CHAPTER 1: Accident
Author's note: Hello again, everypony. Long time, no see. It's been literally months since the last time I posted a fic. I'm certain that many of my readers were convinced that I was gone for good. Not the case, I was just busy with several projects, including writing most of this story before attempting to post it. To be honest, I had experimented with multiple, different stories, and this one seemed the most promising. I've done a couple of crossovers in the past, and finding fics of this particular pairing of implausible plots lacking in number, I decided to crack my knuckles and make an attempt of my own. That said, I find Doctor Richtofen's part not only easy to write, but fun as well, and I hope you all experience the comedy, tragedy and suspense of this, my newest work. Enjoy, and please review with questions or comments.
Kino Der Toten, Berlin, Germany, 1963
With a rumbling sound and a storm of electrical arcing, four figures appeared in the large room. Looking around, they took in their surroundings. The chamber they were in was obviously the large foyer of an abandoned theater. Tattered red Nazi banners hung ominously over the piles of debris and broken furniture that littered the room, providing some idea as to the location and purpose of the new location they had been sent. A set of stairs on either side of the lobby led to a balcony above, and between the stairs, a door led to somewhere, more than likely to the theater itself. Already used to arriving in such places, one of the four men spoke.
"What the hell is this, a theater?" An American in the green uniform of a Marine quipped. His name was Tank Dempsey, and if any of this group was ready for a fight, it was the former U.S. Marine Raider. He racked the slide on his Colt M1911 .45 automatic, chambering a round.
"Ja, zis is a theater zhat vas used by Group Nine Sree Five." A German replied dismissively with a bored wave of his gloved hand. This man wore the khaki uniform coat and peaked cap of a Nazi officer, along with black gloves, and the collar insignia of a major general. In truth, he was indeed a Major General in the Wermacht. His name was Doctor Edward Richtofen, a Nazi scientist known both for his brilliance and his sadistic insanity. He examined his own 1911 like a child would do so with a beloved toy. "But vhy are vhe here? Und vhat shurprizes does zhat incouragable little brat have in shtore for us now?" He added, alluding to the ethereal girl who had been tormenting the four for so long now with her little game.
"Do not know, do not care..." A shabbily dressed Russian soldier answered in a thick accent. "I yust need my wodka and enough ammo." Set on completing at least half of his life's goals, Nikolai Belinski pulled a bottle of vodka from his coat and took a long drink. "Daht vorry Ladies..." He added, "Nikolai will send little girl to her room for time out."
"Bah, you still lack in honor!" A distinctly Asian voice declared as a Japanese soldier stepped forward. "Do no underestimatah you enemy, else you may fall to him in your arrogance!" This was Takeo Masaki, former captain in the Imperial army, and arguably the more rational and level-headed of the quartet.
"Whatever." Nikolai shrugged. "I think somebody needs to get the power turned on. This is like third wife's house..."
"Knock it off guys." Dempsey stated. "We need to get ready. Those maggot sacks are gonna be coming any second. Cover the barriers till we can get these doors open, OORAAH!"
"Already got an upgrade." Nikolai said as the Russian used his existing points to grab an Olympia double-barreled shotgun off the wall near a barricaded window. Richtofen sneered at his three fellow soldiers a moment before kneeling to begin work on the connection between the thick cable that led to the receiver they had arrived on.
"I vill need shome time to get zhe teleporter here vorking." Richtofen stated, inspecting the device. He trailed the thick cable with his eyes. It led underneath the strongly-built door between the staircases. That is where the transmitter would be. "Not much, zho..." There was a raspy scream from somewhere. "Oh, und you may vhant to take care of mine minions."
"Useless kraut..." Dempsey mumbled.
"Zhere coooming for you, Dempshey..." The insane doctor cooed mock-creepily. He giggled immaturely. "Zhere coming to get yoouuu."
"Fuck off and die." Dempsey said, unamused. He walked over to a nearby barricade and fired four shots, killing two zombies. Nikolai used his shotgun to kill several zombies upstairs, while Takeo ran between two boarded-up doorways downstairs, killing the ghouls trying to break through, and rebuilding the barriers.
"First wave, we are victorious." Takeo commented calmly, reloading his pistol as Dempsey jogged upstairs to retrieve an M14 from the chalk outline on the wall.
"Like taking wodka from baby..." Nikolai added.
"A baby...viss vodka..." Richtofen queried, looking up. "Vhy vould ein baby have...ugh, nevermind. I am zhe only sane person in zhis room!" This was punctuated by the German shaking his head violently as he tried to expel the voices from inside his mind. "SHUT UP, VERDAMMNT YOU! I VILL NO LISTEN TO YOUR LIES! LALALALALAAA!" It worked for the time being, and he returned to his work. "Aaaannnd...ja. I am done here. Somebody open zhe doors so vhe can get zhe power on now."
"You know the game as well as I do, Richtofen!" Dempsey exploded. The marine shook his rifle toward the German scientist. "We'd be able to get more points to open the damned doors if you would fuckin' help once in a while!" Just then, the sound of boards being ripped from a barricade sounded upstairs, and the American simply stood there, staring expectantly at the doctor. Richtofen rolled his green eyes. He walked to the chalk outline of the olympia.
"Ja...ja...I knooow...I have to do everysing around here." With that, he grudgingly stomped up the stairs and began killing zombies. Soon, the four reluctant allies had enough kill points to start opening doors. Dempsey opened the first, and the group piled through into a smaller room. Not wanting to waste time in tight quarters where they could be easily overrun, Nikolai, running at the head of the small group opened the next door. They found themselves at the top of a flight of stairs overlooking another large room. As they made their way down the staircase into what was once the theater's bar, Richtofen spied the chalk outline of one of his favorite weapons on the wall. He reached out to the outline, an MP-40 machine pistol appearing in his hands. He let out a high-pitched maniacal laugh before turning to execute half a dozen zombies that had pursued the team into the room.
"Zhe blood! Zhe beautiful blood!" He screamed madly.
They had to battle the next round of zombies and a pack of hell hounds in the room before Takeo could open the next door that stood in their way. They fought their way through another wave easily, and pushed forward, toward their objective. With one more door between them and the power switch and teleporter, Richtofen finally (and reluctantly) spent some of his horded points to get through. Now in the theater itself, with the throw of a large knife-switch, they were at last able to get the power restored to the building. As the generator hummed to life, so did the teleporter siting atop the stage like the proverbial elephant in the room. They fanned out across the large, ruined auditorium, all noticing the glowing box atop the small table near a pile of broken chairs. That would have to wait. The next wave was coming.
Dempsey found the M-16 outline, and bought himself the rifle, followed in suit by Takeo. Now with better guns, the four zombie-killers went on a rampage throughout the stage and seating area. Dempsey and the Japanese officer teamed up to take on all comers. The doctor worked on the teleporter, attempting to get the device functional again. Nikolai mostly swore in Russian, guzzled vodka and stabbed zombies in the head. Their strange tactics prevailed, and within a couple minutes, all that was left was a single crawler dragging itself pitifully around the room, reaching out for whoever walked past. They all knew the game by now; leave one alive and the new round can't begin...and you can take a break.
With the most recent wave of the undead all but beaten, the four now turned their attention back to the crate sitting in the theater room. The mystery box. Another part of the game they were forced to play, and one of the only better rules. It enticed them to gamble with the "points" Samantha had given them for their kills, to wager 950 valuable points for a chance at getting a superior weapon. With the zombies getting faster and more plentiful with each new attack, needless to say the four were game for trying their luck with the box of weaponry. Richtofen walked toward the box, wanting to be the first to try his luck and get something a little more powerful than his beloved MP-40. A certain marine had other ideas though.
"Outta the way Doc, America first." Dempsey growled, shoving the mad scientist aside with a shoulder. He flipped open the box with the toe of his boot and gave a grin as an ever-changing assortment of guns and other weapons flashed before him, a music box melody playing 'Brahm's Lullaby' as fate decided his weapon. The box finally stopped on a large-caliber magazine-fed rifle, much to Tank Dempsey's delight. "FAL...for the win, Oorah!" The marine exclaimed, pleased with the new weapon.
"I hope it gives me wodka." Nikolai mumbled as he staggered up and threw open the lid of the mystery box. The selection of weapons cycled before him, stopping on an RPK. "Is not wodka, but almost as good." He said, taking the LMG and jogging off.
"Give zhe doctor a nice new toy..." Richtofen spoke to the box, slinging his MP-40 across his back. He smiled and rubbed his hands together as if he was about to test his skill as he regarded the box with the glowing question marks. He opened the lid, and the ever-changing pantheon of weapons scrolled before him like symbols on a slot machine. When the cycle stopped, the German let out a squeal of glee as he grabbed the small red ray gun from the box. He tested it out on the last crawling zombie in the room before returning to his work on the teleporter.
Takeo stepped up, last in line, and without saying a word, he opened the lid and waited patiently as the weapons flashed before him. They slowed, finally stopping on the one thing none of them wanted to see: a teddy bear. Samantha's giggling resounded through the room as the box began to shake.
"Bye bye..." The demonic little girl's voice said as the mystery box lifted into the air and vanished, leaving an angry Takeo standing in the room holding a pretty much useless M16.
"Little bear has brought me great dishonor." The Japanese soldier stated. He grunted and went to buy more ammo for his rifle. An ungodly screech broke the relative silence of the room.
"We got another wave comin' in!" Dempsey shouted.
"I get the lobby!' Nikolai called.
"I will go with you. We work together for once." Takeo said to the Russian. The two ran through the short hall into the lobby they had arrived in as the American and the German prepared to defend the area around the all-to-important teleporter. Soon, the horde came, screaming and growling as they broke through barricades and rushed through doors from other rooms in the large building. Dempsey ducked and dodged the zombies, getting them to trail him until he could make a short stand and destroy several at a time, hooting and hollering as he mowed them down, a Pied Piper of death in a crewcut.
The doctor was more of a pragmatist during the onslaught. Focused on getting the machine working, the mad doctor had little time or patience for anything but his work. He simply picked off a few zombies that got close, turned a couple screws on the device, shot a few more ghouls, then calmly pushed some buttons on the console, seemingly disinterested in or detached from the horror around him. Finally, when it looked like he was about to be mobbed, he sighed irritably at the interruption. The doctor slowly stood, and stoically led a small herd of the dead away from the teleporter where he ended them with a hand grenade, then returned to working on calibrating the bell-shaped experiment.
"Zhere." He said out loud. He hopped off of the stage and shot a crawling, legless zombie in the head with his raygun. "Bad zhombie! Anyvhay...All finished."
"Good! Now help me deal with these freakbags!" Dempsey answered, firing his FAL.
"I'll tell you vhat, you shtay here und keep zhem busy. I am going to use zhe teleporter now." Richtofen ordered. The German ran up the steps onto the stage, blasting a zombie with his raygun to make room for his escape as he jogged toward the humming bell-shaped contraption.
"Wait for the rest of us you fucking Kraut bastard!" Dempsey bellowed from in front of the stage. He fired his FAL into a group of approaching zombies, downing all four of them with well-placed double-taps to the head. "Those hell houds'll be coming any minute!" The German was unfazed, and continued to walk casually toward the teleporter. Dempsey could hear the sounds of Nikolai and Takeo's automatic weapons from the next room as they battled a horde of their own. More zombies came at the Marine, angering him even further. "Richtofen you rat, I'm surrounded!" He looked back to see the Nazi scientist standing inside the teleporter.
"Oh joy! I mean...Vell, zhat's tooo baaad for yoouuuuu..." Richtofen remarked mockingly. He pressed a button on the wall of the large device. "Daht vorry, Dempshey, I'll be back vonce I pack-a-punch mein ray gun!" As he spoke, Nikolai Belinski ran into the room, pursued by a large group of the undead.
"Ohhh sheet, dees fooking tings are...AH FUCK, CRAWLER!" The Russian exclaimed, spotting a crawling zombie directly in front of him. He fired his RPK, two of the rounds striking the large cable leading to the teleporter, sending sparks arcing from the power supply. The high-tech machine now emitted a staccato crackling sound and began to glow blue.
"Nikolaaiii!" Richtofen screamed. "Vhat zhe Hell did you dooooooooooo?!" Smoke filled the teleporter, and in a flash, the German had disappeared. Nikolai turned and emptied his weapon into the mass of approaching ghouls as Dempsey proceeded to run around the stage, trailing his zombies like the pied piper, stopping briefly to take headshots until he had downed all of them. A few moments later, with the zombies finally killed, the two men stopped to gaze curiously at the teleporter, which was emitting a few tendrils of smoke, an occasional popping noise, and a smell like burning band-aids.
"Oops." Nikolai said sheepishly, earning a punch to the arm from the American soldier. "It was accident, comrade."
"And that's why I didn't break your face." Dempsey answered.
"So sorry..." Takeo stated, entering from the next room. "I had ran low of honor. Needed to buy rifle from mystery boxu." The Japanese Imperial army captain noticed his two fellow super-soldiers staring at the teleporter on the stage. "Did I ah...missa something? Where is the doctor?" Nikolai pulled out his trademark bottle of vodka and took a long drink as Dempsey motioned toward the machine.
"No...fucking clue..." Tank Dempsey replied stoically. "In my professional opinion, I'd say he's dead."
"What do we do now?" Nikolai asked.
"Fetch me their soouuullls!" A voice growled from seemingly everywhere at once. Dempsey dumped the depleted magazine from his rifle, and popped a fresh one into the mag well, seating it with a slap.
"We kill us some maggot sacks!" The marine raider answered confidently. "OORAH!"
Author's note: Yes, I will be writing the character's dialogue, especially Richtofen's phonetically...that is to say that it is just too fun to butcher the english language by writing the way the crazy german speaks. Sho expect zhis kind of writing all sroo zhe shtory. I hope zhat you have no difficulties in reading in zhe Deutch accent, mein lieblings! Oh, und do not forget to send me many wonderbar reviews, ja? Ahem...I will try to have the next chapter up soon, especially if anyone out there actually likes it. So until the next installment, auf wiedersehen!