I'm still not sure if I should continue this since the ending of the last chapter can pass as a finale, but some of you said you'd like to read more. I didn't really plan to write more, but I'll give it a shot. If this doesn't seem to go well with the rest of the story, please let me know.
This is set maybe a week after the first chapter. Seth is a toddler. Perhaps about two or three. He still doesn't talk much.
TWO
A Little Bit
The moment I awoke to see the dark of night still pushing at the window I knew something was wrong. My alarm clock had not gone off, and after looking at the time I realized that I had only been asleep for twenty minutes. My stomach clenched painfully, which wasn't unusual after a night of emotional hurt like the night before. Marlin had disappointed me again. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me, but that didn't change what I felt. Suddenly I gasped. The pressure got worse and began to cross the line of unbearable. I let out a short cry of pain as I felt what I was sure was the very flesh of my abdomen split.
"Katie?" Marlin murmured sleepily.
I tried to tell him something was wrong, but not a sound came from my mouth. I couldn't breath, couldn't speak, and couldn't move. I felt panic shoot through my veins. What's wrong with me?
"Sorry if I woke you. G'night," Marlin whispered before turning over and reentering his REM cycle.
A sound similar to the final cry of a bird whose neck has been snapped escaped from my throat as my abdominal muscle forced my legs and torso to curl toward each other. I felt my heart bang against my ribs, fueled by fear. I couldn't release my legs! Marlin! Seth! Anyone!
"Mommy?" inquired a tiny voice. Seth!
I heard little feet patter across the floor until they reached the side of my bed. A small hand made contact with my forehead. "Momma?" Seth asked, sounding worried. I didn't want him to be scared. Another strong spasm flared through my nervous system before suddenly vanishing. I held perfectly still for a moment, fearing the return of whatever had happened to me. I slowly lowered my legs and stretched my body out on the bed. I seemed to be fine. Not the smallest remnant of pain remained.
"Mommy," Seth whispered again. I could hear tears in his voice.
Sitting up, I quickly scooped the little boy of the ground and held him close to my still racing heart. "It's okay, baby, Momma's fine," I whispered soothingly to my son.
"What's going on?" Marlin grunted, shifting to prop himself up on his elbow.
"Nothing," I lied, "Seth just came over to see me."
"Katie, you know how I feel about him sleeping with us," Marlin said sternly.
"I didn't say he was going to," I said tiredly.
"Come on, Seth, let's go back to bed. Bad things happen to kids who leave their beds at night, a monster comes to get them," Marlin said to the boy, holding his hands out to take him from me.
"No," Seth said with surprising force, though I felt him tremble a bit at the thought of a monster.
"Seth, if you don't come here I'll have to punish you," Marlin said firmly.
"Momma," Seth said urgently, clinging tightly to me. He knew something wasn't right. I knew it. Marlin knew his son was disobeying him.
"I'll put him back to bed," I promised, "he seems to be awake now, so I'll just get him something to drink."
"He'll wet his bed," Marlin protested.
"He hasn't done that in months, Marlin," I disagreed as I stood up. Without another word to my husband, I made my way into the kitchen. Shifting Seth's weight to my left hand, I felt along the wall with my right for the light latch. I found it and pulled, causing light to flood the room. A sudden flash of white light let me know I'd have to replace one of the bulbs.
After setting Seth down on the table, I opened the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of plum juice and a couple of straws. Seth and I shared a love of the new style of straw that bent at the top.
"Sheed!" Seth said enthusiastically as he caught a glimpse of the yellow tinted liquid.
"Juice," I said as I handed him one of the bottles and a straw and sat watching as he struggled to put the right end of the bendy straw in the bottle opening.
After taking a drink, he smiled at me and said, "Juush."
"That's right," I said with a smile as I sat next to him on the table.
XXX
I squinted against the severe rays from the sun as I brushed a lock of hair out of my violet eyes. I had always thought my eye color was pretty, and I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't have a daughter that could share the color. My mother had had the same eyes. Breathing deeply, I returned my thoughts to the task at hand. The grass would not cut itself.
I braced myself as I swung the sickle again and again. I could feel the pain from last night lingering at the edge of my mind. I wasn't sure if it was imagined or real, but I knew I would have to take it easy if I didn't want a relapse. I also realized that if the animals and plants were to survive I would have to care for them before myself. I had thought briefly about asking Vesta for help, but I didn't want to worry her any more than she already was about my health. To ask Marlin for assistance barely brushed against my consciousness before it flew right out of my mind. He would not help.
Earlier I had planned on visiting the doctor before lunch, but I now knew that would have to wait until I could finish with the grass and get the crops watered before the storm that was to blow in later in the evening. I hoped the plants wouldn't suffer too much damage from the predicted ravaging winds. It was hard to believe in the forecasted storm with the sun shedding his hottest rays on Forget-Me-Not Valley.
After another ten minutes of back-breaking work with the heavy sickle, I leaned the tool against my hip and raised my face to the sky, hoping to catch the faintest breath of a breeze. Not a leaf twitched in the heated air. I began to doubt the sanity of the burly weatherman. He wasn't exactly credible looking with his sleeveless white shirt, unshaven face, and weather-beaten farmer's hat.
Breathing heavily, I could smell the strong scent of cut grass and feel the thickness of the cut plant life beneath my worn boots. I smiled a bit, enjoying the feelings. It was moments like this, when I felt connected to the very ground, that I was glad I had chosen the life I now led. The tomatoes looked like rubies as they sat gleaming in the sun, and the leaves of my banana tree seemed to bask in the rays that I detested.
"How's it coming?" asked a deep voice from my right. I turned to see Takakura standing just outside of the fence, a strange look on his face.
"Fine. I'm a little tired, but the grass is cooperative now that it's had its fix of sunshine," I said jokingly.
"Katie," Takakura said slowly.
I knew something was coming that I probably didn't want to hear.
"I heard about the harvest festival. About what Marlin said…"
Looking down to avoid his gaze, I watched vacantly as three drops of sweat rolled off of the tip of my freckled nose. "It's nothing," I interrupted.
"He's wrong. You are a very good cook."
"Thank you, but I'm just fair at it," I said, smiling as I looked up to reassure him.
"You don't have to take my word for it, but this might convince you," Takakura said, reaching into his pocket to draw out a blue ribbon.
"What's that?" I asked dumbly.
"Vesta took a dish of your desert and submitted it in a festival in Mineral Town. It won."
"B-but… it wasn't even fresh," I stuttered intelligently.
"Yes." Without so much as another look at me, Takakura looped the ribbon around the fence and walked away.
I didn't move. I was very pleased to be recognized as a good cook – Ruby's coaching had paid off – but what did that say about Marlin? I was unwilling to think badly of the father of my son.
"He's just a picky eater," I told myself without as much conviction as I had hoped for. Turning my head, I saw Apple, my oldest cow, looked balefully at me as if to say, "If you say so."
"Well, I do say so," I said to her.
Raising the sickle once again, I returned to my work with single-minded determination: cut more grass, forget about my problems.
XXX
Later that day I finally arrived at a much needed break between chores. I was fairly sure the cows, sheep, and goat were fed properly, the chickens were napping, Seth was busy playing with a large, oddly shaped rock he'd found, and the plants were positively radiant from my watering and the bright afternoon sun.
I knew I should run by the doctor's but the thought of it made me cringe. He almost always scolded me whenever I saw him, usually for lack of rest, and I didn't feel like evading his questions about why I didn't let Marlin take more of the work load. Dear old doctor, he didn't see it. All the better. However, if something was really wrong, I needed to deal with it. Seth needed me, the farm needed me, and I needed to stay healthy.
The walk into town was much more agreeable than my morning workload mainly for the simple reason that the sun had begun to set. The large white flagstones of the road had begun to cool, and the wind had had life breathed into it once again and was now rolling gently across the valley. I had a brief temptation to skip the doctor visit and make my way down to the ocean for an hour or so. However, I knew I was overdue for a checkup and that the days when I could simply take time out of my day to rest had been left behind when I had given birth to Seth. To my mind it was a fair trade, all things considered.
All too soon the doctor's brown door loomed in front of me, looking nearly as stern as the doctor himself. Although, I had to admit he looked much happier with his red and white stripped boxers. He wore them even in the winter. I smiled as I thought about the several town functions we had met at, such as seed planting ceremonies.
"Katie?"
I turned around and came face to face with the aging doctor. "Oh! Doctor, I was just coming to see you about my checkup. It's…"
"It is overdue," the doctor said with a small frown.
"Yes. I had a bad… cramp last night and I was wondering if you could just check to make sure everything's alright," I said as cheerfully as I could.
"Very well. Come in, and don't let the cold out," he said gruffly as he opened the door and led the way into his house. The building was small and cozy. I remembered when Nina and Galen had lived in the very same house. Now Galen lived alone on a hill ever since Nina passed away. That was the same year Seth had been born. Such joy and sorrow in one year was not uncommon in Forget-Me-Not Valley.
"Sit there," the doctor said briefly as he put a kettle of water on the stove to heat. "Would you like some tea?" he asked rhetorically. I knew he would make it for me regardless of my answer, nevertheless I answered in the affirmative.
"So," he began once the water had begun to warm up, "what's the problem?"
I began to explain to him the series of pains I had been feeling as well as the climax of that pain the night before. When I had finished, he sat staring out the window with a thoughtful look on his face. Turning back to me, he asked me a question I was completely not prepared for.
"Are your affairs in order?"
"What?" I asked, blinking in surprise.
"If something happens to you or Marlin, are your affairs in order?"
"I…yes, but it isn't that serious, is it?" I asked, stunned.
"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I was just asking. You see, since I'm the resident lawyer here, and I'm thinking of retiring and moving back to Mineral Town," the doctor said apologetically.
"Huh, you scared me for a moment," I said with obvious relief.
"Well, from what you've told me about this condition, it appears to me that you are suffering from a severe case of a vitamin deficiency, among other things. Eat more bananas and drink more water and you should be fine. I don't need to remind you that sleep is a first rate medication, do I?" he said meaningfully.
"No, doctor, I know. I'm just so busy. But I'm fine," I assured him. The teakettle began to cry wildly, calling loudly for attention
The doctor frowned as he rose to remove the whistling teapot from the stove. I watched as he calmly lifted the flowered kettle from the stovetop and set it on a wood block that sat atop the counter. Plop, plop, went two bags of tea into the boiling water. After a minute he poured the light tea into a pair of mugs, one of which he handed to me.
"Drink that," he ordered, taking a sip of his own drink.
"I should really be getting back…" I began, but paused and took a sip of the tea when he gave me a look over the rim of his mug.
"I would," he began slowly, "consider hiring someone to help you on the farm until your boy is old enough."
"Doctor, I don't know if Seth will even consider taking over the farm," I said reasonably.
"You're right. He may be like his father in that matter," was the thoughtful response, "but Katie, I have the feeling you will not be able to run things as you once did."
"Why? I'm only twenty-three," I said, bewildered.
"I know. But I'm afraid a woman's body isn't made like a man's. It is astonishing that you have gone so long and worked so hard without any other problems until now. You came here five years ago and have not stopped working for a moment."
"Women are not inadequate," I said almost testily. That same view had been forced on me many times before, and I was tired of hearing it.
"That's not what I'm saying," the doctor groused, "I'm simply pointing out the fact that men are built for harder labor than woman are. And you have had no help whatsoever. It's taking a toll on your body. You have more problems that you should, I'm afraid. I have to run some tests to be sure, but…" the doctor hesitated before continuing, "if you have what I think you have, you won't be able to bear any more children."
My jaw tightened. I had wanted a girl, or a boy, anything healthy. I wanted another child. "Are you saying," I forced out, "that my punishment for working so hard is no more children?"
"I'm afraid so. If you want a definite answer I'll have to run some tests, but if it isn't an issue for you…"
"It is."
"Very well."
"When will I know?"
"Soon. Come over this way and we'll perform the tests. We should know twenty minutes after they are completed," was the answer.
An hour later I sat down to listen to the results. The doctor sighed as he rubbed his eyes and paced in front of me. My heart sank at the bad omen. "What did you find out?" I asked, unable to stand the waiting for much longer.
"It isn't as bad as I thought it would be," he began. At seeing the look of relief on my face he added, "But it could easily escalate. Heavy lifting and extreme work damages a woman's uterus. That can cause more problems than simply infertility."
"But can I have more children?" I asked.
"It seems you can, but I cannot be absolutely sure. Time will tell, I suppose," the doctor replied, "However, if you wish to remain healthy, get some help with the farm and take a break. Let someone watch it while you visit the mountains."
I wrinkled my nose at the thought. The mountains were either extremely cold or terribly hot. I wouldn't want to spend a long amount of time there, and from what the doctor was saying it would not be a short visit.
"Or go visit Mineral Town, if that is what pleases you. Perhaps Bushtown, even. It has a slightly different atmosphere than Mineral," he continued, "But wherever you go, take at least two weeks off. I would suggest a month, but I also know how impatient you are when it comes to waiting and healing," he finished with gentle teasing.
I smiled ruefully and thanked him for his help as I left. Now all I had to do was find someone to help me and try to explain the situation to Marlin. He believed he was ill, so perhaps he would have some sympathy for me and manage things for a while. I hoped we could all vacation together, but I did not know how Marlin would take the recent news.
XXX
When I left the doctor's home, the sun had set behind the yawning mountains that hid Mineral Town from view. On an impulse I decided to swing by the path that led to Mineral as I used to do when I was younger. The path to the mountain road was not a long one. I simply made my way through town, over the river bridge, past Vesta's farm and Galen's house on it little flower scattered hill, and then reached the foot of the mountains that surrounded the path.
I sighed happily as I listened to the howl of the wind rushing over the rock and through the trees. There had been a time when all I had wanted to do was visit somewhere other than Forget-Me-Not Valley. That was when I was approached with the opportunity to become a musician. But, true to its name, I could not forget the Valley and returned to it, my farm, and Marlin.
Marlin… I still had to tell him about my visit to the doctor. Turning away from the mountains I loved to view but not visit, I began my trek back to my home. I wondered briefly if it would be a good idea to tell him at all. Maybe I could just go on the way I had been for years. But the doctor's voice came back to me, "It can cause more than simple infertility problems." I had to tell him.
Later, when I walked through the door, the first thing I saw was Marlin prodding a large bulb of some sort on top of my dresser. "What's that?" I asked, looking for any excuse to put off telling Marlin.
"It's a new seed I've tried. It isn't firm enough, though, so I thought I'd…" he shrugged and stopped talking.
"And what?"
"Nothing." Marlin picked up his seed and walked out the front door and with him he took my opportunity to tell him what was going on.
I ran my hand across my tired brow and took a seat on Seth's bed as I pondered different ways of telling Marlin.
"Momma! Look!" Seth called as he burst through the kitchen door. In his little hands he held the odd rock he had found earlier in the day. I smiled as he brought it to me and set it on my lap for me to see.
"It's very pretty," I said with a smile as I lifted the stone.
"Sad?" Seth asked, peering at me with his inquisitive blue eyes. As he grew, his eyes became much brighter than his father's. They looked more like my own father's eyes.
I thought about his question and almost lied to him. But then I thought about what that could do to our relationship in the future and decided against it. "Yes, but I'll be okay," I said finally.
"Rock?" he asked, pointing at the stone with his two pointer fingers.
"No, you keep it for me," I replied, amused and thankful for his gift.
He smiled at this, patted my hand a bit, and then took his rock and ran off to play with it near Trouble, who was trying very hard to sleep in the corner of the room. I watched him play with the cat and the rock for a little while before treading slowly to the kitchen. Dinner wouldn't make itself, after all.
Taking a deep breath as I entered the log wall room, I glanced around at the appliances I appreciated so much. I'd gone without much before I had saved enough to expand on the house. I had also done part of the labor to knock a few numbers off of the price. I remember gathering up the nerve to ask Marlin if he would help me with the additions to the house, even if it was simply balancing the household totals.
"You're smarter than me at numbers," was his only reply. I had felt hurt and alone that he wouldn't even consider trying to learn something to help me out. Sure, he had his seed hybrids, but that was going nowhere fast. It wasn't that I wanted him to take over everything or to give up what he wanted, I simply wished for a little bit of help.
"So what makes you think he'll help now," I asked myself sadly.
"Who's helping?"
I spun around quickly when I heard Marlin's voice answer me back. There he was, standing in the doorway. I suddenly felt that if he could begin to at least attempt to heal, to become stronger, to assist in supporting his family, that I would fall in love with him again, not simply love him as the father of my son. Against my will, my heart pounded hard against my ribs as I prepared myself to explain my situation to him.
"Marlin," I started, unsure of what to say.
"Would you make dinner, Katie?" he asked when I didn't say anything for a moment, "It's getting late."
Normally I would have felt a bit hurt that he dismissed me so easily, but tonight the adrenaline rushed through my veins and I felt as if a balloon was swelling inside of me. I felt hope. He knew what it was like to be ill, to need help and healing. He would be able to sympathize and to help even a little bit.
"I will, but first I need to tell you something," I said, moving to sit at the table. Marlin joined me when I indicated he should. "I went to see the doctor today, and he told me something that you need to know. It affects all of us, and he said I'd need to make some changes," I said carefully.
"Are you pregnant?" Marlin asked abruptly, looking uncomfortable.
"No," I said quietly. He didn't want another child. It didn't matter. "I may not be able to have anymore children…"
"We have Seth," Marlin said.
"It's not just that," I interrupted, "I'm sick."
Marlin frowned and said nothing.
"It's not serious yet, but it could be. He told me I can't work as hard or as long as I have been, or I'll have problems," I continued. "I'll need your help, Marlin."
I stayed silent as I watched my husband think. Soon he broke the silence.
"We're going to lose the farm," he said finally.
I stared at him in shock. "Why would you say something like that?" I asked, stunned.
"You can't work, I can't work. We'll lose the farm," he reiterated.
"No we won't, Marlin. Why are you being like this? It's just a problem that needs a solution."
"It's true, that is why I said it."
"Just… I'll hire someone to help around here. We'll be fine," I said, beginning to recover from my surprise.
How could that be what he thought? To give in so easily was not right.
"But the doctor did say I need to get away for a while and go somewhere to relax. I was thinking about Bushtown. I lived there for a while with my mother, and I was thinking I could visit some old friends and introduce you and Seth to them," I said, trying to turn the conversation toward the positive.
"I can't go," he said. "I'm not well enough to travel, you know that. And being around too many people tires me," he said gently.
"Then… will you watch things here when I go?" I asked, my heart once again beating hard enough to escape my rib cage.
"I can't," he said simply.
I felt the balloon pop. The sudden deflation of my hope left me feeling empty alone. "Please, I need you. I need your help, Marlin. When I'm well you won't have to do anything other than work with your seeds, but right now I'm asking you to aid me," I nearly begged. Please.
"Katie…"
"Forget it," I snapped, turning my head away to hide the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.
"What do I do with Seth while you're gone?" he asked.
"Nothing. I'm taking him with me," I said. My throat clenched painfully.
"How long will you be gone?" he asked. He didn't want to be separated from Seth for long. At least he loved his son.
"A month at most," I replied, taking on an indifferent tone.
Marlin nodded, hesitated, and then nodded once more before he rose from the table and walked back into the living room. I spent a few seconds after he left tying in vain to compose myself. Soon it became too much for me to hold inside. Sobs clawed up my throat and escaped into the chill night air of the kitchen. I hoped Seth did not hear me.
I don't know how long I sat there crying alone, but I do know that when I ceased I was more determined than ever to make the trip to Bushtown. Perhaps there I would be able to move on and learn to live with what I had and accept what I did not have. Maybe I would learn to accept my husband's limitations.
The following day I spent settling the farm and speaking to Vesta about the situation. She agreed to help run the farm while I was gone. She would also enlist the help of a man who had just moved to the Valley and was looking for work.
"He has a child of his own to care for, and he's recently widowed," Vesta had told me, "the child is but a babe. Poor little girl."
With that settled and Takakura informed, I went to ask Seth if he wanted to come with me. I believed in giving him choices as often as I could. When I posed the question, he nodded consent. He would rather go with his momma.
The morning we left was not an easy one for me. Seth seemed excited to be able to ride in the wagon we had borrowed from Galen, who said he didn't need it anymore, and Rook our horse seemed as happy as Seth to be going on a trip. After Takakura and I had loaded the luggage, I hugged him goodbye and turned to Marlin, who was there to see us off.
"Are you sure you won't come?" I asked him quietly.
"I've had to change my life twice before. I can't do it again, Katie," he said softly.
"Then I'll say goodbye. We'll be back by the end of the month, if all goes well," I replied.
"Okay."
Turning away, I began to walk toward the wagon where Seth was bouncing on his seat when a sudden impulse seized me. Whirling quickly, I took Marlin's head in my hands and kissed him on the mouth. He didn't react at first, but then kissed me back and even put his arms around me.
"I'll miss you," he said when we pulled apart. He stepped back as if nothing had happened. Again I felt my hope falter.
"You too," I said.
I turned away, not looking back as I climbed onto the wagon and took the reins. I didn't look back as crossed the border of my land. I wasn't sure whether or not I would regret this later. But it was my choice, and I made the one I thought was best. That's all I can do for now.
I'm not sure how this turned out, so let me know what you think. Maybe it will get better, but maybe not. I don't know. Tell me if it seems to match at all with the first part.
If I do another it will most likely be the trip to Bushtown or an event when Seth is about ten or so. After that it would be when he was a teenager, then young adult. But that's getting a little too far ahead.