(teach me how to be because I am not) beautiful
—
look into (the dullness of) my eyes
they always (ignore my silent pleas and) smirk at me
—
they say that I am beautiful (but worthless)
every (predatory) smile they send me makes me shiver with anticipation (of hate)
—
sometimes at night I write words on my skin (with a knife)
I am (stupid, ugly, unwanted, lonely and) okay
—
"what are you hiding?"
"nothing" (but death)
—
occasionally I hold (a bottle of) escape in my hands
it is full of dreams (that will come when I swallow too many)
—
all the pretty words are to my face (the ugly ones see my back)
I am a good girl, perfect, wonderful (and nobody cares about me)
—
every (desperate) word I speak (and scream) is a cry for help
I see you grin in euphoria (when I fall) and frown in grief (when I get up)
—
there are reminders to (hurt) myself in my mind
they are written in (blood that people mistake for) ink
—
there is a flower (scented pill) in my palm
I can be happy (one last time, as I swallow)
—
thank you for teaching me that I am beautiful (in death)
—
an; it's national suicide prevention day.
you are beautiful.
remember that.
x dee (note: it's collapsar with a changed username. i'm like firing now)
ps: this is a girl, but here's a reminder that boys can hurt to. too many people i know forget that
pps: think of this as a depressed demigod