A/N: Hello folks! First fanfic here! -pops champagne bottle* Much W00tness.
So… yeah. This just came to me one day. I have no idea why.
Thanks to my friend for being my unofficial editor! You know who you are…
Disclaimer: Why do we even have to put these things anyway? Do lawyers just sit at their computers and browse for fanfics that don't have disclaimers? Ah well... For all you lawyers out there, I do not own the Outsiders.
Flames will be taken into consideration and/or laughed at.
Okay. Let's see if this works.
She's gone. I thought if I kept repeating it to myself, it might start to make more sense. She's gone. And she's not coming back. Just believe it.
Why did she have to go?
Sometimes it was so easy to convince myself that she was just in the other room, or that she was at her place and I'd call her once I got off work. And sometimes, usually late at night, the truth of it would hit me like a punch to the gut. And I've taken enough of those to know that physical pain hurts much less than the mental kind.
Especially if you love them.
Especially if they return your letter unopened.
And especially if they're a girl named Sandy.
Yeah, I know I was sixteen and she was barely seventeen, but so what? What I told Ponyboy all those nights ago was the truth. I was in love, love damn it, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.
That's right. I said was.
When that damn letter came back to me, it was like I'd hit rock bottom and then somebody had thrown me a shovel. Times a billion. There are simply no words to describe it. Add that onto the fact that Johnny and Dallas were dead it just, well, it put me in a daze. You could've put a gun to my head and I wouldn't have reacted, because in a way I was already dead.
What really killed me, though, was that I knew Pony was going through the same thing. That kid was lucky if he came home with both shoes on his feet. I dropped out because I was honestly dumb- so I didn't have much of a mind left to lose anyway, y'know? But Pony was smart. Couldn't afford to live in a vacuum. The only times he would react to anything was when he and Darry started fighting again. And one day I just sort of lost it- yelled at both of 'em for making me feel worse than I did already.
But they didn't know the whole story. Everyone in the gang was hurting about Johnny and Dally, but they didn't realized I still felt as bad as I did about… her. I let 'em go on not knowing, too. Why should they worry about me?
I realized something, though. I'd often told Sandy about how I'd do anything for her. Anything, as long as she was happy. And if moving away and breaking it off with me was what made her happy… then so be it.
Because that's what you do for someone you love.
And if she was happy, than I was happy.
But what I'd written at the bottom of my letter still floated before my eyes.
P.S. I miss you.
A/N2: Well. I'm sorry if that sucked and you now want to beat me with a cheese grater. But if you do want to beat me with a cheese grater, please do so mentally- it will save everyone a lot of time and money.
(Kudos goes to St. Fang of Boredom, because I stole her cheese grater bit. I hope she's not mad at me…)
And now, if it's not too much trouble… click that little button down there and tell me what you think!