Shot in the Dark
by Autumn Fire Spirit
For Jessica
Jocelyn was sitting on a sofa. She was not usually up this late, especially on Monday mornings, when Clary had to attend school. But last night she found it hard to get into sleep as something was troubling her mind, or more likely, someone.
It was a good morning in New York, but Jocelyn was not in the mood to notice the beauty of mother nature. Luke left her doorstep just twenty minutes ago after a bitter argue. She sighs a little, for the past decade they had been arguing almost frequently after the same topic – Valentine.
"She deserves to know." Luke often said, but Jocelyn never stopped protesting. She was only trying to protect her only child (the only one that was perfectly normal and untainted, at least). Luke had never been a mother, how would he understand her feelings?
She rubs her temple, feeling a headache approaching. Then a sound when off in the kitchen and Jocelyn knew her coffee was ready, as well as Clary's lunch. She stood and walks into the kitchen, placing the dishes on their small, rounded dining table. Then she took her coffee and returned to the living room to her seat on the sofa.
Jocelyn never really liked the life she had in New York, she preferred her times in Idris, the City of Glass, back when she was with Valentine….
No, you cannot go there again.
But at this moment, her heart had taken control over her mind. Valentine was the only one reason that she kept refusing Luke's proposal, not that he didn't knew, but simply the old werewolf thought that he did not knew. He was lying not only to her, but to himself. And Jocelyn felt sorry.
The clock struck two in the afternoon and there was a squeaky noise. Not from the clock, but from the door. Jocelyn force a smile on her lips, Clary must have returned. Eyes still on her cup of coffee, she calls out to her. "Welcome home, Clary sweetie. Lunch is in the kit—"
She paused when the sound of footsteps clicking on the floor was heard. It was loud and heavy, and impossible to have belonged to a light, small-footed Clarissa.
"I have forgotten to oil the door again." A voice said in a guilty tone, and then it was followed by a soft chuckle. "I will get to it when I can. We don't want Jonathan to hurt himself on those rusty hinges. He seems to be having fun out in the garden."
Jocelyn immediately spun around, hastily placing the coffee on the table, disregarding that a few drops had been spilt to the ground. She would not have been so surprised if Luke returns for an apology, but nothing in any number of years could prepare her for the person that was standing by the door. "What are you doing here?"
"Why, you are my wife. Isn't home where I am supposed to return after a day of work?" Valentine answered her question with another, his face unusually confused.
Jocelyn looks around. "Where are we?" She swore she remembered waking up in New York. But as she glances around, the environment was completely different from her house in New York.
"The Fairchild manor of course. Where else?" says Valentine.
"I…" Jocelyn stood up, for a moment she couldn't believe it were true. Her old days were back, Valentine was here with her and Jonathan, and nothing of what she thought of had happened.
"I've missed you." Jocelyn tears up and ran forward into his arms.
Valentine laughs good-naturedly. "You act as though you have not seen me for a decade."
"More than that, sixteen actually." She teased and snuggled against his chest. She have craved for this feeling for so long, to feel his hands around her once more. Even Luke cannot give her the feeling she had when she was with Valentine.
Valentine lifted her away from his chest and it made Jocelyn disappointed. She felt hollow at the absence of his touch. "It must be your pregnancy getting to you, and you are not even halfway past your first trimester." Valentine laughs again, planting a kiss on her forehead.
Jocelyn was taken aback. "I'm pregnant?"
At her reaction, Valentine's eyebrow went slack in confusion. "We went to the doctor's last week. They announce it would be a boy."
At the mention of their firstborn, that smile returned to his lips. And this time, Jocelyn did not want to pull it down again. "I'm so… happy." She said.
"What do you think of the name Jonathan?"
At his comment, Jocelyn slips from her balance. Valentine caught her just before she could hit the ground. "Careful." He purrs into her ear softly, "I do not want my wife and son to see Raziel so soon."
Jocelyn stood up quickly, brushing his hands off her. "We already have a son named Jonathan."
"No we do not, we have barely got married a month ago." Valentine frowned deeply, this time Jocelyn could not be bothered to keep his smile.
"Valentine! You just said he was out in the gardens a few minutes ago." She fumed with frustration.
"What are you talking about? Jocelyn, we have no son. This is our first."
Tear began to run down her cheek, but Valentine seems to be calm as though it was normal for her to be so. He closes up the space between them and puts a hand on her forehead. "I see the reason now why you are acting so strange. You have a fever. I told you to leave me to get Jonathan during rainy days."
"Oh, and now you know who Jonathan is?"
"Jocelyn, he is our son. You are a mother now, quit acting childish." Valentine looked a little angry now, but as quickly as it took it to be there it vanished almost instantly as he embraces her once more, squeezing her shoulders softly. "I know it is hard for you to first bare my son, now my daughter. But you have to keep your temper in."
"…daughter?" The expression on her face turns from anger into shock. "Clarissa; Clary…" She mumbles, a sudden lightning of realization hit her. It was Clary.
"You want to name her Clarissa?" Valentine frowns, "I prefer Seraphina."
"Stop it! Stay away from me!" Jocelyn pulls herself away from Valentine. Her heart pained when he saw the hurt look on his face.
"You're not real." She said bitterly, tearing stream down as she steps backward until her legs hit the glass table. The cup of coffee tumbles from the edge and fell to the ground, staining the rug a sad colour of brown. "You're not real, because you are dead. And I know because, during your funeral, I was there."
"Mom!" Clary shook her mother to her wake. She had never seen Jocelyn so frustrated, so desperate, so... sad.
Jocelyn sat up, breathing frantically. "Jonathan!" She turns to her side and saw Clary. Immediately her face betrayed disappointment.
"Mom," She began."Sebastian is not here..." She sounded hurt. "He.. he is evil. Please accept that as a truth."
"I know." Jocelyn breathe, even in the silent night she could hear her heartbeat beating rapidly.
"You were crying in your sleep," Clary explains. "Calling dad's name over and over again."
"It was just a bad dream, darling." Jocelyn reassured her daughter. But it was obvious that she was sweating: her blankets were wet, and her pillows soaked with tears. "I dream that Valentine was dying, Raziel came to put an end to his doings... and you guys were succeeded in this mission."
"Well it better be." Clary snaps, but immediately regretted when she saw the look on her mother's face. "Oh mom..." She leans forward and caught her mother in a tight hug.
Jocelyn held Clary in her arms for a few brief moments, letting her heartbeat pace down as she take into reality everything was just a dream. A wonderful dream. "I wished it was real." She whispers only loud enough for none but herself to hear, tears swelling in her eyes above an unaware Clary. "I wished I'd never woke up."
"I knew then that Jocelyn would never come back to me, because of you. You are the only thing in the world she ever loved more than she loved me. And because of that she hates me. And because of that, I hate the sight of you" - Valentine in the City of Glass.