A random thought.

I space out.

Oblivious to my surrounding.

I like the feeling. Losing myself in the spine of a book, seeing a part of myself in the rustling of a tree, the murmur of a beetle in summer, a voice in the distant, the sideburns of my hair, the doodles on my notebook, the doodling on my notebook. The flutter of the curtains by the open window the smell of perfume that reminds me of someone, the warmness of the asphalt after a hot day, the setting of the sun, the twilight that follows. The all nighters, the midnight snacks, the sappy anime's, the funny ones, the provoking ones.

I trap myself in these little kelidoscope of thoughts. Re living them, spending eternity in them, as if I've lost something. Something important. Something dear. Maybe my own self. I wonder why I get captivated by a faint clap of thunder.

"XXXX-kun!" I look up, jerked out from my reverie. Her name is. . . . I don't remember.

She is my classmate.

I think.

I see her on this intersection most days on my way to school. Maybe she waits for someone. Could it be me? I wondered once. But then again the fact that we never talked in school nor did she ever try to start a conversation in our meetings, were all enough reasons for that thought to not go wild.

There is a mysterious air about her. I can't figure her out and her sudden burst of friendliness that lasts a second.

"Good Morning." Her mouth is stretched - showing her slightly yellowed teeth—but not stretched enough to furl the skin around her eyes, which almost always seem bored to death. The omega 3 in her eyes suggest that a Dragon Maid might visit her one of these days.

I nod and as I walk past her. Her face reverts to a poker, betraying no emotion. Weirdo. Not like I'm in a superior position to say that. But still. . . . anyway, now I'm here—

On the hallway headed to my classroom.

I have a low presence, I know.

Whenever I am walking in the hallway there are people absent mindedly chatting while blocking the way. For example, right now. I awkwardly tell them to move in 'excuse me'. They don't seem to notice so I tell them again. No result. "Excuse me!" It comes out too loud before I realise it. They look startled. I think it would be like seeing a spectre materialize out of thin air and screaming(Scream. Did I? Well it sounded like one.).

In order to avoid situations like this sometimes I try to maneuver past them but then they'd bump into me or I would, into them. Keeping my head down doesn't help. I know. But then there's not much to look forward to.

I slid the door to my classroom open. Its like taking in a fresh breath of stale egg. Not appetizing at all. Here's a toast to a Wonderful day. But before that i—

I believe there are two types of self centred people. The first thinks the universe revolves around them and the second thinks they are not part of the universe. Which universe? The Milky way of course.

I think of myself as the latter. Not exactly a superiority complex. I enjoy my own company better since I find socializing trying. In fact I've begun to suck at it. Here's a demo.

The classroom is loud as I quietly make my way to my desk. Underneath the noise I hear a faint, 'Good Morning'. It's close, I think as I walk past someone but after taking a few steps I realise it was addressed to me, yours truly. Even though it was too late, in order not to seem stuck up yours truly looked back and whispered, 'Good Morning'. Wry smile. Awkward moment. Thank your Gods GoodMorning-kun, if i hadn't wished you back then your embarrassment level would have been over 9000.

The rest of the days goes in a blur. I wish I could say that and end it, but no. It gets spine crackingly tiring. The classes take eons to end, its as if like a snail trying to complete a hundred metre dash. Sometimes I try to concentrate on the snail but lose myself halfway in its spirally shell (you gotta be careful of them. You know, spirals. You might become a snail yourself), then I'd doodle on my notebook to waste time.

I read somewhere that doodling and listening to lectures helps you retain 13% more information. But I never listen unless its English. Sometimes I would just blank out and stare at the snail, its mucus trail, its sickly slimy skin, its protruding eyes, its spiral shell.

I'll keep on staring.

Keep on staring.

Keep on staring.

Staring, staring, staring, staring. . . till I register the cringey sound of the bell chiming.

Breaks for me are a blessing and a curse. I'd mostly read a cheap paperback and when I reach a boring part or when the cackling of laughter gets a few decibels too high I scurry to my ear phones to find peace.

I have a wide taste in music. I listen to anything and everything that feels good irrespective of the genre. Sometimes I'd bang my head to heavy metal, sometimes I'd drum my fingers on the desk to piano pieces, sometimes I'd gay out and listening to K-pop. Seriously, there is nothing wrong in listening to Korean boy bands. Just the music not the person behind the music. If you like the person behind the music then either you are a girl or you need to keep you feministic side in check. God, talk about being a sexist.

But listening to them in the classroom does not feel — how do I put it — Right. It does not feel the same as listening to them on your bed.

So I push my chair away and stand up. Time to stretch my legs, and the best way to do that is the walk to the library. Besides, sitting chained to my chair all day would make people I've fallen in love with it. I wouldn't want people calling me Desk-kun.

Never.

For now, the only place I could tag with the word 'like' after a few second pause is the library. Let me tell you one thing about the library, it is quiet. Not 'pin drop' but a 'rustling of a page' quiet. Lets be honest, the latter expression suits Libraries better, the only reason being that its because its a library. And it sounds more libraric. Wow, Libraric. Perhaps I wrote the Oxford dictionary in my past life, no?

I don't borrow books that often. I can't seem to find something I like or would want to read right away. I would scan the spines and if I stumble on an interesting title i would slide it out and read the synopsis on the back. I've never found synopsis helpful though. Its the dullest way a story could ever be told and if its detailed then. . . ugh. That's one of the reason I don't borrow much book. The cover also plays an important role too. It is wrong to judge a book by it's cover but it needs to be interesting enough to make people crack it open. Anyway—

I don't find anything interesting so I grab a picture book and stare outside the window. After a few minutes of listless staring and half baked reading I keep the book on it's shelf and leave. What a productive way of wasting time.

I find it enjoyable. I mean the walk back from the library to the classroom. The silent door breaking away to a lonely corridor, the lonely corridor slipping away to a solemn turn and the solemn turn giving way to the cool stairway. As I make way down, the sound of students crawling below can be heard. Its like a rushing river in a deep forest— growing louder with every step i take. It grows louder, louder, louder, louder till-

"XXXX-san" someone taps me on the shoulder. Its the class representative. His name is . . . . wait, what was is it again? Why am I such a sucker with names.

"Sensei was searching for you. She said it was . . ."

He hesitates, perplexed.

". . .kinda urgent."

That devil. I'm pretty sure she put 'fucking' in those lines before the translation. She didn't have any other adjectives or what. I don't wanna meet her.

"Now?"

"Yes," he nods.

"But the break is almost over." I pretend to furl my brow. Anything to escape.

Upon hearing those magical words he breaks into a smile.

"Don't worry, I'll tell the teacher that you were needed. Leave it to me."

"But—"

"Like I said leave it to me. These kind of things are what I'm suppose to do. Right?"

"O-oh" I wasn't thinking of it as an obligation though, you miserable piece of masochism.

"Well then, I'll take your leave."

"Um"

"Oh yes, XXXX-Kun have you joined any club yet?"

Clubs.

Never.

Not interested.

"Uh. . . not yet,"

"Oh, I see," He half whispers to himself, rubbing his chin. He looked like he was figuring something out. Well at least that pose suggest something like that. Wrong?

"Anyway, with the new rule its compulsory to join a club so its you better choose one fast. Well then," Saying that he leaves.

Compulsory, huh?

I never liked that word. How oppressive does it sound? But I guess we all have to wash our own underwear ourselves.

I make my way to the Faculty room leaving being the mass of Hito–Gomi.