Based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Red-Headed League
4,876 Words
Written for the Dreamwidth KakaSaku Adaptation Contest
Rating: T (for suggestive situations – mild, really)
The Spandex League
It was not unheard of for Hatake Kakashi to have more than one thing on his mind at a time. The demands of the Sharingen meant his next moves must be planned ahead even as his famed trait was copying yet another jutsu in the midst of battle. This day he was idly thinking about designing a new lightning-based offensive jutsu while reading about Jiraiya's heroine in a rare direct-to-movie novel.
The shadow that fell across his open book cut short his musings.
"I heard you coming from a mile away, Gai," Kakashi said.
"Ah, of course, you did, my eternal rival," Gai said. After a moment, he sat down next to Kakashi.
He frowned. Gai looking for him wasn't out of the ordinary. Gai failing to issue a challenge was a landmark event. He really shouldn't jinx his luck, Kakashi thought. Wincing, he asked, "Is everything all right?"
Gai stared at the blooming trees, at the grass, at a couple of kids flying a kite, then up at the sky. Finally, he turned to Kakashi with a puzzled frown on his face. "I pride myself in being able to pass on the knowledge I obtained through hard work and the Will of Fire to my students!" he began.
Several moments of silence passed. Kakashi decided Gai wanted some encouragement, so he said, "And?"
"My students are the hardest working ninja in Konoha. Their heart and endurance know no bounds!" Tears began flowing from Gai's face, splattering Kakashi's arm.
Kakashi hoped Gai would get to the point soon so he wouldn't have to go home and change his uniform. Gai could drench his uniform and those of three ninjas standing next to him when he got going.
"True, all true," Kakashi said, awkwardly patting Gai's arm.
"You are too kind, that's why you are my eternal rival!" Gai bawled harder.
Kakashi went back to reading his book, and Gai eventually calmed down. "With all the training I've given them, my heart and soul, and their hard work, how could one be fired from a mission?"
That got Kakashi's attention. "Hn?" he said. "Tsunade did that?"
Gai sighed. "No, Princess Tsunade didn't want it to happen. The client - The Spandex League - fired Lee from the job."
"The Spandex League?" Kakashi asked, his eye widening. "What was he – "
"Kakashi-sensei! Gai-sensei! Did you hear about Lee?" Naruto came hurtling down the street closely followed by Sakura.
"Baka! Don't be so insensitive!" Sakura punched Naruto in the arm.
"Ow, Sakura, I was greeting Gai-sensei, of course he already knows, and asking Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whined.
"Despite the fact that you have now informed most of Konoha that something's going on and that Gai is here with me, what did you have to say?" Kakashi asked Naruto.
Sakura answered for Naruto, who was rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "Something funny is going on. Lee didn't do anything wrong and he's been fired from an A-rank mission for making mistakes in copying recipes!"
Sakura and Kakashi looked at each other, both wondering when copying recipes became an A-ranked mission.
A small dust storm rose in the distance, turning into the slight green-clad figure of Rock Lee as it got closer to the group.
"Lee!" Kakashi called. "Come tell us what happened."
"I must train to overcome this minor setback!" Lee's voice came as he flashed by them. "The Will of Fire never quits!"
"Ah, the Eternal Springtime of Youth schools us older shinobi yet again!" Maito Gai's face lit up with his signature grin as he struck his Nice Guy Pose. "Kakashi, I will talk to you later. Those who aren't willing to keep learning will fall behind. Now I must learn from my student!" Green spandex and dust faded quickly into the distance.
Naruto shook his head. "Poor Lee. He had an easy, high paying mission and they sacked him after two weeks without explanation."
"Of course, he's inconsolable," Kakashi said.
"Yeah," Sakura said. "And it was even a really interesting mission – he got to see the inside of the Cat Lady's house!"
Kakashi's ears pricked up at that. "Sakura, you came from the Tower; was Tsunade still at her office?"
Sakura frowned. "Yes, that's where we came from, but how did you know?"
Kakashi smiled thinly. "Besides the fact that I could hear Naruto when he began yelling down by Ichiraku Ramen outside of Hokage Tower, you both have brown mud on your sandals. It's been dry, but Ayame-san waters her flower garden outside her shop every morning. Someone left the water on overnight, making the entrance in front of their shop very muddy."
Sakura and Naruto looked at each other. Naruto said, "Well, okay, sensei, but what about the brown mud? We have dirt all over Konoha, how can you tell that's where the dirt comes from?"
Kakashi sighed. "Sakura, you should have picked up on this one, as much as we've talked about it. Besides, it's extremely simple."
Sakura thought about it a moment. There was something about what he said about the brown mud.
"Oh! That's the only place in town that has different colored mud because she uses a fertilized cow manure to mix in, and it turns our red clay into brown dirt," she answered. "The only other place here that has brown dirt like that is Training Ground 3 – I know because that's where Shishou began to teach me earth moving technique because it was the softest earth to move. Only after I got better at it did I move to Training Ground 2 with all those rocks."
Kakashi looked at her approvingly. "That's my girl," he said with a smile.
Those words of approval sang through Sakura's body, making her flush slightly and throwing everything about Kakashi into sharp relief. She marveled at his wit, sure knowledge, and his wild silver hair that punctuated everything he did with an untamed animism.
Naruto looked confused. "I'm sorry, you mentioned ramen, and I can't think of anything else. I'm going to go get something to eat. Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, you want to come?"
Kakashi was fascinated by the variety of green in the kaleidoscope of Sakura's eyes. There was something in her open, frank gaze that challenged him to find out what made her tick. Despite the juxtaposition of that disturbing realization with the student memory of her, he told himself he would privately explore this new mystery of an older, more mature, lovely and very capable kunoichi, for research purposes, of course. Mentally yanking his mind from those disastrous thoughts, he joined Sakura's discussion with Naruto, though his brain stubbornly refused to return to its formerly safe student vision.
It took awhile to convince Naruto they weren't hungry. After waving him off, Sakura looked up at Kakashi. "I'm really worried about Lee," Sakura began.
Kakashi began walking toward Hokage Tower. "I think I know where to start to get some answers," he said.