Transformed

TITLE - Transformed
AUTHOR - Tammy M. Parnell
EMAIL ADDRESS: LaLapine@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Anywhere, as long as my name & disclaimer are on it
SPOILER WARNING: One Breath, Redux II
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: AR
SUMMARY: Takes place as Mulder is seated beside Scully's hospital bed, as shown in the preview for REDUX II.
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance
DISCLAIMER: The are not mine. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, Fox Television, and the very talented, EMMY-winning actors who portray them. :) Kurth & Taylor's lyrics are used without permission; no infringement is intended (You may know this band from General Hospital).
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Feedback is nice. Hint, hint.


We lived on dreams and promises
We shared the laughter and the tears
And in the times of uncertainty
You've been my shelter through the fear
And though I always thought
The goal was somehow worth the cost
I've learned I'm not afraid to say
You're the only one I love...

There was a time I fled honesty
Emotions I never showed
Restless dreams they kept haunting me
But I never let you go
Cause if I ever lost
The one and only heart I trust
I could never find my way
You're the only one I love...

Lay your soul down beside me
Let my touch soothe your fears
I'm not quite sure what tomorrow brings
But I'll always be here
You're the only one I love...

--Kurth & Taylor, The Only One I Love

Transformed
by Tammy M. Parnell

You have to tell them that I was the one who killed that man. Her face was pale, her voice weak. But her spirit was strong, and her eyes brimmed with honesty and concern. She was prepared to make the final sacrifice for her partner, her best friend. But he wasn't prepared to accept it.

I can't do that, he said, his voice rough with emotion. His hazel eyes and tender smile spoke volumes as he struggled not to cry.

Mulder, if I can save you, let me. She pleaded with him to accept her help this last time. Worry flooded her weary mind, wondering what would happen once she was gone. The urge to protect him had only strengthened as her body deteriorated. She knew she would never be able to let go if he was in danger. In order to find peace with herself, she needed to know he was safe, that she could save him one last time from the perils that they were so used to facing together.

At her selfless words, he could no longer stop the tears that had been threatening to fall and never end since the nightmarish discovery that her cancer had metastasized. He shook his head as his face trembled. he said in barely a whisper.

God, how she hated to see him cry! She wanted nothing more than the strength to wrap her arms around him and hold him to make the pain go away. It didn't help to know that she was the source of his tears. Why not? she asked finally, observing his loss of the battle to remain in control, wondering how much more she could take before she joined his defeat.

He looked away from her and clenched his fists, his face contorting in determination. It's not over, his strained voice insisted. You're not going to die. You can't.

She hated to hurt him more, but she had no choice. He had to face this demon. She waited for him to look at her, but he stubbornly refused. she repeated, speaking anyway, You have to accept it. You have to, or you'll never get through this.

I can't, he said as a sob escaped his throat. I can't, Scully.

Summoning the little strength she had left, Dana lifted her hand to his shoulder, pressuring him slightly towards her. His wet eyes met her brimming ones, and he allowed her small hand to guide his head against her chest. His arms snaked around her back, and he held her tightly as the sobs wracked his body.

It'll be okay, Mulder, she said softly when he had quieted. She took great comfort in the feel of his warm body against hers as she quieted the thoughts in the back of her mind, the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, assaulting her with regrets and might-have-beens.

She cleared her throat in an attempt to rid the tears from her voice. You can get through this, Mulder. You have to continue our journey for both of us. Find the truth. Seek justice. I have always had the courage of your beliefs, Mulder. You need to have the courage of mine now.

He rested against her for several moments before finally leaving the shelter of her body. He raised up only slightly, on his elbows, as he spoke, his voice laced with determination and emotion. I would give up *anything* to save you, Scully. All of it--the X-Files, the truth... my sister. I would give it all up if it would save you.

She barely trusted her voice as tears slid down her cheeks. I know, she whispered.

He freed one of his hands and used it to gently wipe away the salty drops on her porcelain features. Smoothing back her auburn hair, their eyes locked blue in brown. He lowered his face slowly, and his warm lips met hers, softly, lovingly.

He moved slightly away when their lips gently parted and saw that she was smiling her very best enigmatic DanaScullySmile. Her next words caused him to break into his own sorrowful smile. Better than Superstars of the Super Bowl, she said with a fond catch in her voice.

Stupid video, he berated himself, recalling the bittersweet memory that had prompted him to give it to her.

she said quickly, a hand on his face. To his confused expression, she ran her hand down to his chest. It came from here, Mulder. From your heart. That's all that mattered to me.

His shakily regained composure threatened to break yet again, and he leaned back to a sitting position, though not letting go of her hand. His eyes gazed across the room, looking at nothing but seeing everything. He was searching for something to say, something to give her in return for her friendship and unconditional love. His Oxford education paid off as he remembered the words of Carl G. Jung.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, he quoted from memory, If there is any reaction, both are transformed. His eyes returned to hers. I will never, ever be the same person I was, Dana. The lump caught in his throat, and he couldn't continue his explanation.

Deeply touched, Dana softly squeezed his hand, feeling the weakness growing ever more aggressive. Slowly, painstakingly, she reached her slim arms behind her neck and undid the clasp of her cherished cross.

Mulder watched her, wanting to help, but knowing her well after four years of partnership, understanding she needed to do this on her own. But as her hand clasped the necklace into his palm, his mouth dropped open in surprise.

I can't take this, he said, feeling undeserving of such a treasured gift.

I wish you smooth sailing, Ahab, she whispered through a smile. Keep me with you, but don't dwell on the past. Live for the future, not for what might have been. I believe in you. I have faith in you.

He did not trust his voice as he accepted her beloved pendant, fingering it gently before clasping it around his neck, intending never to remove it. Finally, his choked up voice managed, I will carry it proudly, Starbuck--with your beliefs.

He was rewarded with yet another smile as Dana knew he had begun to accept the road awaiting them both. Struggling slightly, she moved over enough for him to crawl in beside her. He didn't hesitate to accept this gesture as he rested his long body against hers. His arms slid around her back, and her face nestled against his neck.

*I love you, Mulder,* she said silently, knowing spoken words were unnecessary.

*I love you, Scully,* he replied in his own mind, feeling their bond stronger than it had ever been, and knowing that he would never give up hope of a miracle until her body grew limp and her soul had continued its journey into the next world.

THE END

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No, I won't be afraid
No, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand by me...

--Stand By Me, Ben E. King