Chapter 1:
"I can't believe this is happening again." Brooke blinked completely stunned by her best friends confession. It felt like déjà vu. Peyton was telling her she was in love with Lucas.
"I'm sorry Brooke. I can't help the way I feel." Peyton said hoping Brooke would understand. She desperately hoped that Brooke would somehow understand.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" yelled Brooke narrowing her eyes into daggers. "That's the best you can come up with?"
Peyton looked at her friend dejectedly. She had never wanted to hurt Brooke but felt she owed her best friend the truth considering what had happened last time. She thought the truth is what Brooke would've wanted. Peyton had internally struggled with the decision as to whether or not she should tell Brooke the truth about her feelings for Lucas. But in the end, she couldn't suppress her feelings any longer and this time she was going to do things differently, she wasn't going to lie and go behind Brooke's back, she was going to be honest and she hoped that would count for something.
"I wanted to be honest with you. I didn't want to lie to you again-" started Peyton as Brooke cut her off.
"Again?" scoffed Brooke. "Do you hear yourself Peyton? I'm suppose to be your best friend! And here you are telling me you have feelings for my boyfriend, again! And that you don't want to lie to me, again! Unbelievable."
"I'm-" Peyton tried again.
"No, I don't want to hear it. Just because you chose to be honest with me this time Peyton doesn't mean it hurts any less. I'm done Peyton, I'm done." Brooke said suddenly feeling tired, picking up her purse and storming out of Peyton's house. She was furious that Peyton would do this to her again. They had been best friends since childhood, survived absentee parents, a dead mother and the awkward pre teen years together, never did Brooke think that all it would take was a guy to tear their life long friendship apart. She realized their relationship wasn't what it once was since the first time she found out about Peyton and Lucas but now it was definitely over. She would never be able to trust the girl she once considered a sister again.
Brooke got into her VW Buggy and began to drive home. Home, she thought to herself, the same home that she shared with Lucas and Karen. She had no idea what she was going to say to him. She had to wonder if Lucas still had feelings for Peyton as well. Brooke tried to shake the uncertainty from her mind. No, she told herself, he said he loved her not Peyton. Her thoughts continued to consume her and before long she found herself parked in the driveway.
Slowly Brooke stepped out of the car and hesitantly walked towards the front door. Luckily when she walked in she realized no one was home yet. She let out a sigh of relief as she walked up the stairs and into her room. She sank into her mattress for a moment before turning over to open her night stand. Brooke reached in and pulled out a photo album. She sat up on her bed crossing her legs and lay the album on them before opening it. She looked at the first picture of Lucas and her at the beach kissing. They had been so blissfully happy that day. She smiled sadly and allowed her fingers to gently graze the photo as tears filled her hazel eyes. Brooke flipped to the next page and her tears and sadness were replaced with anger for the boy she loved and her best friend. The photo was of Lucas and Peyton at one of the games after parties, sitting on the couch together in one of their intense deep conversations. Brooke wondered why she had been so blind to it before, how could she had not known of their affair behind her back when it was so painfully obvious.
Brooke slammed the album shut bitterly. She couldn't do this, not again. She had been left so hurt the first time she was betrayed by her best friend and boyfriend. She refused to let it happen again. Brooke wasn't stupid, she knew that when she and Lucas first started dating no one thought they would work, she didn't even think they would work. After all, she was just the dumb, slutty cheerleader and he was the intellectual, brooding jock. But somewhere along the way they fell in love. That love however, wasn't enough for Lucas the first time and now Brooke wondered why it would be enough this time. She knew she had to talk to him but she needed to decide what she was actually going to say to him.
What was she going to do, what should she do? Brooke didn't want to lose Lucas, but she knew that she never fully had him to begin with. Lucas had never confided in her the way he did with Haley or Peyton and she doubted that he ever would. She felt like she was hanging on to her relationship by a string and Peyton was the proverbial pair of scissors that would break them apart forever. Brooke thought of confronting Lucas and asking him if he had any residual feelings for Peyton. He would of course say no, but deep down Lucas wasn't over Peyton. She thought about all the tears she had shed because of Lucas and Peyton, all in the name of her love for him. The hurt she experienced was unlike any other coming from the two people she loved the most and who claimed to have loved her back. She then thought about the speeches he made declaring his love for her, and it all ended the same, she would believe him and they would make up. But no matter what her insecurities (well Peyton) would always rear its ugly head into their relationship. As much as she knew that Lucas thought he loved her, Brooke knew that he would never be over Peyton and now that Peyton had admitted her feelings for him, it would be inevitable. Lucas and Peyton will once again break her heart and Brooke was not going to let that happen again. Either way, her heart was going to be broken but this time she wanted it to be on her terms.
Tears stained Brooke's face as she silently laid back down on her mattress. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander. Was she really going to go through with what she decided, was she really able to finally let Lucas go? She didn't know the answer but all she knew was that she had to. Brooke contemplated not telling Lucas what Peyton had said but quickly shook that away, she knew that Lucas would find out, that Peyton would eventually say something to him. Then she panicked a bit when she realized that she would have to find somewhere else to stay. Surely there would be no way that she could keep living under the same roof as Lucas if they broke up. She got up off her bed and walked over to her closet to find one her duffel bags from cheer practice. She quickly filled the bag with toiletries, makeup and clothes.
"Brooke?" Lucas asked knocking on her bedroom door. Brooke froze in her spot and looked at the clock, Lucas must be coming from basketball practice.
"Coming." she said, her voice raspy as she placed the duffel bag by her door and quickly wiped her face of the smeared eyeliner and mascara. She took a quick glance at the mirror and sighed as she thought that Lucas would immediately that something was wrong. Brooke's stomach felt like it was in knots and swallowed hard as nausea suddenly overcame her. She reached for the dark knob and took a deep breath before turning it.
"Hey Luke." Brooke greeted Lucas, not meeting his eyes.
"Hey Pretty Girl, I missed you today." smiled Lucas walking up to engulf his petite girlfriend in a hug. He frowned as he felt Brooke tremble in his arms and swallow a sob.
"Brooke, what's wrong?" Lucas asked concerned, he lifted her chin so he could see her face and was surprised to see her eyes red and her cheeks puffy from crying.
Brooke looked into Lucas' concerned eyes and couldn't speak. She stared at him for a moment before pulling away from him and sitting on her bed.
"I can't do this anymore, not again." she said shaking her head. She looked up to find Lucas with a confused expression etched on his face. She knew she wasn't being very clear or coherent at the moment but she didn't know what to do or say.
"What are you talking about? Do what anymore?" Lucas asked coming up in front of Brooke and kneeling so he could see her face.
"This. Us." said Brooke, motioning her hands between Lucas and herself. "I'm so tired of always wondering what's going on in your head. I'm sick of feeling so insecure, that's not who I am Luke and I refuse to be that person anymore."
"Brooke, I don't understand where all this is coming from." Lucas said, a sick feeling began to creep up his stomach. He didn't like where this conversation was going. He stared at her intensely, his blue eyes bearing into her soul, but he couldn't read her, he never really could. All he knew was that she was hurting and he would give anything to take her pain away. He gently reached up to her face and brushed away her tears. "Please, tell me what's going on."
"I was with Peyton today and she told me…" Brooke started but was unable to finish her sentence as fresh tears fell from her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to gather her thoughts before continuing.
Lucas tensed as he heard Peyton's name. His mind flashed back to the kiss that he and Peyton had shared during the shooting. Lucas began to panic and dropped his hand from Brooke's face.
"Brooke, I'm sorry I never told you, she thought she was dying and she asked me to kiss her. I swear it didn't mean anything to me." Lucas said frantically.
Brooke's head shot up and her eyes widened with hurt. No, she thought to herself, she must've been hearing things. There could've been no way that Lucas just told her that he kissed Peyton, again. And lied to her about it, again. She just looked at him, stunned by his confession.
"What did you just say?" she asked slowly.
"Brooke, please, I know I should've told you about the kiss but it didn't mean anything to me. I love you not Peyton." Lucas pleaded, searching her eyes. He was surprised to find confusion and shock clouding her hazel orbs.
"You kissed her? When?" demanded Brooke as she dried her eyes. Hurt quickly became anger as her boyfriends words finally began to sink in.
"I…" Lucas started as he realized that Brooke had no idea of the kiss he shared with Peyton. He closed his eyes, unable to face Brooke, knowing that he had hurt her again after promising her everything. He hated that he was always letting her down.
"You, what? Tell me Lucas!" cried Brooke. A mixture of emotions stirred within her. She felt hurt, betrayed, devastated, angry and a little relieved. She realized that all her insecurities and doubt were not just a figment of her imagination but were justified.
"It was during the shooting, and we thought she was dying. She asked me for one last kiss. I swear Brooke, that was it. Nothing else happened and nothing has happened since then. The kiss didn't mean anything to me, you have to believe me." Lucas said, reaching out to Brooke.
"A kiss always means something." she responded looking up at him sadly. She wondered how someone could claim to love another and hurt them so badly. She didn't even have the strength to be angry at the moment. "I have to go."
Brooke let go of Lucas' hands and walked over to the door and picked up her duffel bag.
"I was going to tell you that Peyton told me today that she still has feelings for you. I was so hurt and I didn't understand why or how this could've happened again, but now that I know about the kiss, it makes sense." Brooke informed Lucas before walking out the door. She heard Lucas get up from behind her and she tried to make her exit as quick as possible.
"Brooke, wait!" yelled Lucas, running down the stairs after her. He wasn't going to let her walk out on him, he loved her, he really did and he hated himself for hurting her once again. He needed to make things right.
Brooke paused at the front door. Her hand already on the handle but yet she couldn't bring herself to open it. She knew she should just leave and not look back but yet part of her wanted Lucas to fight for her, to show her that he loved her and only her. So she chose to wait and see what he had to say.
"Please, don't go. We can fix this, we can make this work. I'm sorry I never told you. I love you, and only you. You can't just give up on us without a fight." Lucas desperately pleaded to Brooke.
"You kiss Peyton, again and lied to be, again, and I'm the one that's giving up?! I've been fighting for us and holding on to us but every time I turn around you're with Peyton. You tell her things that you should be telling me. When Keith died, you went to her when you should've come to me. Why can't you just let me all the way in? I can't do this anymore. I'm sick of being your second choice." Brooke cried, shaking her head before opening the door handle and walking out to her car.
"No, Brooke, I'm not letting you do this. Please, we have to talk about this. Where are you going?" asked Lucas running up to her once again but this time placing his hand around her arm, physically trying to stop her. He couldn't believe that his world was falling apart in front of him and he felt helpless to stop it. Lucas loved Brooke, truly, he did and he knew that his actions spoke otherwise but he never meant to shut her out or to make her feel like his second choice. He vowed to show her if she gave him another chance.
"I don't know, but all I know is that I can't be here right now ok? So just let me go." Brooke sighed. She gently pulled her arm out of Lucas' grasp and got into her car. All Lucas could do was watch as Brooke backed out of his driveway and drove away into the darkening evening. He knew he had blew his chance with Brooke and that he had lost his Pretty Girl forever.
Nathan dribbled the ball hard and he drove to the net, jumping up for the dunk at the top of the key. The ball slammed hard through the net, as the momentum swung his body from the hoop, the light breeze cooling his sweaty body. He let go of the metal and landing on the hard concrete as the basketball bounced at his feet. Nathan lifted the bottom of his white t shirt and wiped the sweat dripping from his face. He decided to come to the Rivercourt to blow off some steam. He had been here for what felt like hours now, practicing, trying to take his mind off Haley. Haley. His wife. His wife who had run off to go on tour with Chris Keller after she had admitted she kissed him. The thought infuriated Nathan, he couldn't believe that Haley would do something so irrational, without a seconds thought or consideration for Nathan or their marriage.
Nathan had returned home to the apartment he shared with Haley to find her bags at the door and that's when she broke the news to him.
"I've decided that I'm going to tour with Chris." Haley said nervously, unconsciously playing with her wedding band.
"What?" asked Nathan, this was not what he was expecting to come home to. He looked around at all her packed bags and then around the apartment. Most of her things were now gone. "You're being serious?"
Haley nodded.
"This is an incredible opportunity for me Nathan. This is my dream." she said.
"I realize that Haley, but Keller? That guy is just trying to sleep with you!" Nathan said angrily. It was so obvious to him as to how transparent Chris was being, he couldn't believe that Haley was naïve enough to buy it.
"Oh, so it has nothing to do with my talent is that what you're saying?" demanded Haley.
"No, I never said that, but what do you think he wants from you Hales? The guy's made it pretty obvious that he's into you." responded Nathan in a hard tone. He couldn't believe that she would leave with the same guy that had been such a thorn in their marriage.
"Nathan, this had nothing to do with him. This about me following my dreams." Haley said, trying to convince Nathan and partially herself. She wasn't a stupid girl, she knew Chris had feelings for her and she hadn't exactly stopped him when he kissed her.
"Oh yeah, and what about us? How would you feel if I had gone with Rachel to Europe this summer?" asked Nathan raising his voice now.
"That is not the same thing Nathan! Rachel doesn't play an integral part as to whether or not you make it to the NBA!" shouted Haley back. Her nostrils flared at the thought of the red headed cheerleader that went after her husband shamelessly. "Chris can open up so many doors for me, he said that depending on how well the first half of the tour goes, I could end up co headlining the rest of the tour."
"It is the same thing Haley, you were pissed when Rachel came on to me. You on the other hand, kissed Keller. You know how I feel about that jerk. Is it really surprising that I'm not exactly thrilled about my wife spending the entire summer with this scumbag?" retorted Nathan. "It's either him or me."
"Are you giving me an ultimatum? I can't believe you Nathan. I would never ask you to give up basketball for me." Haley said, her voice shaking with anger. How dare he ask her to give up her dreams, she thought to herself. "Singing and performing makes me happy Nathan, I thought you of all people would understand that."
"I do understand, you know I do." Nathan said, his expression softening as he saw tears sliding down Haley's face.
"So you know why this is so important to me then." Haley pleaded Nathan to understand.
"Yeah, I do, but that doesn't mean that I trust Keller because I don't. And honestly Hales, I don't trust the two of you together." said Nathan matter of factly. It was either him or the tour, not both. Nathan knew he wasn't being fair, it would've been like if Haley had made him choose between her and basketball but then again, neither was Haley, she was about to go off with a guy who she knew had feelings for her and he questioned what her feelings were for him.
"I can't believe this Nathan. You know what, fine. You're right. I don't know what my feelings are for Chris." admitted Haley. She immediately regretted saying those words once she saw the hurt look on her husbands face, but it was time that she was honest with him and herself. "Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we weren't ready to be married yet."
She took off her wedding ring and left.
Nathan growled in frustration. He couldn't believe his wife had left him for another man. Well, not just for another man but that's what it felt like. He was beyond hurt at this point and didn't know what to do. Nathan loved Haley with his whole being and the thought of losing her shook him at his core. Then he thought about the fact that he would be going home alone. He sighed as he didn't want to think about this anymore, it was giving him a headache. He walked over and picked up the basketball. He figured if Haley was off following her dream, he might as well be working on his.
Brooke drove aimlessly around town, her mind still reeling from everything that had just taken place. She still had no idea where she was going, she couldn't exactly go to Peyton and Rachel who was on vacation, was currently unreachable. She sighed as she realized how truly alone she was. Brooke contemplated calling her parents but knew that it really wouldn't end well and decided she would rather handle this on her own. Tears began to blur her vision as she drove by the Rivercourt. Lucas. That was always the first thing that came to her mind whenever she was there. She swallowed hard as she stared at the basketball court. She could make out a figure practicing shots in the distance. She thought back to all the times she had sat on the benches and watched Lucas play and how surprisingly she enjoyed it. Another wave of sadness washed over her as she blinked away more tears, she couldn't stay here any longer she decided, when she heard a horn blaring at her and headlights flash before her. She hadn't realized that she had drifted into the next lane. She gasped and veered her car out of harms way, narrowly avoiding the oncoming vehicle. Her heart was pounding as Brooke jerked her hand to the right, swerving off the road, and into the shoulder, slamming into the metal railing. She jerked up from her seat, hitting her head on the rear view mirror while her body projected awkwardly against her arms against the steering wheel.
"Dammit!" she cried as she gingerly rubbing her forehead. Brooke groaned as the pain stung her forehead and radiated to the back of her head and down her neck. That was for sure going to leave a mark, she thought, wincing at the pain that was now coming from her left arm. She sat in shock for a moment, her heart still beating a thousand times a minute. She took a deep breath and attempted to calm down. Her hands shook as she turned off the ignition of her car and looked out to see the damage. Brooke cringed at the sight of her crumpled hood. She took another shaky breath and leaned her forehead on the steering wheel, her head throbbing. The cool steering column felt soothing against her pulsating skull and she closed her sensitive eyes to block out the bright ray coming from the streetlamp above her and contemplated what she should do next.
The sound of a loud horn brought Nathan out of his thoughts as he directed his attention to the road. He looked up just in time to see a black truck whizzing by and a Buggy swerve into the railing off the side of the road. His eyes widened as he realized that it was Brooke's car. He immediately dropped his basketball and started making his way towards her, panicking when he didn't see her come out of the car or make any movement. He couldn't believe the jerk in the truck drove off without seeing if she was alright. Nathan crossed the court and hurried to the road, picking up speed as he went along.
"Brooke!" he yelled as he ran up to the driver side window. He panicked as he saw her not moving, laying face forward on the steering wheel. Nathan knocked on the window when she didn't respond. Slowly Brooke looked out at him, clearly disoriented. He let out a relieved breath as he opened the car door.
"Nathan?" she asked trying to focus but her head was still throbbing.
"Yeah, it's me. Are you ok?" asked Nathan concerned. He bent his knees to meet her at eye level, checking her body and face to make sure there weren't any serious injuries. He was relieved when he didn't see anything obvious, but was concerned at how out of it she was.
"I think so, I just hit my head. And my arm hurts." responded Brooke wincing as she moved her head.
"Ok, let's get you out of here." said Nathan. He reached around her small frame and tried to help her out of the car. Nathan felt her body shakily step out of the car and he picked her up when she lost her balance attempting to stand upright. "Whoa, easy there Davis, I got you."
"Thank you Nathan." Brooke said, her voice quivering a little. Her head was still spinning when she rested it on Nathan's chest. The sound of his heart pounding against his chest soothed her.
Nathan brought her over to his car and gently placed her in the passenger seat.
"I'm going to take you to the hospital to get checked out." Nathan said firmly, looking down concerned for his friend.
"No!" Brooke shook her head adamantly. "I'm fine, just a little shaken up, that's all."
Nathan gave her a sceptical look.
"I really think you should be looked at by a doctor, you're pretty out of it Davis." Nathan said unconvinced.
"No, really I'm fine Nathan." Brooke said with a little smile in hopes to sway him.
"Ok, but if you start feeling worse you have to go." Nathan reluctantly agreed. He knew there was no way to change Brooke's mind.
Brooke nodded gratefully and turned to look at her car.
"My poor car…" she groaned. She pouted as glanced over, as it looked unsalvageable to her.
"I think it looks worse than it is. You'll need a new front end and hood but I think it was the way it hit that bottom railing that caused your hood to fold up like that. But the engine and everything else seems intact and there's no fluid leaking from anywhere which is a good sign." Nathan said.
"How do you know all that?" questioned Brooke surprised at the knowledge he obtained.
"Keith and Lucas." answered Nathan simply.
Brooke sighed at the mention of her ex boyfriend's name.
"Ok, since you won't go to the hospital how bout I drive you home and we'll figure out what to with your car tomorrow." suggested Nathan as he began driving towards Lucas' house.
"No!" Brooke said abruptly, jerking in her seat. The movement caused her head to spin again, so she laid back and closed her eyes.
"What, why not?" Nathan wondered, looking over at Brooke. He studied her closely and saw the visible mark on her forehead as well as her puffy, swollen eyes and cheeks. A telltale sign of crying. He sighed and wondered what his half brother had done now.
"Lucas and I aren't together anymore. I was leaving his place when I got into the accident." Brooke said slowly. Tears slowly starting to form in her eyes as reality set in. She took a couple deep breaths and blinked away her tears.
Nathan looked at Brooke again, stunned. That was the last thing he was expecting her to say.
"Ok, well I can drive you wherever you were going. Let me guess, Peyton's" assumed Nathan.
"Ughh, no not Peyton's either." Brooke said quietly, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. "Honestly I was just driving around, I hadn't thought that far ahead yet."
Nathan eyed Brooke suspiciously, he didn't want to pry but the fact that Brooke wasn't going to Peyton's spoke volumes to him. How could anyone forget what happened when Lucas and Peyton's indiscretions were exposed. He had to wonder if something had happened again.
"You can just drop me off at the hotel Nathan, I brought…oh shit!" groaned Brooke, bringing Nathan out of his thoughts.
"What is it?" asked Nathan.
"My purse and bag are still in my car." Brooke responded apologetically. "I'll need them to check in."
"No big deal, we'll turn around and grab them." Nathan smiled. He could tell Brooke was having a hard enough time already and didn't want to add to it.
"Thanks Nate, I really appreciate everything you're doing for me." Brooke smiled back. Sure Nathan and her had known each other forever now but they weren't close friends or anything and usually he was a bit of an ass. She was surprised at how genuinely nice he was being.
Nathan nodded and turned the car around again back to the Rivercourt.
"Hey, why don't you crash at my place tonight?" suggested Nathan after a few moments of silence.
"What?" asked a surprised Brooke, giving Nathan a funny look.
"You've obviously had a rough night and the last thing you need is to be doing is staying in some hotel." reasoned Nathan. "We can stay over at my parent's beach house, there's lots of space there and it'll have everything you need."
Truthfully, Nathan was hoping that Brooke would agree, not only for her sake but for his as well. He didn't think he could go back to the apartment that he shared with his now estranged wife and it would've been nice to have the company to keep his mind off his own problems.
"Are you sure Nathan? I mean is that really a good idea considering how Haley feels about me?" asked Brooke. The idea of staying at the beach house was much more appealing than some hotel, plus she had spent many drunken nights at the beach house before and pretty much knew her way around. She was a little unsure however, as she didn't want to cause any problems between Nathan and Haley. Things were still a little tense from the sex tape incident and the last thing she wanted was to add to that.
Nathan swallowed hard. He knew that Haley would come up eventually and he also knew that he should be honest with Brooke as she was to him.
"You don't have to worry bout Haley. She took off to tour with Keller." Nathan said shortly, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
"What?! You can't be serious Nathan." blinked Brooke in shock.
"True story." Nathan said bitterly, thinking back to the last conversation he had with his wife. "I came home and all her bags were packed. She didn't even talk to me about it beforehand."
"Nathan, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." sympathized Brooke, studying Nathan's face. She immediately noticed his red eyes and how exhausted he looked. She felt horrible for being wrapped up in her own problems and not noticing he wasn't himself.
"It's fine Davis, how could you have known. Looks like we both had pretty shitty days huh?" Nathan said shaking his head. "I can't go back to the apartment tonight. I was going to stay at the beach house anyway so what do you say?"
"Yeah, I'll stay with you. It'd be nice to stay with a friend instead of being alone in a hotel." agreed Brooke getting the hint that he didn't want to elaborate on the Haley situation. She didn't realize then just how much they needed each other. She was so grateful to Nathan for helping her even in the midst of his own problems. She slowly reached over and took Nathan's hand from the steering wheel and gave it a squeeze.
"Thank you, for everything." Brooke said sincerely.
"No problem." replied Nathan, smiling back at the brunette. They drove the rest of the way in silence, both wrapped up in their own thoughts of what had taken place that evening but also with a new found understanding for the other.