As the hot water poured onto my body, I decided to switch it to cold, just in case Lysander was in the mood for hot water. Cleaning myself, trying to wipe away the mud from earlier, washing it off with pineapple scented soap and water, I heard humming. A mental image appeared in my head, Lysander on the windowsill, listening to music. Smirking inwardly, I continued to wash myself. Then I started to listen to the humming carefully. It was Anna Nalick/ Breathe(2AM). It didn't sound like something Ly would listen to, but I decided to hum to it too, since I had the song stuck in the back of my head.
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
Whoa breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
Copyright of Anna Nalick-Breathe (2AM)
After the song in my head finished, I released myself of thought, only focusing on cleaning myself. After I was done and got into fresh clean clothes, I stuffed my dirty clothes, not including my leather jacket since I didn't take that outside today, in the hamper.
Afterwards, I left the bathroom, leaving my towel to hang on the rail, my toothbrush on the sink counter, and placed on my leather jacket. Ly rushed into the bathroom, but before doing so landed a soft kiss on my cheek and slammed the door. Sighing, I went over to the windowsill, which happened to be one of my favorite places now. Surprised that it had only been a day since I came here, I leaned on the wall of the windowsill, my headphones on as I opened my play list on my cell phone. Wanting to listen to something calming, I found Sia/ Breathe Me. It doesn't have that many words to it, which makes it easy to remember. As the words bounced in my head, I hummed to the song as Ly had hummed to his.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
I Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Copyright of Sia-Breathe Me
After I was done, I realized I had sung the whole song instead of humming it. Blushing inwardly, I placed the song on repeat, so I could hear it again. And yet again I sang to it, only to find Ly staring right at me after the song was finished. Unemotional at the moment, I just stared back at him, waiting for him to do something, anything actually.
He had a towel wrapped around his waist, showing me his firm abs and his sleek wet chest. Realizing about what I was thinking, I faced my head towards the window, my blush growing redder than before.
"Thinking dirty thought lover boy?" Ly asked me.
"Only of you love." I said, only to hear him chuckle.
"Since when did you call me that?"
"Since I've known you, though most of the time I would keep that to myself." I said, then it suddenly hit me that I admitted that I liked him from the beginning. Contradicting what I told him earlier when he confessed his feeling for me.
"Oh, so you lie too huh?" Ly asked, his voice giving off obvious hints.
"I didn't want to scare you away." I stated, still staring at the window, feeling Ly's gaze on me.
"How can you scare me away huh? I'm a necromancer, remember?"
"Oh, how can I forget." I said, rolling my eyes as I continued to listen to the song.
Then I realized something. He could kiss me at any moment. And he did. He stepped up towards me, and as I sharply took some air, he kissed me. His lips soothly against mine, moving, just moving. Closing my eyes, because for some reason, it seemed like the right thing to do. I just let him kiss me, soothly, with no depth. I didn't respond, because I wasn't ready, raging a war in my body. His lips separated from mine, as I opened my eyes. Those dark eyes held something I didn't see earlier, but what could it have been? Was it . . . sadness?
"Hn." was all he said. His nose was close to mine, waiting for me to do something. Here goes nothing . . .
"Ly?" I asked silently. He didn't respond to me, looking deep into my eyes. I was about to say his name again, just in case he hadn't heard me, until he answered . . .
"Listening." he said quietly, holding back his tears. He didn't want to show her how sad he was that he didn't answer to his call . . .
"I'm sorry, it's just that, my dad's been on my case lately."
"About being gay?"
"No, not that. Well, maybe. I guess. I don't know."
"Can't you forget about him. I'm with you now." Ly said, gripping mu shoulder as he sat down on the windowsill with me. Before I knew it, tears leaked from my eyes, and my tears became more frequent as I sobbed quietly.
"Shh, don't cry." Ly said as he held me in his arms, my face against his chest.
"Things will be alright." I said, trying to stop Ly from worrying about me.
"But I don't want him to hurt you anymore."
"And he won't."
"How do you know?"
"I'll try to work things out with him."
"And if it doesn't work?"
"Then I'll kiss you so hard in front of him till he realizes he's wrong."
That statement caused Ly to laugh, really hard, almost until his towel almost dropped.
"Oops, wouldn't want that happening."
"Only Ly." I said, shaking my head. Sometimes, I wonder what might happen . . .