Quantum Scrambled Eggs – One Year Later
Dedication: To my friend Shroud, who is a good guy to talk comics with; Peter David, for his writing on the [first] Young Justice comic-book; and Zod who is a good, if somewhat angry, cat.
Disclaimer: I don't actually own the characters herein, except Joey… but that's only because he's a self-insert. Oh, and a lot of the events are taken from their respective shows, except for the ones that aren't.
Apologies: I'm sorry that there's a break between QSE and here, two important things happen in between arc 2 and here: 1) Joey leaps into Ranma and attains the Jusenkyo-curse (which follows him); and 2) Joey regains [most of] the memories lost by leaping rather suddenly, hence the shift from referring to the character to referring to 'Joey' in internal-thought and descriptions.
I actually had the arc after Sliders virtually done, the Ranma ½ Arc… and my computer hard-drive crashed. But it's ok! I'm a computer scientist, so I had a backup, on an SD card… which I lost. [Arg!]
Thanks for understanding, and I hope you find this romp enjoyable.
[04 Jul 10 – Unknown Time]
"Oh crap!" Joey exclaimed, seeing a heavyset door closing right in front of him as he was running.
He tried to stop, but there wasn't enough time, or space, to keep himself from slamming into the now-sealed metal bulkhead. With a wince inducing *wham* the efforts became a moot point, and the world flipped about for a few moments before Joey landed on his back slightly dazed and staring at the ceiling.
"We're cut off from the street." someone in a white body-suit growled as he half-marched/half-stalked past, closely followed by two others running behind him.
The one in the body-suit and one of the two following him jammed their hands into the door's seams and tried to force it open. That was some serious strength right there, Joey noted as he picked himself up off the floor.
The last of the trio was wearing a mask, his face illuminated by the glow of light from a holographic projected screen coming from his glove… and he was wearing a cape, black on the outside gold on the inside, along with the red tunic, multi-pouched belt, and black pants. So odd, so tip-of-the-brain familiar that 'déjà vu' was an understatement.
"Can't hack this fast enough." The oddly familiar one said, starting into a run down a side corridor.
At the cue, the other two abandoned trying to force the door and followed suit running past Joey, as they did he took further note. The first was a male, brown-skinned, lean-build wearing a sleeveless red shirt which exposed thick winding tattoos about his arms. The one in the white body-suit had an eye-catching diamond circumscribing an 'S', both red, prominently on the chest, black hair, and a scowl that looked fairly permanent.
Joey blinked as something came to mind: Superman. Though that wasn't any Superman costume he'd ever seen… and Superman would easily be able to get through that bulkhead: as a combination of heat-vision, to weaken the metal, and super-strength would provide that. Joey dismissed the absurd idea that the young scowling man was Superman; probably just a fanboy or something… though that pulling-at-the-door thing was a very impressive display of strength.
'Oh crap! I'm going to be left behind.' Joey thought as he started into a run, overshooting the doorway in an instant… though the whole experience was odd because everything seemed to blur past at insane speed, and yet he could see and think about what he was doing. Reversing direction, almost falling, and mostly scrambling Joey made it to the door and through it just in time to face up against a wall of gray creatures with red eyes… and teeth, though those were white, not red.
The creatures were apparently being led by a man in a golden helmet wearing, it was hard to tell in this poor light, black body-armor. There was a small one of the gray creatures perched on his shoulder and for a minute Joey was tempted to make a lame "Polly want a cracker?"joke.
There was a pounding down the hall, to the side of the living wall and, as Joey turned to see what it was, the world again turned funny, slowing down but not in the way Joey was used to where the body was still bound to that slow time. There were several of the big gray creatures pounding down the hallway closing them off, accompanied by some of the more man-sized creatures. There were obviously different types of these creatures, ranging from something that looked like a gorilla-elephant to the small monkey-frog-imp things. And then the world dimmed to black, as if there was a wet blanket smothering consciousness.
And then the blanket was being lifted. Was it a full loss of consciousness? How much time had passed? What had happened in that time? The thoughts were disturbing, but interrupted by a voice, saying something profound, important, and profoundly important.
"I choose freedom." the voice said with a stubborn determination.
A heartbeat or two passed as Joey pulled himself off the ground again. Some small part of his brain laughingly bet that he was going to find himself on the floor more often than he'd like in this body.
The man in body-armor muttered something, and one of the three asked "Guardian?"
"Go. I'll take care of Desmond." Guardian, the man in body-armor, replied.
"I think not." Came a voice from behind the wall of gray flesh, which began parting as soon as the first word was uttered, and a man in a lab-coat strode down the hallway. "Project blockbuster will give me the power to restore order to Cadmus."
The scientist produced a test-tube of glowing neon-blue liquid and drank it, instantly doubling over in pain. 'Which is unsurprising,' Joey thought, 'it never pays to drink test-tubes full of glowing liquid.'
Then, just as suddenly, the lab-coat and other clothing burst as he suddenly grew bulky muscles… which kept growing until it burst his skin as well, leaving a tattered cowl and strips of skin flapping, revealing a giant blue-grey muscle-monster underneath.
"I am unsurprised." Joey said dryly, instants before the former-scientist stood up and bellowed.
"Everyone, back!" Guardian said, placing himself between them and the monster before starting in on a charge… which ended in a nice back-hand from the monster.
White-suit immediately leapt into action trading a few blows before being swatted back; a minor setback, apparently, as he leapt into the air to give the monster a few more hits.
The monster, roared again and leapt into the air as well, intercepting the young man in white, and kept on going, ignoring insignificant things like ceilings.
"That's one way to bust through the ceiling." The one in the cape observed , pulling something out of his belt, aiming it at the hole, and firing a rope up through the hole.
"Come, we should help him." Red-tunic said, as he leapt out the hole, an impressive feat normally, but not uncommon back in Nerima where martial-artists would hop along rooftops as a shortcut and keep private property damages down… not that they were very successful on that last point.
Joey tried to match the jump, he'd done it before after all, and failed miserably as his hands came within maybe six-feet of the hole as he hit the wall.
"K.F., what's going on?" The cape-wearing one asked, pausing in his assent.
"Oh, nothing, just trying to jump out a hole that's out of my reach." Joey replied, trying to spin it as a joke and sound nonchalant at the same time.
"Ah, not enough space." The cape-wearing boy replied, descending slightly, "Ok, grab my belt."
'You know, it'd be nice to get their names… not have to refer to them as "white body-suit", "red-tunic", and "cape-boy"' thought Joey as he made the ascent, 'Of course, it'd also be nice to know my own name on this world. What was it he called me? K.F. maybe that's Kent Fox, or Kyle Faust, or Klaude Firefistedhamson… although that last one might be a bit improbable.'
The two reached the top just in time to see the first two fly in a wide, lazy arc across the room, which appeared to be a ground-level lobby of some sort. It may have been a nice office building or something similar some time before; as it was now, a smell of smoke permeated the air and the carpet squished soggily underfoot.
Joey ran over to help them up, time starting to blur again before fading back to normal just in time to help the white-suited one up. Whatever this was he was getting used to it.
"Do we have a plan?" Joey asked, just as the monster roared.
"Hit him." White-suit said, regaining his feet, "Hard."
Joey resisted an urge to sigh; the answer was akin to someone saying 'food' in response to the question 'what would you like to eat?' The metaphor probably popped into his head so easily because he was getting a little hungry.
In any case, the plan needed something a little more complex than head-on attack; as the previous battering had shown.
"Ok, then I'll provide a distraction." Joey said, zooming in a wide arc across the room to the side, and slightly behind, the creature. Squatting down on his haunches, Joey put his hands to his shoulders and flapped his arms like wings, as any startled waterfowl would do, and yelled "Wack! Wack! Wack!"
• • • • • • • • • • •
"Wait, what…" Robin said, blinking in surprise at Kid Flash's antics, "is he doing?"
"Providing a distraction." Aqualad answered quietly before launching himself into motion at the blockbuster-monster as its attention was drawn to the noisy kid in bright yellow.
Superboy followed suit and launched himself into a powerful jump-boosted flying-punch that hit more or less the same time as Aqualad's blow came down.
Robin pulled out a pair of his exploding baterangs, waiting a moment until a good opening presented itself and let them fly… but the blockbuster-monster saw them coming and batted them away. Still observing though, Robin noticed that the sharpened edges had done nothing to the monster's thick hide, even though the angle he intercepted the baterangs with should have cut quite nicely. It was quickly becoming obvious that another tactic would be needed; but what?
At that point Aqualad had drawn his weapons, water-bearers, and formed them into maces and was starting to take turns with Superboy, alternately striking the monster and dodging past to avoid a counter-blow.
Despite the beating it was taking the monster wasn't even phased or showing any sign of weariness, as evidenced by the loud roar it gave off and the subsequent downward-smash catching Superboy head-on and raised his leg to place a follow-up stomp.
That's when Robin saw Kid Flash blur into action again, intent on scooping the dazed Superboy out of the danger. Superboy might be tough, but he wasn't a duplicate of Superman as his lack of flight showed.
The monster then showed some extreme coordination, speed, and – for a monster that size – manual dexterity by plucking Kid Flash from his path to save Superboy and tossing him, forcefully, into Aqualad. The pair went sailing into one of the lobby's support beams knocking the breath from Aqualad, first from this impact on the pillar, and second from Kid Flash impacting him.
'That's it!' Robin thought to himself, realizing what they could do to end the fight: bring the house down on it. 'Well, I hope it works; but if it doesn't, it'll at least buy us time to regroup and assess the situation.'
"K.F., Get over here!" Robin called, only to have his friend appear by his side an instant later.
"What is it?"Kid Flash said, sliding to a halt and almost running into Robin on the wet carpet.
"We're going to bring the building down on this guy." Robin said, "I need you to distract him while we place charges to knock the supports out… try to get him out to the center of the room. Got it?"
"Got it." Joey said, easing into his super-speed; it was getting easier, but getting fine-control was obviously going to take some practice.
He jumped up as he ran past the monster, punching him in the face and then making a grab at the nose of that tattered skin still draped over the monster's head. Stopping, and looking down, he saw that th whole thing had come away.
"I got your nose!" Joey shouted at the monster, "literally… and your face! (That's kinda gross.)"
The monster tossed Superboy aside and rushed at Kid Flash, who used his super-speed to circumvent him and get to the opposite side of the room
"Oh noes! Your nose is over here!" Joey yelled waiving the tattered remnants of face above his head.
This time Joey ran at normal speeds to meet the monster, dipping into super speed to dodge and returning to normal speeds to punch, hit, or otherwise annoy the monster. (It sure wasn't going to do anything in the way of damage to something that had just shrugged off Superboy and Aqualad's combined attacks.)
There was no way to measure time in the dodge-tweak-dodge-dance that Joey fell into, just a sense of timing that would have done his martial-arts sensei – and the closest thing to a father he'd found since he'd began this strange inter-dimensional jaunt – proud. The best way to block a blow was simply not to be there. The pattern was simple: Strike, evade; strike, evade. Simple.
"Ok, K.F., that's enough!" Robin yelled, finished setting up the explosives.
Joey broke out of his trance-like state just in time to alter his course to avoid being hit by an incoming Superboy, who struck the monster hard enough to take advantage of it overextending itself causing it to topple over; that was followed by Aqualad vaulting into a handspring off the prone monster, the instant before he landed there was a bright flash and a loud crack which coincided with a spasm wracking the monster's body.
"Let's go!" Robin yelled as he made his way out the lobby's door.
"Grab my hands!" Joey yelled just before he made the door, just before readying a dose of speed; Aqualad and Superboy did so, probably because of the assertiveness more than anything else, while a quick look showed Robin had already pulled out his grapnel which was pulling him away even as he thumbed the detonation switch. Joey grabbed the hands as hard as he could and pushed himself to go fast…
An instant later the concessive blast was felt through the ground, followed immediately by the impacts of the building imploding. That last bit of distance was good thing as a few chunks of debris fell only a dozen feet away from where they half-skidded/half-tumbled to a stop.
The group looked at the rubble of the building, several stories had collapsed onto the creature inside but it was unknown if the crushing weight would have killed it, or incapacitated it, or if it would eventually tear itself free and rampage again. Each of the loose team surveyed the rubble in the moonlight, looking for signs of movement.
After a few moments Joey looked at his companions and noticed Superboy staring, slack-jawed at something. He turned in the same direction to see what it was as he asked, "What is it?"
"The moon…" Superboy replied, obviously awed by the sight.
A human figure occulted the moon for an instant, cape flapping to the side.
"And Superman." Superboy finished, awe and respect mingling on a high plateau in his voice.
Then several other figures were revealed, blocking out the star-light surrounding the moon. An entire group of people dropping from the sky along with Superman; all of them alighting on the rubble of the building. An interesting tactic, as it projected both authority and superiority, by the whole Justice league… except for one, in a red suit which looked more black in the low light, who came quickly running from some faraway point and stopped at ground level off to the side but still part of the group.
Superman, at the forefront, looked down at the four for several minutes. Joey got the feeling that each of them felt like he was the particular focus of his gaze; given how each shifted in their stances… even himself.
"You have some explaining to do." Superman said, in a calm but strong voice.
"Start talking." Said Batman, who seemed to suddenly be there. Joey hadn't ever noticed him, and he was standing just a few paces away from Superman.
So, they did; well the rest of the team did. Joey kept his mouth shut and listened to the story to catch himself up on how he'd gotten to be in the whole predicament. It all came out: how they'd gone to help with the fire at Cadmus, and then investigated and found the underground portions of the facility. How they then found Superboy, Superman's clone, and the Guardian, and the block-buster monster who was still under the rubble.
After the debriefing the justice League broke into groups handling different things. Green Lanterns dug the monster out of the rubble and carted him away with a few of the Leaguers accompanying them, though whether for security or just company was unclear. Superman, Batman, Martian Manhunter, and Wonder Woman all clustered together, presumably to discuss the fate of Robin and the rest of the sidekicks.
"Cadmus will be investigated; all 52 levels. " Batman said, as he approached the team, Flash and Aqua-man taking up wing-man positions, "but let's make one thing clear…"
"You should have called." Flash interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"End results aside," Batman turned his head and gave him a glare, before returning his attention to the sidekicks, "we are not happy. You hacked Justice League systems, disobeyed direct orders, and endangered lives. You will not be doing this again."
A few moments passed before Aqualad stepped forward, "I am sorry; we will."
"Stand down, Aqualad." Aquaman commanded, obviously disturbed at the lack of deference shown to Batman.
"Apologies, my king, but no." Aqualad replied, "We did good work here tonight; the work you trained us to do. Together, on our own, we forged something powerful and… important."
"If this is about your treatment at the hall," Flash cut in, "the three of you"
"Four." Joey held up a hand to indicate the number.
"Batman, we're ready to use what you taught us, or why teach us at all?" Robin broke in, taking up the appeal.
"It's simple: get onboard or get out of our way!" Superboy exclaimed angrily, "Why should we listen to them anyway?"
"Because they are our legitimate authorities…" Joey broke in, this could very easily go the wrong way, "We didn't come here to be insubordinate, but to show initiative. Like Robin said: we apprentice, not to stay apprentices but to become like our masters… Don't you get it: we wanted to make you proud."
Barman stared at Joey for a moment, eyes narrowing as if to see through him… It was an uncomfortable feeling, did he have bat-ray vision or something? … or is that just another name for sonar?
"Right." And with that Batman turned away.
That was a relief for Joey, he realized as he started breathing again, but he also noticed something like a smile on the Flash's face which was mirrored by Aquaman's pronouncement of "Well spoken lad." as he laid an encouraging hand on Joey's shoulder.
A few minutes later Joey found himself with the rest of the team, wondering what was going to happen. Joey was rather uncomfortable with the whole situation; he didn't fit here. 'Heh! Like I really fit anywhere.' But he was right, this was a world of not just heros, but super-heroes…
"Guys, we do have a couple of problems." Joey Said.
"What problems?" Aqualad asked, wondering what was on Kid Flash's mind.
"Well, the two that I see are these…" Joey pointed at Superboy, "First one, where's he staying? He can't stay out here."
"And the second?" Aqualad prompted.
Joey found himself mentally sweating as his mind raced, 'I can't keep things completely secret, not with my bumbling with trying to learn these 'new' powers, trying to discover this guy's life, and live it, on the fly… especially since I'm bound to have two to pick up: the super-hero and the 'secret-identity.' How much do I dare tell them? How much not-telling would hurt their trust in this K.F. guy?' Joey imagined that conversation would not go well no matter how well-hidden the line "I'm an inter-dimensional spook, possessing your comrade, but don't worry I'm non-hostile! Oh, by-the-by, I also turn into a girl when doused with cold water." happened to be… he paused the mental image for a moment before adding a mental "Tee-hee!"
"Well the other is, we've just been through several psychic attacks, put to sleep psychically, and 'podded' for some length of time…"
"It was eighteen minutes." Robin said, breaking in, "I checked the time when we were released."
Joey hoped they'd buy the bogus explanation for his future eccentricities. "Are we sure that they didn't screw with our heads?"
"He has a point." Robin said, "But wouldn't the League have screened us?"
"Maybe, or maybe it just didn't cross their minds," Aqualad said, then turned to address Kid Flash, "If it troubles you we could ask someone like Martian Manhanter for assistance."
"No! How would that look?"Joey began protesting, "First off we say 'we're trained enough to handle things,' followed by 'oh, can you look in our heads because we screwed up and got caught?' Don't you think that would undo everything we just did here? That and I don't want Batman staring at me like that again."
"In any case, we still need to decide where Superboy will be staying." Aqualad said, "My residence is… unsuitable for him."
"Like I said before, the Bat-cave's crowded enough." Robin replied.
"So, my place then?" Joey half-asked, "I hope the folks won't mind."