It was simply maddening. How could you have lost? Of all the things that could of it happened -
It didn't make sense. It wasn't fair. You were a God -
No. No. You are a God.
Fuck. It wasn't fair and it didn't make sense. And nothing made sense, since the day you picked up that damned notebook, and met fucking Ryuk. Who still is and was your problem.
And it's not fair how you ended up here, in pitch black. Surrounded in your memories and misery, and up to this point, you're not even sure what the difference is anymore. And it's surprising how nothingness, really meant nothingness.
Nothingness is a place with nothing, and no one, but you and yourself. And even though you're here, and you're dead, being in this place so long is like dying over and over and over again. And this place slowly causes you to lose your mind, it snatches every ounce of humanity away from you, and it takes whatever is left of you and slowly devours it until there's nothing left but a small strain of your beautiful hair. And it's painful, and maddening, and cruel, and evil. And it's definitely not a place for a God to spend his afterlife.
And you hate everyone, and all of them can go fuck themselves for all you care. And fuck Ryuk, fuck Misa, fuck Mikami, Fuck L, Near, Mello. All of them. Fuck them all. Compared to you, and your brain, and your abilities, they were all worthless. Worthless, useless. Same thing.
And you're going to die here, over and over and over and over and over again. Again and again and again and again and again. And it's going to devour you effortlessly, and it's not going to look back and think about you. It's not going to think of you as a God.
And all you can think about over and over again is how unfair it is.