Title: I'm too old for this &%$!
Rating: PG just to be on the save side.
Genre: Humor (unless you're a Webbie then it's probably character assassination)
Summary: What I'd love to hear Mac say when Clay comes knocking for the mission in South America. And yes there is a shipper moment.
Disclaimer: I don't own them they belong to DPB and CBS!
A/N: If you are a Webbie don't read this fic! I'm not much of a Clayton Webb fan and this is what I think Mac should say when he asks for help. This is my first attempt at writing from Harm or Mac's POV
Feedback: Sure! But I'm going into this with the attitude that flames keep me warm! So if you don't like don't bother
"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT????" I scream so loud that I think everyone in the bullpen must have heard me.
"I want you to go undercover with me as my pregnant wife." Clay responds so calmly you'd think we were discussing the weather.
"Why me and why as your pregnant wife?"
"Because you have combat training, you speak Farsi, and if you're pregnant no one will consider you to be dangerous" Webb responds in the incredibly annoying, logical tone of his.
" And there are no other combat trained, female Farsi speakers working anywhere in the United States Governments?"
"Not that I trust and the pregnancy would be the perfect cover."
"Here in lies our problem Clay. I don't think you realize that most of those self defense moves are designed to be done without a pregnant belly in the way. When things go wrong I don't want to have to stop to take off some stupid pregnancy suit before I can defend myself. You may be suicidal, but I'm not. I still have hopes of marriage and a family someday."
"Nothing going to go wrong." Clay looks hurt that I'd even suggest such a thing.
"Excuse me!" I laugh. "Nothing's going to go wrong? Yeah right where have you been lately? It's one of your missions Clay that means by definition EVERYTHING will go wrong. You've had so many things go wrong on so many missions it's a wonder you're still alive!"
"Now see here Mac."
"No, you see here. Clay I like you as a person. But as a CIA officer I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Your definition of "need to know" and what a person really needs to know to keep from getting killed on a mission are usually so far apart as to not even be in the same solar system." Not to mention that fact that I'm older now then when we first met and I'm getting to old to have to dig myself out of the holes I tend to find myself in when working with you. This mission is voluntary and I'm NOT repeat NOT volunteering. Find yourself another partner Clay."
With that I turn and walk out of my office and into the elevator leaving clay standing there with a stunned look on his face. I had to turn him down. I've got a date with a certain sailor. Thank god he doesn't speak Farsi.
--the end--
Rating: PG just to be on the save side.
Genre: Humor (unless you're a Webbie then it's probably character assassination)
Summary: What I'd love to hear Mac say when Clay comes knocking for the mission in South America. And yes there is a shipper moment.
Disclaimer: I don't own them they belong to DPB and CBS!
A/N: If you are a Webbie don't read this fic! I'm not much of a Clayton Webb fan and this is what I think Mac should say when he asks for help. This is my first attempt at writing from Harm or Mac's POV
Feedback: Sure! But I'm going into this with the attitude that flames keep me warm! So if you don't like don't bother
"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT????" I scream so loud that I think everyone in the bullpen must have heard me.
"I want you to go undercover with me as my pregnant wife." Clay responds so calmly you'd think we were discussing the weather.
"Why me and why as your pregnant wife?"
"Because you have combat training, you speak Farsi, and if you're pregnant no one will consider you to be dangerous" Webb responds in the incredibly annoying, logical tone of his.
" And there are no other combat trained, female Farsi speakers working anywhere in the United States Governments?"
"Not that I trust and the pregnancy would be the perfect cover."
"Here in lies our problem Clay. I don't think you realize that most of those self defense moves are designed to be done without a pregnant belly in the way. When things go wrong I don't want to have to stop to take off some stupid pregnancy suit before I can defend myself. You may be suicidal, but I'm not. I still have hopes of marriage and a family someday."
"Nothing going to go wrong." Clay looks hurt that I'd even suggest such a thing.
"Excuse me!" I laugh. "Nothing's going to go wrong? Yeah right where have you been lately? It's one of your missions Clay that means by definition EVERYTHING will go wrong. You've had so many things go wrong on so many missions it's a wonder you're still alive!"
"Now see here Mac."
"No, you see here. Clay I like you as a person. But as a CIA officer I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Your definition of "need to know" and what a person really needs to know to keep from getting killed on a mission are usually so far apart as to not even be in the same solar system." Not to mention that fact that I'm older now then when we first met and I'm getting to old to have to dig myself out of the holes I tend to find myself in when working with you. This mission is voluntary and I'm NOT repeat NOT volunteering. Find yourself another partner Clay."
With that I turn and walk out of my office and into the elevator leaving clay standing there with a stunned look on his face. I had to turn him down. I've got a date with a certain sailor. Thank god he doesn't speak Farsi.
--the end--