An Element of Blank

by Trefoil-underscore

Grillbz, previously a captain in the defeated Monster army and now reconning an abandoned wasteland, finds a silent skeleton who reminds him of someone he used to know.

There was no real reason for Grillbz to climb the watchtower near St. Agnes, but it was the only interesting feature for miles, so made a slight detour for it. The landscape was monotonous: abandoned fields scruffy with the first shoots of returning wilderness, abandoned houses in silent dull colors. Nothing of interest. Everything had been packed up or looted long before, and now even the looters had gone. Two wars, masterminding a genocide and finally an apocalyptic plague had thinned the humans down quite a bit, and Grillbz increasingly found himself wondering, bitterly, why the army couldn't have held out for just a few months longer, until the humans began dropping like flies. Casualties would have been regrettable, but they wouldn't have become trapped under the Barrier at least. The Barrier was for all purposes unbreakable, and would be for a long time.

The door stood open, and dust from the fields had drifted in, along with leaves. Grillbz walked to the stairs and began climbing. It was a simple building: round, with a staircase that clung to the wall and steadily ascended. The wooden steps creaked under his weight.

The top floor had four windows facing the four directions, and the Western one was lit up with red light as his head cleared the level of the floor. This room had been empty when he was last here, and sure enough—wait. He froze at the sight of an unknown dark object on the floor. After a moment he'd registered that it was a tall body in a long coat, lying curled on its side on the floor, facing away from him. The sunlight lay along the coat in rusty folds. His eyes flicked to the top, where part of the figure's head was visible above a hood that had fallen back. Bone. Either a dead human, then, or a living monster. He leaned forwards, searching for a hint of magic, and felt a faint resonance. It was a monster, and alive. More or less.

He swiftly descended the stairs and stood on the ground floor, alert for any life. He sensed nothing but the trickle of magic, almost too faint to register, from above. He hadn't seen anyone on his journey there. It was likely, then, that he and his new friend were utterly alone. He'd found a straggler of some sort.
It wasn't a trap. His instincts were going haywire. He carefully ignored them and climbed back up the stairs.
He approached the form, which still hadn't moved. It was a tall skeleton, male, in travel-stained clothing. With his hood pulled down he might look… not entirely human, but not obviously a skeleton. He was too tall to pass for human. Grillbz wondered if he were a boss monster—he remembered normal skeletons being closer to human size. It was hard to tell from the small amount of magic he was picking up. He looked young, not over thirty. And carrying silver. Grillbz reached for the sensation—cold, inert, lightly caustic—and turned the skeleton's left wrist over. He tugged the glove up and sleeve down, displaying the hilt of an ornamental dagger. Some monsters did carry silver-inlaid daggers, but they hadn't been used in the war—human biology did well with silver, but an accidental cut to a monster could dust for days. Probably not a soldier, then.
He re-hid the dagger, disliking the cold hard feel of it so close to his core.

Already the harsh red light was fading. Grillbz stood from his investigative crouch and quickly walked to each window. North: a patchwork of abandoned fields slowly turning to wilderness. East: abandoned fields, a few huts and a rough stone church. South: silent woods. West: black landscape against a red sky. He scanned the landscape, picking out shapes: huts, a dusty road, hedgerows straggling out to take over the yards and fields. He turned his eyes to the sky. The sun was already out of sight. The clouds kept a red stain.

The room was already a few shades darker when he turned back to the skeleton, but Grillbz' body functioned as a light source. He pulled the skeleton to the wall and propped him in a sitting position. His eyesockets were open, but empty. Grillbz leaned closer and caught a very faint glimmer. Twin points of light focused on his face, then went out.
". hello. . wasn't sure if you were awake, friend." He thought the skeleton was still looking at him, he couldn't be sure. ".how long have you been here?" the skeleton hesitated for several moments, then moved his hands. Grillbz leaned back and watched him fumble, then clumsily sign two in Wingdings. ".two..days?" they nodded. ".I don't think the view is that interesting myself. . what say you we move on in the morning, together?" They nodded again. ".you can call me Grillbz. . what's your name?" The points of light reappeared in the dark sockets, brighter this time, and the skeleton searched his face with what Grillbz thought was recognition. Which was startling, because he didn't remember this skeleton.

The skeleton looked down without answering. The reaction could have been anything, after all. Grillbz sat down with a sigh. The light was almost gone from the Western window, which shone dully red. The rest were black, except for a faint streak of sable cloud across the North. He didn't think he was likely to get anything else out of the skeleton that night.
".well.I'm going to get some should too." Grillbz shucked off his bearskin and pack, leaned the pack against the wall, and lay down on the bearskin. Scents of the woods he'd wandered through lifted from the fur as his heat warmed it. He let his light dull, not wanting any to be visible from the windows. Not that anyone was likely to see it.
The skeleton slowly folded itself back into the position it had been in when he first saw it and went still.

As he slipped closer and closer to oblivion, Grillbz let his memories chase circles in his head.

"You don't know any combat magic?"
"I can learn."
"You'd better learn fast."
"I will."
"You've never used bullets, even for something mundane?"
"I never needed to."
"I can't believe that."
"Try again. You have a powerful soul, but it won't save you if you don't harness the power. Is your magic driven more by your emotions or intellect?
"I… don't know?"
"Are you usually calm when you use your magic?"
"I think so."
Well good, he could work with this. What do you tell an emotion-driven person? Have More Feelings? But this was something he could work with. Finally.
"Alright, then. Focus, but don't try too hard. Remain calm. Balance is important."
He nodded. Shapes flickered in and out of the air.
"We just need to stabilize them," Grillbz said. "Don't force it. They're made of magic." He watched the smaller skeleton for a while. "Breathe." He suddenly remembered to breathe. "Gently. Do you want to stop?" He shook his head.
They were looking more solid—a small swarm of extremely basic, formless bullets. It was a start, he supposed. They'd change over time to suit his magic.

-He'd been wrong about that. They had never changed.

He watched dawn crawl slowly across the boards of the roof. It was the time when all the light was grey. Why was he thinking of Tavi again? Just because he'd met another skeleton? He rolled onto his side to check on the skeleton, who was still in the same position, still with eyes open.
".have you slept?"
He signed no.
Well, there wasn't any point in waiting now. Grillbz got up, pulled the bearskin low over his face and went from window to window. The landscape was motionless and empty as it had been the night before, but now had shreds of mist clinging to its hollows.

Grillbz came back to the skeleton and pushed them into a sitting position.
".I'm assuming you can walk."
they nodded.
". good. . because I'm not carrying you." He dug into a pocket, pulled out a small cloth packet tied with twine, untied it and placed it in the skeleton's hand. ".chew on this as we go.I don't know where else to find you food this time of year, and I want to keep moving.I don't eat."
The skeleton stared.
"..Gingerbread?"
Grillbz looked up in surprise. The skeleton's magic had flared for a moment, allowing them to speak, but he still hadn't quite caught it. It was a low voice, but that was all he could tell. They were a blank. He was having trouble reading anything.
".I like how it smells. .go on, eat it."
The gingerbreads were petrified from being carried close to a heat source for so long. The skeleton picked up a piece and tested it against his teeth. Grillbz found a comfortable position near the Eastern window, where he wouldn't be visible to anything outside but could watch the sun rise, and waited for the light to grow in the sky and the horizon to glow gold before he turned, pulled on his pack and settled the bearskin across his shoulders. The skeleton was still gnawing listlessly at the petrified gingerbread.
".take it with you, Gingerbread. . come on."
Maybe if he started calling the skeleton Gingerbread it would provide enough dissonance to prompt him to give his real name. It didn't seem likely at the moment, from his lack of a reaction. Well. He needed to call him something.
He helped Gingerbread stand, but after that he followed down the stairs without being prompted.

The air outside was thin and moist, the sun still lost somewhere beyond the horizon. Grillbz started down the road, disliking the moist curl of mist around his limbs. He pulled his bearskin closer around him.

"What is that? A spear?"
"No, a scythe."
"Haha."
"Hm?"
"Death, a skeleton with a scythe. Are you going for intimidation?"
"…no…"
"That wasn't intentional?"
"My grandfather designed a scythe, and gave it to my father's guardian. It's what I feel comfortable with."
"Well, then. Carry on."
"I can get it to manifest mid-swing, sometimes, but that's… not exactly dependable."
"No. But not all monsters can make weapon constructs. They're difficult to grasp. This is a good start."

He paused, feeling the emptiness of the chill damp air around him, the sprawling close plant life of the hedges. Wait a moment. He'd lost Gingerbread already. He was used to travelling alone, and Gingerbread had such a low magical pulse that he hadn't noticed when it had slipped away. He turned back. There he was, standing a hundred yards down the road behind him, staring into a misty field. Grillbz waited for a few moments for him to turn, then started back.

Gingerbread turned to face him once he'd halved the distance, but still didn't leave his place.

Grillbz reached him and stopped. He cocked his head.

Gingerbread was still looking at him, but didn't move.

There was nothing to say.

He moved to the side and started the skeleton walking with a hand on his back. He kept to the side and half a step behind, keeping an eye on him so it didn't happen again.

The sun rose quickly once it had shaken off the mists. Grillbz kept a quick pace. The skeleton stumbled a bit as the day wore on, but kept up, though he had a tendency to suddenly stop and not move again until he was pushed.

Grillbz felt they had reached some level of understanding, although neither of them had spoken since leaving the watchtower.

One mile was much like the other. He sifted through his mind for a happy memory. One in which

He was laughing, and Tavi was grinning.
"Oh, very funny," said the vegetoid. "You're very funny."
"Joseph, get over here," said Grillbz.
"I hate you," said the vegetoid balanced upside-down on top of Tavi's skull. "I hate you all." Tavi blinked as a few grains of dirt trickled down across his face, but didn't move his head. The vegetoid remained perched in the air. Grillbz rubbed a hand across his face, laughing.

The sky before them was reddening again when a black shape appeared against it, the wreck of a partly-burned manor house he'd investigated on his first sweep of the area and found picked clean, months before. By this point he was almost dragging the skeleton down the road with an arm around his waist, but Gingerbread was light, so it didn't matter.

The door had been permanently removed at some point, perhaps to be used elsewhere. Grillbz walked in, placing his weight carefully on a floor that dropped away into nothing on his right.
"Wh…"
Grillbz turned at the sound and found Gingerbread staring into the open-ended side of the house, where a dusky horizon was visible between charred boards.
".who lives here? the occasional traveler."
He started up the stairs.
".don't bother looking around, it's been cleaned out pretty well."
He paused at the top of the stairs. Was he going to have to… No, he heard the skeleton coming up after him, slowly.
He stopped halfway.
Well, better than nothing. He went down and coaxed them the rest of the way up.
By this time it was dark in the hallway except for Grillbz' own light. He felt his way forwards. He thought the house was empty, but he had been wrong before—notably, the night before.
There was a room on the unburned side of the house which had retained its mattress, though the rest of the bedding and furniture had disappeared. The mattress had been a bit large to move. Grillbz looked at the stains on the mattress, flipped it over, found that that side was worse than the first, and re-flipped it.
".you can sleep here." The skeleton looked blankly at him. ".and I suggest you do, there's more walking tomorrow. . have you been sleeping much?" he waited. ".come on. . yes or no."
Gingerbread signed no.
".I thought not. . you should catch up.I'm going to look around, but I'll be back."
He thoroughly combed the house and scanned the surrounding countryside from all vantage points. Nothing. They were alone, as he'd thought.
He surrounded the house with a low-level magic barrier, enough to alert him if anything passed over it.

He came back to the room where he'd left Gingerbread and found him curled up on his side, still in his coat, eye sockets open and empty.
".still not sleeping?"
Gingerbread didn't answer, but the answer was obvious. Grillbz slipped in, piled his bearskin and pack against the wall and sat on the side of the bed.
".come here." He patted the mattress next to him. Then he waited. There was, after several moments, a quiet sound of movement. Gingerbread rolled into the space next to him. Grillbz pulled the skeleton across his lap and placed his hands on his back, radiating a gentle warmth.
".go to sleep." He rested one hand on the back of Gingerbread's head, stroking rhythmically down his spine with the other. Most of his magic was tactile, and a good half of the effect of his soothing magic came from his natural warmth.
It felt like a long time, but it was really only a few minutes, before he felt Gingerbread's breathing deepen and knew he was asleep. Grillbz rested his hands at his sides, thinking. He didn't want to get up and risk undoing everything he'd just done. He briefly considered staying up all night, listening to the startling sounds the boards made when the wind pressed them, but that wasn't practical. Slowly he shifted backwards until he was lying on his back, lengthwise across the bed, arms outstretched. The skeleton, he could tell from his breathing, was still asleep. This would work. He closed his eyes.

He liked skeletons because they were always dry and light, like perfect air. Like air that leaves nothing between you and the sun.

Tavi and his scythe weighed almost nothing. He was pulling them around camp, arm around Tavi's shoulders.
"Look at this! Two months, and he's got a functioning construct! This kid is determined, eh? Devon, get over here! How long did it take you to figure out your axe?"
Tavi was laughing, keeping a desperate grip on his scythe, which sometimes gave a shiver at the edges, as if shrinking under all the attention. But they remained solid.

It had been gold, like his eyelights.

Several hours later he had found Tavi hunched over a piece of blank parchment.
"Finally writing home? I expected you to write long before."
"I know.. What do you say?"

He woke with a certainty that the sun was rising. He was in the same position on his back. The skeleton had shifted sometime in the night and was nestled deep into his coat, back pressed to Grillbz' warmth. Grillbz inched carefully away and stood without waking him.

"This is about Tavi?"
"Yes. I'd like him to be permanently assigned to my unit."
"Is that all? I was going to make him your second."
Grillbz frowned.
"Tavi? What about Devon? He's more qualified."
"Yes, very much so, and so I'd like to keep him free. He might need to be reassigned on short notice. We're running out of leaders."
"Have you spoken to him about this?"
"Always the diplomat, aren't you?"
"Most wars could be averted if the lords involved gave diplomacy a strong, honest attempt first."
"Perhaps. And yes, as a matter of fact, I have spoken to Devon, and he agrees with me on this. So who do you want, Tavi or someone else?"
He'd developed a special fondness for the young skeleton. Inexperienced as he was, he'd improved quickly. He was disciplined, quiet, orderly and contemplative. Probably something to do with being raised in a monastery, but that wasn't the whole story. Grillbz had known many children, both monsters and humans, who had been raised in a similar environment, and it just didn't take.
"Tavi."

The hallway was still dark, but dusty light came from an open doorway leading into nothing. He walked through, leapt, and landed on a mostly intact support beam, which creaked menacingly. Sunlight flickered across his vision. He ran lightly down the beam and jumped clear of the charred portion, landing on the outer wall of the house, which was solid stone. Part had crumbled away in the fire, but it was mostly intact. He stood carefully in the gap, looking out at the sunrise. The burned side of the house faced east, and the burning sky filled his whole vision. Slowly, the sun's edge burned through the black trees on the horizon and he felt its warmth on his face.

He unbuckled his brigandine, pried it off, unbuttoned the quilted jacket that went under it and draped both over the stones nearby, then relaxed into the sunlight, feeling the warmth sink through his thin shirt into his flames. He breathed deeply, arms loose at his sides.

"Your element is sunlight?"
He flinched, then immediately regained his balance and spun to face the darkness inside the house's shell. Gingerbread was on the extreme end of the existing floor on the upper level, looking at him across the space. There was no support under his feet, just charred board hanging over air. Grillbz tensed instinctively, then relaxed. The boards were holding. Of course. Skeletons were light.
".I don't know.I've always loved the sun."
"You… don't know?"
". no. . many elementals didn't. . after all, an element in its pure state is different than the element as we see it interacting with the visible world."
Gingerbread gave a slight nod, then after a few moments, turned and walked back into the darkness. It swallowed him up so that only the white of his skull was dimly visible, then that too vanished. Grillbz turned back towards the sun.
There had been a faint, but palpable spike of magic. Still not strong enough to be clear, just enough to confuse him, because he felt both sure and utterly unsure that he recognized it. It was similar to Tavi's, that was it. And that was why he'd started thinking about him again. (Goddammit, he'd just stopped.) That made some sense, monsters of the same race would have a similar cadence to their magic. And he hadn't really met any since Tavi.
He took another deep, calculated breath and erased his mind for a few minutes, facing into the sun.

He was standing facing into the woods, arms folded across his chest in an expression of prayer. Grillbz said his name. He didn't notice. Grillbz moved closer and flooded the air with warmth.
Tavi looked up.
"We're moving out."
"Already?" he said.
They turned and walked back together.

Gingerbread had gone back to sleep, curled up in the dent Grillbz' heavier body had left in the mattress. Perhaps it was still warm. Grillbz stood looking down at him, adjusting the buckles on his brigandine to the right tension and stretching his arms to shift it back into place.
".hey, Ginger. . Gingerbread. . hey. . do you have a name?"
The proper-name-less skeleton half-opened his eyes, but didn't answer. His magic had receded to its original, barely discernable level. The burst of energy had been short-lived. But it was encouraging, Grillbz told himself.
".get up. . we still have a long way to go."
Gingerbread slowly turned onto his back, stared at him for a few moments, then signed
where?
Oh. That was right, he'd never told him. He'd evidently woken up enough to care: good.
".there's a garrison nearby. . the remains of the monster army outside the Barrier are there, mostly helping monsters travel to it safely. . then there are the ones that want to outlast the humans, and the ones that want to keep fighting, stupidly. . the ones that are just afraid of the dark. . the ones that can't travel. . it's the center of command for your kind now, you'll be able to travel to the Barrier with someone else when they go. . maybe you'll even end up with me, although I doubt it." His work was mainly dealing with humans—he could go anywhere, because he just didn't give a fuck what kind of resistance there was. He'd walk through it. He'd walked through worse in his time. The only touchy bit, usually, was locating the monsters he was supposed to escort, and getting them out unharmed.
".alright?" nothing. ".you might have been heading there yourself. . were you?"
Gingerbread signed
yes.
".good, we'll go together. . but it's still more than a day ahead of us." He lifted the limp skeleton to his feet. ".come on. . have you eaten?you should eat."

It was twenty minutes later when Gingerbread got around to speaking. He was walking with a piece of gingerbread in his hand, not eating it, just holding it and sometimes giving it a distant look.
"I'm not going to the Barrier."
".what?..alright, you can stay at the garrison. . what were you planning?did you have a plan?"
That… was a nod, he was pretty sure? He'd let it go, for now.
".eat your gingerbread, kid."
They'd talk about it later. If there ever was a later. If he decided to start talking while Grillbz was still around.
In the meantime, they were following a deserted road. In a few miles its path and theirs would diverge, and they would head uphill. Deep in the hills ahead, in view of the coast and commanding a wide view of the conveniently abandoned-by-humans landscape, was the garrison.
The sky above the hills was opaque. Grillbz found his gaze lingering on it. Rain was rarely strong enough to really hurt him. He was in good condition and had his bearskin. But he still disliked it. Whatever his element was, it didn't do well submerged in water.
Snow was better—less messy, easier to deal with, usually. He liked snow.

It had been a white day, the air full of snow and dust, with a lifting wind that would let nothing settle. The ground was red.

".I don't like those clouds," he said, for the sake of saying something. Gingerbread didn't respond. The haze above the hills was resolving itself into dark-bellied clouds.
He looked down at the dusty road.

Footprints. Track. Track.
No need to track, they were all going this way, none diverging. Of course they would bring him to their camp.
"I can't," he was explaining to Devon, briefly stopping, in the snow. The snow was falling again. Another white haze clung about their ankles, they did not look at it. "They took him alive, you saw it. He knows all of our plans. I can't leave him in there." The thought sickened him. That was irrelevant, emotions were excess at a time like this.
"Do you trust him?" said Devon.
"Yes. Of course. But I can't leave him."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Take the troops to Devil's Gorge, I'll join you within a few days. Don't engage without me. We're done here."
"Yes, sir. Good luck. Grillby!"
he turned, already starting back down the track, following the footprints.
"Keep your flames dry, eh? See you at home."

".this is where we turn off."
Gingerbread stopped when he did, but didn't look up.
The day had grown darker, and there was a coolness to the air.
They walked off into the grass. For a short distance there was a half-visible footpath, then it too faded away, and they were climbing, alone.

The camp, or rather stopping place, was quiet in the snow. No tents, mostly sleeping soldiers. It had grown dark enough that Grillbz walked in a small pool of light, discernible from the darker ground. He burned brightly.

It had rained in the hills, and the ground sank under his feet. All the more reason to travel quickly.
The skeleton was tired, but kept up better than he had the day before.
Grillbz tracked the sun through the haze. It was a watery spot which became dimmer as the day went on.

It had been six hours since he lost sight of Tavi on the field. He was still burning hot from battle, but it was a thinning, desperate heat.

They had noticed him. The single guard had rapidly been surrounded by a growing knot of bodies, and he could see other humans running around kicking the remaining sleepers into action.
One of the foremost soldiers stepped out, balancing a spear.
"Stop there or I'll send this through your heart!"
".don't have a core."
He kept walking. His voice didn't carry over that much distance, it was like the hissing of salamanders. But he slowed, and lifted his hands, opened nonthreateningly.
Closer.
The spear left the human and plunged towards. He raised his hands and caught it in a small heat shield. The haft burst into flame and then was gone, the spearhead softened and thudded against his chestplate like mud. He brushed it off.
Then, seeing the humans tensing up, he slowed and stopped.
"Can you hear me?"
The one who'd thrown the spear blinked.
"WHAT?"
"I thought not."
"Is.. is he saying something?"
Grillbz raised his hands and signed I am not very loud in Wingdings. They stared blankly. Humans didn't use Wingdings.
He resumed walking.
"STOP THERE!"
"What about now?"
"WHAT?"
He kept walking.
"Can you hear me yet?"
The loud human craned forwards a little.
"WHAT… YES?"
"Good." He stopped. "Bring me the skeleton and I'll comply with your wishes."
"WHAT?"
He took several strides closer.
"You took my friend. I'd like him back. Then I'll leave."
The human opened and shut his mouth, then stepped backwards into the crowd of his comrades, effectively erasing any authority he might have taken on by becoming the spokesperson. Grillbz chuckled audibly.
"Where is your commander?"
The crowd shuffled. No one spoke.
"Please, I'm tired, and I'm sure you all want to go back to sleep. Bring him out so we can conclude this."
"Wait here," said another human, and backed away. He'd gone less than two strides away before stopping and coming back. Approaching shapes were visible through the snow haze. Someone had already fetched the commander. Grillbz tried and failed to look at him. He passed out of view behind the others.
"Greek Fire! You honor us. Have you come to bargain?"
Someone in the back gave an order. The soldiers began to spread out into some kind of order, instead of their huddled mass of terror. Dammit. He wouldn't be able to hit as many at once if it came to that. But there was no way he could take on the whole camp.
"Possibly. Have you come to apologize?"
"If this is a surrender, I would have expected a little more ceremony, but I'll accept it from you."
"Give me back the skeleton."
The commander shouldered out into view.
"This one?"
He pulled Tavi up behind him by the back of the shirt and shoved him forwards. His eyesockets were blank.
Well, he was being cooperative.
It had to be a trap.
"Yes."
"Ah, alright. You can have him. Take him."
The commander released Tavi, and he fell on his face and didn't rise. Grillbz tensed.
"Excuse me?"
"You came here for him, right? Well, here he is. Now leave us in peace, we're tired, and I'm sure even a demigod like you is also after the day you've had." He motioned to the soldiers still grouped around him and they retreated a few strides. He followed them, arms folded, leaving Tavi alone on the ground.
Grillbz didn't dare pick him up.
He couldn't not pick him up, though.
He'd play their game, then. He had to. He walked forwards, scooped up the limp skeleton and dragged him backwards, then paused. Waited.
The humans looked at him. He looked at the humans.
"Goodnight," said the Commander. Translation: please leave. An icy smile lingered on his lips.
Grillbz looked down at Tavi. He was covered in dust. But it was him. Definitely him, and definitely alive. Magic was seeping from his injuries and Grillbz recognized the pulse.
He gave the Commander a final, suspicious look, lifted Tavi into his arms, turned, and walked away.
When he was out of throwing range he relaxed a little and recognized again how exhausted he was. That could have gone badly if they hadn't been so… why the hell had they been so cooperative?
"Tavi. Speak to me."
It was snowing again. He let the flakes drop into his flames with little puffs of steam. The sensation was bothersome, but he didn't feel like maintaining a shield.
He paused on a rise to look back. Some of the soldiers were already going back to sleep. The Commander and those around him were standing where they had been, watching him. He turned away.
"Are you awake?"
There was a faint sound from the skeleton. Grillbz tried to walk smoothly, despite his fatigue, to avoid causing him any unnecessary pain. There was a crack running across the bridge of his nose into one eyesocket, and another splitting his upper jaw to the cheekbone. Several teeth were missing and ectoplasm was smeared across his face.
"mnghgssh.." he moved his mouth, grimaced and closed it. "Sorry."
He spoke without moving his mouth the second time. It was something skeletons could do, but almost never did. Since other creatures spoke by moving their mouths and faces, skeletons adapted to do the same, often forgetting that they could speak without doing so.
"What?"
"Sorry. I'm sorry."
"Shh."
"Ssorryy."
"Tavi.. What did you tell them?"
"mgSs.. Sorry. I'm… so sorry. I'm so sorry." He started to cry.

Grillbz dragged the skeleton up a bank, and he slipped and went down in the wet leaves. Grillbz lifted him by the back of the coat.
".come on. . we're almost home."
Another gust of wind lifted the branches above them, then there was a soft pattering sound. Grillbz looked up with a faint hiss. There was the rain.
He pulled the bearskin up over his head. It felt claustrophobic around his flames, but it was better than maintaining a shield just for the rain, or for letting his head be bombarded by raindrops.
".pull your hood up." He said, glancing at the skeleton. They shrugged. The rain, previously a light patter, came down in a heavy rush. Grillbz flicked out his arm and pulled the skeleton's hood up, wincing at the feel of rain on his arm. There was a cloud of steam.
The sun was on the other side of the hills, sinking into the ocean, perhaps already passing the edge of the world. It was already as dark as night, especially with Grillbz hiding his light.

He made sure to check that the skeleton was still with him as he struggled up the slopes, rivulets forming and racing away past him into deeper darkness. Gingerbread was keeping up without much coaxing now, which was good.

"Put me down."
"Shh."
"Please, leave me. I'm slowing you down."
"Shut up. Me? Tavi, you weigh almost nothing."

Skeletons were light.

He kept spinning around to check if Gingerbread was there. The massive amounts of rushing water distracted him the faint, faint whisper of his magic, and his footfalls made no sound that he could hear over the rain. He thought of making Gingerbread walk in front, but that made no sense because he didn't know which way to go. Grillbz himself was relying on memory at this point. Visibility wasn't an issue.

He'd stopped making sense a few hours before, and now had gone silent. Grillbz was huddled against a tree, holding him and waiting. Tavi's breathing was uneven.
Grillbz didn't have enough magic left to heal him. Even if he had, he didn't think he would have been able to save him permanently, just put off the inevitable. He was still bleeding magic, but it had a thin, brittle quality to it.
He'd heard that soldiers felt cold when they were dying. It was probably a folk tale. Anyway, Tavi was going to die a warm death. He could give him that much. He'd melted through the snow, creating a halo of bare earth around the bole of the tree.
He viewed Tavi's failure as his own, at least in part. He should have known his weaknesses better, it was his responsibility.

He hadn't really listened back then.

He'd met Tavi with his father—he'd been trying to recruit his father, not him. They were boss monsters. He'd heard about Tavi's father and trekked across the island to try to convince him to join the cause. They had stayed up talking through the night, and to his exasperation Grillbz had found that he was not speaking with a lazy or cowardly monster—those he could guilt-trip into battle, usually—but a staunch pacifist. And a well-read, argumentative one. It had been an interesting night, and he'd developed a begrudging respect for the older skeleton. At early morning he ended the discussion.
And then Tavi had spoken. He'd been there the whole time, silently listening, and Grillbz had forgotten he was there.
"I'll go."
There was an awkward pause.
"No you won't," said his father when he'd recovered.
Grillbz volunteered to wait outside. They ignored him. The last thing he heard was Tavi saying
"I've never asked for anything before."
His father went silent.

The older skeleton came out and put a large hand across his shoulder. Grillbz waited a few moments for him to speak. He did not.
"Is he coming with me?"
"Yes. He's getting ready."
Grillbz nodded.
"He… he really hasn't asked for anything else." The skeleton cough-laughed. "I can't believe… he started now." He looked down at the stones of the floor. "When I found him he was being used in a travelling freak show. I adopted him. I've spent the rest of his life trying to teach him to speak for himself, but he's always been very passive, and… I don't know, in a way I suppose I liked that. We've never fought. But I knew he'd have to grow up. I've been trying to encourage him. I don't know, perhaps I haven't been a good parent. I didn't have any experience… why am I telling you this? I suppose I can't really forbid him from going. He is of age… although, if I did, I know he'd listen to me. But I don't, I don't want to do that to him…"
"I'll train him," said Grillbz, hoping he wasn't about to witness some sort of messy emotional display.
"Thank you. He'll need it."
"I guessed."

Tavi opened his eyes, ringshaped golden eyelights fixed on some point in the snow haze. Grilbz called his name quietly. He didn't look at him. His brow ridges pulled together and he bared his teeth. His bones rattled. Then his weight became suddenly light.
Grillbz watched his body dissolve into white dust, leaving a bright soul visible. He carefully stood and backed away, trailing dust. It wasn't good to be too close to a boss monster soul when it shattered.
He covered his face as it cracked. There was a burst of light and magic, then the place darkened.
He looked down at his armor. Dust was still trickling from it into the snow.
He'd wasted several hours. The humans would be moving to Devil's Gorge, and he needed to get there first. He could do it. He hadn't seen the sun in days, but he could do it.
He stripped off his armor and left it at the base of the tree, then stood for a few minutes, memorizing the place.
He walked to a nearby lookout. He couldn't see the humans, but he could smell their fire. It was almost dawn. They would be moving.
The wind was cold and cut straight through his quilted jacket. He only hoped it didn't snow heavily as he was running, he didn't have the energy to spare for a shield and it would make the journey distinctly unpleasant.
He took a deep breath, rolled his neck, loosened his shoulders, and plunged down the slope, breaking into a steady run. Don't pause, he told himself, until you catch sight of the sun.

He could see the lights.
".look," he said to Gingerbread. ".we're almost to the garrison." Gingerbread didn't look.
Grillbz could sense the trees running up past him into the black sky, and hear them tossed by the wind, but he couldn't see them. He watched the lights far uphill flicker. He hoped nothing was being damaged up there.
It was a steep slope. He was concentrating on placing his feet when he paused and realized that the skeleton wasn't close behind him. He was standing several yards downhill, staring stupidly at a clump of moss clinging to a rock close to the level of his nose.
Grillbz paused to stretch before starting back down to fetch him, letting out a faint, peeved snarl. He should just drag him—
He tensed, his flames sinking close to his body.
Uphill, some enormous energy had been released.
He stood for several seconds, uncomprehending, as a massive darkness rushed downwards towards them.
Oh.
He spun, mind racing. What were the chances that he could get the skeleton to run? Could he carry him while running? What if he just left him? That was the simplest option. He should warn him—he found that in his excitement he couldn't identify the correct English words. Dammit! He started down, swearing loudly (for him) in Greek. The skeleton slowly looked up at him in confusion.
Somewhere above, there was a sharp snap followed by the sound of a falling tree. The landslide was gaining momentum.
Grillbz found himself shouting different words in the hope that the skeleton would identify some of them. What was English for landslide? Run? Flee? What about Gaelic? His Gaelic was even worse but—wait a moment, Latin. Everyone knew Latin, right? He knew Latin. Right. Right? Goddammit what were the right words—
".fuge!" he screeched, plowing into the skeleton and sliding downhill with him. ".statim!" something appeared to click in the blank eyesockets and the skeleton turned and began to scramble downhill alongside him. The landslide had become an audible roar behind them, tumbling rocks and cracking trees. Grillbz lengthened into a sprint, half-flying down the slope, barely touching the ground. There was the ravine they'd crossed so perilously perhaps an hour before, it should stop most of the landslide. He just had to cross it and get a bit further, then he'd feel more or less safe. In a few more gravity-assisted bounds he was at the edge. He skidded to the end of a point of rock and jumped, landing well on the other side and leaping immediately back into his run.
He'd taken only a few leaps when, behind him, he heard a light clatter, a scrabbling noise, and then a splash. He tried to stop, lost his balance and rolled several feet on the wet ground. He stopped himself, fingers digging into the earth, and raced back uphill. Sure enough, the skeleton had disappeared. He swore again, and dropped into the ravine.
Gingerbread was just raising himself to hands and knees from a rocky pool. Grillbz looked up, sensing the approaching landslide, then scooped him up and raced down the ravine. How wide could the landslide be? Could they get out of its range perpendicularly? Not quick enough, clots of earth were already splashing into the water behind them. He looked around and veered to the right, diving under an outcropping of rock and pulling the bearskin over his head. He pinned the skeleton against the rock, shielding him with his body. Wisps of steam rose from his clothes.
With a crash, the landslide poured over their rock. Earth bounced from the bearskin. OK, maybe it wouldn't be so—
A massive weight settled onto his shoulders. Grillbz slipped and pressed his face against the rock. Water splashed into one of his boots and steam shot up. He snarled.
Then, slowly, the earth rolled away, and he could stand again. He took a shaky breath.
He could still hear a few loose rocks tumbling down the hillside. He stayed where he was.
".Ginger?you alive?"
The skeleton shifted. He gave a breathless laugh that turned into coughing, then silent sobbing.
".could be worse." He adjusted his position so that the skeleton was leaning on his shoulder.

After half an hour the only sound was the gentle shimmering sound of the rain. Grillbz stepped away from the rock, shook some of the mud out of the bearskin, and began to pick his way downriver through the debris and choked water, pulling the skeleton along with him. There was a washout under a tree, a bit higher than the level of the water and piled debris. Grillbz stuffed the skeleton into it, crawled in after him, and collapsed.
Gingerbread fell asleep almost immediately.

Sleep was strange, Grillbz thought. It could change the features, soften or clarify them. Often monsters looked younger when they were asleep. Gingerbread looked older. It was the fatigue, Grillbz decided. A gust of wind drove rain under the bearskin and he wrapped it more tightly around himself. The rain had to be mostly spent.

By dawn it had slowed to a tired drizzle and there was color in the Eastern sky, above the opposite bank. Grillbz slipped out to look hungrily at it, then woke the skeleton.
".how are you feeling?"
His eyesockets were still blank, but his magic seemed a little stronger. Gingerbread appeared to ponder the question for several moments.
"Better." He said huskily.
".good."

The floor of the ravine was still choked with mud and debris, but there was a stream of clear rainwater running down a crevice in the rock wall. Gingerbread plunged his face into it and drank deeply. Then they began working their way back up.

Grillbz took a look at the muddy road of wreckage leading up the steep slope they'd half-ascended the night before and turned aside.
".detour."
The day was hazy and wet, but it wasn't raining, he reminded himself as the mist billowed down into his face. The trees were colored with sunlight. The sun slanted from their left through the mist as they walked downhill. No more shortcuts, Grillbz had decided, they were circling around the long way and taking the trail.

They made good speed until late morning, when Gingerbread began to lag further and further behind. Grillbz, who was deep in thought, let him, until he heard a crunch followed by silence. He turned. The skeleton was lying motionless in the leaves. He walked back.
". hey. . we're almost there. . you'll feel better when you get some real food." Nothing. He waited. "Gingerbread," he said sternly. "Get up."
Gingerbread slid his hands out over his head and fumblingly signed go on ahead, I'll catch up.
Grillbz rolled the skeleton over, lifted him into his arms and continued walking.

He

needed to get up

.

..

Warmth

.

It felt nice.

…

He was being carried.

The skeleton stirred.
"Put me down. I can walk."
".you weigh nothing."

He should argue. He was too tired to argue.

He would rest. He needed to be able to speak when they reached the garrison. He'd be alright. He would. Be alright.

Grillbz kept walking.

".Marcus."

The bear-monster looked up from sorting cleaned utensils back into place as Grillbz came in.

"Greek Fire! How's the world?"
".the usual."
"That bad, eh?"
Marcus waited. Grillbz was taciturn, he wouldn't have sought him out for a conversation if he didn't have something particular to say.
".I found another dead one."
"Oh, really? What kind?"
".skeleton, possibly a boss monster."
"Really! That's interesting, what's his name?"
".no idea.I've been calling him Gingerbread."
"Oh. Does he speak at all?"
". occasionally. . sometimes he uses Wingdings."
"Huh. Is he here?"
".yes."
"You want me to feed him."
Grillbz was silent for a moment.
".if you have any leftovers."
"I think I have some cold cooked potatoes around. What's Cavan said?"
".nothing yet, I haven't seen him.I was thinking I'd leave him here for a bit, you know how Cavan is and I'd like to spare him the encounter until he's—well, another day at least."
"Hm. I'll keep an eye on him."
".you don't have to, I doubt he'll wander off."
"All the same. It's been a while since I talked to a skeleton."
he was heating a pan over the fire.
".what's that for?"
"Potatoes." He scraped leftover lard into the pan. "What, did you think I was going to give them to him cold? Who does that?"
".I would."
"Listen up, you stomachless wraith, any cold food becomes ten times more comforting and delicious if you fry it."
He began slicing off cross-sections of potato into the lard.
".I'll take your word for it. . is that Steven sleeping out there?"
"Yeah, he's still here."
".I'd thought he would be healed by now."
"He is, technically, but we don't want to send him through the Barrier like he is. He's a mess."
". ah. . he seemed alright."
"Well, he's not. He started a fight last week and nearly killed that bull that used to run relays, what's his—Raphael, yeah. Him. That wasn't the only one, but it's the most noteworthy. I've been letting him drink himself into a stupor since then."
".no one's helping him?"
"How? Anyway, I'm busy here. He needs to figure things out himself. And I hope he hurries up."
".why doesn't Cavan want him going to the Barrier?I'd think he would see him as a liability here."
Cavan was likely to see Gingerbread as a liability. Grillbz frowned. He was too tired to think about this.
"Yes, well, I think he thinks he'd be even more of a liability down there. We don't know what kind of structure they have. This is military, he feels we should take care of our own and not let someone else clean up the mess."
".he's not taking care of anything, he's letting him lay on the floor and be a disgrace."
"Yes, well. Maybe it'll help."
".it'll help shorten his already wound-impeded lifespan." Cavan had a very brusque way of dealing with broken soldiers. Any emotional distress was a self-perpetuating attention-seeking disorder and therefore should be ignored until it starved itself out. Which, in a manner of speaking, worked, so there wasn't much Grillbz could say to him that he would listen to. But Grillbz was older by several millennia and several hundred wars. He'd seen monsters lie down and quietly die for no external reason. It didn't seem like attention seeking behavior to him. ".maybe getting off the Surface would help. . then again, maybe it would only make it worse. . no word from the other side?"
"No. Far as we know, there's nothing that can bypass the Barrier from the inside. Could be anything down there."
Grillbz stiffened.
There could. They were just assuming that there was a safe cave system, large enough for them to live in, and that the other monsters were already there. They were assuming that the monsters they sent through were going to a place of safety. But they knew nothing for sure. It could be an elaborate death trap. That would be just like the humans…
"Grab that jar over there."
Grillbz picked it up and sniffed it.
".what's this?"
"In theory it's a fish sauce, except we're out of fish. I've been experimenting."
".sometimes I am glad that I do not commonly need to eat."
"Oh shut up, you want me to help you or not?"
".personally I am neutral, but I think the skeleton needs food."
"Don't be a smartass. Take that out to him, I'll be out once I get these put away."
Gingerbread was sitting with his head down on one of the abandoned tables in the mess hall. Steven was stretched along the wall nearby, breathing uncomfortably. Grillbz set the pan down loudly near Gingerbread's face. He looked up and sniffed.
"What's…?"
".leftover potatoes. . we're a bit late for the main meal but Marcus was good enough to fix you up something. . eat it."
Gingerbread slid his silver-edged knife out of his sleeve, speared a potato with it and lethargically munched it. Grillbz frowned.
".you use that to eat?"
The skeleton shrugged and speared another slice of potato.
".don't cut yourself." Grillbz watched uncomfortably.
Marcus settled like another landslide onto the bench beside him.
"Greetings. Gingerbread, eh? High-class name."
".I don't actually know his name."
"What? Gingerbread is a perfectly good name, don't doubt yourself."
".It's not his name though."
"Don't you need to report to Cavan?"
".yes." Grillbz stood. ".stay here and rest, I'll come back."

"And what did you see out there?"
".nothing of military interest."
"Anything of non-military interest?"
".I found a straggler.a skeleton. . possibly a boss monster."
"Really? Where is he?"
".at the mess tent. .I believe he'd been travelling for a long time, and he had no food with him.I wish you'd give him a few days to rest before you question him."
"Alright, I trust you. What's his name?"
".don't recall."
"Don't you? Did he not tell you?"
".I don't believe he did."
"Hm. Keep an eye on him."
".I doubt the humans are still sending assassins. . do they even know of this place?"
"You've never see him before? That's strange, isn't it?"
".there are many monsters I've never seen."
"Alright. Listen, the barracks are full, can you find somewhere to stay? I know the ground is wet, I'm sorry."
".I can. . about the ground:we were almost killed by a mudslide on the Eastern slope yesterday."
"Oh, you saw that?"
".saw that indeed. . we were nearly smothered."
"I know. In retrospect, our engineering on that side may not have been the best."
". oh. . really.. well. . I can't believe that."
"Oh, shut up. Everything's falling apart, what else is new? I'm busy. Bring your straggler to see me when he's rested."

"Hey. Greek Fire."
Grillbz raised his head from the table.
Marcus was seated across from him. The wind from the doorflaps smelled of night. Grillbz stretched stiffly.
".what time is it?you should have woken me.I didn't mean to sleep on your table."
"Skeleton's up."
".what?"
"He's up."
".what is he doing?"
"Talking to Cavan."
Grillbz looked at him.
"..now?"

The air was worryingly wet, but it wasn't actually raining. Which was good, because Cavan had chosen to talk to Gingerbread outside, standing in the mud, along with several ex-soldiers who would definitely rather be sleeping or at least doing real guard duty. Civilization is dead, Grillbz though as he squelched angrily towards them. Cavan was holding Gingerbread's knife, very carefully. Oh yeah, the suspicious knife he had specifically not mentioned to Cavan.
Cavan looked up as he reached them.
"There you are! I was just about to send someone to look for you."
".what?"
"Why didn't you tell me you knew him? Didn't I ask you his name?"
".I don't know his name."
Cavan, still vaguely smiling, looked at the knife, then back at Gingerbread, who was, Grillbz realized, looking at Grillbz.
"Are you sure?" Gingerbread said.
".I don't know you.I'd remember it."
"Ah," said Cavan. "Well that raises some questions. Because he insisted that he was Uncial Consolas."
"Gaster."
"Known as Gaster."
Grillbz frowned.
".no.I do remember 're too young." But then.. suddenly, he did seem very similar…. They were the same startling height, and had the same general skull shape. He glanced down at the design on the knife's blade, which he hadn't looked at before, and saw that it was a U-shaped crest. ".who are you?"
"Gaster."
".no, you're not. . you're at least twenty years too young."
"You killed my child."
Suddenly it all made sense and Grillbz couldn't believe the possibility had never occurred to him. Boss monsters only aged as their children did, and would stop, even sometimes de-age when their children died. Tavi was a young boss monster. He was dead. Uncial Gaster, presumably, had no other children.
".glow your eyes," said Grillbz. With a visible effort Gingerbread glowed his eyes intense purple. Grillbz stepped closer, feeling the magic pulse, searching his face.
He looked different. Younger, and yet older, and impossibly tired. A calm strength he'd seen in their debate had vanished.
Grillbz turned to Cavan.
".it is him."
"I didn't… mean to.. put it like that," said Gaster, haltingly. "Sorry. It's not your fault."
".he died well."
Grillbz turned and walked away.

He needed to be alone. In a garrison, this was somewhat problematic.
The wall was only about ten feet high. He jumped up, pulled himself over and sat on the cliff's edge facing the Western coast, erased in the dark.

So Gaster was alive, and here, and de-aged. And he'd just lied to him.

Technically.

Was that a lie? It depended on the perspective. But it wasn't the whole truth. Would Gaster want the whole truth? It was a moot point, because, Grillbz decided, he wasn't going to see him again. If he never saw him again, he didn't need to make any decisions on the morality of truth, lies or stubborn silence. That suited him just fine. He was done thinking and wondering. He just wanted to sleep, but his core was in a knot.

He sat and stared at the darkness below the dome of stars.

He went back to the gate and came inside the usual way when morning came. It was yet another cloudy day. He was going to find somewhere moderately dry and sleep all day.
Cavan caught him first. Did the monster never sleep? That energy had to come from somewhere.
"Theeere you are!"
Grillbz made a fizzling sound.
"You're not at your most pleasant. So, what else didn't you know? Did you know he wants to help as a guide?"
".he does?"
Actually, Grillbz could see that. Death wish. He needed to talk to Ginger—Gaster. After he'd slept.
"So I'm assigning him as your partner."

Grillbz stopped walking. Cavan walked around him and stopped, facing him, grinning.

"Well?"
".what, now?"
"I think it's a good plan. He needs someone to break him in, you need a partner."
".no I don't."
"Yes, you do."
".I handle things perfectly well myself."
"You leave a trail of smoldering wreckage in your wake! Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the impression that your new friend possesses at least a working concept of subtlety."
".I have subtlety!" now he was both insulted and sleep deprived.
"In some situations, yes, but I think we can agree that when you are presented with resistence you tend to incinerate things."
".and?"
"It doesn't work in the long run."
".what long run?!"
"Just take him. You do well with skeletons."
"!what!?"
"Alright, alright, that's a generalization, but you don't dislike him, do you?"
".I… listen.I don't need a partner. . and there are other guides."
"Not many."
". granted. . but he's not a fighter."
"He has some impressive attacks. I made him show me. They're a bit weak at the moment, you were right about him being in low condition, but I think he'll be an asset once he's fed up."
".really?what attacks?"
"He has a shield—"
".that's not an attack."
"Also, he can control the weight of an opponent's Soul. It's quite effective."
".what…that….alright, sure, maybe it is. . is that all?no bullets?"
"I was hoping you'd train him."
Grillbz cringed.
". no. . send him through the Barrier and be done with him. . he's not a soldier, never has been or will be.I brought him here so he could rest and find a guide, that's it. . I don't need a partner. . especially not Gaster."
"Any particular reason?"
Grillbz searched Cavan's face.
".he's standing right behind me isn't he."
"Heh! Timing. Nice."
"Hello."
Grillbz glanced over his shoulder.
".don't do that."
"Sorry." Gaster moved to stand at his side.
".Cavan, listen to me. . if this is Uncial Gaster, he should hate me."
"Not necessarily! We all know that unfortunate things happen in war, eh?"
Grillbz stared at Cavan's face, willing himself to remain blank-faced and not mock his superior's words. You don't fucking say, you fat meat pie. Unfortunate things? My God, like what? You mean, besides the usual casualties of war? What planet do you come from? Have you and I fought in the same war? Are we speaking different languages and don't realize it? Fuck you. Fuck. You. I need to sleep.
"I'm too tired." Said Gaster. Grillbz looked sharply at him.
His magic was faintly discernible now, but he looked otherwise the same.
It was an argument he could accept, more or less.
It still hurt to look him. But that was a minor consideration. It needed to be. It hurt to look at many things.
Do you want to die? He signed in Wingdings.
And then Gaster smiled, still without lighting his eyes.
Grillbz hissed out a breath and took a step closer.
".look, I don't… have you slept?"
"Does it matter?"
". it does, you won't be good for anything if you don't—actually, I still need to find somewhere to sleep, just—stick with me."
He glanced at Cavan.
".I'm not taking him.I'll just help him get settled in."
"Yeah sure," said Cavan, smiling and waddling away.
Grillbz and Gaster looked at each other.
"I never thanked you."
".don't." said Grillbz.

A/N: A brigandine is basically a Medieval flak jacket—metal plates riveted inside a sturdy fabric or leather vest (usually—some did have sleeves). The quilted jacket is called a gambeson and makes it more comfortable to wear.

The title is from an Emily Dickinson poem.