You'll have to bear with me, guys. I'm currently obsessed with… something else. I have so, so many more stories for TCW and have no plans to stop, but I don't have the same passion that I did before. That's why it's been so slow. But I still love doing it, so I'm not going anywhere! Just letting you know why I've been lax. I'm going to come up with a firm schedule for myself so I won't forget to write. I work better when there's lots of structure. That's the one thing I miss about high school. Well, that and the Steel Drum Band I was in. If you want to buy a CD they're just ten bucks.

This one is sort of a cross over. I'll explain in the next chapter why it HAD to be done, but if you aren't familiar with the game you won't be left in the dust. I mean, I don't even understand it, so… yeah.

The minions were being disciplined. Each one of them had to write a twenty-page essay, 12-point single-spaced, one-inch margins, on the physics of holes in the fabric of reality. Key points to keep in mind were: 1) that holes cut in time and space do not move, 2) they are not hungry and do not crave your meat, 3) they do not get angry, and 4) I can be a better minion using the information I've learned.

Count Bleck wrote off the last mission as a "moderate success," recorded what he learned for entry into the Beige Prognosticus, and began sifting for a new mission. As soon as his wife returned from helping Mario trounce Bowser, he would put his work aside and spend a nice evening with his wife by the fire, discussing literature or worldly affairs over a cup of Koopa Tea. In the meantime, he was at his desk, somewhere between working and pretending to.

Nastasia knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Count Bleck without looking up. He stopped pretending to look busy and began writing again.

She cracked the door and poked her head in. "Yeah, I just have this one action item, K? So, it looks like if we want to get the hole closed, we're going to have to close it ourselves. And the sooner we do, the better, 'cause it looks like it's getting unstable."

Count Bleck heaved a huge sigh. "Very well," he said, putting his papers aside. "Brink the minions to the old lab and I'll show them what to do. Tell them they'll be allowed to use what they see in the paper as long as they cite it in proper APA format."

Nastasia nodded. "Gotchya. I'll page them and have them meet us there."

In under seven minutes, Nastasia had brought Mimi, O'Chunks, and Mr. L to Count Bleck. They cowered in the doorway with Nastasia in the lead, just a step into the room standing straight. Count Bleck was standing a few meters in front of the hole, holding his cane in both hands in front of him.

"Minions," he said.

"Yes, Count Bleck?" they all murmured in shame.

"I can tell by your disappointed voices that you know why I've summoned you right here, right now," said Count Bleck. "I'm glad you all showed up."

"Except Dimentio," said Mimi. "He got eaten by the hole."

"Yes," said Count Bleck lamely. "He was eaten by the hole. I'm going to show you how to handle a hole in time and space such as this one."

"How do you know how?" asked Mr. L.

"I am a member of the Tribe of Darkness," said Count Bleck. "We are more in tune with dimensions than any other race."

"What about Dimentio?"

"Dimentio is an abomination of nature," replied Count Bleck brusquely. "He doesn't fit into any normal conventions. Now, let's deal with the matter at hand. Since none of you are man enough—"

O'Chunks took offense at that first, "Ey, whaddayeh mean, I ehn't man enough?"

The second was Mimi. "Hey, who says you have to be a man to handle it!"

Count Bleck smirked.

"He's doing it to get a rise out of you," said Mr. L.

"You're just saying that because you finally have an excuse to be smug in your inferiority," Mimi snapped back.

He shrugged. "I take what I can get."

Count Bleck twirled his cape as he turned around and flounced over to the hole. It was clear he was enjoying every minute of this and was incredibly pleased with himself to be so much better than his subordinates.

He stopped in front of the hole, and then turned his back to that. "Now, watch closely," he said holding out his staff. "You may want to take notes; there'll be a test after this, won't there, Nastasia?"

"Yeah," she said. "Short answer questions."

"Very well. All you have to do is—"

And then, quite suddenly, Count Bleck was sucked into the hole as well.

Nastasia jumped so suddenly her glasses slipped off her face. "Oh, goodness!"

The minions, of course, panicked.

"Aah"
"It ate the count!"
"It's hunger can't be satisfied!"
"I don't wanna be next!"
"Let's go back to the desert!"
"Quick! Get the false moustaches!"

Nastasia lifted her glasses and let out a blinding glare of hypno-light. None of them were hypnotized by it, but she used it to freeze their minds for a split second in order to stop the hysteria.

"K," she said, "Are you ready to be calm?"

They nodded.

"Good," said Nastasia.

"I told you," said Mimi plainly.

"Yes, you did," said Nastasia.

O'Chunks thumped his chest. "It's claimed another victim, and I fer one ehn't lettin' it go no further! Now it's a matter o' warrior's honor, that it's gone an et up me fearless leader! A'm goin' after 'im!"

And O'Chunks threw himself headfirst into the hole.

"O'Chunks, don't—" Nastasia started after him and stopped.

"If O'Chunks is brave enough to face that thing alone, then by golly, Mimi is, too!" And Mimi dove in after him.

"To the bandwagon!" Mr. L pumped his fist and followed suit.

"HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR MINDS?" Nastasia hollered after them.

Apparently, the portal opened onto a strange prairie on a large island in the middle of the sea. There was an ocean breeze blowing from the south, a mountain range to the north, and tall grass all around. The Count himself was hunched over, head buried in his cape like an owl, when the Minions spotted him.

"Ah, Count, we've come ta rescue yeh!" O'Chunks said. "Loyal no matter what!"

"Even in a scary hole dimension!"

Count Bleck didn't move.

"Um, Count?" Mimi leaned in. "Yoo hoo? Count?"

"I'm going to look up," said Count Bleck very slowly and carefully. "I'm going to look up, and I'm going to realize that I slipped on the floor in the lab. And when I get up, I'm going to see that my loyal, competent minions have sealed the dimensional hole, have finished their essays, and are waiting for their next assignment. Yes, that's certainly what's happened here."

"Um… no," said Mr. L. "We're on a prarie."

"And I assume you know how to get us back. You did follow me here, after all."

"Um… no." Mr. L looked at the others, who shrugged.

"We fell," said Mimi. "The hole probably opened up in the sky." She looked up, but didn't see anything.

"A rope, then," said Count Bleck. "That's it. One of you tied a rope round your waist, anchored it to the wall in the lab, and _then_ dove in after me. That's what the plan was."

"Ah, that'd've been a good plan," said O'Chunks, embarrassed.

Count Bleck stood up quickly, as if he hadn't been doubled over at all. He brushed the grass off of his cape and straightened his monocle. "Very well," he said. "I should have known better, after all. If I haven't learned what to expect of you by now… but never mind."

"We're sorry," said Mimi. "We didn't mean to rush in without—"

"But," Count Bleck cut off coldly, "you did."

"Well, yeah."

"There's a village to the west," said Count Bleck. "Just over a few rocks, and we can meet the locals. Once we find out where we are, it should be easy to find our way back."

Then a mysterious voice spoke, from a tree in the landscape: "I think you'll find it quite difficult to leave this island, now that you've found yourself on it. Since this island has been formed, no one has ever been able to leave."

A large owl was perched in the tree watching them. Only after it spoke could it be seen; perhaps it wasn't even there to begin with? It looked at them, it's head cocked sideways, and it was hard to tell whether it was looking at them curiously or just being an owl.

Count Bleck hailed the owl. "Greetings, greeted Count Bleck. I am Count Bleck."

(It became evident to the minions present that now he did it on purpose.)

"We have come here from Dimension Bleck quite by accident and wish to return home. However, if you have any problems we can solve, we'd be happy to while we're here."

The owl ruffled its feathers. "You will never be able to leave," said the owl.

"You know this for a fact?"

"I am the guardian spirit of this island," the owl replied. "This island is only a dream."

Count Bleck glanced at his minions, who seemed baffled.

"Wow," said Mr. L. "Yeah, that's messed up. How can we be in someone's dream?"

"I'm guessing magic," said Mimi.

"Yeah, I'd also be guessin' that," said O'Chunks.

"I concur," said Count Bleck. "Magic."

The owl gave them a curious look, then spread it's wings and grabbed a breeze, flying off into the distance.

"We'll get home," said Count Bleck. "In fact, we'll probably be there before Timpani returns from her outing with Mario. That is," he added meaningfully, "if Nastasia has better planning than present company."

They headed off to the village Count Bleck spoke of, understanding nothing of dreams and the magic at work, but knowing that getting home was their quest.