Hitomi: Well, better late than never.

I am going to write this instead of the original idea I had for Lavi's birthday coming up. A little ficlet based on the incident of Rue being stolen/plagiarized. Well, I need to somehow vent all of my negative feelings from the experience, so here we go.

To Le Bitch, who had not only dared to steal artwork of Rue but also had the nerve to modify her biography profile (and anything else I had established for her in DGM canon) in order to fit your selfish desires. Bonus points for claiming Rue was yours when she never was to begin with, not to mention it's hilarious you would even say that when all evidence was and still is stacked against you.

Hope you regret making that poor imitation because you'll never be able to create a decent character like her. I bet you that you can't even write well, even if it slapped you in the face.

WARNING: Crack, some OOC, breaking the fourth wall, smartassery, sprinkling of purple prose and clichés, OC murder.

Also, bear with me. It's been a long time since writing something like this. It's mostly funny, not serious. It's a parody for a reason. So, don't take this seriously.

EDIT: Any negative reviews that are not concrit (ex: bashing, personal attacks, etc.) will either be removed (if anonymous) or ignored (if signed).

Disclaimer: I do not own D . Gray-Man, Hoshinou Katsura-sensei does. The only thing(s) I do own in here would be my OC(s).

Burn the Counterfeit | I

Typical... or is it?

In the barren wasteland that was Edo, where Akuma roamed far and wide, there was an unspeakable evil lurking afoot. Deep within Noah's Ark was the Millennium Earl, who was too busy scheming on creating a new Akuma for a particular... experiment.

"Ah yes~ With her madness and grief, I'll be able to harness to turn it into this beauty~ " Grinning like he discovered the next best thing since sliced bread, the Earl continued typing into the machine, inputting valuable data. At the corner of the computer screen was a picture of a familiar Exorcist and whatever information he had collected of her since she came to the Black Order.

"She's been giving such a big contribution to my cause, even if she doesn't know. Creating that clone from her dead comrade had been enough to break her, but…" Cackling, he rubbed his hands together. One could've sworn a lightning strike came in perfect timing at his moment of diabolical plotting. "Surely, she won't be able to stand up to this~ I'm pretty sure she'll be thrown off from what she's used to dealing with."

Oh, for the love of DGM, I get it's in your character to put in hearts and music notes in your dialogue, but you're being ridiculous, Earl. Quite.

"Now, now, don't be like that~ Are you not used to one in my role smiling so much?"

Only because it's you. Keep that cheery attitude up and I'm going to start calling you Mary Poppins again.

"Don't you dare call me that!" He growled, a dark glare sent to the ceiling. "You and Cross are going to be pay for that!"

Well, you can't threaten a disembodied voice now, can you? And FYI, I have no grief, so you can't summon Akuma in the real world.

"Curses!"

"Wow, bad writing much?" A deep, suave voice entered into the Ark's heart, belonging to none other than Tyki Mikk. Striding into the room, he gave a raised eyebrow to the ceiling. "Either you had too much sugar or you're lacking sleep. I see clichés everywhere. And what's with the opening sentence of this chapter?!"

Excuse you, but I didn't ask for you to critique my writing! It's hard to write a story in this sort of style. Besides, aren't you the one who claimed to have no education when helping Road with homework, Mr. Sex on Legs?

"H-Hey!" His face flushed heat, scowling. "Don't push your luck or else Sleeping Beauty will get it."

Riiiiight. She hates you so much, she'll burn you with Deathtrap.

ANYWAY.

"Are you almost done, Millennium Earl?" While saying this, Tyki kept a wary eye on the tube/incubator, where the creation was resting. "You've been taking an awful long time to work on this Akuma…"

"Do not fret so much, Tyki-pet~ Remember, it does take a bit of a while for humanoid-like Akuma to be born. In this case, though… She's special. Because she was created from a certain someone, after all."

With the last of inputting data, the tube connected to the computer glowed brightly for an instant. Tyki ended up shielding his eyes due to the intensity. After a few minutes, it dimmed and the room went back to normal.

The Earl couldn't stop bouncing in his steps once the contraption made the glass barrier disappear. So to give modesty to the Akuma, her appearance wasn't seen due to the Earl's body while he was dressing it up in particular attire. Once finished, he stepped back and smiled like a father greeting a newborn child. Tyki's eyes widened at the sight of the Akuma.

"Well, my dear~ " Putting a finishing touch (an eye patch over the right eye), the Earl smirked. "Are you ready to destroy the Exorcists? "

A salute, along with a soft smile was all the two men needed to know. Not the kind of face Tyki was used to seeing from the real one.

"Yes sir, Millennium Earl. And I'll make sure I will take him away from her too."

Hitomi: And thus... Chaos begins.

;A; Damn it, why'd they have to remove the hearts and music notes in the Earl's dialogue? Blasted format.

Credit to Allen The Musician for making a joke/comparison of the Millennium Earl to Mary Poppins. The fic in question is called Millennium Earl or Mary Poppins?. I suggest you read it. It's hilarious.

Well, anyway, if you're wondering, this may take place somewhere before the Alma arc. But I can't be too definitive about it because it's somewhat of Unravel spoilers. But yeah, this is before the Alma arc happened and when Lavi and Rue are... in not so good terms at the moment.

This is a ficlet. About 4 to 5 chapters at the most. Nothing too big.

Anyway, happy birthday to the stupid rabbit we all know and love! Love you lots, Lavi!