A little video popped up on my feed today about a particular vest that will be making an appearance in an upcoming AOS episode. Of course, this vest reminded me of our favorite archer and my mind spun this little diddy into existence. You can see the video clip on my FB page (under this author name) or find it on the Tube of You
Murder Vest
Coulson walked into the debriefing room with his latest box of toys. With a huff, he lifted the old Tupperware container (someone had spray painted in black some years ago in an effort to make it look less like a Wal-Mart purchase) and set it in the center ring of the latest recruits. In the corner, Natasha Romanov, newly acquired by SHIELD, leaned slightly forward to stare inside.
"Now, I know most of you haven't been with us long, but I want all of you to be familiar with the latest technology in our arsenal. SHIELD is always changing. It is your responsibility to keep abreast of all the improvements and let us know if alterations must be made." Coulson upturned the Tupperware, letting his new toys spill across the round table with a flair for showmanship. Sixteen pairs of bright-eyed faces drew closer to root through the new toys. Natasha, imperceptibly, drew closer.
"That," Coulson said, pointing to a watch Agent Sims lifted, "Is a short range radio frequency jammer. Powerful enough to drop Ironman out of the sky for thirty-five seconds. It can even disrupt the guidance systems of a missile if used with care."
Agent Sims, looking at the device with a new found respect, set it down again. She didn't notice Natasha snake her hand forward and pocket the item.
"This," Coulson lifted a robust looking assault rifle. "I honestly don't even know what this does. So we'll skip it for now." Next, he lifted a vest. "This baby is one of our latest and greatest. Infused with Nano thermites, these miniscule explosives are controlled by a remote trigger," he lifted the device, "Specifically designed for operatives going into the field with a high risk of capture, this vest is able to be detonated, eliminating the wearer with minimal damage to surrounding structures."
The agents reflexively moved away from the table.
"So, it's a murder vest?" Agent Towns said, folding his arms.
Coulson shrugged. "Something like that."
"Who the Hell would be stupid enough to wear that thing?" Agent Sims demanded, looking around her for support. Others nodded in agreement.
The door behind Coulson propped open and a flurry of movement and words rushed in all at once. Agent Barton, SHIELD's elite, a guy who could eliminate a target even if he was standing three buildings away, hanging upside down, with his back turned, and using nothing but a bow and arrow, flew into the room. Instantly, he started gathering up some of the loose objects Coulson had dumped on the table. A box of arrow heads. A vial of something orange and glowing. A switch.
"Sorry, boss, got a call. Natasha, we're up. Can I have my stuff back?" Clint asked, filling his cargo pants.
Coulson gave him a disapproving look. "You know, you're ruining my show-and-tell."
"Raid Stark's closet. He's always got weird crap in there to play with," Clint replied. He grabbed the murder vest, shrugged it on, zipped it closed, and headed out the door again.
The pale faces of the new recruits turned as one to Natasha. She said nothing, only slipped to her feet, straightened her shirt, and followed Clint out the door.
"Natasha?" Coulson called.
She leaned back in and he handed her the remote to the murder vest. She smiled awkwardly, shook it with familiarity in the air as if to say "oh, yeah, can't forget that!" and off she popped.
Coulson turned back to the new recruits. "So, who wants to learn bomb making?"
hope you enjoyed this brief one-shot! I know its been a while since I hung out with our boy:)
Please review:)
