Summary: Casey is about to get married to the man of her dreams. And she totally wants to. Really. She isn't thinking about anyone else at all. Masey/Dasey. Mainly Dasey.
A/N: You read the chapter title correctly! We're jumping right into it, kids. Okay, so this idea just kinda plopped into my brain, possibly leaving a sticky residue on my ceiling. I wrote it down.
This is un-beta'd, and it might be a little fast. Please note that I haven't written fanfic or even really short-story length stuff for a while, so I'm kind of getting back into the groove. And I don't have the second chapter written out yet. I'm not even sure if this is gonna reach more than three chapters, in the long run. So, with all my insecurities hung out for all to see, and without any further ado, I present to you:
I Do… Don't I?
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Chapter One: I Do… Don't I?
'I do.'
'I do.'
'I really, really do.'
No matter how many times Casey said it, the girl in the mirror stared back at her with doubtful eyes. The clock on the wall ticked away, and she thought it might as well be ticking down her last minutes on earth. In five minutes they would start the music. In five minutes Casey McDonald would be getting married.
She fought the urge to cry as she sat down on the toilet seat. Normally she would freak out about her dress and the grossness of sitting down on a toilet, but right about now she was busy freaking out about more important stuff. Such as the feeling of impending doom settling like a rock in her stomach.
The door swung open, and Casey looked up.
"Em…" She could barely get her best friend's name out. And then the waterworks came. Emily knew what to do, and was instantly kneeling before her, leaning into a hug.
"What's wrong, hon?"
Casey took a few moments to let the initial bout of sobs subside and to curse her tendency toward crying at the most inopportune times. Eventually she leaned back out of the hug. She couldn't look at Emily, so she just looked at her hands. The ring was there, sparkling up at her; mocking her with it's perfect-ness. She had helped Max pick it out, but he hadn't minded. It was perfect. It was exactly what she wanted in a ring.
"I… I don't think I can do this."
Emily sat back and waited, knowing the Casey Dam was about to break open and let loose a whole lot of nonsense. She was preparing to translate that into useful information.
"I mean… the ring is perfect, and everything is going exactly as planned." Casey stood up abruptly and started pacing the small bathroom, leaving Emily to take her place on the toilet. "Everything is good; it's great! I should be fine. I am fine. I just need to focus." She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror again, saw her mascara running ('Waterproof, my ass!') and started ranting again. "But I just keep feeling these knots twisting in my stomach every time I think about Max waiting at the altar for me, and not the good kind, and I just…" At this point she made a noise that was closely related to both a grunt and a scream.
"Alright Casey, just calm down." Emily stood up, and took her friend's hands. "So… you're not sure you can do this, get married. Everything's on schedule, nothing has gone wrong, you're nervous; but not the good kind of nervous," Casey nodded along as she continued, "you love your ring…but do you love Max?" Emily silently prepared for onslaught number two.
Casey just stared at her for a moment in disbelief. "Of course I lo-"
A loud knock on the door interrupted her. A muffled voice came through the other side, which she recognized as one of her bridesmaids, Jane, "It's time!"
Suddenly Casey couldn't feel her legs. It was like a weird paralyzing numbness that spread upward from her toes.
"Casey? Are you okay?" Emily looked really concerned, probably by the look of unadulterated terror that flashed across Casey's face before being replaced with a strange calm.
"Yeah." She turned to the mirror and adjusted her make-up as best she could. "I'm alright. I'll be out in a minute, okay?" She smiled, but Emily wasn't buying it.
"Are you absolutely sure you're okay? Just a second ago you were having the Freak Out of all Freak Outs." Casey smiled, more sincerely this time, and nodded her head.
"I know, I know… I'm getting married; I think I'm allowed one big, giant, epic freak out. I'm sure Max had one too," she reasoned. "I love Max. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I've just been under a lot of pressure lately, ya know, all the planning and stuff…" She was not trying to convince herself. She was not.
"Okay…" Emily smiled uneasily back at her. "See ya out there."
--
The aisle was covered in white rose petals. She smiled at Marti, her flower girl, who smiled back, showing all her teeth. She'd done a good job. Her eyes roamed over the pews for a few moments before settling on Max. He was standing there looking as handsome as ever in his tuxedo, smiling at her. The calm that had overtaken her was starting to fade.
Still, she went forward, linking arms with George. Half-way up the aisle he would stop, and her father would lead her the rest of the way. It was about that time when she glanced over at Derek. He was smiling as well, but it was different somehow. He wasn't smirking, he wasn't overjoyed, and he didn't look like he was about to burst out laughing at her (all things she would totally expect Derek to do). He looked kind of… sad. Which was weird. Her heart beat faster; this whole 'calm' thing was definitely not working anymore. She looked back at Max. Her legs were itching, but she decided it was just the stockings she was wearing, and not the incredibly violent urge to run.
After what seemed like eons, she made it to the altar. Her dad kissed her on the cheek, and let go of her arm. Facing Max felt like facing her executioner. 'It shouldn't feel this way.' She brushed it off and smiled nervously at her soon to be husband.
--
"I, Max Miller, take thee, Casey McDonald, to be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, from this moment forward until death do us part." The wedding band slid on her finger with ease. Casey's face hurt from smiling so damn much.
Painful smile in place, she took Max's left hand, the ring shaking in her fingers. "I, Casey McDonald, take thee, Derek-" Max's smile was frozen in place. Gasps filled Casey's ears until she couldn't hear anything, and her mouth hung open. The apology in her eyes was flooded by the beginnings of tears as the ring fell at Max's feet. Slowly his smile fell.
"Um…" It was so quiet Casey could hear her heart trying to beat it's way out of her chest, and she swore that everyone else could hear it too. "I-I have to… go." And she was off. Screw possibly tripping while she was fleeing her own wedding; anything was better than standing there and having to face what had just happened. She did, however, lose her shoes somewhere before the front door. 'Who the hell wears high-heeled shoes to a wedding, anyway?' she thought. They were uncomfortable, and impractical, and it didn't make any damn sense.
She stopped when she'd run out of breath, and sat on a park bench. It had started raining as they'd gotten to the church, and now it was just a light drizzle. She didn't care that her dress was getting all grody; in fact, she deserved it. She was the world's worst fiancé. Scratch that; she was the world's worst person. Not only had she said someone else's name to Max on their wedding day, she had gone all out and said Derek's name. Of all people! Resting her head in her hands, she took a moment to wonder if she had finally just lost it.
Well, she was sitting on a park bench in a wedding dress, in the rain, with no shoes on, having just done a runner from her own wedding because she'd said her step-brother's name instead of her fiancé's. That about summed it up; she was now, officially, a crazy person.
It was another twenty minutes before she hailed a taxi and made her way home. Max wasn't waiting at the apartment. She shouldn't have expected him to be, after what happened, but she couldn't help but feel a small stab of pain in her heart. Relief and guilt fought within her until exhaustion won. She was too drained to feel anything anymore. Moving almost mechanically, Casey changed into some regular clothes, laid the dress on the bed, and packed a few things. She thought it might be best if she stayed with Emily for a few days. Maybe. Right now she couldn't think straight.
Her car was still there, as they had taken Emily's to the church, so that wouldn't pose a problem. Emily! Everybody was probably freaking out, maybe worse than she had been. Casey quickly picked up the phone and dialed her friend's cell. The voicemail picked up. "Hey, Em… So, I really screwed up, huh?" She didn't want to cry, but it was happening anyway. "I, uh… I'm okay. Tell everybody I'm okay… Please call me back as soon as you get this." She took a deep breath as she hung up. Looked around at the worn out couch they'd gotten from the classifieds two years ago, the fake plant in the corner because they'd both been too busy to take care of a real one.
She left the rings on the coffee table.