A/N: This is for MsEllie14's St Berry contest. This is for the "sad" category. But don't worry-there still is some humor :D
Sit In My Corner
She is staring again. She knows that she is and she tells herself that it is wrong-he could catch her-but she goes on staring, anyway. He is sitting by himself in the small café that she is unlucky enough to be working at. He is also sitting in what is unluckily her section. She considers asking someone to take over. They had history after all. She could go into explaining their unusual relationship. Describe the histrionic ending.
Rachel loves telling a story but even she does not want to go into that again.
"What would Barbra do," she mutters, already knowing the answer. Barbra Streisand would stride up, take his order, and act as if nothing had happened. She would make him sorry for ever losing her. Rachel intends to do just this and is feeling quite confident until his eyes land on her.
A full year and one look still makes her shiver.
"Rachel," he breathes out, a half-smile on his lips. She notices that he is devoid of all charm at that moment and inwardly praises herself for being able to render him charmless. In a calm voice she says, "Hello Jesse."
"You work here?"
She pulls at her work-issued shirt and quips, "You think I'd wear this color otherwise?"
"It brings out your eyes," he says, regaining that trademark charm.
"What do you want," she asks with a half smile, pulling her pad of paper from her back pocket.
"I'll start with coffee. No milk."
"Of course not," Rachel says, still looking down at her pad. She looks up and says, "Let me guess, gig later?"
He nods. "Gotta sound my best."
"Well, good for you. UCLA seems to be working out well for you, then."
"I like it," he says. "Of course there are some things that I miss. But I'm happy."
"Well, that's good." She tucks the pad of paper back into her pocket. "I'll be right back with your coffee."
She walks over to the kitchen and finds her friend Wendy waiting by the door. Wendy glances obviously over Rachel's shoulder and scowls. "You always get the hot ones, Rach."
"What are you talking about?"
"That guy you were talking to. He was definitely into you, too."
Rachel snorts as she pours him his cup of coffee. "Either way, it doesn't matter."
"What do you mean? Look, you have been all mopey and shit since you and that dope Finn ended things. Rebound, anyone?"
"We've already dated," Rachel says, striding past Wendy as her mouth drops to just about the floor. She can hear her swear behind as the door swings closed. She pads over to him with the coffee and sets it down in front of him.
"Are you ready to order?"
"Pulled pork sandwich," he says, handing her the menu. "Extra BBQ sauce on the side."
She tries to avoid looking at him too much as she says, "I'll tell the cook."
"So, I heard you finally hooked the great Finn Hudson."
She doesn't like him mentioning Finn. It feels too personal. Besides, there should be a rule that exboyfriends cannot comment on any forthcoming relationships. It is uncomfortable.
"I saw the video of you two singing from Regionals," he says, not catching onto her silence or deliberately ignoring it. "He tends to go flat, no?"
"Well, it was good enough for us to win."
He leans back in the booth. "I heard. I also heard that talent has gone a bit slim since I graduated."
She knows it is a joke but her eyes narrow. "Just because you are jealous does not mean that you need to attack him. And I'm not seeing him. We broke up two weeks ago." Before he can say anything she shoves the paper into her back pocket and turns on her heel. Wendy is waiting for her as she storms into the kitchen, a slur of swears leaving her mouth.
"I'm guessing you did not have a good ending," Wendy says from the stove.
"No," Rachel says shortly. "Not at all."
"He does look kinda like an ass. A hot ass, though."
"Wendy," Rachel warns. "This is so not the time."
"Aw, hunny, you actually look upset."
"I'm fine," Rachel says stoutly, sticking out her chin. Again she resorts to WWBD. Barbra would remain stoic and Rachel refuses to be anything but that. Stoic, she will be. Wendy plays with the flame on the stove and says, "I can accidentally spill something on him. Tomato juice is a bitch to get out, you know."
Rachel smiles. "No, it's fine. I am capable of being a professional even if he is not."
"Ouch, biting. I like it."
"Oh, he wants a pulled pork sandwich. With extra BBQ sauce."
Wendy wrinkles her nose at the last suggest. "What a boy. Hey, want me to spit into the sauce?"
Rachel smiles indulgently. "No, don't do anything to his food. I'll be back. I have other tables to get to."
"Be strong!"
Rachel has to walk past his table on her way to one in the back and is happy to not feel his eyes on her. Moments later she is disappointed. It's not that she wanted him to be staring at her like some creep. But Rachel, by nature, craved attention. She craved eyes on her and his had always been particularly exhilarating. He was a talent similar to hers. His attention was worth twice as much as a normal person. She takes the person's order in front of her without really hearing. She can hear Jesse on the phone behind her. She only hears snippets but it is enough to catch her attention.
After taking the order she is careful not to make eye contact with him but is surprised when she feels his hand touch her arm. She jumps as if she has been burned and he immediately blurts out an apology.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he says, his hand covering the mouthpiece of his phone. "Look, I wanted to apologize about what I said earlier. I was out of line."
She blinks rapidly. An apology. While he is partially on the phone with someone else. Jesse St James never fails to surprise.
"Okay," she stammers.
"I guess I just never got over losing you to him. But, I really only have myself to blame. Anyway, sorry for being a jerk."
"Apology accepted."
"Good, well-" he nods his head toward the phone with a sheepish grin and she says, "Oh, yeah, back to your phone call."
He nods and she walks back to the kitchen, almost feeling in a trance. Wendy is finishing his sandwich and when she takes one look at Rachel's face she says, "You are having way too much excitement today, Rach."
"Did you spit in it?" she asks.
"No, you said not to."
Rachel feels one twist in her stomach come undone. "Okay, good. Finish up and then I'll take it to him."
Wendy nods, finishes the sandwich, and then pushes it toward Rachel who picks it up quickly and heads out to the table. She stops in front of his table and he is just finishing up his phone call. What she hears makes her nearly drop his plate.
"Yeah, I should be back on campus soon, Allison," Jesse says. "Yeah, I'll bring the movie tonight. And no, it will not be another musical." The girl Allison must say something funny because he laughs and then says, "Alright, I will see you soon. Yeah, love you too."
He hangs up and then smiles at Rachel. "That was quick."
She can barely speak, the conversation that she had overheard playing over in her mind. She puts down the plate without a word and walks back to the kitchen. This time she can feel his questioning eyes on her back and hates it. She walks past Wendy, into the back of the kitchen and hears his voice in her head.
I should be back on campus soon.
Allison.
Love you, too.
It shouldn't have surprised her that he moved on but somehow it still does. After a moment a growing curiosity gets the best of her and she moves back toward the door, peering at him through the glass. She sees that another one of her tables behind him is low on water and she takes the pitcher and heads out of the kitchen. As she passes his table she hears his phone go off and she pales when she recognizes the ringtone.
Another one bites the dust.
And another one goes.
And another one goes
Another one bites the dust
She realizes now the irony of the song. The words had rung true when she first heard them, watching in confusion as he sang on her stage. Another one had bit the dust, indeed. They had.
She fills all the water glasses on the table and then walks past him again. She forces herself to turn and face him as she dutifully asks, "Everything alright here?"
He nods and gives her an amicable smile. "It's really good."
"Well, good."
"Hey, when-"
She turns before he can finish his sentence. She doesn't want him to ask when she is off because she will be unable to stop telling him that it is only in a half hour and he will undoubtedly wait for her and she cannot have that. The truth is that she is still intoxicated by his presence. She is still breathless from one look. And now he is someone else's and she has no right being intoxicated or breathless by someone else's boyfriend.
She hides in the kitchen until she sees that he has finished. She waits five minutes, Wendy watching her suspiciously, before she leaves with his check. She knows that he didn't ask for it and her boss would tell her that she was rushing a customer but she doesn't care. She wants Jesse St James to leave. And she never wants to see him again.
"Thanks," he says, taking the check. "And I really am sorry about earlier. In fact, I'm sorry about pretty much everything I have done to you."
She knows that she takes his words too literally but still feels a distinct sting. She doesn't mean to wait for him to fill the check but she ends up doing so anyway and he pulls a twenty from his wallet and tells her to keep the change. His bill is only eleven dollars which makes this a ridiculously large tip. It's almost an insulting one like he wants to get her away from the table as quickly as possible. The only condolence is that she doesn't have to face him again. She steals away into the kitchen and takes her post at the window again to watch him leave. Wendy stands beside her and lays a consoling hand on her shoulder.
"Seeing exes always sucks."
Rachel frowns. "You can say that again."
"Want me to bus it?"
Rachel nods, knowing that she will still be able to smell his cologne. Wendy disappears out the door and Rachel turns back into the kitchen. She busies herself by walking around, checking on other orders. After a moment she sees the food for another of her tables is ready and she puts it on a tray and heads out. She sees Wendy is no longer busing the table, instead staring down at something on the table. She doesn't pay much attention until Wendy says, "Hey, Rach, you're gonna want to see this."
She joins her at the table and finds what Wendy had been staring at. There on the table is a napkin with a hastily scrawled note. She recognizes his handwriting immediately and feels something akin to a pin pricking the back of each of her eyes. In his usual chicken scratch handwriting he had written:
Rachel, it was nice seeing you.
I wish you nothing but the best for your future.
I know I'll be seeing you soon enough on the covers of magazines.
Who knows, one day maybe we'll share one.
Take care.
Jesse
"Damn, this is just like out of a movie."
Rachel takes the napkin and balls it up in her fist. Silently she walks over to the garbage and throws it in. Wendy is looking at her warily as she finishes cleaning Jesse's table. Once she is done, Rachel collects plates from her other table and then walks back into the kitchen. She puts them in the sink to soak and then stands in front of the mound of suds. Ten minutes pass before she walks out of the kitchen, to the waste bin, and fishes out Jesses' letter. She tells Wendy that she is taking her break and steps outside. She leans against the wall of the café and unfolds it, trying to press out the wrinkles.
Leaning against the wall with his letter in her hand she softly murmurs what she had hid for a full year. "Jesse, I miss you."
A/N: If you like this, please review. If you can-do not just add it to favorites and call it a day. I love to hear my reader's thoughts and would appreciate it if you would take the time to share them with me.