Title: Song Shuffle
Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or these characters (darn it!) nor am I making any money off them (darn it!). No infringement intended.
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating: T
Summary: This is not my usual fare. It was written as an exercise and little more. It's 10 little ficlets written while 10 different songs played on my iTunes
DO NOT GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORY
(and forgive my double entendre :) )
A/N (because I can): This is not my usual fare. This is not anything like what I normally write. It was written as an exercise and little more. Mostly an exercise to get my creative juices flowing again since I'm hitting a bad block right now (thought I was over it, but I guess not) and also just as a stress relief. A while ago there was a meme about putting your tunes on shuffle and writing something to go with each song but you could only write as long as the song lasted. Well, it turns out it at least forced *something* / *anything* onto the page. So that was good. I wasn't going to post it but, there are a few tidbits I like. But, over all, if you haven't read my other stuffs, go read it as more representative of what I write. Oh, and, apparently I needed to exorcise some angst demon, because aside from a couple notable ones, these run to the angsty side.
Alright, enough disclaimers already?
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1. Keep Your Hands To Yourself (The Georgia Satellites)
Olivia about tripped over herself when she walked into the bar after work and found that the 'special surprise guest' Abbie had brought with her was none other Alexandra Cabot, their new-ish ADA.
Olivia had expected it to be awkward; it was anything but. Over the course of the night they shared drinks, stories, laughter and memories. The physical feelings she'd been harboring for the blonde attorney transformed slightly, emotional feelings niggling in as well.
And Abbie smirked when she purposefully let her hand brush against Alex's thigh knowing full well Olivia would catch her. "Hands off, Counselor" Olivia whispered into the brunette attorney's ear. "She's mine."
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2. Hate Me (Blue October)
It would be so much easier. So much easier. She wanted to hate her. She wanted to loathe her.
How DARE you not try to communicate with me. How DARE you shack up with some GUY while in the program. How DARE you leave again without even saying good-fucking-bye. And how DARE you return and not even drop by.
She wanted to hate her, god, she wanted to hate her, for all the things she did but even more for all the things she didn't do.
But she couldn't. She couldn't hate her.
Because she loved her.
And The Program, some guy, silence, nothing, nothing would change that.
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3. Life in a Northern Town (The Dream Academy)
Life really was simpler here. It really was. People did actually stop and talk to their neighbors. Kids actually set up lemonade stands in the summer. People waved when they drove by. People looked after your house when you were gone.
People noticed when you were gone.
It was… nice.
And so different. So foreign. Culture shock. America but not New York. And she wished she could explain to people that that wasn't meant as a slam, it really wasn't. It really was nice here.
It just wasn't home. That's all. It just wasn't home.
But, Alex wondered, would it be home if… if only Olivia were here.
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4. Tonight and the Rest of My Life (Nina Gordon)
Heavy. Weight. Gravity. Burden.
Words that describe being held down, being dragged down, to the ground, below the ground, no escape.
Words that described Olivia. The heavy responsibility. The weight of the job. The gravity of the situation. The burden she carried.
Before Alex.
The burden was still heavy, the job still weighed, the gravity of it all didn't diminish. But there was someone to help with the load now. Someone who understood. Someone who knew the truth and didn't run.
And for that moment, she felt light. And for that moment, just for a moment, she let herself believe she could feel that way for the rest of her life.
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5. All I Wanna Do (Sheryl Crow)
There were times, times when she wanted to just pack it in. Give up. There were ways, she knew, that the feds could funnel some of that family money to her and she could leave B.F.E., USA, quit this crappy job, forget her identity courtesy of the federal government and just make up her own, do what she wanted to do, live off the grid and fuck 'em all. Just…just have a little bit of fun, seek out a little bit of happiness.
And then she remembered Olivia's eyes and her smile.
And Alex knew she'd do anything, do whatever it took to get back to *that*. Because that's where happiness lay.
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6. Ghostbusters (Ray Parker, Jr.)
"You sure you want to stay here, Alex? This might be the only available room here but I'm sure if we just drove a little further we could find another hotel to crash at for the night."
"Why shouldn't we stay here?"
"Um, because of what the desk clerk said, about this room being haunted. I mean, I don't believe in that sort of stuff, but I don't want to make any decisions for you…"
Alex waived her hand, "I ain't afraid of no ghost."
Olivia frowned at the blonde.
"What?" Alex asked innocently.
"Did you just employ a double negative and a slang contraction?"
Alex laughed, "Who ya gonna call?"
"Did you just say 'ya' and 'gonna'?"
"What can I say, bustin' makes me feel good."
Olivia grabbed their bags and headed back out to the car.
"Olivia, where are you going?"
Olivia answered over her shoulder, "I don't know if the place is haunted or not but it's making you speak in 80's-song-ese and that's freaking me out a little. So, we're leaving."
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7. Who I Am (Jessica Andrews)
Alex had had dreams. Big ones. Her sights set high; being District Attorney of Manhattan was a mere stepping stone. Governor. Congresswoman. Senator. Hell, who knows what else?
But those were dreams before.
Before she entered the real world. When she found out that she could spend her life going for those goals, those dreams, at the exclusion of all other things.
Or she could, every day, enter a home where she was loved.
She wasn't always sure she made the right decision. But she tried. She tried to be Olivia's when she was able.
And Olivia understood. Most of the time.
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8. Deathly (Aimee Mann)
Olivia stared at the woman across from her. So long. So much time. So much water under the bridge. So many memories. So much pain. So much hope. So much pining after what might have been. So much aching for what could be.
It had taken two years but her heart had started to heal.
And then Alex had decided to quite literally walk down the street and back into her life, invited or not.
But though Alex was back in her life, she didn't have to be let back into her heart. That would be inviting the possibility of all that pain again.
Also all that joy.
She continued to stare as the blonde woman stared back at her. Waiting for Olivia to give her answer. No or …
Yes.
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9. The Stranger (Billy Joel)
Alex looked in the mirror. The person staring back at her was familiar enough. Long blonde hair, angular features, blue eyes. She smiled at her reflection. The smile almost looked genuine to her. She knew it would look genuine to those looking at her.
Behind that smile, behind those blue eyes, no one would know. Know the real her. Know her real history or even her real name. The real person behind that smile and those eyes would be a complete stranger to everyone in her life now. Completely unrecognizable. They had no idea.
She walked back into the bedroom, to the man sleeping in her bed.
She almost felt sorry for him.
Almost.
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10. Nobody Does It Better (Carly Simon)
It really was unfair. It really was.
You can be slamming a perp up against a wall. You can be taunting a suspect in the interrogation room. Or you could be arguing with your partner. Or just standing up putting your coat on. Heck, you could just be slumped at your desk studying a case file.
Or turning and smiling when you hear my voice.
It doesn't matter. Because it's like every movement of yours should be in slow motion with the most seductive soundtrack playing in the background. Actually, every movement of yours practically creates its own seductive soundtrack.
It really was unfair.
For everyone else, at least.
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