summoned the ghost of her dead ancestor all the while thinking of places that she would rather be. Somewhere kissing Alaric had been at the top of her list.
Being possessed was more terrifying than the nightmares. It was like being within and without her body at the same time. It was the utter lack of control and complete confusing that made her scream from the inside as Emily took over, but no one could hear her.
Bonnie was ripped from her own body and to watch from the inside as Emily destroyed the crystal and talked about things that Bonnie didn't understand.
When Emily released her and left her unprotected Damon had attacked and Bonnie couldn't feel the relief at being back in control because all that she could feel was the pain before Damon was ripped away from her.
When Bonnie fell to the ground, the blood leaving her body she knew she didn't wanted to die. She was scared and she felt alone and surrounded by monsters. There was no comfort to be had, even when Stefan fed her his blood, something else she didn't understand and the wound began to heal.
She and Elena drove back to Elena's house in silence. It's the clogged and heavy kind that Bonnie hated. The kind of silence that came after a fight. Like the silence that always settled when her father asked her not to go and see her Grams.
The silence didn't break until they got inside of Elena's house and into Elena's room and then Elena told her everything. She told Bonnie about vampires. She told Bonnie about Stefan and Damon. She told Bonnie what had really happened to Vicki Donovan and to Tanner and to Stefan's uncle and his best friend. She told Bonnie about Katherine and all of their ties to Emily. She told Bonnie about her and Stefan taking a break and about how he was planning on leaving town.
Elena went on and on about how she had carried this secret alone with no one to talk to or turn to.
Elena started to cry and it was all too much. She could tell that her best friend expected to be comforted but Bonnie couldn't do it. She didn't feel like she should have to. Not when Elena had been keeping secrets for months. Not when Elena had all this time to process this and Bonnie had been possessed and almost died that very night.
It wasn't as if they were leaning on each other because Bonnie hadn't been able to talk about how she felt. About what it had been like to lose control of her body and about almost dying at the hands of the man Elena's boyfriend called brother. She was expected to listen and then she was expected to tell Elena that everything would be alright when that was what she needed to hear.
Bonnie wanted to talk to someone that would listen and expect nothing in returned. She wanted to be held without having to give of herself in that moment. She wanted to be able to cry and feel and range and fear and not be expected to hold herself and someone else up as she did. She didn't know where to find that but she knew it wouldn't be in her present company and so she stood when Elena reached out to her and took a step back.
"I can't stay here tonight," she said, "I'm sorry but this is too much and I need to go."
:::
Alaric wasn't really sure how the contest regarding who's more pathetic started. It was a joke but not really a joke and it was just on the verge of being sad as he walked Jenna up to her door.
He told her he has pathetic down to a science and he almost tact on that he was so pathetic that he'd fallen for one of his own students and was willing to put his life and job on the line to finish whatever it was that they started but he laughed awkwardly as Jenna mentioned her shortcomings in high school instead. His revealing of his skin condition and glasses made Jenna look all the more besotted and he almost wished that he had met her before his attention had been drawn elsewhere. However, he would've met Bonnie eventually and so he doubted that would've helped much.
Jenna looked to be debating on whether she wanted to invite him in and suddenly as if the universe were answering the question for her Bonnie came rushing down the stairs, her bag in hand and tears streaming down her face. Elena followed after her and Jenna turned to them both in concern.
Bonnie stopped at the bottom stair her eyes looking from Alaric and Jenna and then back again. She looked even more distraught than she already was and Alaric moved to walk around Jenna and into the house.
"Bonnie let's talk about this," Elena was saying, "We'll go back upstairs and talk about this. We just need to calm down."
It was clear that Elena had been crying as well and when Bonnie shook her head violently Alaric knew it was something beyond the normal teen angst.
"Oh sweetheart are you okay?" Jenna asked, "Did you two get into another fight? Elena's right it'll be fine. It'll blow over, it always does."
Making a snap decision, Alaric walked around Jenna and directly up to Bonnie. He knelt down in front of her and spoke softly as if to a startled animal. "Bonnie," he said, "Look at me. What's going on?"
Bonnie shook her head again, her eyes pointedly landed on Jenna. "Nothing," she said, "I don't want to interrupt. I was just leaving."
Alaric took note of the dried blood on Bonnie's neck that she attempted the hide with her hair and scowled. "Bonnie," he tried again, "Bon, look at me." Bonnie finally met his gaze as he took her hands in his. "There's nothing to interrupt. Do you understand?"
Bonnie seemed to catch the meaning of his words and gave another stiff nod, looking mildly less distraught but not by much.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Alaric asked.
Bonnie shook her head again. "I just want to get out of here please," she said looking at him and only him.
Ric nodded once. "I can give her a ride home," Elena said, "She road over with me."
Alaric shook his head. "Its fine," he said, "I'm leaving anyway and she's clearly upset. I'll make sure that she gets home safely."
"That's so sweet of you." Jenna was looking at him like he hung the moon and Alaric knew that look would change if she knew his real plans. "You've been here a day and already you're more invested in these kids than Tanner ever was," she smiled.
Alaric winced and forced a smile in return. "Yeah," he said, "Like I said. I want to make a good impression." He stood to his feet and took Bonnie's hand. "We'd better get going. Wouldn't want her grandmother to worry."
Elena called out that she would text Bonnie and Alaric wasn't all that surprised when she didn't respond. "Have a good night," he called behind him as he led Bonnie outside and to his car.
Alaric opened the passenger's side and helped Bonnie into the car, tossing her bag into the back seat. Alaric got into the driver's side and started the car. Bonnie's eyes stayed glued to the window as they drove away, watching as the scenery passed outside.
Alaric reached out and took her hand and she didn't pull away as he threaded their fingers together. "Will your grandmother miss you if I don't take you home?" Alaric asked.
"No," Bonnie answered squeezing his hand, "I was supposed to be staying the night with Elena. She's not expecting me."
Alaric nodded. "The blood on your neck. Are you hurt?"
"I was," Bonnie murmured, "I'm not anymore I guess. I just didn't get a chance to clean up. It was just…so much going on."
Alaric had the urge to kill. He wanted answers but he expected he already knew what it was that had attacked Bonnie. "I want to know what happened," he said, "But not right now. I'm going to take care of you first and when you are ready to talk we'll talk. Not before."
Bonnie squeezed his hand pulled their joined hands into her lap and kept them there the entire ride to Alaric's apartment.
He was blurring the lines and pushing the boundaries but in that moment he could care less. He parked the car when they arrived and he walked Bonnie upstairs, still holding her hand. He unlocked the door and was glad that he hadn't met any of his neighbors yet and there would be no one snooping around or asking questions.
Once inside Bonnie let go of his hand and looked around. She walked across the hardwood floors, looked around the kitchen, ran her hands along the spines of the books on the bookshelf, walked in between the boxes piled up around them, and then walked over to sit on his couch.
Alaric walked into his bedroom and pulled out a t-shirt from his top drawer and then walked into the bathroom to get a washcloth that he dampened with warm water. "You sure I don't need the first aid kit?" he called.
"No," Bonnie called back, "I'm fine. I promise."
Satisfied Alaric went back through the apartment and joined Bonnie on the sofa. He noted the blood stains on her shirt. "You wearing something under that?" he asked, at Bonnie's nod he said, "Take it off."
Bonnie grinned and though her cheeks were still stained with tears Alaric was glad to see it. "Yes, Mr. Saltzman."
Alaric laughed rolling his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Maybe not but I like teasing you," Bonnie smiled. Alaric watched as she pulled the peasant blouse over her head to reveal a tight brown camisole underneath.
She wasn't wearing a bra and Alaric found himself momentarily distracted. He was however brought back to reality when his eyes moved upward and landed on the dried blood on her neck. "Pull your hair back for me," he whispered.
Bonnie lifted ran her hands through her hair, scooping it up and holding it up and out of the way. Alaric began to clean the blood from her neck with the wash cloth in his hand. His touch was gentle and Bonnie closed her eyes leaning into it. "You're good at this," she said.
"What? Cleaning up blood?" Alaric chuckled.
Bonnie shook her head as the last of the blood was cleared away. "Taking care of me," she answered. "You didn't have to bring me here. You didn't have to intervene at all back there. I know what you're risking. Thank you."
Ric watched as she let go of her hair and it once again tumbled down her shoulders. "I wouldn't have bothered for anyone else. Not with bringing them here anyway."
"I know that too." She leaned over and kissed his cheek and pulled back quickly.
Bonnie took the shirt he offered to her and pulled it over her head. Without saying anything more to her Alaric opened his arms. Bonnie leaned into him immediately wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his around her in turn.
They sat like that for a long time before Bonnie started to talk. Eventually she told him everything. She told him the truth about her family. About vampires and the Salvatore brothers. She told him what was going on in the town and the lives that had been lost. She told him about her possession and what had happened that very night.
Alaric had been right about the darkness in the town, about what was hidden in the shadows. A part of him felt vindicated that Isobel's research and her death hadn't been in vain but he said nothing. He let Bonnie talk and cry and rubbed her back and waited until she was done.
When she stopped crying he told her everything would be alright. He told her that she was safe and then he told her some truths of his own. About Isobel and her research and his real motives for coming to Mystic Falls.
Alaric pried himself away from Bonnie and left the room. When he returned it was with a stake in hand. "I'm a hunter," he said, "I've been researching and hunting since my wife was killed by a vampire. Her body was never found. It disappeared when the monster did but I vowed I would find him and I've been researching and hunting ever since. So believe me when I say you're going to be safe with me and I'm even if I can't really promise that nothing bad will happen again I can promise to fight like hell to make sure it doesn't and to be there for you when it does."
Bonnie stood from the couch and walked up to him. She put her hand over the hand he had on the stake. "I don't know how to use my powers," Bonnie said, "Not yet. They didn't keep me safe tonight and until they can…I want you to teach me what you know."
Alaric smiled. She was a witch and a fighter and so strong. After everything she had been through that night she was still determined. He admired her all the more. This girl that had come out of nowhere and had confirmed and validated everything he had been trying to prove right for so long. This girl that looked at him with such awe when she was the one who was the amazing one. This girl who had fought demons that very night and wanted to still keep fighting. He wasn't sure how he would fight what he felt for her but it was a battle for another day.
"One thing at a time," he said, "For right now let's get some rest. Now that Emily is gone, maybe you'll get a good night's sleep, it's the least you deserve."
He had planned on letting her sleep on the couch but Bonnie stood and held out her hand to him. Alaric set the stake on the coffee table and took her hand, even knowing how dangerous it was, he led her to his bedroom.
Bonnie took of her shoes and the jeans that she was wearing. As they hit the floor Alaric's t-shirt covered Bonnie and fell past her knees. Alaric was tempted to see more of the view underneath but shook his head.
"Go ahead and get in," he said, "I'm going to go change."
"You're not going to fight me on this?" Bonnie asked, clearly surprised that he hadn't opted to argue.
"Not tonight," he said, "I don't want you to be alone and you don't want to be alone. I want you here and you want me with you. You've been through enough. We'll worry about the rest in the morning."
Bonnie smiled and then climbed in the bed and under the covers. Alaric walked over to his dresser and pulled another t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants from the drawers.
He walked into the bathroom to change. He changed quickly and stared at himself in the mirror, knowing that he was a man damned.
Alaric left the bathroom and retrieved his and Bonnie's discarded clothes, throwing them all in his hamper.
He turned out his light as walked back into the room. It was easier to climb in bed with her and think nothing of it in the dark. She crawled over to his side immediately and he wrapped his arms around her as she draped herself over him.
"Goodnight, Ric," Bonnie whispered, her lips brushing against his neck where her face was buried, as she spoke.
"Goodnight, Bon," he whispered back, his hands gripping her tightly as he kissed the top of her head.
Yes, fighting his feelings for her would be a battle. A battle for another day. A battle that Alaric knew that he would likely lose.