The Power the Dark Lord Knows Not:

Disclaimer:I own a dog and a cat and a turtle and two cars (Ok, the bank owns the second one) But I don't own Harry Potter. Inspired by CRYS's: 1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort

Harry Potter sat in the Gryffindor Common room, working on his potions essay when a despondent Dobby appeared behind him with a crack. Harry jumped up, startled by the House Elf. "Dobby!" Harry reached up, clutching at his chest.

The small creature twisted his ears and cried. "D-Dobby is sorry, Harry Potter Sir."

"Don't worry about it Dobby, no harm done" Harry said, patting his shoulder.

At these words, Dobby started crying even more. "B-But, D-Dobby is causing great harm H-Harry Potter" He started banging his head into a small desk, next to the couch Harry was sitting on.

Harry grabbed Dobby again, stopping the Elf from causing greater harm. "Dobby, I doubt that you could cause any harm."

"B-But Dobby did, Hary Potter, Sir." Dobby reache up and grabbed Harry's shirt, pulling Harry closer to his face. "Dobby is just hiding the Body before coming here."

"The WHAT? Dobby what do you mean the Body!?!?!"

Dobby began to tell Harry what had happened.

"Dobby was cleaning the nasty dirty Laundry of your roommates, Great wizards that they are to be sharing room with the Greatest, Harry Potter sir. I was banishing sheets from Harry Potter, Sir's bed.. Dobby so loves changing Harry Potter Sir's sheets… when Dobby was scared like Dobby has never been scared before! I heard a noise under Harry Potter's Bed. It was a man, and he was talking to something in his hand, a mirror or a hair brush, Dobby isn't sure. The man was saying into his hairbrush 'Wormtail' he is saying' youse is better being right about this plan, the secret passages is getting me into this far.' Well after Dobby is hearing this, Dobby let out a little squeak of terror, as us house elves do sometimes, and he turned from under the bed and… it was awful Harry Potter, Sir! Well, HE was there, hiding under Harry Potter Sir's Bed. I was seeing his eyes, just like Dobby has been hearing about in the Kitchens! Dobby was so scared that Dobby banished him instead of the sheets that Dobby was supposed to be changing to the place where the sheets go to be cleaned, I banished HIM.! Dobby is so sorry Harry Potter Sir!" Dobby stared hitting himself again.

"Dobby, what are you talking about? Who was under my bed? It wasn't…"

"He –Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Harry Potter Sir!"

Harry jumped up so fast that the couch that he was sitting on almost fell over. "Voldemort, Here!?!?!"

Dobby fell over with fright when Harry jumped up. "Harry Potter is a Great wizard, to say HIS name!" Dobby looked up from his position on the floor. "No sir, he isn't here any more, I banished him to the laundry, Sir!"

"We have to tell somebody Dobby! He's here!"

"No Sir, he isn't Sir. I banished him sir to the Laundry."

Harry looked at the excitable house elf. "We have to stop him Dobby, where is the Laundry?"

"Well, Harry Potter Sir, you know how Dobby is being knowing that Gillyweed can make you breath under water? Dobby is being knowing that because the Merfolk do the washing part of the Laundry in the deepest part of the lake."

"and you banished Voldemort to the deepest part of the lake?"

"You must not say his name Harry Potter Sir!"

"That doesn't matter right now Dobby!" What happened to him?"

"Well Dobby is realizing that Dobby was doing something naughty, sending a human to the bottom of the lake without his wand.."

"Wait, You disarmed Voldemort?"

"Oh no, Harry Potter Sir, Dobby is just forgetting to banish wand with the Wizard. Bad-Nasty Wizard Goes, Wand Stays"

"So Voldemort was at the bottom of the lake with no Wand…" Harry Sat down again. "So, I assume that he drowned at the bottom of the lake then?"

"Oh no, Harry Potter Sir" Dobby is not being allowed to let anyone drown, even mean- nasty wizard like HIM. Dobby is rescuing HIM. HE was very angry at Dobby, even though Dobby was promising to punish himself. Then he was even more angry when Dobby was forgetting HIS wand in Harry Potter Sir's Room. HE demanded that Dobby Dry him off"

"So what did you do Dobby?"

"Well, Dobby was so frightened, Dobby did what any house elf would do after something goes in washer. Dobby is sending him to the Dryer."

"Dobby.. what is the Dryer?" Harry asked slowly.

"Dryer is Dragon named Lucille in the basement. She makes clothes very dry VERY quickly. Bad man Get burnt. Dobby just tried to get him dry, Lucille just got scared, like Dobby did. She burned the bad man."

Harry looked at the House Elf Hopefully." So HE," Harry said purposefully, "died from Dragon Burns?"

Oh, No, Harry Potter Sir, Dobby is healing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Dobby still is apologizing to bad, bad man. Dobby is so scared. HE said that Dobby was to put him back where I got him under the bed. Bad man was most insistent about being put back, so Dobby thinks to Dobby's self, Bad man is washed and Dried, So Dobby will put him away, like he is asking.

"So how did he die, Dobby?"

"Dobby is not thinking, remember that Dobby is very, very scared. So Dobby is doing what Dobby always does when putting things away…"

"What is that Dobby?"

"Well, Harry Potter, Sir. Dobby is… is Folding… him sir. Dobby is breaking his neck when Dobby is doing that.. Dobby is sorry Sir."

Harry started laughing… he laughed louder and louder. "I am so glad that I did all the Chores at the Dursley's!!!! The Power the dark Lord knows not is the power of clean Laundry and really good room service!!!!!!!!"

A/N OK, silly I know.. But when the Bunny Bites..