This is my first and maybe only fanfic, basically it's starting up about a month after the season 4 finale.

Chapter One: Pandamonium

Panda had been crying for weeks—ever since she had found out about Freddie and Cook. Things couldn't have been worse; Freddie was dead, the police still hadn't found Cook's body, their killer was on the loose, Effy was back in the loony bin and it seemed like Katie was on her way there as well, and JJ had just disappeared. Emily and Naomi were a lot like she found herself and Thomas; trying to work their relationship back together in the midst of all this jumbled mess and feeling guilty for moments of happiness they found. They had both put off Harvard this year; they both knew it was probably a bad idea, but Panda wanted to be where the last of their friends were. With all that had happened Thomas wanted to be were Panda was. They were working on third time's the charm and even though he had gotten a flat of his own, he rationalized that he should stay close to home for his siblings.

Thomas had barely left her side since the police brought them in for questioning, but today he had to go to work and Panda found herself alone with reality. She did not like it—did not feel ready for it. When he was gone, she thought about what was happening. Then she would try to distract herself by thinking of how happy she was to have Thomas again, but then she would wonder if that was real or if he just felt sorry for her or if she was only with him because she wanted things to be like they were before all this. That would only bring her back to how everything was so wrong now. She was lying on the couch, a broken down loveseat they had found on a corner one day, in his flat. It reminded her of the first flat he had found when he was waiting for his family to join him, only this one was smaller and much closer to the club he used to work for. Panda's things littered the rooms here and there; it seemed like she was moving her room from home piece by piece at random. She decided to distract herself by picking up around the place, which eventually ended in her standing next to the door, pulling jackets from on top of the milk crate that they piled all their shoes in. She placed them on the wobbly chair on the other side of the door until she found one that wasn't either hers or her boyfriends and she realized it was one of JJ's. She shook it to try to knock out some of the wrinkles and a photo fell out of the pocket. Staring up at her from the floor were the three musketeers.

She didn't really know how she ended up outside of Effy's house; she had staggered out for a walk after finishing all the alcohol they had in Thomas's flat and this is where she had ended up. It was surprisingly warm that night and she was beginning to regret throwing on one of Thomas's extra coats before leaving; she struggled her way free from it and tied it around her waist. She thought she saw Effy's mom peeking out the window and turned around quickly hoping not to be noticed. Every time Ms. Stonem saw Panda, she would begin to cry and then Panda would sit for hours feeling like she was making things worse when she was just trying to make her friend's mother feel better. It was a testament to how useless she felt most of the time. She decided she should leave before actually being seen. Taking one last glance at the house, she noticed a guy standing on the sidewalk and staring up into Effy's room. She couldn't believe it, how many boys were obsessed with Effy? Not that Panda didn't see why; what she really wondered was how all those guys managed to never bump into each other in the roughly four feet of space they always seemed to gravitate to under her window, hoping for a glimpse. At any rate, as much as she didn't want to see Ms. Stonem, she didn't want her best friend's mom to have to deal with Effy's newest stalker.

"Hey!" She squeaked trying to sound bold. "Yeah you. She's not here and whoever you are, she's completely too good for you anyway and they've had loads of trouble so she doesn't need some new horny guy stalking her. You should just...just fuck off." She stopped to catch her breath. "Ok?"

"Geez Panda, I just want to know she's ok;, that's nothing new..." the guy replied, turning around.

He looked so much like Freddie, it actually made her stomach lurch, or maybe it was the liquor catching up with her. At any rate, she was going to lose all of it now. The boy jogged across the street to help her; she didn't feel like she could lift her head, so she slurred out, "it's not funny. You can't get a laugh by trying to get her to see you and think you're Freddie; it's cruel and I'll have Thomas beat you up. He'll beat you proper if I tell him."

The boy shook his head in utter confusion. "Thomas?" he said trying to hold back a laugh. "You'll have Thomas beat me up for acting like Freddie? What have you been taking? Look I swear I'm not trying to start anything, I just want to know if she's ok, I just want to see her." He shrugged. "I just... want to help."

"Everything goes wrong," Panda mumbled incoherently into the sidewalk. "If you're such a good guy then help me up." He took her arm and she shivered. "Well come on, help me up if you're so nice; it's really cold out here all of a sudden."

"I am helping," he huffed in frustration. "And I'm not that bad you know; I would do anything for her or any of you for that matter. What's wrong with acting like Freddie?"

"Because you can't be Freddie; that's just sick. You can't just try to be Freddie, she's not that crazy you..." She finally managed to lift her head up to look him in the eyes. She shot back as quick as she could, scratching her hands and legs on the concrete in the process.

"What all did you take Panda? It's just me—it's Freddie." And it was; down to every detail, every expression.

"You're alive!" Pandora gasped, and for a brief moment, she was filled with relief. "But no, you can't be; you got all chopped up. You're gone..."

"You're just messed up right now; I need to get you home. Come on, I'll help you." Freddie reached to help her up. He'd seen Panda pretty zoned out before, but this was a whole new level; usually she just passed out and needed a literal lift home.

"No, you're not here…go away…you're not real. We had to bury all your…your pieces and chunks in a little box!" she screamed. "Go away, go away." she squeezed against the wall behind her and covered her head with her arms. "Go away."

"Fine, I'll call Thomas so he can come get you," he said.

She peeked out between her arms as Freddie stood up, took out his phone, turned, and disappeared into thin air. "Blimey, I've gone loony..."

I welcome and can handle constructive criticism, but please be nice. Also *I do not own Skins or any Skins characters*