This story is a look at Cristina's ;life after she has achieved her hopes and dreams, I hope you enjoy it, and please review its very encouraging fro me to write more,
I did not write the love scene at the end The credit goes to the very Awesome queen of fan fiction Princess Leah xxx who also beta and gave suggestions x
Cristina Yang stood on the stage, ecstatic to be finally collecting her Harper Avery award. Ten years after her first day as an intern, she was exactly were she wanted to be, one of the top cardiothoracic surgeons in the country. Since the day she had entered Seattle Grace, she had dreamed of this, and the moment was finally here.
Of course, the success and dedication it took to be standing here now had come at a price.
She hadn't seen or spoken to her now ex-husband in five years, since she had walked away.
She remembered that day as if it was yesterday, his face she would probably never forget,
The cardiothoracic fellowship offer from the Cleveland Clinic had been too good to refuse, but more importantly...she couldn't bear to deny her husband the life he wanted anymore.
She had gotten the offer after asking him to give up having children. She would have been asking him to give up even more with her fellowship; his position has chief, the firehouse he loved, being in the same area as his mother after so many years overseas…and she knew he would have hone if she asked him.
He loved her so much.
So she had been the one to leave, not wanting to ask any more or take any more of him. She had cut off all ties, had told him she needed to pursue her career without anything in the way. It had hurt him, and he had fought her every step of the way, but he had finally allowed her to give him the only thing she could, the opportunity to live his life and his dreams, and he had let her go.
Deep down, she had felt he would never be happy without his dreams of a family, so she had been the one to walk away
She had signed the divorce papers and had cut herself off from her former life in Seattle, and from the memories.
Now here she was, successful and having everything she dreamed she could as a surgeon.
**I stand here today honored and thrilled to receive this award. I have been working for this for my whole career and to stand here today, after so many years of learning and hard work and sacrifice…It's everything I could have ever wanted." She paused, debating on straying from the words she had practiced but she needed to say it, even if no one understood but her. "Some sacrifices I made were…were worth more than others." She looked out at the crowd in front of her without really seeing anyone but the face in her mind she never stopped thinking about. "I dedicate this award to someone who allowed and encouraged me to pursue my dreams and goals. I dedicate this award to Owen."
The ceremony was followed by a lavish dinner and an open bar, as well as lots of mingling which she took advantage of as she moved about the room, glass of wine in hand, accepting congratulations from those she considered esteemed colleagues, but never friends.
She had decided long ago, or more precisely five years ago, that friendships and relationships only got in the way and that her priority and focus needed to be on her career. There were sexual encounters, sure, but never anything more meaningful than that, because no one was him, none of them could ever make her feel the way he could and no one ever would again.
With that lingering thought in her mind, Cristina moved to the bar to get a refill. As she did, she spotted a tall, well-built man with his back to her, seemingly looking for someone.
She noticed, with a jolt, that the man had red hair.
For one silly moment, she thought it could be him and she kicked herself for wishful thinking before he turned around. As he noticed her, the man smiled so wide that his whole face lit up.
In response, her heart began to beat so damn fast that she thought it would explode right then and there.
He crossed the gap between them and suddenly he was standing in front of her after five years, standing there exactly as she remembered him.
"Cristina, I..." Owen started, and then instead he pulled her into a hug, with her colleagues looking on, surprised. No one was used to seeing Dr. Cristina Yang show public emotion to anything.
"Owen...you came." Her voice came out stunned. "I mean...how did you know...even Meredith doesn't know..." She tried to collect her thoughts. "It's been so long...you look..." 'Amazing' was the first word that came to her mind, but she didn't want everything she felt to spill out all at once."You don't know...I'm so happy you're here," she finally admitted, her voice a murmur now. "I never thought you would want to, after everything..."
"Shh." He put his finger to her lips. "The past is the past, all right?" He looked so happy for her as he spoke. "I came because...I'm proud of you. I've been keeping up with your career...a Harper Avery..." He removed his finger from her lips. "It's amazing. You're amazing..." He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, the moment gone. "Meredith says hi and congratulations, by the way." He paused. "And that she's still not speaking to you."
"Damn it. Meredith..." Cristina sighed, looking down. "I didn't mean to cut everyone off. It was just...easier, I guess. I kept meaning to get in touch and then I got busy...and now it's been five years..."
He nodded in understanding. "Would you like to come up to my suite so we can chat in private, away from the noise?"
She nodded and they quietly headed off to his suite. Once they entered, they sat for awhile in silence, enjoying each other's company.
Owen was the one to speak first. "Remember when I told you that I thought you were beautiful?"
She laughed, remembering those first few months of declarations and loaded exchanges. "Yeah. I do."
"I still think that, you know." He met her eyes. "I'm so happy to see you like this, Cristina, living your dreams. You deserve it. You worked so hard...you always were the best..." He grinned at her smirk. "And now you have everything you ever wanted." He looked at her and caught her somewhat sad smile."Right?"
She nodded in agreement in spite of the expression she was sure was on her face. "You don't look so bad yourself." She smiled, genuinely this time. "I hear you're doing amazing things at the hospital. Volunteering and research for veterans with PTSD?" They both exchanged smiles. "It's great, Owen."
"Thanks." They looked at one another for a moment before Owen broke the silence yet again. "So how does it feel to be living the dream?"
"Being head of cardio at the number one ranked hospital in the field? Having all the awards? Having my own procedure?" Even as she said it, a huge wave of sadness washed over her. "It's...great. Life is great."
Deep down...she knew she had it all. Still, she wasn't sure if it meant that she was happy.
She hated her dark, lonely and messy apartment. There was no one to keep her crap tidy; the fridge was always empty because there was no one there to stock it or to cook.
There were no friends. This time she was keeping herself truly closed off to avoid making and having relationships. She wasn't about to get romantically involved with anyone. There was no one who was going to get in the way this time.
This time it was all about her career.
Except...now that she was there, now that she had it all...it was all pretty lonely.
Owen couldn't help but notice the sudden shift of mood and the sadness in her eyes, but he chose to ignore it for the time being. "Let's make a toast." He took two glasses and a bottle that had been chilling in an ice bucket and poured champagne for the two of them."To Cristina Yang, Harper Avery winner and badass cardio goddess."
"Damn right." Cristina clinked her glass with his and took a sip. "How did you know I'd agree to come up and have champagne with you?"
"I didn't. I've had this for awhile." At her questioning look, he elaborated. "I bought it when we first got married. I knew one day we'd be toasting to you winning your Harper Avery." He looked melancholy for a moment."I just never realized we would be divorced when it happened."
She couldn't help but laugh. "Really? You really said that?"
He shrugged, chuckling. "I did."
"You're adorable when you're being a dork and ruining the moment." She laughed again.
He had missed her laugh.
"So tell me some gossip. It's been years since Seattle."
"Well..." He considered for a moment. "Actually, I need a head of cardio, if you're interested."
She was surprised. She had not been expecting that. "Seriously?"
He nodded, clearly not kidding. "Teddy left and we need to replace her."
"I don't know what to say." Cristina hesitated. "Can I think about it? I mean, it would be nice to go back in some ways..."
"Take all the time you need. I haven't started asking around. You would have the opportunity to use the new research facility we just built. And you could pursue your new clinical trial. You know the board would eat it up, a Harper Avery winner, so whenever you're ready."
After a moment of silence, Cristina finally succumbed to the question she could hardly bear to ask. "So...are you...um...I mean..." She swallowed. "Are you married? Do you have a wife now...kids?"
Owen looked at her as if he was surprised she would even ask. "No. I never...there have been women, but it never went anywhere." After a moment of hesitation, he took her hand. "They were never you, Cristina."
She turned away then, and tried to brush away the tears she could already feel welling up so that he wouldn't notice.
"I never understood...why did you leave, Cristina?" His voice was quiet. "I told you I let the dream of having kids go. I was ready to spend my life with you. What happened?"
By now the tears were making their way down her face, much as she tried to hold them back."I saw you with all of the kids, our godchildren, with your nieces and nephews and...I would feel so guilty, Owen." She sniffled. "I felt so bad. I felt...this man deserves to have children, he should have children. I couldn't...I couldn't get in the way of that anymore. And...I was scared that one day you would resent me for it and you would leave." She tried to clear her throat, now clogged with tears and met his eyes."So I left first." She looked away from him again, feeling guiltier than ever. "I did. I realized my dreams, Owen, but...what about yours? I wanted you to...I wanted you to be able to have that dream."
Owen looked saddened as he gently wiped away her tears with his fingertips. "Cristina...we were bigger than children. We were. I would have spent the rest of my life with you, baby or no baby." He watched her as the tears filled her eyes. "But it's okay. It's done. It's over."
But it had never been over for her, and as she looked at him through her teary eyes...she wasn't sure if he believed his own words.
They covered the moment with more of the champagne, but it did nothing to dull the memories and in fact served them to make them even stronger in her mind, and she couldn't help thinking just how much she had pictured this even after all these years, the two of them alone in an intimate setting and in a place where they could give into everything they had been missing all of these years, no attachments to anyone else, or more importantly, with each other.
At least that's what she kept telling herself.
"Then...for old times' sake..." She didn't know where the words had come from or how her body was leaning forward without her actively remembering doing it, maybe it was the many drinks she'd had earlier, maybe it was the rush of winning her award, or maybe it was his mere presence that reminded her of everything they had been once, together...but then her lips were inches from his and licking the taste of the champagne off of his lips before he responded, opening his mouth to hers and tasting her for the first time in years.
He tasted the same on her tongue; his hands were familiar on her thigh and his body just as she had fantasized about it for so long under her fingertips. Her gasps felt as they had years ago as his own fingertips brushed the sensitive skin of her leg, lightly at first before moving fast and furious up to the hem of her dress, eager in his haste to push the silky material up to her hips.
"You're so goddamn wet," he murmured, his hand tracing a path between her legs and brushing against her panties. "You have no idea, Cristina...I've wanted this for so long..."
"Shut up." The words were choked out as she began to work on the button of his pants, unable to take him being so close but not where she needed him to be. At just the touch of his length, she could feel the familiar shivers begin to set her body on edge and she gracelessly shoved his pants down and off even as he fluidly stripped her dress off of her body and sent it to the other side of the room. She was sure some of his buttons were ripped off of his shirt in her zeal to get him unclothed but she didn't care and as she felt his fingers hook around and slide her panties down her legs, she had the feeling he didn't give a damn about anything else at the moment but her, and them.
"Cristina..." His voice was a growl before he was lifting her effortlessly into his arms and depositing her on the bed, their hands never ceasing in exploring the others or their lips able to stop tasting and mouthing every bit of skin they could. "You're still so beautiful." He buried his face in her neck as he lashed a path with his tongue and teeth on the tender skin, down and across her collarbone down to her breasts.
She moaned as his tongued laved over her aching nipples in just the way she liked, the way she had remembered him doing to her and the way her body had been craving since the moment she laid eyes on him in the crowded banquet hall. "Why are we still talking?" Her leg wrapped around him impatiently, drawing him so close and yet much too far from where her body was screaming for him to be. "Owen..."
"Not yet. I want to remember you just like this..." He kissed his way down further, over her abdomen and her hips and back up to where her lips were open with need for him before stroking her face, looking into her eyes and holding her there while he finally entered her, painfully slowly, filling her to the hilt and nearly causing her to lose it right then and there at the mere feel of him.
Cristina could only grab onto his shoulders and wrap her legs tightly around his hips as they set the pace, rocking with one another in the rhythm they had perfected so many years ago, one where it took him so deep inside of her at just the right angle and speed that she began to tear up, clawing at him to bring him closer and feeling herself being brought sharply and swiftly to that downfall she so needed with him.
Even as her hand tried to work its way down to help them along, his own, much larger one stayed hers and squeezed it briefly before he was brushing his hand down to work her swollen clit.
"Owen..." She squeezed her eyes shut and arched her back in anticipation. "I'm...I'm..."
It was as if he could read her mind and body and he responded accordingly, speeding up just enough to give her the friction she needed to completely lose herself in him. It had been so long and she didn't know just how she had managed to make it all these years without his touch and the utter bliss she found herself drowning in now. Her body curled around his so tightly she didn't think they'd ever be able to be disentangled from one another, and from the way his rhythm suddenly increased in speed and became less deliberately slow and sensual...he wasn't about to let it happen anytime soon.
"Cristina, I..."
"Owen...don't..." She could barely speak and her words melted into his waiting mouth as he took his own pleasure from her, making sure to rub her one last time so that she could fall with him once more.
It was the first of many times that night they had rediscovered just how much bigger than anything else in the world they could be when they were together like this, when they were making love and when they were staring into one another's eyes, breathless, sweaty and drained from previous activities but never losing sight of the beautiful sight in front of them.
The heat from their passionate evening had long since gone from Owen's bed when she slipped from his arms the next morning, quickly and quietly washing up and putting on her dress and heels before he awoke, but her body felt far colder as she prepared to do the walk of shame back to her own room in the hotel and away from him once again.
She allowed herself only a brief look back at his sleeping form before she closed the door softly behind her, biting her lip as she turned to leave.