That one night I spend with her was the best night of my life.
I still dream about the way she felt the way she looked at me with the same lustful eyes as me.
I hate that I couldn't help her. She left me and everyone who cared for her.
I heard about the news through my mom. She yelled at me a lot. She had never yelled at me the way she yelled at me that night. At first I was confused because she wasn't making any sense. But was really stuck to me was the final thing she said, "The baby survived." I didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't know what baby she talked about and why it concerned me.
When she calmed down she explained to me that Hannah Baker took her life. I cried. She waited for me to get my crying out before she dropped the biggest news on me. Hannah was pregnant with my baby. She had left a note saying I was the father and if the baby survived she wanted me to take care of it. I couldn't believe this. I wanted to cry but I didn't know why now. I was a father.
My mom was happy and mad at me. She was going to accept the baby in the house but explained to me that we had to go to the hospital because I needed to take a DNA test to confirm the baby was mine. I knew Hannah wasn't lying.
The night that we both had sex was the best night of my life. We were both drunk. I had gone to a party and drank too much for my first time. Jeff kept complaining that I needed to go talk to her and even offered to help me but I refused.
When me and my mom arrived at the hospital I saw Mr. and Mrs. Baker, they looked horrible. I didn't know what to say to them. They didn't look up to me, both were holding each other. My mom went to talk to a nurse in the front desk explaining as to why we were there. Mr. and Mrs. Baker both turn to look at me when they heard my mom. I looked away from them.
"Follow me." A nurse told me and I followed not turning back. They took all the necessary things for the DNA test. The nurse informed me to wait in the waiting area for the results.
When I went to take a seat I noticed that Mr. and Mrs. Baker stopped crying, they were talking to my mom. I didn't want to listen, I knew what they were discussing. I was still in shock to even discuss the future right now about the baby.
I wondered what the baby was. Boy or girl?
After about an hour of waiting I was called back by a nurse. The three adults got up to go with me but the nurse informed them that only my mom could go with me because I was still underage. Hannah's parents looked at me and nodded at went back to sit down.
"So are you ready to see your daughter?" The nurse asked. I stopped walking. A girl. I had a daughter.
"Clay?" I heard my mom say. "Honey are you okay?" I nodded. "Honey we have to go see the baby. We also have to think of a name for the baby." I snapped out and looked at her.
"Mom I'm scared." She looked at me and smiled. "I'm scared for her. Her mom is dead and I..." I started crying.
"Clay you will do a good job. You have me and Hannah's parents and your dad to help you." She assured me.
The nurse only let me go in a room with a bunch of babies, I didn't know anything about babies. My stayed outside not wanting to be there for my 'moment' as she pointed out.
"Here she is. She was born very healthy considering the situation."
I looked at my daughter. She was so small. I couldn't really say she was beautiful. She look like all the babies I have seen when they are born.
"Want to hold her?" The nurse asked. I nodded a yes. I knew I was going to have to hold her eventually so why not now with the help of a nurse.
When the nurse positioned the baby in my arms, I was struck with a sense of love I couldn't explain.
"Hi baby. I'm your daddy." I wanted to never let her go. She was so small but beautiful. I finally understood the love a parent has when their child is born.
"Can you call my mom to come in. I want her to see her granddaughter." I told the nurse. Before I knew, my mom was next to me looking at the baby. "Mom isn't she beautiful?" I asked her. She softly touched the baby's head.
"She is. I will bring now Mr. and Mrs. Baker they need to see her as well. Your dad will be here later." She told me and left.
The next few hours were my mom and dad discussing the baby's future with Hannah's parents. I agreed for them to come see her everyday if they wished to my house. They offered to help us financially in any way possible, my parents and I disagreed.
The baby was passed around the five us. She cried a lot. The nurse who talked to me earlier said that the crying was because she was hungry. I was thought on the correct way to feed her by the nurse. I loved seeing her eat, for me it was so strange but something so natural too.
After a few hours we discussed names and we all decided on the name Elizabeth.
My Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Jensen