This...this is...I have no idea what this is, really.

Probably my attempt at humor.

Well, anyway. This will be a fic where Fairy Tail is a professional sport team of various professional sports. For example! Ice hockey, baseball, roller derby, horse racing, etc. This fic will mostly be about the players and not really about the sports, so...

Anyway.

Yeah...I don't really have an explanation for this. All I got is that I was at a hockey game full of lots of fights and misconduct and wondered how Fairy Tail would fare if they were a hockey team.

Likely not well. Not well at all.

I don't have a plot for this. Anything added here will probably be one-shots that play into the overall theme.

This will not be accurate. I'm not a professional sports player, so I'm really just winging it.

Pairing(s): None

Warning(s): language, snark in a heaping amount - like, bring a lifeboat amount of snark

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or the game of ice hockey

Chapter Summary: Natsu really has no idea what he's walking into.

I: The Transfer

Natsu Dragneel shouldered his duffel bag uncomfortably. A frown adorned his face as he raised a hand to knock on the door in front of him. A faint, "Come in!" sounded, and he transformed his face to an indifferent expression as he opened the door and walked into the office.

The pinked haired man blinked at the small old man who was sitting on the desk, sipping a drink. He was wearing orange pants, brown shoes, and an orange and blue jacket over a white shirt with a black Fairy Tail emblem upon it. A blue and orange pronged hat rested over his white hair. The old man raised a curious eyebrow at his guest and Natsu took the hint, stepping forward.

"Coach Dreyar?" At the nod, Natsu continued. "I'm Natsu Dragneel, I'm transferring to Fairy Tail." As soon as the words were out of Natsu's mouth, he could see the old geezer's face brighten in understanding and a grin appeared under his white mustache.

"Ah, yes! Welcome, welcome! Name's Makarov Dreyar, nice to meet ya!" Came his cheerful greeting. "Let me see those transfer papers of yours and make sure everything is in ship-shape. Then we'll get you settled." Natsu rummaged around in his duffel and pulled out his wrinkled transfer papers with a sheepish apology that Makarov waved off. A few moments of muttering and squinting at the papers, Makarov threw them on his desk carelessly.

"Everything seems to be in order!" He hopped down from his desk. "Let's go get you a place in the locker room!" He walked briskly out of the office, forcing Natsu to jog to catch up. "Now, the team is scheduled for practice in about two hours so the rink is empty if you want to get a feel of where you'll be playing before your teammates arrive."

Natsu nodded, dark eyes flicking everywhere to take in his new surroundings. Pictures of people lined the walls, people Natsu could only assume were on the team. He paused to examine one; four people clad in the black, white, and red Fairy Tail uniforms: one petite blonde with warm brown eyes and a sunny smile, a fierce (and intimidating) looking redhead, a smirking ginger whose fluffy hair resembled a lion's mane, and a handsome, pale-skinned man with raven hair and dark eyes.

"Here's the locker room!" Natsu started at the old man's words and hurried to catch up. He stepped into the room and studied where he would be placing his gear for the foreseeable future. The carpet was black surrounding a depiction of a red and white ice rink with a black Fairy Tail emblem in the centre. Wood paneling lined most of the room and formed the 'cubbies' where the Fairy Tail players stored their jerseys, skates, and other hockey gear. A whiteboard hung on the wall nearest to the door, already littered with the X's and O's of player positions, as well as random messages and strange doodles scribbled by various team members. Natsu wandered over to investigate:

'FT #1'

'Bickslow is breathing on me. Make him stop. –Lucy'

'Can't do that, dear. We're saving him in case we ever need him for food. 3 Ever'

'Stop that damn stripping habit, Icicle Pants!'

'Fuck off, Junk Yard!'

'Can we cease these childish antics? We are professionals, we should act like it. –FJ '

'Fightin' a losing battle there, Freedy. ~Cana'

Natsu chuckled to himself. This team certainly seemed like it was composed of nothing but a bunch of characters. Maybe this transfer would not be so awful. He moved his gaze to study the rest of the locker room. Directly across from the whiteboard in the dead centre was a nameplate reading: Fullbuster. To the left of Fullbuster's locker was the name Dreyar and to the right read Scarlet. Natsu scanned the names of his future teammates. Skeith, Heartfilia, Strauss, Alberona, Redfox, Regulus, LeFey, Justine, Strauss, Lockser, Rocko, Alors, Mulan, Connell, Conbolt, Mine... Natsu ran his eyes down all the rest of names, sweeping up both sides of the locker room until he spotted the empty space next to Dreyar's locker.

"Is this...?"

Makarov noticed where Natsu was gesturing. "Yes. You'll be taking the slot of Mystogan Staves who departed for personal reasons. He was a right-winger as well. I hope you're prepared, Natsu," Makarov's voice became serious. "You will have to try your hardest in order to pick up the slack stemming from Mystogan's departure. Mystogan was a superb player, don't assume your task will be easy, And as for the team, Mystogan was well-liked, even if he was a bit more antisocial than normal, but many of my children aren't fond of change. I hope that the welcome you receive will be a good one, but I know my kids and it'll take a while for them to warm up to you."

The rush of ice-cold air soothed Natsu as he stepped onto the ice. True to the Coach's words, the rink was empty and Natsu was allowed to practice in peace. He skated laps around the rink, a couple forwards, a couple backwards. He practiced changing directions on a dime and the occasional jump. Makarov showed him where to find the practice equipment and left Natsu to fire shot after shot at the empty net he set up. He had been practicing for a little less than forty-five minutes when a voice interrupted him.

"Hey! You must be the new guy!"

Natsu turned to see a girl with blonde hair and a bright grin. She was all decked out in her gear, waving at him as she hopped into the rink and skated over to him. "My name's Lucy Heartfilia! It's nice to finally meet you. Coach has been saying that we'd be getting a new teammate for weeks now, so I'm glad you finally made it!"

Lucy was very cheerful, Natsu noted. "Natsu Dragneel." He greeted with a small smile. "You here to practice I take it?"

"Yep!" Lucy nodded and tapped her stick against the ice. "I usually come here a couple hours earlier than normal practice to get myself warmed up for the warm-ups." She added with a laugh.

Natsu blinked. "'Warmed up for the warm-ups'?" he echoed. "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the warm-ups?"

"Well, not really," Lucy began as the pair started skating laps, "our captain expects nothing but the best so he makes the warm-ups difficult so that we get used to working that hard and then begins practice. It used to make us horribly exhausted, but we realised that we were a lot more prepared for our games as we were less tired by the third." Lucy let out another laugh. "Seems like our hard work has improved our stamina!"

Natsu nodded, taking in that information. "So," he lined up the puck, "you a good shot?" He fired. The puck sailed into the net.

Lucy smirked devilishly. "Am I?" Her wrist flicked and she slammed the puck into the net. She turned back to the wide-eyed newbie, her smirk wider. "I'm one of our top scorers." Natsu stared wide-eyed at her before breaking out into an impressed laugh.

"That was awesome! Let's see who can score the most!" He challenged with a toothy grin. Lucy tapped her stick on the ice in agreement and the challenge was on. Shot after shot, the pile of pucks inside the net grew as each player tried their damnedest to outshoot the other. When the pucks ran out, they turned to each other.

"15!" "15!" Their voices mingled as they shouted their numbers. They paused for a moment before breaking out into laughter again. Lucy patted Natsu on the shoulder.

"If you can keep up with me, you'll be just fine here." She praised encouragingly. "Hey, maybe there's a chance you'll be as good as our captain!" They skated to the rink door and walked back to the locker room.

"Who is the captain anyway?" Natsu wondered aloud.

"Huh...?" Lucy frowned in confusion, but brightened a second later. "Oh that's right! You're new. Well, our captain was originally supposed to be Laxus," she pointed to the Dreyar cubby, but he always got a little too angry too quickly about the tiniest of mistakes. And it was no secret that he really wanted to try his hand at coaching." She then pointed to the Scarlet nameplate. "Then Coach tried Erza, but she gets way too competitive and kept threatening to break the players' kneecaps, both opponents for getting in her way and teammates for also getting in her way."

Natsu gulped at her descriptions of two of his new teammates. Especially at Scarlet's.

Lucy continued, pointing at Fullbuster. "Since Coach was a bit leery about giving either of them the captaincy, he decided on the happy medium: Gray." She paused and tapped her chin with her finger. "Well, not so much 'happy'; more 'grumpy and moody'. But Gray's pretty slow to anger and only threatens to break your kneecaps when you annoy him. Thus, the medium between Laxus and Erza."

"And there was no one else?" Natsu asked in disbelief. Lucy shrugged.

"Gray, Laxus, and Erza, are our best players. Laxus is killer in defense, Erza's the best goaltender, and Gray is not only our fastest player, but also one of our top three scorers. The others being myself and, well, Mystogan. Loke," she pointed to Regulus, "is a pretty damn good scorer, though, as is Freed, and Evergreen's the fastest behind Gray." Lucy gestured to Justine and LeFey respectively.

"Do they have violent tendencies as well?"

Lucy chuckled. "We're Fairy Tail, Natsu. We all have violent tendencies. Loke's also a huge playboy, unfortunately; so don't be surprised if you find a gaggle of random girls outside of the locker room. Freed is nice, very quiet and is usually reading books in languages none of us can understand. Ever's rather intense about her love of faeries and all things mythical so don't you dare insult them around her. And that's talking about only three of us." She added with smirk.

Natsu gaped before he shook his head with a rueful laugh. "You are all crazy."

Lucy's smirk turned mischievous. "Why are you only talking about us, Mister Dragneel? You are one of us now, so..." She slung an arm over his shoulder in solidarity. "Welcome to crazy town, Natsu Dragneel!"

I feel like I should just sit here and apologize

Thanks for reading