In my mind is always chaos. From Rize-san to Yamori-san to my own ghoulish self.

Even when my body is moving, and talking, I'm usually just fighting off Rize-san and Yamori-san. They claw me. They haunt me. And they tell me all these lies of bad being good and good being bad, and sometimes, I can't see that it's a lie.

Usually, I'm just fighting off Rize-san and Yamori-san while this man, this man with white hair and cold yet lonely eyes, he controls my mind, my body. Everything. I can usually never even see what's going on outside of my mind. I'm so surrounded by the chaos that is my mind.

I cry so much. I scream so much. And I try so hard.

Usually, if that ghoulish version of me is here, with us, in my mind, he tells me to just fight, and I try. I don't understand him. He says that I'm pathetic, and I should try harder. That I need to sacrifice some things if I'm to win entirely. He just watches with those eyes that mirror my own. His holds only lonliness; mine hold many emotions. That is the only difference between our eyes.

But I know, our souls are so very different.

WHY...? Rize-san is supposed to be dead.. so why is she tormenting me?

Did Yamori-san torture me so badly that he now haunts me?

Crack.

Ah.. he's back again.

He only torments me worse..

"You know.. it's been a while. It's been a while since we killed Yamori."

What? "We killed Yamori"? Huh? Who is he.. talking about?

_I_ sure didn't kill Yamori-san. Yamori-san isn't dead, I thought.

But then again.. I'm not in that room anymore. I know from those tiny moments that I was in control of my own body.

"And yet you still haven't destroyed them. You just lay here, defeated. You let them claw into your skin."

"Who.. are you?" I grunted, trying to lift my head out of the chaos.

"Me? Well, in a way, I'm you. But you already knew that, didn't you? You made me, Kaneki. That torture was too much, and you wanted to stop it. But you didn't want to do anything," he scoffed. "Therefore, you made me."

"..."

"I killed Yamori. And since those two are too strong for you to fend off, I control your body so that you don't die, lose, or anything like that."

I... still don't understand..

"You don't, Kaneki? ... Really, your mind set is too engrained. I wonder how I could make you learn. Oh, I think I know. You have something still to be taken from.."

"?"

Suddenly, Rize-san and Yamori-san vanished, and I gasped, being untouched for the first time in so long..

But it didn't last.

HE made his move on me.

Tentacles wrapped around my wrists and ankles, and I recognized it as Rize-san's/my kagune. I was held in the air, and two other tentacles sprouted from his back and tore my clothes. My eyes widened as I realized what he was going to do.

But I denied it.

"If you don't want me to do this, fight back. In here, we can all have our kagunes, even if we share them in one body. It just takes a lot of mind and heart." He sneered, "Or are you going to take the pain, Kaneki? You know, there's no reason for me to do this, other than to make you stronger. You have to be the one hurting, if you want this to stop."

I didn't know what he was going to do - that's what I told myself - but it was obviously going to be bad. I sobbed and struggled against the restraints called kagune.

"You know, you are the core of this mind and body. If you're affected, it usually affects the body. As in," he chuckled, "If you cum here, you'll cum in real life. Of course, the trauma from being raped will always be there in your mind. And if it gets really bad.. it could affect your actual body."

What is.. the point of this.?

"The point, Kaneki, is to make you stronger. It's your turn, don't you understand? It's your turn to be the hurter. Finally, after all these years, you'll be the one hurting. And on purpose, too."

Why..?

Two more tentacles sprouted out of the white-haired, cold version of me, and as foreign as they were to my usual self, I recognized them from when I was barely in control..

Those spiky, destructive tentacles..

What was he going to do with them?

"Remember, Kaneki, you always have the power to stop me. You created me, after all. You just need the will. You just need the will to stop someone from hurting you."

And with that.. the preperations were done; the explanations were finished.

And he began his REAL attack.

Touka's P.O.V.

It's been a while since Kaneki joined Aogiri.. It ticks me off.

But what am I supposed to do? I don't know where he's at..

I'm currently sipping coffee, watching the news.

Supposedly, Aogiri struck again last night..

CRASH!

"EEEEEK!"

"What?! What's going on?!" I shot up and opened the windows. There I saw a sight I never thought I'd see.

Kaneki, that bookwormed idiot, walking toward a girl like he was a molestor.

Maybe it's not him.. I begged myself to believe, but that mask, that hair, it... was no mistake.

I raced out of the store and heard his voice as I turned the corner.

"Niku.. niku..! Nee, maybe I should chop off her fingers..? Do you know the sound of a centipete in your ear? What's 1000 minus seven? Let's just eat her already..!"

Wh..at?

I walked carefully toward the human and half-human.

He must be starving.. if he's acting like this. How long has he refused to eat this time?

"Kaneki.." I called out into the night, feeling my coworkers right behind me. Kaneki glared at me.

"Let me eat her! She needs to pay! I need to make her feel what I felt! I'm starving!"

"Kaneki.. let her-"

Just as the girl began to run while he was distracted with me, supposedly, I wasn't enough of a distraction.

Right before my eyes.. the girl was eaten mercilessly.. by what I used to call my friend.

And I knew.. it wasn't Kaneki anymore. Kaneki was long gone.

I'd never seen someone eat so.. gorily. Blood splatted everywhere, on the floor, on the monster that was formally known as Kaneki, and yet he ate it all up.

By the end of the malicious murder, his clothes were sloppery with his own saliva, along with his surroundings.

"You know.. I think I could eat others.." he turned toward me. "Tou-ka-chan~" I could practically hear his creepy grin beyond his mask, "Nishiki-kun~ I CAN'T HOLD BACK ANYMORE- I WANT MORE!" Kaneki thrusted himself towards us, his kagune sprouting out of his back.

And another thing I never thought would happen..

We were fighting Kaneki.

Kaneki's P.O.V.

Tas..ke..te... da..re..ka..

"No one's here to hear your thoughts, Kaneki."

Drool poured down from my mouth, and the man only wiped it off with his thumb and licked it off. I should've run out of tears by now, but they were still running like rivers. I heard the centipetes in my ears, even though I was pretty sure there were none.

I was too tormented..

I'd been so hurt..

I continuously tried to count down from 1000 by sevens, but the pain.. the pain was too much. It was unbearable.

That spiky tentacle was in my arse. The other was down my throat. Both hurt like heck.

And all I wanted.. was help.

Touka-chan, Nishiki-kun, Hide, even Rize-san, I'd take! Anyone, as long as they'd help me!

It hurt...! It hurt so badly...!

"If it hurts, make me stop."

All I wanted... All I wanted... All I..

Touka's P.O.V.

In the middle of the fight, Kaneki froze and fell to the ground, sobbing. He cried desperately, asking for help..

"Kaneki! Kaneki, are you alright?!" I ran over. The others warned me about getting too close, but it seemed like Kaneki was in control..

Or so I convinced myself.

Kaneki roared as his back bent. A roar of such agony. Such agony that I would never understand.

I would never know such pain.. Whatever pain he's feeling, whatever agony, there's no way I could ever feel such an extent..

But right after his loud roar, he quickly resumed attacking, and I barely got out alive.

My arm was now scathed though..

Kaneki.. what's wrong with you?!

Kaneki's P.O.V.

The spiky tentacle pounded my arse again and again. The spikes attacked every nick and corner. My butt was definitely a bloody mess. The spikes poked and prodded. They were torn in and out, resulting in scratches, stabs, and way more, I'm sure.

Then there was the other, the one in my mouth. It was destroying my throat. It was tearing it. It was doing the same thing as the other, only in my throat. My throat was an absolute mess. I was gagging and choking, and I was very near to puking, if I was able. I kept on gulping down new blood.

It was horrible..

"If it's horrible, stop me."

Tas..ke..te..

"Help yourself."

Da..re..ka?

"No one's here."

I wasn't sure.. if it was him.. or me anymore. I didn't.. I couldn't see the difference between our voices anymore..

We really were similar.

Hide's P.O.V.

I couldn't sleep. Something was off.. I had a really bad feeling..

But I had no idea what it was..

I sighed, getting up.

I guess I'll take a walk..

Touka's P.O.V.

Kaneki had gotten tough. Even with the boss and Nishiki, we were no match. The devil apes and black hounds came to help out.

We were finally able to subdue Kaneki. He was unconscious, finally, but he struggled, even in his sleep.

Whew...

What.. was that?

Kaneki's P.O.V.

Centi..pete. Nine hundred.. ninety.. three. Blo..od.. Tenta..cle. Spi..ke. Thro..at. A**..

Will it.. ever.. end?

Nine.. hundred.. no.. yes.. eighty.. eighty..

GURGH!

Ah.. ah..

Tenta.. Tenta.. CLE! GURGH!

DOWN! DOWN, DOWN, DOWN! TOO DEEP! TOO DEEP, TOO DEEP, TOO DEEP! ITAI! ITAI! THRO- AGH!

"If you want me to stop.. you have to fight."

STOP..! PLEASE..! UGH..!

AHHH..

Huff. Huff. Pant. Pant.

I can't.. breathe.

"Kaneki, this isn't the real world. Anything you want, you can make."

Can't.. breathe. Can't..

"... Your eyes got faded.. You already went to sleep, Kaneki..?"

Touka's P.O.V.

"Nine.. yes.. no.. tenta.. TENTACLE! AGH! DOWN! DOWN, DOWN! TOO DEEP! HURTS!"

Kaneki was gasping and struggling in his sleep, and then he just went.. dead. He stopped.. He stopped moving..!

Split Personality/SP's P.O.V.

Ahh.. how am I supposed to deal with this..? If he thinks he can't breathe..

"Kaneki, calm down. You CAN breathe. This is your mind. Anything you want, you can think up," I talked to the lifeless body in my kagune.

That idiot..

I've honestly been waiting SOOO long to touch him, taste him, all that, and now he thinks he's suffocating..

I guess I'll have to fix some things.. Hopefully, I'll be able.

Using the control I had over Kaneki's mind, I produced air into his lungs. He gasped over the tentacle, and I continued pounding him with my tentacles.

Touka's P.O.V.

Kaneki suddenly gasped and groaned.

"Kaneki?! Kaneki, what's wrong?!"

"Well, let's try to piece things together," Nishiki suggested, "He's been talking in his sleep. He said nine, yes, no, tentacle, down, too deep, and hurts, right? Those were the words he said in his sleep. So he must be having a nightmare. Something- I'm guessing a tentacle- is too deep into something, hurting him."

"What about the yes? The no? Nine?" the idiot ape asked.

"Maybe he's conflicted?" I guessed.

"The nine?" Nishiki brought up the rest of the ape's question.

"Who knows.."

So he's having a nightmare.. but..

"!"

H-He's peeing?!

Kaneki's pants slowly got wetter and wetter. The girls in the room blushed and looked away while the men looked away out of horror.

"Wait.." Nishiki blinked. He glanced back at Kaneki and turned back. "... Guys, don't look," he stated and began UNZIPPING KANEKI'S PANTS! "... Guys.. he's not peeing.."

"What?" I snapped, almost making the mistake of turning around.

"The liquid.. is coming out of his genitals, that's for sure, but most of it.. is coming from his arse.. Earlier.. Kaneki said something was too deep, hurting him.. A tentacle, we assumed.."

"What are you implying?!" I growled, "What does that have to do with this?!"

"... Well.. I mean, if Kaneki.. if those tentacles.. were in his.. butt.." Nishiki said the word fouly, as if he'd never said it before, "Then.. wouldn't it be possib- Wait a second!"

"?"

"He's BLEEDING!"

"?!"

"His butt's a bloody mess! A massacure! It's all torn! Worse than that girl he ate earlier!"

WHAT..?! I accidently turned around. I puked at the sight.

It certainly was bad..

You couldn't even recognize it as a butt. Much less could you find the hole.

We were totally oblivious.. of the fact that Kaneki's blood had been soaking the bed..

Knock. Knock.

"!"

"Touka-chan, can you get that?" the boss asked me. I walked over and opened the door.

"Sorry, we're clo-" my eyes widened upon recognizing the kid.

It was Kaneki's best friend.. Hide.

There is no way we can let him see Kaneki like this..!

"Um.. hi. Do you guys possibly know.. where Kaneki is?" he rubbed his neck nervously with an awkward smile. He wasn't the goofy, energetic kid he usually was. He seemed worried..

"Uh.."

"Hi.. de. ..Tou..ka."

"!" Hide tried to look beyond me.

"Ka..san.. Da..re..ka.. Tas.. ke.. !" Kaneki gasped out once more and flailed. Nishiki, the boss, and the ape held him down. "ANYONE! ANYONE, PLEASE HELP! I'D EVEN TAKE RIZE-SAN OR YAMORI-SAN, JUST PLEASE HELP ME!" he screamed out in agony before panting back to his unmoving state.

But it was enough to make Hide know Kaneki was here. Way more than enough..

"Kaneki!" he tried to get past me, "Kaneki, daijoubu?! What have you done?!" he turned to me with glaring eyes.

"I didn't do anythi-" I began to defend myself, but the boss stopped me.

"Come on in. You're a friend of Kaneki's, correct?"

"..." Hide nodded.

"Wha- Sir!"

"Touka-chan," he turned to me, "We have nothing against him. We have no reason to keep him away from Kaneki, either. It's his choice."

"..." I gritted my teeth and shifted my eyes toward Hide once more, "Be prepared.. It's not a nice sight.."

After that, I went up to my room.

Kaneki's P.O.V.

It hurt.. Everywhere. Everywhere..

Right?

1000-7.. 993.. right?

Right?

Right?!

Nee, am I right?!

Hide's P.O.V.

I knew something was wrong..!

After Touka left, I turned my eyes to Kaneki, and I.. I honestly wish I hadn't.

My eyes went wide, and my body went cold.

If only.. I'd gotten here sooner, maybe..?

He had been rolled to his stomach. Everyone from the coffee shop was huddled around him. His pants and underwear were pulled down to his knees. His butt was a bloody mess. Rips and tears everywhere.. Tears streamed endlessly from his tightly shut eyes. He was on a bed, but the bed was soaked in blood.

HIS OWN BLOOD.

"Wh-What happe- What happened to him?!"

"We don't know," Senpai explained, "He seems to be in a really bad nightmare. Who knows what's going on though. !"

"?"

"Maybe you'll know a little more. You're his childhood friend, right?"

"? .. Yes.."

"Kaneki's been talking in his sleep. He said the words you heard, and before that, he'd said 'nine, yes, no, tentacle, down, too deep, and hurts'. Do those mean anything to you?"

All of them did. All except one.

But I couldn't tell all I knew.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I know any more than you," I said honestly. He seemed dissapointed.

"You don't know what 'nine' meant?" I shook my head. "There really isn't any significance with that number that you know?"

"No.."

Senpai sighed, but the old man stepped in.

"Kaneki knows Yamori," he stated. It was a simple sentence- only three words - but it meant a lot.

Yamori. The man who had supposedly been under custody of a sick and messed up detective.. His fingers and toes were cut off, centipetes put in his ears, and he got the habits - and sick sense - of his tormentor.. Yamori supposedly made a new personality to be able to handle the torture he endured. But when Yamori got out, that personality was still there..

Kaneki knows Yamori. When did they meet then? What happened?

"Wait, the day Yamori was killed," I realized, "Wasn't that the day.. the day Kaneki went ove-" I stopped myself. "... The day he kinda.. vanished?" I reworded.

They can't know.. They can't know that I know...

"You know, I think it was.." Senpai realized. "After that, Kaneki wasn't.. he just wasn't himself.. at least, that's what I heard.." he looked up, as if looking at where Touka was.

I guess she's the only one to have seen him before tonight but after he joined Aogiri..

"Auh.." I looked at my friend who was cringing in agony.

Kaneki.. what on earth happened to you..?

Kaneki's P.O.V.

Insan..ity. Insan..ity. Invade.. Invade.. Taken.. No.. more..

Centi..pete. Centi..pete.

I began laughing hysterically without my logic.

T-Toes.. Toes.. on the.. bench..

My fault.. My fault..

BOTH.. DIE..

CHOOSE! CHOOSE!

Centi..PETE!

I..tai!

Itai!

Fingers.. cut off.

Fingers.. snapp-ing.

The sound.. of cracks.. Crack. Crack.. Crack..

Cal..ming.

I'm.. alive..

I'm.. sane.

Crack.. Crack.. Crack..

Need to.. hear that.. crack.. crack.. crack..

"Kaneki.."

I tried to crack my fingers, but I heard no crack. I screamed out in agony.

I'M INSANE! I'M INSANE! MY EARS! THEY DON'T WORK! I CAN'T HEAR! I'M DEAD! DEAD! THAT CRACK! THAT CRACK, CRACK, _C_R_A_C_K_!

"Kaneki, calm down..! You're fine. Absolutely fine. You just can't crack your fingers."

"..." My eyes shifted over to the man before me- the man who mirrored me, only with white hair, and cold, lonely eyes..

But.. it keeps me.. sane.. Proof.. Proof that I'm..

SANE!

SANESANESANESANESANEINSANE! SANE! NEED! SANE!

"Calm down, Kaneki!" he said more sternly, "Your fingers are bound by my kagune, remember? Your whole hand. That's why you can't crack your fingers."

Oh.. right...

My back's tense, awkward, broken position became normal. Instead of it being arched back, it was slightly hunched.

"You have other ways to keep yourself sane. And trust me," he smiled, a little warm coming into his eyes.. "You're sane."

"I'm.. sane?"

"Auh.. I'll tell you when you're not, alright? It's a deal."

I'm.. sane..

I smiled.

I'm sane!

I'MSANEI'MSANEI'MSANEI'MSANEI'MSANE!

Sane..

My mind fogging, hazing, the man suddenly began pounding me again..

"UGH! GURGH!"

I'd forgotten.. all that was.. there..

"Do you want to go to the next phase? Or should I wait for you to cum?"

"STOP! PLEASE STOP!"

"Alright then.."

The tentacles receeded, and I finally got a break..

For five seconds..

I was dragged over to him. He put me on the floor, face down, and he stepped on my backside.

"What should I do now, hm..?" he questioned as if it was a normal question, not sadistic at all.. "Nee, Kaneki.." He waited three seconds before he stomped on my backside, making me screech out. "I said 'Nee, Kaneki..'" he repeated.

I squeaked out, "Y-Yes..?"

"Good boy. Respond when your master addresses you. Now," I felt wind whirl around me, and cotton begin to form.. "What's your favorite author?"

Why does.. he want to know..? Shouldn't.. he already..

I squeaked once more as he stomped my backside again..

"I asked you a question, Neko Kaneki.."

Neko...?

I looked sluggishly and exhaustingly towards myself. I was in a revealing maid suit with a.. with a.. tail sprouting out of my anus..

Wh..What..?