DEMONSPreview

TITLE - In response to the preview for DEMONS
AUTHOR - Tammy M. Parnell
EMAIL ADDRESS: LaLapine@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Anywhere, as long as my name's on it
SPOILER WARNING: preview for DEMONS (or did you guess that already?)
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: V, A, R
SUMMARY: M & S's response to a drugged Mulder shooting Scully
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was written before DEMONS aired, so I had no idea if the preview was out of context (as usual) or not, but it sparked an idea nonetheless
DISCLAIMER: they're not mine, i'm not making any money (from this or otherwise), and the only thing I own to sue for is my epileptic hip dysplasiac dog

In response to the preview for DEMONS...
by Tammy M. Parnell

She knew why he hadn't visited her in the hospital. But it still hurt. Sure, it had been painful to see him aiming the gun at her, hear his ugly words, and more so for him to actually pull the trigger, but she had known that it wasn't really him, that he had been drugged somehow. But now it WAS him. And he was staying as far away from her as possible.

Scully sighed as she sipped the last of her tea, slowly rising from her comfortable position on her couch. She had been home from the hospital for only a day, and the bullet wound in her side still hurt. But she couldn't stand to wait around for Mulder to call. She knew that he would dodge her at work, as well, for as long as he could. But they needed to talk. And it needed to be now.

She rinsed her cup out and headed for the door, making sure her partner's key was still hanging from the Apollo key chain he had given her on her birthday. It was, and she clasped it tightly, hoping she would know what to say by the time she arrived at his apartment.

***

Mulder's eyes zoned out to the cheap flick on TV as he sat in the dark, his body sprawled recklessly on the couch, an ever draining bottle of Jack Daniels clenched in his right fist.

The hearing had been today. The accusation of attempted murder was dismissed, just as everyone had said it would be. Mulder was proclaimed to not be at fault for his actions, as it was proven that he had been involuntarily injected with a highly suggestive drug, and upon that injection, he had been programed to act uncharacteristic of himself. He was still with the FBI, still head of the X-Files division.

But he had still tried to kill Dana Scully.

Taking another swig from the bottle, Mulder switched off the video, engulfing the room in darkness, save for the thin streams of moonlight entering through the blinds. He had tried to kill his partner. In cold blood. It didn't matter if he couldn't remember. They had told him what he had done, and that she had been in the hospital. Because of him.

The doorbell rang, and he knew it was her. Just as he knew the flashing red light on his answering machine contained several messages from her, though he hadn't listened to them. And just as he knew she would open the door herself when he didn't answer.

Letting herself in, Dana shut the door behind her and waited for her eyes to adjust. Then she saw the vague shadow on the couch, arm poised to take another drink. Mulder, we have to talk.

His brooding eyes brought the slim figure of his partner into focus, and he turned away. Better leave, Scully. They let me keep my gun.

Dana's heart ached for the guilt he must be feeling. She came and sat beside him, but he jumped up as though burned, turning away from her.



Just go home, Scully, he interrupted firmly, though Dana suspected a slight plea in his voice. Just go home.

she answered simply, remaining seated.

He stood, his back to her, for several awkward minutes. Finally he posed, barely audibly, Why are you here?

You know why I'm here... Mulder, you can't blame yourself.

He turned towards her quickly. Can't blame myself? Who can I blame? Little green men? Scully, I–

she interrupted quickly, a hint of a smile on her mouth.

Mulder's anguished look became confused.

You said little green men. We both know they're actually gray. She was using her most scholarly voice, intended to force a response from him, but to her disappointment, the comment barely registered.

I shot you, Scully. His voice was strained, his eyes boring through the depths of her soul.

No, Mulder, she gently shook her coppery head. You weren't yourself. They drugged you.

He came and sat on the arm of the couch furthest from her, avoiding her eyes. But it was my gun, my hand, my words... He looked at her now, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Even with Modell... but he couldn't finish, his voice choking up.

That was different, Mulder. She reached her hand out to rest on his shoulder, but he tensed at her touch, looking her straight in the eye.

I hurt you. I almost killed you. The understanding and unconditional friendship in her expression was too much for him. He moved from her touch and walked over to the window. Partners are supposed to be able to trust one another, to count on each other to protect them. You're not supposed to need protection from me.

Mulder, you know you're the only one I trust.

Then I'm surprised you're not dead yet.

she stood, her frustration mounting. I'm not going to lie to you, Mulder. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I was hurt. But not of you–FOR you. I knew when you had that gun on me that you weren't yourself. You would never do something like that. Hell, Mulder, no matter how often I've shot down your theories, you've hardly even raised your voice to me. We are partners. We do trust each other. There isn't anyone I'd rather work with.

He grinned grimly. Then you're crazier than I am.

She smiled, peering at him from his side. Maybe I am. But not for trusting you. Never for that.

He couldn't help but glance at those big baby blues, wondering if maybe he could forgive himself after all. His eyes locked with hers a brief moment before traveling down to her side, the spot they'd told him he'd shot her.

Without a word, she lifted her blouse to reveal the bandage. She loosened the gauze to expose the wound, a small circle of healing red. Doesn't hurt much, she said as his fingers reached out slowly to touch the mark he'd left. He looked at her sadly as his hand moved away. But she smiled as she restuck the bandage. Couldn't hurt half as much as your shoulder did that time.

Guess I was paying you back, Mulder remarked, attempting his characteristic humor.

Guess so, she grinned, glad to hear her partner sound more like himself. So now we're even. She held out her hand as if to shake, but Mulder shook his head instead.

You shot me to protect me, my career, hell even Krycek. But I shot you in cold blood.

Her grin faded to anger at his stubborn determination to blame himself. Dammit, Mulder! How many times do I have to tell you, this wasn't your fault. It was probably Cancerman, and you know it as well as I do. He's always been out to get us.

Me! Scully, he's always been out to get ME! You've just been a convenient tool to use to hurt me. His voice was strained.

Then you're letting him win! Mulder, you can't let him beat us. Whether you like it or not, we're in this together, and we always will be. I want to find the truth as much as you. I want to find your sister, and I want to know what happened to three months of my life. Her voice wavered as she tried to hold back her emotion. And I want to find a cure for this damn tumor, so I can live, so I don't have to leave you alone in this whole mess.

Mulder looked at her quickly. Leave me alone? Scully, if you had left me alone in the first place, you would still be well. And your sister would still be alive.

Her face wobbled as she let a few tears break free, slowly shaking her head. No, Mulder. I made my choice. And I'm here. She reached for his hand.

The sight of the tears which she always tried so desperately to conceal from him, along with the reassuring pressure from her hand, caused his own tears to break free, running down his face in a steady stream. She wasn't hiding from him anymore; everything was out in the open now. He reached his other hand out to lift up her chin. That was all it took.

Dana quickly wrapped her arms around her partner, holding him tightly against her as the tears fell faster. Mulder held her equally as tight, his voice choking out, I would never hurt you, Scully. I love you.

She felt his lips touch the top of her head as her heart swelled. I know, Mulder, she answered quietly. I know. I love you, too, she added silently, unable to say the words yet, but knowing Mulder felt them and understood.

They held each other for a long time, long after the tears had stopped, enjoying the rare comfort of being close. Their bond had been strengthened yet again, their friendship tested and enriched. And they knew then with the certainty that comes from experience that together they would win–eventually.


THE END