A/N: Hello. Welcome to my first humor, and although I've written other stories before this is my first time at a try with a humor fic. Some of the best humor stories out there right now are those with Voldy and his death eaters, that's what this is. Recommended stories include 'Making Friendship bracelets for Death Eaters' Once upon a Freak'n Time' and 'Voldemort and his faithful death eater's larks' This is humor, and for the most part no actual story plotline. In this most of the Death Eater's are extremely stupid with the exception of Snape, mentions of innuendo(some of it not on purpose), guest stars appear at random and are asked for by you the readers and reviewers. I have no idea how long this fic will last, but I hope enjoy. Have fun.

Summary: This story it is basically a continuous story of Voldemort and his followers trying to be evil, but not succeeding. Adventures include trips to other countries (which are usually a few chapters in length, and examples being President Voldemort of the United States, and Snape's Penguin Encounter), gathering new followers, plotting against the boy-who-would-not-die, and much more.

Disclaimer: I do not own the liabilities and perks of the Harry Potter world, if I did I wouldn't be needing a disclaimer for this story.

So you want to be evil?

Ch.1 Voldemort's first follower

The Lord of all evil, murderer of thousands, destroyer of millions, and annihilator of worlds, was currently twiddling his thumbs thinking of a new way to rule the world.

"I've got it." Voldemort said aloud and then apparated to his destination.

"Hello." Voldemort said to the man in front of him buying a weird shaped statue of a golden rat in 'Borgins and Burkes' whom he knew the name to be Peter Pettigrew.

"Ah! Oh no, they've found me, Sirius I swear I didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar." Peter cried out loud sobbing uncontrollably.

"No, wait this is-" Voldemort was cut off by Peter's uncontrollable sobbing.

"All Right! I did do it. I did steal the cookies from the cookie jar. I couldn't help it, the delectable chocolate gooey, hot fresh, mouthwatering chocolate chip cookies, they were tempting me, they betrayed me! I swear I'll never do it again, forgive me!" Peter cried pathetically clinging to Voldemort's robes and kissing the hems.

"But I'm not." Voldemort tried to say before Peter continued to babble.

"I swear I had nothing to do with the theft of your stuffed animal, I swear! Mr. Trumples is fine, remember you had him back in Hogwarts last year you left him in the girls dorm after being caught by P-Professor McGonagall."

"Listen I don't care for-" Voldemort began beginning to get angry.

"All right! I admit it I did steal Mr. Trumples. But who wouldn't, he was fluffy and plush, and nice and pink, he was the only one who ever listened to me as I often got in trouble for your pranks. Yes I stole him, and I'd do it again. You'll never get Mr. Trumples back!" Peter said in having a major mood swing, he turned around and began scuttling away after turning into his rat form he dubbed Scabbers.

"Accio Rat." Voldemort said lazily, and although Peter did come to him, so did about twenty more rats, and the people in the store looked at him weirdly, clinging to the rats and slowly making their way out of the store. Unfortunately for him as he called the rats to him Peter decided to change forms in air, and Voldemort was hit in the gut, by the rather fat man.

"Oh Sirius! I'm s-so sorry! P-please f-forgive me! I'll even give back Mr. Trumples, just don't prank me!" Peter began sobbing uncontrollably, and picked up a rat and began squeezing it sadly, not moving off of Voldemort. Voldemort crawled his way out , and removed a rat from his hair before glaring at the rat named Peter.

"I'll have you know, I am not Sirius." Voldemort began before being interrupted by the man soon named Wormtail for the rest of his life.

"I know your not serious, your Sirius, also known as Padfoot and Marauder number 2. Where as I poor, poor Peter Pettigrew known as Wormtail is below you in everything." Wormtail said trying to make Sirius/Voldemort sad for him, and hopefully not be pranked. Voldemort had finally had enough.

"Now listen here Worm! I am not Sirius! My name is Lord Voldemort and if you don't follow my every whim from now on and forever more, then I'll tell Sirius about Mr. Trumples and the cookies missing from the cookie jar!"

"No! Anything, but that. I'll do everything you say, I'll be your loyal humbler servant, but please don't tell Sirius!" Wormtail begged pathetically getting down on his hands and knees and begging.

Voldemort stopped to think, didn't he just make the same deal a moment ago? No matter.

"Very well I accept. Wormtail, now you're going to help me get more followers. Come on!" Voldemort said happily and skipping away, Wormtail clumsily following behind.

A/N: How was it? Wormtail is supposed to be a whiny baby who has obsessions for cookies and is paranoid of pranks. The next few chapters will have Voldemort gain more followers and then come up with a name, and then lots of misadventures and guest appearances. Hope you enjoyed Please read and review, it makes me happy!