Post 6x4
Regina doesn't know what to do. A million thoughts are going through her mind and no matter how hard she tries to shut them out, she can't. She hasn't slept in almost three days and she's beyond exhausted. It's not fair, she thinks. It's not fair that she tries so hard to be good, only to end up here, at the ultimate sacrifice. If she wants to save the town, save Henry, the people she loves, she has to die.
"Regina, I know you're awake."
It's Emma. Henry must have heard her crying and called to tell Emma, hoping she would be able to help. He was always trying but, little did he know, trying got you nowhere.
"Emma, it's late. I'm trying to sleep." She could see under the crack in the door that Emma didn't budge and a small part of her wished she would just walk in already.
"Regina, can I come in?"
She feigned a sigh, pretended to be annoyed, but told Emma to enter. The room was pitch black and the only light was the little that seeped in through the curtain. Regina didn't bother to move, her muscles too tired.
"You've been crying," Emma said. She sat on the edge of the bed, observing Regina's body language even in the dark.
"You would too if you lost your soulmate, then split yourself in half, and now you have to kill yourself to save everyone else."
"Regina… we aren't going to let that happen." Emma scooted her hand to Regina's and Regina froze. "We'll find another way."
"I'm tired," Regina admitted quietly, "so tired. All I ever do is fight anymore. There's no other way Emma. This is what it means to be a hero, to sacrifice yourself. Maybe then at least I'll get to see Robin."
"Regina, stop talking like that. This isn't you. You never give up this easily."
"That's just it," Regina argued, "I haven't given up and look where I am. I am still trapped in some forsaken story that I don't want to be a part of anymore. It's like I've said before, in the end, it won't be too late for me to do the right thing."
Emma felt the deep ache in her heart. The part of it that squeezed tight at hearing Regina's breaking voice, her sadness so real and so painful. She couldn't sit there anymore. She couldn't just sit by and watch Regina's life deteriorate into nothing. She stood up, flipped on the lights, and told Regina to get dressed. "You have five minutes. I'll be downstairs."
"Emma, it's not worth it," Regina argued, now sitting with the covers off of her.
"Five minutes."
Regina got dressed, she figured it couldn't hurt anything. She pulled on the same outfit she had been wearing earlier and grabbed a light jacket, descending the stairs and meeting Emma on the porch. "Will you at least tell me where we are going at this hour?"
"You'll see when we get there."
It wasn't a very long walk but they spent their steps in silence. Emma was determined to turn this situation around. She was the savior, and damn it if she had saving to do. When they arrived outside the mines, Regina stopped in her tracks. She should have known the path, but she had tried to put that memory behind her, along with countless others. "Why are we here?"
Emma said nothing, but made her way inside. She knew Regina would follow behind her. They walked a few feet, stopping at the same place they stood not that long ago.
"I haven't been back here since that day," Regina said.
"This is where you told me that everyone saw you as the evil queen, including Henry. That you didn't want to be that person anymore. You wanted to change. You were going to sacrifice yourself to save the town and you still had the evil queen inside of you then."
"I just wanted Henry to know that my love for him was real…" she whispered, "that everything good I did was because of him. I never wanted to hurt him."
"Look at him now," Emma said, unable to take her eyes away from Regina's trembling frame. She looked so small now.
"He doesn't need me. I only bring disaster to this town and danger to him. He's better off with you. You don't have thousands of people with a grudge plotting against you."
"Regina, just shut the hell up!" Emma had enough. She couldn't take this Regina anymore. This Regina wasn't the Regina she knew and damn it if she wasn't going to get that Regina back tonight.
"You haven't been the evil queen since magic was brought back to Storybrooke. Every decision you made after that was made with goodness in your heart, and you can pretend all you want that what I'm saying isn't true, but you know it is. There's always another way. How many times have we been through this? The diamond, Neverland, Pan, the Snow Queen, Regina we literally went to hell and survived."
"No!" Regina seethed, "we didn't all survive! Your pirate got to come back to life and Robin lost his! How is that fair, Emma? What's the point of trying to be good when it gives me nothing in return? Robin was innocent, he did nothing wrong! And he's dead! Gone. Obliterated into nothing." Her face turned red with anger and she let everything she had been feeling out. "The only reason the diamond was ever activated was because you were going to leave and take Henry away from me. The Snow Queen cast the curse because of you. We went to hell because you wanted to save your precious love. This is all your fault!"
"Regina, you don't mean that."
"I don't?" she smirked. Putting those walls up and acting brave was what she was used to. She didn't want to be a hero anymore. The evil queen had no feelings and right now, Regina wanted that more than anything.
"No," Emma said simply. "You've come too far. That's not who you are anymore." Emma saw the first crack. The drop in Regina's shoulders and the quiver in her chin and she knew… Regina was breaking.
"It's not fair!" she cried. Tears spilling down her cheeks. Her whole figure trembling as she dropped to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "It's not fair. It's not fair."
Emma slowly walked over to her, sat down next to her on the ground, and wrapped her arms around her. "You are a hero. Regina, no matter what anybody tells you, you deserve the title. All of those situations that I got us into, you helped get us out of. It was you who always saved the town. I know that you're hurting… I know it's not fair but, I'm not letting you give up. There is another way and I'm already one step closer to finding it."
"Why do you believe in me so much?"
"It's my fault we're here," Emma admitted. "I asked for the serum because I thought it could help you. I never think about the consequences… I messed this up and I'm going to fix it."
"You don't think I'm too weak?"
Emma forced a sad smile, "I never thought you were weak, Regina. You're anything but weak. Which is why I need your help in this. Aladdin has taken the serum before. I don't know the details but, I do know that he figured out a way to kill his counter-part. He isn't going to tell us so, it's up to us to figure it out."
"So… there really is another way?"
"I hope so," Emma said, "because I'm not letting you die."