"Hey Ro, what'cha doing?" I felt my younger brother Denis flop on my shoulders. "Nothing much, just memorizing my lines." I said. Denis poked at my cheek as he looked at me. "Are you sure? Not thinking about hell again?" He asked. Hell is what we referred our birth parents and old house as. Since Denis was so much younger then myself I protected him as best as I could so I took the brunt of the abuse, both verbal and physical. Most of the scars and bruises were where I could easily hide them, sometimes I had to wear makeup to hide the bruises. "No I'm not thinking about that." I reassured him. Denis smiled and laid on my lap with a bright smile on his face. Despite all that we've been through Denis and me has always been about to keep a smile on ours faces, but sometimes I had to fake the smile. It became hard sometimes to come off as the spunty, happy, aironet theater kid that I came off as. I've suffered but I tried to hide it as much as I could. "Boys! Time for school!" Me and Denis rushed downstairs, grabbing our things on the way. Our adopted parents Thomas and Jon were waiting for us when we came down the stairs. "Alright, I've got to go to work so Thomas will drive you to school today." Jon said. We both nodded and got into the car with Thomas who drove us to school. Me and Denis having to separate to going to our different classes and our different friend groups.
"Hey guys! How's it going?" I asked my friends. My nerd friend Logan Achilles rolled his eyes at my enthusiasm but a fond smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. My puff ball of a friend Patton Thomson just smiled and just said he was doing fine. My emo friend Virgil Black just let off a small huff and a tiny smile and didn't really respond to the question. When Virgil asks me a surprising question. "Are you alright Ro?" He asked. I laughed. "Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" I asked putting on my best smile. Virgil looked like he didn't believe me so as we were walking to our first class together he stopped to look at me. "Look Roman, if there's something going on I want to help you. All you have to do is tell me." He said. "Virgil I'm fine! Why are you asking so much?" I asked. "There's no hiding Ro, I can see it in your eyes. Something is going on." He said. I let my smile drop but wouldn't look Virgil in the eye. "It's nothing, I'll be fine." I said letting my voice go low. "It's clearly not nothing if it's bothering you this much." Virgil said. "Virgil please leave it alone, I don't want to talk about it." I begged feeling tears welp up in my eyes.
Virgil looked at me and then sighed. "Alright but please you can't keep whatever it is in forever." Virgil said. "I swear I'll talk to someone but not right now, it's hard." I said. "Okay, I guess that's the best I'm going to get." Virgil sighed and we continued to class. At lunch Denis and his friend Remy joined us and we talked like nothing was wrong. But in the back of my mind I was trying to push away memories and make sure that no one noticed my uneven breaths, but of course Denis noticed. And out of the blue he uses the code word. "Hell?" He asked. Everyone looks at Denis funny but I give him a tiny nod and he stands up and pulls me out of my seat. "We're going to the bathroom for a bit guys, don't wait on us." He said pulling me away from the group and to the bathroom. "Where?" He asks. I knew he was asking what memory I was thinking of, I place my hand over a scar hidden under my clothes. "It's okay Ro, no one is going to hurt us anymore. You're safe, we live with Thomas and Jon now. Their nice aren't they?" He says trying to distract me from my thoughts. I nod focusing on my brother. This continued for a while until I calmed down and could rejoin the group. "Hey, you guys okay?" Logan asked once we got back. "Yeah we're okay, Ro just needed some time to relax. He's been under a quite a bit of stress lately." Denis said.
Logan and Patton seemed to believe him but Virgil looked secticul of it. Me and Virgil happen to share our next class so after lunch while we were heading over to class he spoke. "Hey Roman are you alright? You seemed pretty drained after you came back from the bathroom." He said. I knew that Virgil was just worried but I didn't feel like being questioned. "Yeah I'm fine, it's just been stressful the past few days." I said. Virgil still looked doubtful but he sighed. "If you say so, just remember that you can talk to me okay?" He asked. "Alright, thanks Virgil." I said giving him a smile. Virgil nodded and we entered the classroom together and sitting down. After school I had resheal with Denis and the rest of Drama but half way through I started having a panic attack causing Denis to drag me off to help me calm down before anyone could see. After the attack I was shaking and crying in my younger brother's arms as he hushed me. "So-sorry about this Dee, I'm usually the strong one of us but I can't seem to h-hold myself together for even a day." I hiccuped. "It's alright Ro, you spent so much time protecting me. I'm just repaying the favor." He said. I huddled against my younger brother as he continued to comfort me as past memories continued to assault my brain. Thankfully I managed to pull myself together and get though the rest of resheal without much problems and got home where I flopped onto my bed exhausted from two panic attacks in one day. After a bit I fell asleep in my bed. The next day I tried my best to seem upbeat and happy but I realize that I couldn't do it after stepping one foot in the school gates, I decided to just seem tired which was easy for me at the moment. "Hey Roman you alright?" Patton asked right away. "I'm okay, just tired that's all." I said.
Logan and Patton looked like they believed me but Virgil looked doubtful. "Are you sure Ro? You seem more than tired." Virgil said. I nodded not really saying anything in response to him. As we were walking to class together he turned to me and stopped in front of me to stop me in my tracks. "Look Roman I can tell something is up, please tell me or someone! You can't kept this up, I know you think you can but trust me you can't! You need to talk about it." He said a pleading look in his eyes. I couldn't look him in the eyes. "I will, at some point." I muttered. Virgil sighed but he just nodded letting me calm down so we walked to class and sat down like usual.
Virgil's POV
I sat down in class and looked at Roman, the tired look in his eyes and on his face spoke volumes. I knew there was something Roman was keeping in but he refused to talk about it with me but insisted that he would talk to someone about but he's not saying when he will. I was concerned about his well being but I knew better then to force him to talk about. I sighed and looked at the small flash drive I had hidden in my pocket, I had done some writing at home but I would finish it in the school computer lab and print it there before following through with my plan. Oh Roman, I wish I can get you to talk to me some time. Hopefully I can get answers this way what is troubling you. I thought to myself looking at Roman out of the corner of my eye.
Hope you enjoyed, I'll leave it here for now. Until next time, bye! - June