Wow, 375 stories. Time really does fly. LOL. I was trying to decide exactly what to write for my 375th story while watching the season 8 episode, Caged. And suddenly I realized, hey, story! LOL. This scene is a different version of the scene where Elliot is attacked with a pen. I got very excited when I came up with the idea, and I really think everyone will enjoy it. The song I used is the Jordin Sparks song, No Air, which is, to me, one of the most perfect EO songs. So enjoy my 375th story, Caged (which is also my longest SVU songfic, and probably my longest songfic every), and please remember to review! And Jess, I want my shoe back!!
A very big M rating for this story, for filthy language and naughty fun!
A very special thanks go out to obcessedwithbenson. She knows why!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
Mark struggled wildly against Elliot's ferocious grip, yelling in French as he tried to get away.
Dani approached them, trying to reassure the angry boy with soft words and gentle hands, but he was having none of it.
Outside of the room, Olivia strolled anxiously, her hands in her pockets and her lower lip caught between her teeth. She couldn't stay away. Elliot had said it perfectly once, when he told her that he couldn't quit this job, because it was in her blood. He had been more than right. This job was in her blood, and it was her life. She couldn't just walk away from it. Not without a fight.
She heard the sounds of a fight, of a child yelling in French and Huang's distressed voice, but she couldn't make out any words. Her heart started to pound as she went to the door and quickly pulled it open, steeling herself to help.
Mark reached toward the table, his fingers closing around the only object he could reach: a pen. Then he turned in the detective's grip and jammed it into his chest with an angry yell.
Dani gasped, but before she could move, a blur rushed past her, and it was only when Elliot released Mark and stumbled backward that she realized a woman was standing in front of him.
Olivia quickly grabbed a wad of paper towels, her dark eyes filled with anger and fear as she reached for the pen embedded in her partner's chest.
Elliot groaned in pain as she quickly pulled the pen out and pressed the paper towels against the profusely bleeding wound. And for a moment, his hazy mind didn't register who was in front of him, whose hands were on his chest. He could barely breathe, or even think.
Olivia kept one hand pressed tightly against the paper towels, and the other gently gripped Elliot's forearm, trying to steady him. "El?"
If I should die before I wake
It's cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like
Living in a world with no air
He stumbled backward, breathing hard. That voice…
She followed him, keeping her grip on him. "Come on, El." She looked over her shoulder, her eyes piercing as she focused on his so called partner. "Get some help in here!" she demanded angrily.
He finally looked up at her, and for a moment as their eyes locked, neither of them could breathe.
Then he finally collapsed onto the small couch, his eyes wide and filled with pain. But not all of it was physical.
She followed him, leaning over him as she continued to apply pressure to the wound in his chest. It probably wasn't life threatening, but that didn't matter to her. Her partner had been injured because she wasn't there to have his back. If she had returned even a few hours sooner, she could have prevented this from happening at all.
He looked at her delicate hand as she held it tightly to his chest, and he almost laughed. How many times had he wanted her this close to him? How many hours did he spend lying awake in bed, wishing that she would touch him, that she was his to touch? After so much time, he had simply lost count.
Her right hand gently squeezed his arm, drawing his attention back to her worried face. "You still with me?" she murmured, her chocolate eyes brimming with concern… and something else that he couldn't quite identify.
He nodded, focusing on her lips as she spoke. She really was there…
She gently shook him when his eyes slid shut. "Come on, Elliot. Can't go to sleep on me."
He suddenly grabbed the hand that was holding onto his arm, and he held onto it as though it were a lifeline. He was drowning, and she was the only life preserver he had now. His wife was gone, his children didn't need him… She was everything that he had.
She turned her hand in his until their palms were touching, then squeezed it tight. "I've got you, El." Her fingers laced through his. "I'm not leaving again." She didn't care what it took. The past few weeks without him had been hell, but now she was done with the assignment, and she was home.
He suddenly leaned forward and rested his head against hers, letting his eyes slid shut. He was never letting her go again.
I'm here alone, didn't want to leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way
That I could make you understand
Her arm slid around his neck, holding him to her. She didn't care who was watching them. Nothing mattered to her, except him.
He buried his face in her neck, the sting of rejection and the pain of abandonment gone. He had her back, and he had no intention of letting her go again.
He couldn't breathe without her by his side.
She tightened her grip on him while still keeping her left hand securely against his chest. She could feel his heart beating wildly beneath her fingers, and suddenly she felt as though her own heart could beat again. She was whole again, because he was there with her.
She could finally breathe.
But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me?
Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
"Soon as I get my tetanus shot, we're out of here," Elliot murmured as he buttoned his shirt up again.
She smiled softly at his use of the word 'we'. "You really kept your cool in there," she said softly.
"Adrenaline," he answered, shrugging with his good shoulder. "Didn't think."
She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted uncomfortably. Only an hour ago those same arms had held him close to her, and she desperately missed the contact. "That scared the hell out of me…"
His cerulean eyes softened noticeably at the pain in her features. "Liv, I'm okay."
She drew her lower lip between her teeth and chewed on it thoughtfully. He really was okay. The doctor that looked him over said there wasn't even a point in keeping him overnight. A couple of days of resting, and he would be as good as new. But that didn't help the fear that still lurked in the back of her mind. If that little boy's aim had been just a little more to the right… Her shoulders shuddered. She wouldn't be in a hospital. She would be burying him, and her heart along with him.
He studied her intently, and without saying a word, reached out and gently closed his fingers around hers.
Her eyes slid shut for a moment. "El, I…"
"Thank you, Doctor."
Olivia withdrew as the curtain opened, and Kathy and Kathleen approached Elliot.
He wanted to beg her to stay, but he could see her obvious discomfort and he didn't force the issue.
The brunette stepped back, forcing her own feelings aside as she nodded at the two women, then left the room.
Elliot didn't want her to go, and suddenly he felt as though the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air
Olivia walked out of the hospital, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think.
Of course Kathy had shown up. She had every right to be there. She was still his wife, after all. He had never signed those papers, never made it official. Technically they were still husband and wife. She had more of a right to be there with him than his partner did.
And it hurt her more than she would ever let on to anyone. Especially Elliot.
No air, air
No air, air
He had to force himself to engage in conversation with Kathy and Kathleen. Olivia had left, taking with her a huge piece of his heart.
Kathy noticed his agitation and restlessness, and she attributed it to him being injured. She reached out and gently touched his arm, surprised when his muscles stiffened beneath her touch.
Making his muscles relax, he looked away from both of them momentarily. "You two should go back home. I'm fine." He patted Kathy's hand, then pulled his arm away.
"But Dad," Kathleen protested, brushing her hair out of her face.
He shook his head. "Don't argue with me, honey. I'm fine." He stood up, closing the distance between them and laying a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Go home with your mother."
Suddenly uncomfortable, Kathy nodded and took their daughter's arm, leaving Elliot alone in the room.
Once they were both gone, he sat back down again, absently touching the bandaged area. Suddenly unable to catch his breath, he leaned back and closed his eyes, letting the memories of Olivia's touch overwhelm his senses again.
No air, air
No air, air
After finally receiving his tetanus shot, Elliot checked himself out of the hospital, then walked into the chilly nighttime air. He had been brought to the hospital by ambulance, at Cragen's insistence, and now he had no way of getting back home, except on foot.
But he really didn't mind it. He needed the time to clear out his mind and plan his next move. It was over with Kathy, and he knew it. It had been for some time.
He had fought the reality of it for some time, believing that at any time he would be able to go back to the life that had once made him happy. Kathy would welcome him back home, and he would be a full time father and husband again.
That little bubble burst months ago, but he had still had difficulties letting go of what once had been.
Now he was walking the streets of New York alone, not sure of where he was going. He had never felt so alone, and once again his thoughts turned to his partner.
After her sudden disappearance almost two months ago, he had never thought that he could hurt so badly, that he could feel such abandonment. At least when Kathy left, there had been signs, warnings, even if he had failed to notice them. They had been there.
But with Olivia, she was just gone. No warning, no sign, not even a goodbye.
Suddenly he was furious, and once he regained his bearings, he took off in the direction of his partner's apartment building.
He had to know.
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me
Down for real
In her apartment, Olivia was nursing a bottle of whiskey as she sat on the couch. How stupid could she have been? She was just his partner, just someone he worked with. Kathy had given him four beautiful children, something that she was certain he would never want from her.
And she couldn't blame him. He had spent twenty years with Kathy. He'd raised children with her, had a home with her, a life.
Who was she kidding? She wasn't meant to have someone to spend her life with. She had been alone in childhood, and she would be alone for the rest of her life, married only to a job that was slowly killing her.
She took a long drink of the whiskey, trying to dull the pain in her heart.
She was still very much alive, breathing, but she didn't know how.
But as the alcohol took effect, she realized that she didn't really care.
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how
But I don't even care
By the time he reached her front door, he was out of breath and the wound in his chest was aching dully. But it didn't ease the anger in his heart. He wanted to know why she had left without so much as a goodbye, and why she had not contacted him at all during the time she was gone.
He extended a hand and banged on the door.
Olivia glanced at the door, her brow furrowed. Who the hell was that? Setting the almost empty bottle down, she stumbled to her feet and made her way to the door.
"Who's there?" she demanded.
"It's me!"
She hesitated, then unlocked the door and pulled it open, staring up into the angry face of her partner.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she had to lean on the door for support.
He stepped forward, his big body taut with ill suppressed anger. "Why did you do it, Olivia?"
Her brow furrowed. "Why did I do what?" she wondered, rubbing her eyes.
He smelled the whiskey on her breath, and it only angered him more. "Why did you leave? You didn't even have the courtesy to say goodbye to me!"
Slowly her sluggish mind shifted into gear. "Elliot, there wasn't any time…"
"The hell there wasn't! I've been your partner for eight years, and you just disappeared!"
"Elliot…"
He advanced on her, slamming the apartment door shut behind him. He was furious, but through her own blurred vision she could see the tears swimming in his cerulean eyes.
And it took her breath away.
So how do you expect me
To live alone with just me?
Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
He suddenly reached out and closed his large hands around her forearms, gripping her tightly. "Do you know how afraid I was for you, Olivia?" he questioned hoarsely. "I wasn't there to have your back. Anything could have happened to you!"
Her eyes darkened as she sobered. "But it didn't, Elliot. I'm fine-"
"But you could have died!" he shouted, shaking her slightly. "I could have lost you!"
The anger in his voice startled her, but even more so was the deep sadness that ran beneath. He was upset. She had known that he had to have been hurt, but she really didn't have any idea how badly until now.
He suddenly released her arms and sank to his knees, burying his face in her abdomen. The tears that he had been holding in for six weeks finally escaped, soaking her shirt.
She was stunned, but after a moment she rested her hand on the top of his head and gently stroked his hair. "El…"
His entire body shuddered as his strong arms wound around her waist and held her tightly to him. As much as he may have needed to, he couldn't bring himself to let go of her. His anger was quickly fading, and even though the hurt was still there, her touch was making it slowly disappear.
How did she do this to him?
Slowly she sank to her knees with him, holding him tight as her chin came to rest lightly on the top of his head. The pain that rolled off of him hit her and robbed her of her breath.
"Elliot…" She kissed his temple and hugged him tighter. "El, I'm so sorry…" Her own tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed in his hair. "I never, ever meant to hurt you…"
He clung to her tighter, trembling subtly. How did she expect him to go on without her when she left? He'd had a hard enough time when she'd been transferred to Computer Crimes, but at least then he'd been able to visit her, to talk to her.
It had nearly killed him going six weeks without her by his side, wondering if she was happy, if she was safe. She could have died, and he would have never known the feeling of her in his arms, of his lips on hers.
His hands formed fists at her back, gently pressing her closer to him as he tried to catch his breath.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't leave, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air
Suddenly he guided her down onto the floor, and without a word brought his lips crashing against hers. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All he could do was feel. Feel her body beneath his, feel her lips pressed tightly against his as she returned his heated kiss.
Stunned at first, she quickly returned the kiss, putting as much desperation and heart into the act as he did. They both needed this, and neither was willing to put a stop to it.
He needed to feel her skin more than he needed his next breath, and he quickly peeled her shirt off and tossed it aside. Then he yanked his own shirt off and kissed her again.
Her hands moved up and down his muscular back, urging him to continue his fervent ministrations. She'd had sexual encounters before, but none shook her to her very core, or made her cry out with just a single touch. Not like he did. How he did it, she had no idea. All she knew was that she needed it to continue.
He gladly obliged and helped her shed her pajama bottoms. Then he pulled back and admired her olive skin, toned body, and luscious lips. She was perfect, and he couldn't resist burying his face in the soft, inviting skin of her neck. "Liv…" He let his eyes drift shut.
She turned her head and nipped at his ear, one long leg winding around his waist and drawing him even closer to her. She felt his heart beating wildly, and briefly she wondered if her own heart was moving just as fast.
He groaned softly, allowing his calloused hand to run along her side. He couldn't let her go. He wouldn't.
Suddenly neither of them could catch their breath.
No air, air
No air, air
They both cried out as he slid into her, and without hesitation began to move inside of her. God, she felt incredible, and when she breathed his name, he felt his heart stop.
"Elliot…"
She reached up and raked her nails lightly over his broad shoulders, arching her back and pressing herself closer to him.
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air
With a soft grunt, he shifted all of his weight to one arm, supporting himself carefully. Then he ran the fingers of his free hand over her face. "Look at me, Liv." His voice was husky and low, sending shivers up and down her spine.
She finally looked up into his eyes, and once again her breath was stolen away by the tender emotions she saw in the cerulean depths.
He kissed her again, moving his hips slowly against hers. What she did to him…
Her nails dug into his shoulders again. "Yes, Elliot…"
He grinned cockily, his hand finding a firm, round breast and teasing it with sure fingers.
She suddenly flipped him onto his back, grinning wickedly at the soft sound of surprise he made. Her hands gripped his shoulders firmly before she started to move on him.
He reached out and grasped her perfect hips, gripping gently as he breathlessly encouraged her to move faster.
Her dark head fell back as she groaned in ecstasy. She could try forever, but she had a feeling that she would never grow tired of this man beneath her.
His hands moved from her hips to cup her firm ass, something he had wanted to do for the longest time.
A laugh escaped her as his curious hands moved over her skin, exploring and finally pushing her over the edge and into the arms of ecstasy.
When she screamed his name, he smirked and rolled her onto her back again, murmuring her name over and over into her neck.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't leave, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air
She opened her eyes to see him moving over her, his face the picture of pleasure and contentment. It was then that she decided that this man was going to be the death of her. But what a way to go…
He smoothed his hand over her hair, then kissed her deeply as he thrust into her again. How he could be with anyone else after tonight… His thoughts became jumbled and incoherent as she bucked beneath him and nipped at his neck.
"Let go," she coaxed, running her hands over his shoulders.
His body suddenly tensed, and before he could stop himself he collapsed into her open arms.
"Fuck, Liv…"
She tightened around him, then went limp against the carpet, lightly nuzzling his damp neck with her nose. If it wasn't for his warm, muscular body in her arms, she would swear that this had all been a wonderful, incredible dream.
But they were really there. She was really holding him, and before she realized it, warm tears were escaping her chocolate eyes.
Gently he rolled over, pulling her with him and stroking her hair. "Shh, Liv…" He kissed her forehead, then wiped her tears away before kissing her reassuringly.
She laughed softly, relaxing into her arms. "Did… did we really just…?" Her voice trailed off, awed.
He nodded, breathing deeply. "Yeah, we did."
She snuggled into his chest, feeling incredible and wanted as he cradled her in his arms.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't leave, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air
The next morning, Olivia opened her eyes, and for a moment, she wasn't sure of where she was. Then her eyes focused, and she realized that she was staring up at her bedroom ceiling. Confused, she looked around and found herself completely alone in the room.
Memories from the previous night came flooding back, and she reached across the mattress, finding it cold and empty. Her thoughts turned to the worst. It had all been a dream, or… She swallowed hard, suddenly terrified. He had regretted it after all and left, too angry and disgusted with her to even stay to explain himself.
Her hand gripped the sheet, slowly wrapping it around her naked form.
Suddenly the bedroom door opened, and Elliot popped his head in, grinning brightly. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." He walked in, dressed only in a pair of sweatpants that he had left on one of his overnight stays, when their work followed them to one of their homes.
She relaxed and returned the smile as he carried a cup of coffee to her. "Hey…"
He handed the coffee to her, then leaned over and laid several soft kisses on her neck. "Last night was incredible, Liv…"
She groaned softly, setting the coffee on the nightstand by her bed and drawing him into her arms. "Yeah, it was." Her hand moved gently over the bandage on his chest.
He closed his fingers around her hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. "You… don't regret it, do you?"
"Of course not, El…" She gently pushed him back against the pillows and snuggled into him. "I wouldn't change it for anything."
He nodded, relieved. "Good. Because…" Her hand began caressing his chest, and he concentrated on the movement. "Because I called Kathy this morning. I'm going to sign the papers this afternoon." He studied her face intently, gently stroking her cheek.
She looked stunned. "El, are you… are you sure?" she breathed.
He nodded, moving his fingers into her thick hair. "I'm sure, Olivia. I can't… let you go. I need you too damn much."
She sucked in a soft breath. "I need you, too." More than the breath that she took.
His face relaxed into a relieved smile. He knew that she meant it, and he gently drew her against him again, then kissed her hair. Next to his children, the woman in his arms meant more than anything to him, and he had no intention of ever letting her go again. He simply couldn't do it.
"I love you, Elliot."
He was surprised, but when he looked into her warm eyes, he knew that she wasn't lying. She did love him. "I love you, too, Liv," he murmured, brushing a thick strand of hair out of her face.
And suddenly they could both breathe again.
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
The End!
A/N: Whew, so much fun to write. The whole time, I was listening to No Air, and every time I hear it, I just wanna scream EO!!! Thanks for reading, and please review! Woo hoo for story number 375!