Unrequited
Author Note: This is written as a request for my friend Angie. As requested it is written in first person. I agree with her that Kat wouldn't have just gladly stepped aside to let Tommy go back to Kim. I think there would have been a lot of heartache and anger. And remaining friends with someone after they shatter your heart is nearly impossible. So this is my attempt at real human emotions for Kat if Tommy had left her. Which we all know that I personally do not think would have happened.
I'm only just beginning to write heavy emotion, so I don't think that I was unable to convey all the turmoil of emotions that I think Kat would have experienced. I'm usually a fluffy romance writer. And this is my first fic in which I wrote first person. So tell me what you think, did I do okay?
Please be kind as it is my first time writing in this style. Please no flames, well then again if you must I could always use them to roast my marshmallows. LOL
"You're what?!" I scream into the phone, unsure that I heard him right. "How can you do this to me?! I thought we had something! I thought we were in love!"
"Kat! Please don't make this any harder than this already is. I can't keep pretending. I'm not in love with you Kat. I never was. I'm sorry that I led you on. I hope that we can still be friends" On the other end of the line, I hear his voice breaking as he speaks. If it's so hard to break up with me, why's he doing it?
"You're sorry? That's all you have to say? Three years I've given you and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'! I… Just go away Tommy Oliver! I hate you!" I slam the phone down with more force than necessary. I know that on his end he'll hear the same damn click as if I had just set it down.
My emotions are in a whirlwind. I can't tell if I want to cry or hit something. I roughly bite my lip as I head to the kitchen. Trying to remain composed, for no reason other than my own sanity, I open the fridge to get a glass of tea. But the sweet brown liquid quickly reminds me of Tommy's soft eyes.
Anger! That's what I'm feeling. Without warning I throw the glass of tea across the room watching with satisfaction as the glass shards scatter across the floor and tea pools under the dinning table. Still I'm feeling more anger. Again I bite my lip as I unconsciously slam my fist into the wall. I can feel a knuckle crack, but I don't care. I relish the pain as if it would take away from the heartache I was feeling.
I finally let myself fall to my knees and start sobbing uncontrollably. This can't be happening! I'm having a horrible nightmare! I'm going to wake up and Tommy will still be mine!… The pain in my hand let's me know that I am very much awake and this really is happening. Tommy, the love of my life, had dumped me. Why couldn't he have said something three weeks ago when he was here in London with me? Why did he have to do it over the phone? Cause it would have been his face instead of the wall.
I feel my lips pull into smirk at the idea of letting loose a punch into his perfectly handsome face. Yet the idea of causing him pain sends another ping into my heart. I couldn't hurt Tommy, even if I had the chance. I love him, even if he doesn't love me, I will always love him.
Yet, I just can't contain this anger at what he's done to me. Again I can feel myself go into autopilot as I stand from my kitchen floor. I walk into my bedroom unsure of what I was doing. I quickly pick up the porcelain cat that Tommy had brought with him on his last visit. "Why does everyone think that I like cats?! I prefer dogs anyway!" I screamed to the emptiness of my room. I threw the cat across the room and watched as it too shattered. I grabbed the pair of pink sapphire earrings Tommy had given me last year for my birthday. I just couldn't stand the sight of anything that he gave me.
I walked into the bathroom and dropped the earrings into the toilet. Such a shame, I really did like those earrings too. I pulled the handle and with a rush of water the earrings were no more.
I felt empty, there was no feeling left inside of me. I was consumed by the pain, both emotionally and physically. I felt my chest tighten every time I saw something Tommy had given me or been with me when I got it. My hand hurt, I knew full well that it was broken, but I still didn't care.
The afternoon was a blur to me as I continued to vent my anger out on my belongings. Picture frames were smashed and the actual pictures were ripped apart. Little porcelain figurines were shattered across the floor, jewelry was thrown out windows or flushed down the toilet.
My eyes came to rest on my lovely queen size bed. Tommy and I had made love in it while he was here three weeks ago. Again my mind began to race. Why would he do that with me and then break up with me? Is that all I was to him? Just a pussy to fuck? I hate him!
Rage took over my body once again as I grabbed the comforter off the bed. I just had to get rid of it and those sheets. We laid tangled up in the them sleeping in each others arms. "Why Tommy?!" I clutched the comforter to my chest as I sank to the ground, letting my tears fall onto the pale pink material. "Why does it hurt so much?"
"Oh my God! What happened here?! Kat?!" a frantic female voice called from my living room. Who the hell would be at my place. "Katherine! Answer me!" Finally my brain makes the connection with the voice.
"Rachel?" I whisper. I had forgotten that my only friend here in London was supposed to come over for dinner. I found myself unable to move from my place on the floor. I was only able to clutch the blanket tighter.
"Kat?" Rachel's soft voice called from my bedroom doorway. "What happened honey? Your place is a wreck. Did someone break in?"
"No." I reply without looking at her. "I did it all."
"What?! Why would you destroy all your things?" I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I turned to look at her. I couldn't stop them anymore, and I didn't want to either. I couldn't just sit back and pretend that nothing was wrong. "Kat, sweetie, what's wrong?" Rachel asked as she rushed to my side.
"Tommy…" I felt the lump catch in my throat. The rage that I thought was finally suppressed surfaced again. My body began to shake as the bile rose in my throat.
"What about Tommy?" Rachel asked trying to stay calm, but that was the last thing I wanted from her. I wanted her to hate Tommy too. I wanted her to say that she would make him pay, but I knew Rachel would never say those things. She would just try and comfort me and help me move on, but it's not what I want to do.
"He left me." I finally managed to spit out. Just repeating it out loud caused the storm of emotions to replay throughout my body. I wanted to cry all over again and hit something or someone until they felt as bad as I did.
"Oh Kat. I'm so sor…" I had to cut her off. I couldn't bear to hear that phrase again today. Maybe not ever again.
"Please don't say that. I can't hear it anymore. That's all Tommy had to say."
"That's all he said?" Rachel asked raising her eyebrow
"He also said he wants to remain friends." I scoffed. As if I would even talk to him again!
"Insensitive jerk!" Rachel shook her head. "Kat, your hand…"
"I punched the wall." I shrugged, unsure of how she will react.
"Well, we should go get it looked at. Then you're going to come stay with me for a couple of days. I'll have Daisy come over and clean up your place."
"I can't come back here Rachel. He was here three weeks ago… we… he… I just can't!" I bit my lip once again knowing that it was probably raw from all the times I had bit it.
"I'll help you through this Kat. You can stay with me as long as you need." Rachel said taking hold of my arm to help me stand. I let her led me away from the chaos that I had created in my own home, toward her awaiting car.
I sat silent in the car as she drove through the streets of London to the hospital. What more could I say? I had nothing left in me, nothing but anger and hatred for a man that I also knew deep down that I would love till my dying day. And he felt nothing for me in return. Absolutely nothing. Love is so unfair.