Alfred whistled happily as he exited his garage, a bucket full of soapy water swinging from one hand and a sponge clutched in the other. This was one of his favorite days of the week, it was second only to video game night and all-you-can-eat-buffet night. Today was car pampering day!
Yes sir, Alfred took his car's care very seriously. Liberty, as he so fondly called it, only deserved the best of the best in his eyes. Sure, he may not have a girlfriend on account of showering more love and attention on his vehicle than a living, breathing woman, but Alfred also knew that his beloved car wouldn't dump him because he wore Star Trek uniforms to work. (He didn't do it often, but when he did he got all sorts of interesting feedback!)
Setting down the bucket of water, Alfred sauntered over to his front yard hose. Turning the water on to a lazy flow, he picked up the metal nozzle and started to spray down his car. Walking around the car so as to get every outside inch of it wet, he marveled silently at how the red paint gleamed brightly in the sun; amplified by the coating of water droplets on its surface.
Letting the hose drop to the ground, he took up the sponge and dropped it into the bucket. Squeezing excess water out of the soft sponge, he began to lather his car lovingly in the soapy concoction. He got into every little crevice, making sure to not leave anything unscrubbed. After rinsing the red vehicle off and drying it, he proclaimed loudly, "It's great to be American!"