Lexicon
-Ritsuka, [Reetskah] Proper Noun.
Untouchable.
Impossible not to love.
Beautiful.
Innocent, Mature.-
And it continues.
My feelings.
The unavoidable yearning from within.
Is it such a terrible word, Lust?
-Lust, [Luhst] Verb.-
And I'm searching for the most fitting definition. Trying to fit words around my feelings, if only to understand it myself.
-Intense sexual desire or appetite. Lecherousness.-
That isn't it. Why can words sound so foul? Why can the definition of something so pure, yet entirely wrong of me, sound so lewd. I lust, I am not lecherous. I am no leech.
-An overmastering desire or craving.-
I crave, I desire. Ritsuka. My Master. I lust for you Ritsuka, I do. Not your body, I crave your soul and everything that comes with it. I want to explore him, Ritsuka, every part of his mind and body. I want to join and never separate. To hold him eternally. Because I love.
But why? Something so wrong of me. Me, a Fighter, servant. A tool.
I am no lovebird. A caged songbird, I am, whose melody has been turned to weapon. A weapon should not love, a tool should not. But yet, temptation beckons.
-Perverse. [Per-vers] Adjective.
Willfully determined to counter what is right.-
Perhaps they are correct. I am, perverse. A pervert.
Countering what has been taught. What is correct. How I believe my Sacrifice's orders and respect them as what is right above all but still manage to perverse from it is beyond me. I couldn't begin to comprehend the blasphemous desires my body began to contain when I encountered Ritsuka. Lust.
Is lust so wrong?
Does everyone not lust?
But I am not them. I am not; I, a Fighter. Loyalty is all this body should harbor.
Does anyone lust as much as I?
Perhaps Ritsuka. But I doubt even he could yearn for me as I do for him. The desire is eating me away. Seconds without him last eternally.
I've yearned for a Master, a controller, all my life. But now I wish for Ritsuka in whatever way I can receive him.
How disgusting for a servant to desire his Master. How beautiful.
I am Lustful.
I am Perverse.
But these words will not matter as long as I can hold him in my arms, Ritsuka.
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