Vacation
A/N: It's me again! Thanks to Animefangirl 11 for reading and reviewing. And thanks to RoboMonkeys 14 for enjoying my insane stories. Also, I know Tootle Loo (she's my best friend: any reviews that she has left are private jokes between us, so she doesn't mean to be offensive. Hi, Tootle Loo! Hope you're reading!) As usual, here's Ivy and Nova with the disclaimer.
Nova: You know the drill. Beastfire doesn't own the team, or our enemies, or a brain.
Beastfire: Hey!
Ivy: 'Smatta? Truth hurt?
Beastfire: I'll get you for that.
Ivy: What'd I do?
Beastfire: I don't know. Let me think of something.
Ivy: Erm…let's get on with the story.
The Hyperforce had had a slow month, so they decided to go on vacation. They were going to the other side of the planet and had two options: fly or drive.
"Why don't we rent a car?," suggested Chiro. "You know, something different?"
"One problem, Chiro," Antauri began. "Who would drive?"
"The only one of us tall enough is the kid," put in Sprx.
Chiro heard this and cheered.
Then, Gibson said, "But Chiro is too young."
Chiro sulked upon hearing this. That was when Ivy put in her two cents.
"Hey, I'm old enough!"
"But you're too short."
"Bullcrap! I CAN manipulate the car with my mind, y'know."
"That's a scary thought," said Nova. "You trying to use your mind."
"Oh, haha, Nova. Very funny."
It was then that Tootle Loo (who asked to be put in the story) came in. She said, "You need someone to drive? I'll do it, for a price."
"Like what?," the team asked.
"Fifty bucks."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me."
They all grumbled and foraged for their money. All they could come up with was a ball of lint, a paperclip, an IOU, a wad of ABC gum, a baseball card, a coupon for a 12-pack of beer, and a centerfold from PlayMonkey magazine. Sprx noticed the centerfold (which he'd put in there) and quickly snatched it back.
"Heheh," he laughed nervously. "I wonder how THAT got there."
"This enough?," Chiro asked.
"Only if I get a favor."
"Like what?"
"One of you has to work for me for a month."
Everyone looked right at....Otto. He saw them looking at him and cringed. This did not bode well.
A while later, T. L. was behind the wheel of a minivan. In the front were Antauri and Gibson. Sprx, Otto, and Nova were in the middle. As for Chiro and Ivy, they were in the back, neither one looking all too pleased.
"Man," complained Ivy. "Why do I gotta sit in the booster seat?"
"Because you're short," came T.L.'s reply.
"Why do I have to sit in the back?," Chiro whined.
"Hey, at least you ain't in the booster seat! Not like me…"
"That's not the point! You're short, so you deserve it!"
"Oh, now you did it…"
"What're you gonna do? Bite me?"
They began arguing on the spot, calling each other really immature names. Everybody else could be described as having a vein throbbing in their forehead. T.L yelled back at them.
"DO I HAFTA REACH BACK THERE AND SMACK YOU TWO?!"
Did they take this threat seriously? Yeah, right! The next thing they knew, an arm extended and smacked each of them hard upside the head. So there was a short moment of silence, then a song came on the radio that Gibson loved. He decided to sing along to it. Unfortunately his singing was severely off-key. Everyone plugged their ears. Luckily a fly came through the window and flew into Gibson's throat. Instead of his horrid singing, Gibson was heard choking on the fly. Antauri reached over and gave Gibson the Heimlich Maneuvor. The fly was sent hurtling back through the window.
After driving another few miles, they saw a hitchhiker. Not wanting to be mean, T.L. pulled over and allowed the creepy guy to get in, letting him sit in the middle with Sprx, Nova, and Otto. The three monkeys were kinda creeped out. They saw a chainsaw shining in his bag, and he handed each of them a note. They read the notes and were really scared. Nova shot a look to the back, eyes pleading for help.
"He's trying to kill us," she whispered to Ivy.
"How can you tell?"
"He's got a chainsaw in his bag."
"Look. Just because he's got a weapon doesn't mean he's tryin' to kill ya."
"Then explain the notes."
She handed Ivy the note.
"Hmm. It says, 'You're dead meat. I'm gonna bump you off today with my chainsaw.' You're actually taking this seriously? This guy's obviously lying. What an amatuer!"
"He's sharpening his chainsaw right now."
Ivy looked and, sure enough, he was sharpening the chainsaw. She rolled her eyes and telekinetically threw him and his stuff through the window. Everything was fine, until Otto announced to the entire universe, "I HAFTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!".
The rest stop they stopped at was populated by artists. Chiro decided it would be fun to have his portrait drawn by one. Ivy came up behind the artist and inspected his work. He was just about done. That was when the diabolical plan formed in her mind.
"Wow," she said. "This is highly inaccurate. Let me improve it."
A few minutes later, she was done and handed the portrait to Chiro. He looked at it and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. This portrait of him had half of his teeth blacked out, a moustache, a goatee, an eyepatch, an afro with a worm popping out of it, and a huge boogar hanging from his nose. Nova came over, saw the picture, and fell to the ground laughing. Ivy laughed quite evilly, proud of a job well done.
Otto came out from the restrooms, soaked. Apparently, he'd fallen into the toilet. It took Antauri, Sprx, and Gibson about half an hour to extract him from the porcelain deathtrap. They all got back on the road and reached their destination: a resort on the other side of the planet. 'That was fast,' they all thought.
As soon as they all got there, Antauri decided to get a drink. He thought that the local tap water would be pure and healthy. In actuality, it caused chronic insanity. He ran around like he was hyper. Then a scream and a crash were heard. The monkey had crashed into Ivy when she was carrying a beer. He'd caused her to drop it. Sprx and Nova rushed over, since they were the closest.
"Don't drink the water," Ivy told them. "It'll make you go matto."
"Huh?"
"Crazy? Geez, you guys should learn some Italian."
So, while Antauri ran around like a psycho, Chiro was booking the rooms... or trying to.
"Don't you have ANY rooms?!"
"Do you have any money?," the manager asked in a French accent.
"C'mon. We're the Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force-"
"Go!"
"Yeah, but-"
"I MEAN GO AWAY!"
He spent several hours arguing with the manager, until he got thrown out. Chiro got everybody else together, everyone, that is, except…
"Anyone seen Sprx?"
"Yeah," Ivy said casually. "He got arrested for hitting on some other planet's queen. I told him not to, but-"
"No, actually you dared him to," corrected Gibson.
"Oh, right. Forgot."
So, they drove to the prison ship and bailed Sprx out. Chiro broke the bad news to everybody else. Did this stop them from staying there? Of course not. They camped out by the resort for a week. The trip back to Shuggazoom was pretty uneventful. Then, they arrived. The city had been attacked by pretty much every villian they'd ever fought, from Skeleton King to Gyrus Krinkle. The citizens themselves were pretty cheezed off. The Hyperforce had a lot to do to redeem themselves. That was the last time they'd all ever go on vacation.
And thank you for reading. This has to be one of the longest one-shots I've ever done, but not longer than "24 Hours of Chaos". Please review!