My love is drifting in a sweet dream, and my heart is beatin' like a drum
And my words don't make a sound
And I'm dancin' but my feet ain't on the ground
I am flying, forever within your arms
Oh I'm flying, forever within your heart, I am flying
I didn't mean to stay all night, oh no, but baby you hold me so tight
I didn't mean to turn you loose, oh no, but baby you won't refuse
I didn't mean to turn you on, oh no, it's heaven it can't be wrong
I didn't mean to stay all night
-"Didn't Mean to Stay all Night", by Starship
So…it had finally happened.
The unthinkable…
Knuckles the Echidna had proposed to Rouge the bat…
The news dealt a hard blow to Shadow. After being her roommate in her apartment for months and months, it was a devastating thought…the fact that she would soon be gone. Of course, he was happy for them. He wanted nothing better for Rouge…the one who took him in and cared for him when no one else in the world would…no one but Rouge…
And this was certainly the greatest thing that could happen to her. After all, they had been dating each other and had an unbreakable love. When Rouge came home the night of Knuckles' proposal, she was hysterical. Crying tears of joy into Shadow's black fur as he congratulated her, she was restless for the next week. She even urged Knuckles to plan the wedding as soon as possible, no matter what the cost.
"The President will pay for it," she reassured with a sly smirk, "Call it a promotion."
That was four months ago…now Shadow stood in the middle of an empty apartment. Rouge's belongings, most of the furniture, several other necessities had all been packed into boxes currently being hauled out of the apartment building by Sonic and Tails. They were to be placed in Knuckles' and Rouge's new home on Angel Island…leaving Shadow alone…
"Yo, Shad," Sonic called from the hallway, "It's done, everything's away. Come downstairs and help us pack it into the truck."
Shadow, seemingly oblivious to Sonic's calls, simply glanced at him and nodded. "I'll be down in a few minutes," he replied. Sonic gave him the thumbs up and headed downstairs. Shadow looked out the window and saw a blue blur shoot out the front doorway and head for the group gathered behind the moving truck.
"That's it then…I'm alone…" he whispered, "…again…"
He looked down at Knuckles, who was holding an overjoyed Rouge in his arms. She was so happy with him…happier than anyone thought it was even possible for someone like Rouge to be. Shadow smiled. She's happy…and that's all that matters…
But his smile soon faded. She was going, and there was no bringing her back. Sure, he would visit them on Angel Island, and they would come to him…but this feeling was different…
Out of all of them—Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy—Rouge was the only one who truly cared for Shadow. And, although she insisted that everyone else would've done the same, he knew she was the only one true to him. After the adventures they had been on…aboard the ARK in space…against the Metal Overlord…the fights against Emerl…Rouge had been the only one who helped him along the way.
The thoughts stung him…I should be the one down there…holding her…
But then…
His eyes widened. No! …It's better this way…She must not suffer the same fate as Maria…
The thought of losing another one so close to him…even just thinking about it…made him want to break down. Maria was the only other person who showed him love…the one thing he wanted in life. And she had been gone for fifty years…
Rouge took him in, cared for him, gave him a place to stay…
No! She must not suffer!
In one quick gesture to release his rage, Shadow raised his fist and slammed it down on a small coffee table Rouge had left him, causing spider-web-like cracks to spread throughout the surface. He cringed at the slight pain, and flexed his now sore fist. After a few minutes of rubbing it, he decided it was fine and headed downstairs to wish Knuckles and Rouge well-off in their new home…
"The life of the party has arrived," Sonic mumbled as he watched Shadow walk down the building's front steps, "What on earth kept you?"
"Nothing," Shadow insisted, "Is everything packed away?"
"Yep." Tails tugged tightly at the moving van's rear door lock, making sure it was sealed tight. "No way anything's falling out of this thing."
"Right on, big guy," Sonic said, giving Tails a high-five.
The action got mild chucking out of everyone, but the subject soon turned back to the soon-to-be-couple's new home. "It's going to be wonderful!" Rouge cried, once again throwing her arms around her echidna fiancé.
Knuckles grinned and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Of course. I had Sonic help me build the best home in the world," he said.
There was a cough.
Everyone turned to see Shadow staring down at the ground. "Anything wrong, Shadow?" Amy asked, her voice filled with concern, "I've never heard you cough before."
"I'm fine," Shadow said, trying to hide the darkness and disappointment in his voice. He walked past everyone and shook Knuckles' hand. "Congratulations, I…wish you the best of luck," he remarked, and then turned to Rouge.
She looked at him…and it stung. He quickly averted his gaze from her eyes to the red rose Knuckles had placed in her hair near her ear. "And you too, Rouge…" He tried to chuckle a bit. "I'm gonna miss your bad cooking."
The reaction was just as he expected…they laughed…especially Sonic. "Ain't it the truth?" he joked.
Shadow uttered a hollow chuckle. "Yeah…bad cooking…but, I will miss you."
Rouge smiled and let go of Knuckles. She quickly wrapped her arms around him in a light hug. "I'm gonna miss you too…but at least you won't walk in on me in the bathroom anymore."
Once again…a roar of laughter from Sonic. Shadow, however, had his jaw hanging open and was quickly turning a deep shade of red. Rouge bent over with laughter and slapped him on the back. "Come on, Shads, lighten up!"
Shadow simply sighed and straightened his slumped posture. "I…I'm going to go take a walk, maybe visit the Chaotix," he said, "I'll be back soon…"
"Don't forget, the wedding is tomorrow at noon," Knuckles called as Shadow disappeared around the building.
At the sound of 'wedding,' Shadow could hardly contain himself anymore. With that last word, he knew he had lost Rouge forever. It's better this way…it's better this way…
No. It wasn't.
Shadow stopped walking and leaned against a lamppost. He looked up at the deep red sun, beginning to set behind the a tall syscraper. The sun is going down…disappearing…like Rouge…
A single silver tear fell from his eye…it was the first time he had cried since the ARK incident…
Tails greeted the guests at the church. "Welcome…nice day…Amy will lead you to your seats…HOLY SMOKES!"
E-123 Omega suddenly barged up to him, causing the ground to shake beneath him. But it wasn't this stampede-like action that surprised Tails…it was the fact that Omega had dressed himself in a nice black tuxedo that really knocked him out.
Or, at least, tried to dress himself. Omega's sharp angles and other protrusions from his shoulders tore through the suit in various places. "Greetings, Tails, I am here for the wedding of Rouge," he droned.
Tails continued to stare wide-eyed for another few seconds. "Um…Hi, Omega…nice suit…"
"Affirmative, it is of a 75 silk and 25 cotton make up," Omega replied.
"Uh…okay then." The fox opened the door and pointed to a pew of empty seats right up front, near the organ pit. Omega observed the area and stomped in, scaring half the guests to death.
Sonic was standing near the priest, tapping his foot and glancing at his watch. He, too, was dressed in a nice black tuxedo, as was every other male guest. "Where the heck is Shadow? The wedding starts in fifteen minutes!"
"Have faith in him," the priest said.
Sonic rolled his eyes. "Father Frump…I'd better go tell Rouge he's gonna be late."
"As you wish, Sonic."
Rouge, completely dressed in her bride gown, opened the door to her dressing room. "Sonic? What's wrong?" she asked when she saw the concerned look on his face.
Sonic sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Uh…it's Shadow. He's still not here, I think he's gonna be late," he explained.
Rouge gasped and put her hands over her mouth. "But…he can't be late! He's…the guest of honor…"
"Well, his seat's still empty, come take a look."
Sonic led Rouge through the hallway to its opening to the church, just behind the organ pit. Rouge peered through at the hundreds of guests already assembled. Tails had taken a seat next to Amy, who was sitting with Cream in her lap. Vanilla was in the row right behind her. Omega was taking up three seats and crushing the pews next to her.
Even Eggman and Metal Sonic had come! They were sitting next to Omega.
But…there was an empty space right in the front row…
Shadow was missing.
"Oh no…" Rouge began to sob softly.
Sonic patted her back. "It's okay, I'm sure he'll be here, we still got ten minutes left. And you know how fast he can run. He'll be here even if it's ten seconds before the 'I Do.'"
Rouge looked at Sonic, her eyes quickly filling with tears. She understood why Shadow wasn't here now. He had been hurt…by her…and she could not stand for that… "No," she sobbed, "It's my fault…I gotta go find him."
Sonic's eyes bulged. "Wha…? No! You can't keep Knuckles waiting," he insisted.
Rouge shoved her bouquet of flowers in his face. "Hold these while I find him," she said, and then took off running down the hallway to the church's rear entrance.
Sonic set the bouquet down next to the organ and leaned against it. "I hope he gets here soon…"
Rouge took flight over Station Square once outside the church. "I knew this was going to happen…" she sobbed, "And now…I don't know where he is…"
Greatly downhearted after scanning the whole city from above, Rouge landed on the top of another skyscraperand sat, full of melancholy. "This is my fault…maybe I should've just stayed at the wedding…"
Then she saw something out of the corner of her eye. On the abandoned highway…a black streak running back and forth…
She knew where he was…
Shadow ran.
He just ran.
Back and forth…trying to forget about the wedding…about his friends…about Rouge…
Fate did this…I have no control over fate…but what of my actions…?
No. He stopped running and rested, breathing heavily. There was no fate. He couldn't admit it to himself, but fate had nothing to do with this. It was his own actions…that prevented him from keeping Rouge…
The steady beating of soft wings came from behind him. "Shadow?"
Shadow turned. "Rouge…"
Rouge landed and folded her wings behind her back, letting her long wedding gown flow behind in the light breeze. Shadow smirked. "You look beautiful…" he said, smiling slightly. But then…a frown. "Don't keep Knuckles waiting…I'm sure he wants to see you in that as well…" He turned and began to head down the highway again.
Rouge quickly extended her arm and put her hand on his shoulder. He stopped, but did not look back. "…Shadow? What…why aren't you at the wedding?" she asked.
"…I don't know why…" Shadow replied, still refusing his urge to turn back to her.
"Yes…you do know why…" Rouge insisted, "Now tell me…please?"
"I said it's nothing!" Shadow roughly grabbed her hand and threw it off her shoulder, storming over to the curb of the highway.
A thin film of tears started forming in Rouge's eyes, spilling out onto her cheeks. "Shadow…stop…please…"
"Go back to your wedding," he growled curling up by the curb and closing his eyes, "I'm not wanted…"
Rouge was shocked by his words. "Yes you are, Shadow," she said sternly, "Sonic wants you, Tails wants you, Knuckles wants you…I want you…Shadow…"
Shadow opened his eyes and looked over at her. "…You want me? …Then why? Why didn't you take me?" he bellowed.
Tears continued to fall down Rouge's cheeks. "Shadow…I don't understand…"
Shadow…was stunned… She doesn't understand…how can I be so selfish?
He looked down at the dusty and cracked asphalt and rose to his feet. "…I'm sorry, Rouge…it's me who doesn't understand…I couldn't force you to take me over Knuckles…"
"…Take you over Knuckles?" Rouge was now more confused that upset. "I can't grasp what you're saying…"
"Rouge…" Shadow was now once again on the breaking point. The emotions had been building up behind his façade of calmness like flood water against a weakened dam…it was time to let them go… "Can't you see, Rouge?" he cried, thin tears falling from his eyes, shining in the sunlight against his black fur…
Rouge stood with her mouth hanging open.
"Rouge…I…" Say it… "I…can't…" Now or never… "…I love you, Rouge…"
Rouge was silent. She said nothing. She raised her hand and put it over her mouth, slowly shaking her head in disbelief. "…Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she whispered.
Shadow blinked, sending a stream of tears out of his eyes down his cheeks. He quickly turned away from Rouge and wiped them away. "I couldn't…" he said, "…you were the world to me…but I couldn't…"
"I don't understand…" Rouge continued to whisper softly, keeping her hand over her mouth.
Shadow looked deep into her eyes…and felt that stinging sensation again…but this time, he didn't look away…he was going to face it…no matter how much it hurt him…
Rouge looked back and began to feel the same stinging sensation…although she thought nothing of it at first… "Shadow…"
Shadow shook his head as he spoke. "I…never told anyone…no one knew…that I loved you…I've loved you since the day I saved you on ARK…"
"Why…?"
"You were the only one who could accept me for who I was…not what I had been…" Shadow hung his head, and Rouge saw a few tears fall, glittering in the sunlight, "Professor Gerald created me, to be the Ultimate Life form…a weapon…but you…you saw past that…you cared for me…"
"You were my friend," Rouge replied through a quick sob, "I was doing what any other friend would've."
"No," Shadow said, "There was something different about you…you cared deeper that any other friend I've ever had…even deeper than Maria…"
Rouge's eyes widened. "Maria…?" Shadow hadn't spoken a word about Maria since he fell from ARK…it hurt him too much…
"And then against the Metal Overlord…you were there to help me. Against Emerl…you took me in when I was weakened and cared for me," Shadow continued, "No one else would ever do that for me…for a weapon…" He raised his head and stared at her again. "I don't love you for the reasons that Knuckles does…I love you…because I feel differently around you…"
"…How?"
"I…feel acceptance…" Shadow hesitated in answering. "I…never felt like that before…and I liked it…and without you around…" He trailed off.
Rouge took a few minutes to let the information sink in. Shadow really, truly, deeply loved her…perhaps even more than Knuckles…
"I'll be alone…" He finished.
"But…we'll still visit you," Rouge reassured, "And…you can visit us, too."
Shadow shook his head. "It's different…knowing that I lost you to someone else…"
"Why, Shadow, why didn't you say anything to me?" Rouge demanded, slightly hurt by his statement.
"Because…you would have suffered the same fate as Maria…" Shadow replied, "And if that happened to you…I don't think I could handle another loss…" He turned to her and smiled, a few tears still remaining on his cheeks. "Yes, you mean to me as Maria once did…perhaps even more…"
Rouge was stunned. Never had Shadow held one above Maria…and now he was here…torn over the fact that she was leaving him… She looked down at the ground for a moment, thinking of what to say next…
"Shadow…"
"Yes?"
Rouge smiled and held her hand out. "Care to dance?"
Shadow looked down at her hand, to her, then back at her hand. He slowly took it and she brought him close to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and she put her hand on his shoulder. Shadow began to slowly dance around the highway, taking Rouge along with him.
"This is…nice…" he said, his hear beating faster and faster.
"Mmmhmmm," Rouge agreed, resting her head on his shoulder as he led the way. "I know how to make it better…"
Shadow looked curious. "…How?" he wondered.
Rouge gave him a sly smirk and spread her wings. Shadow quickly started to grab hold of her, but she rose into the air, keeping the dancing position the same. "Now dance…" she said.
Shadow let his feet hang in the air for a moment, but started moving them as if he were back on the ground. Rouge hovered over one spot, but slowly flew from one end of the highway to the other. Shadow danced in the air the whole time…
Rouge's warm smile began to slowly fade. "Shadow…I'm sorry…"
"About what?" Shadow whispered, "You gave me everything…"
"Except me…" Rouge sobbed silently, "I'm so sorry…but…I have a commitment with Knuckles…"
"Shhh," Shadow calmed her, lifting her chin with his finger, "It's okay…I want you to be happy, no matter what. And if it means leaving me for Knuckles…so be it…"
More tears fell from her eyes. "…I…don't know…"
"Don't do that," Shadow said sternly, "Don't walk out on him. I want YOU to be happy. It doesn't matter how I feel. I'll never get what I truly want."
"And…you're okay with that?" Rouge asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.
Shadow looked down at her and gave her a warm smile. "Of course. Would I lie to you?"
"No…" Rouge whispered.
"No, I wouldn't," Shadow said, "Now, bring us down, you have a wedding to attend."
"Of course." Rouge stopped flapping and the two slowly descended, landing lightly on the pavement. She let Shadow go, and stood next to her, embracing her.
"Go ahead…get married…" he said, "Be happy…"
Rouge smiled and returned the embrace. "If it makes you happy…I will," she said. She released Shadow and stared deep into his crimson eyes for a moment.
"Go," he urged, "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes…"
"Okay." Rouge turned toward the city and began walking, but quickly turned back to see one last goodbye to Shadow. "Shadow…"
…He was gone…
Rouge peered down the length of the highway, trying to find him. But she saw nothing. "…Goodbye, Shadow…"
Shadow was running.
He just ran.
He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care.
He was leaving his old life behind him; it was time to start anew…
Only for one second did he look back at the quickly disappearing city of Station Square…the tall white steeple of the church could be seen above many buildings. And from that steeple rang church bells…
Shadow looked away from the city and began running once again.
"I will return one day…Rouge…"
My love is drifting in a sweet dream, and my heart is beatin' like a drum
And my words don't make a sound
And I'm dancin' but my feet ain't on the ground