Disclaimer: I don't own The OC or its characters, etc.
Damn Rebecca. Damn Sandy. Love Kirsten. This idea came into my head when I saw the preview for The Rainy Day Women. How come fanfic ideas come so easily when you have exams to study for? It's not as polished as I would like it, but I have studying to do this afternoon. Whoever said being a student was fun!
I hope you like it!
When The Rain FallsThey drove in silence. The rain was pounding hard on the roof of the car and the windscreen wipers were working hard to clear the view. The radio was playing softly in the background.
Sandy glanced over to Rebecca. Her head was leaning against the window and her eyes were glazed, deep in thought. Thinking about what had happened in the hotel room?
Sandy's eyes went back to the road. He hadn't experienced rain like this in years; it just didn't happen in Orange County. He was conscious that he wasn't used to driving in these conditions and it put him on edge. They had picked a bad night to drive Rebecca across the border. Sandy wished he was locked safely in his house. He thought of his family – Kirsten, Seth and Ryan – hoping that they were all safe inside.
He thought about Kirsten and sighed. Things had changed between them: he knew it; she knew it. They were supposed to be strong and resilient together, but he could feel them falling apart. He had spent the past few weeks feeling torn between his old life and his current life, feeling pressured to make a choice.
A choice he didn't want to make.
The radio started to crackle. The noise was irritating and Sandy reached down to adjust the tuning.
He didn't see the car in front of him until it was too late.
"Sandy!" Rebecca screamed.
Sandy's head jerked up and he saw the white Range Rover. He didn't have time to slam on the brakes; he could only swerve. The car skidded across a grass verge and down into a ditch. Sandy helplessly pressed down on the brake peddle to no avail. He couldn't stop what he knew was going to happen.
The BMW ploughed straight into a tree. The bonnet concertinaed, crushed by the speed at which it hit the tree. Sandy felt a searing pain shoot through his legs and he passed out. Rebecca's head slammed into the dashboard, knocking her unconscious. A bellow of smoke clouded the sky. The two passengers lay, silent, the only noise a hissing sound coming from the engine.
>>>>>
Rebecca was the first to come round. She opened her eyes against the pounding in her head. Her hand reached up to her forehead and she found her fingers covered in blood. She sat up and winced at the pain that coursed up her spine.
"Shit," she swore under her breath.
She looked across at Sandy. His eyes were closed and his face was pale, except for a line of red that trickled from a cut on his cheek. His head rested against the cracked window. Her eyes swept over him, pausing at his abdomen. A trace of blood was already starting to soak through his shirt. The car seat had jerked forwards and his legs were trapped.
"Sandy?" she questioned.
Nothing.
She could hear a noise outside. A voice, yelling if they were ok, promising they would call for help. Rebecca panicked. Help meant the police; and the police meant a lifetime in jail. She glanced back towards Sandy, chewing her lip thoughtfully.
Slowly, she twisted in her seat and leant across to him. She smoothed his thick black hair away from his face and left a kiss on his temple.
"I'm sorry," was all she said.
Struggling with the door, Rebecca forced it open and swung her legs out of car. She didn't look back as ran.
>>>>>
Kirsten was sat at the island, nursing a hot coffee in her hands. She could feel herself starting to sober up after spending the evening drinking with Julie.
Julie Cooper. This is what life had come to: her husband was out, breaking the law to help his ex-girlfriend, while Kirsten was enjoying – yes, actually enjoying – an evening with Julie. Her stepmom.
Seth and Ryan came into the kitchen, both quiet. Silently, they both grabbed drinks from the refrigerator and sat down at the kitchen table. Kirsten was too lost in her own thoughts to ask if they were ok. They all sat, selfishly pre-occupied with their own troubles to worry about anyone else's.
It was only when the doorbell rang that they acknowledged each other. Kirsten sighed, not in the mood for visitors. She looked towards Seth and Ryan, her eyes pleading.
Ryan sensed her frustration. "I'll get it."
Ryan returned a few moments later followed by two policemen.
"Look, I already told you, I don't know where Rebecca Bloom is," Kirsten sighed irritably, grabbing her coffee mug and standing up from the stool where she was sat.
"Mrs Cohen, this isn't about Rebecca Bloom. I'm afraid your husband has been involved in a car accident," one of the policemen said. His face told her it was serious, his voice grave.
The mug fell from Kirsten's hand and smashed into pieces on the floor. Seth was suddenly by her side, his hand grabbing her arm to prevent her from falling as her knees buckled underneath her.
"Accident?" Kirsten asked in a whisper.
"Yes, ma'am. Would you like to follow us?" the same man spoke.
Kirsten could only nod. Flanked by Ryan and Seth, they followed the policemen outside. Kirsten paused at the car as she realised that there was no way she could drive after the amount of whisky she had drunk. She turned to see Ryan stood next to her, reading her mind. She handed the keys to him and moved around the car to sit in the passenger seat. Seth sat quietly in the back. They drove in silence. There was nothing to say.
>>>>>
Sandy was drifting in and out of consciousness. Someone had opened the door and strangers' faces appeared next to him, offering words of comfort. His legs hurt, his stomach hurt. He couldn't move.
It hadn't taken him long to realise that he was alone in the car. Rebecca? His first thought had been that she was badly injured and had been rushed to hospital; his second that the police had arrested her. Eventually, he realised that she had simply disappeared. Again.
The police had arrived: an old friend of Sandy's. He regaled stories of old times, when Sandy had been a public defender, and they had shared a joke late at night. Sandy responded when he needed to, but it hurt to talk or laugh.
He closed his eyes, feeling tired. Sleeping was the only way he could get rid of the pain, but every time he closed his eyes, someone would start talking to him again, coaxing him to stay awake.
"Sandy?"
It was his friend. Sandy groaned; he didn't want to open his eyes.
"Sandy, your wife is here."
>>>>>
Ryan pulled over, amongst a scatter of police cars and ambulances. The embankment was taped off with police tape. As they got out of the car, they were met with sympathetic glances. Kirsten shivered.
Kirsten recognised the policeman that came over to talk to them. A friend of Sandy's maybe?
"Mrs Cohen?"
Kirsten nodded. The policeman gestured for her to follow. She glanced behind her at Seth and Ryan, who were stood hesitantly behind her.
"Stay here," she ordered.
Seth nodded, his puppy dog eyes scared.
Kirsten followed the policeman down the embankment. Her stomach turned when she saw the car, crushed against the tree. She paused, feeling nauseas.
"Mrs Cohen?" the policeman urged her. Kirsten nodded and carried on towards the car.
The first thing she saw was the blood, soaked through his shirt. His face was pale – so pale – and she could see the pain etched across his face. She gasped, glancing back up the hill towards where the boys were stood and grateful that she hadn't begged them to come with her. She watched as the policeman spoke quietly to Sandy before standing back to let her get closer.
Kirsten crouched next to him, hesitating, before taking Sandy's hand in her left hand. He was cold. She reached her right hand up to his face.
"Sandy?"
He moaned softly and his eyes flickered as they attempted to open. "Kirsten?"
"I'm here," Kirsten replied softly. "It's ok. You're going to be ok."
Sandy finally opened his eyes. Just seeing her comforted him more than she knew. "I'm sorry I totalled the car."
Kirsten let out a short laugh. "It's ok."
Sandy could see the fear in her eyes. This was it, he knew it. "I love you. I'm sorry."
Kirsten shook her head. "No. No, don't you do this, Sandy. Don't you say goodbye to me."
"Tell the boys I love them too. I'm sorry," he repeated softly.
"No. I don't forgive you," Kirsten said, fighting back the tears. "You've got a lot of making up to do, Sandy. You still owe me a weekend at the Montage, you remember? You promised me we'd go for our anniversary. You promised."
Sandy smiled lazily. "I knew you still hadn't forgiven me for forgetting."
Kirsten couldn't help but smile. "So now you admit you forgot?"
Sandy would have shrugged playfully if he could. Instead, he smiled. "I do love you."
"I love you too," Kirsten said, nodding.
Sandy's policeman friend came over to them once again. "Sandy? They're ready to cut the car now."
Sandy nodded. Kirsten stood up and bent down, kissing his lips softly. "You promised."
The policeman put his arm around Kirsten's waist and pulled her away from the car. He guided her back up the hill. Kirsten shuddered when she saw the piece of equipment that they were going to use to get Sandy out of the car. She went to meet Seth and Ryan, who were still stood patiently by the car. She reached for their hands as they watched the machine cut away at the metal of the car. Over the roar of the machine, Kirsten was sure she could hear Sandy scream.
>>>>>
Sandy could remember being eight years old when his father had bought him a baseball bat and glove. Every day for the next week, he had dragged his father to the park to play with him. When he was nine, his father had left without saying goodbye. He'd found someone else, with her own family, and all of a sudden he didn't want his own any more.
Sandy could remember the first time he had held Seth in his arms. This little bundle, with his mother's eyes and his father's thick dark hair. He had vowed never to leave him, never to abandon him.
Sandy could remember the first time he had seen Ryan, dragging his feet and hanging his head as he had walked into the room. Sandy had felt immediately drawn to him. He'd offered him a home and a family and the life that he deserved, and Sandy had promised that he would never leave him on his own again.
Sandy had made promises that he wanted to keep. Now, here he was, lost in unconsciousness, scared that he might not get the chance to keep them.
He willed his eyes open and was immediately blinded by a light. He groaned and closed them again. Refusing to give in, he opened them again, slowly this time. He was met with a young nurse who was towering over him.
"Hey there," she greeted him. "Welcome back. You're in the hospital."
The nurse fussed around him, checking the monitors that beeped next to him. The sound pierced his ears.
"How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?" she asked.
He ached; his whole body hurt. His legs felt stiff and a piercing pain shot across his belly. Sandy didn't think that the nurse had anything that could take away the pain he was feeling, but he knew one person who would make him feel better.
"Kirsten," he murmured.
"Excuse me?"
"My wife. I want my wife."
>>>>>
Kirsten sat in the waiting room, Seth on one side and Ryan on the other. They had watched as the car was dismantled before their eyes and Sandy's lifeless body was carefully pulled out. Ryan had driven them behind the ambulance. Kirsten didn't know how he had done it; her hands hadn't stopped shaking.
They sat in silence. Seth's eyes were red from crying in the back seat of the car on their way to the hospital, and he turned away to hide them.
It was nearly 4am when a young nurse approached them.
"Mrs Cohen?"
They all stood up immediately. "Yes. Sandy, is he ok?"
The girl smiled. "He's doing alright. He's asking for you."
Kirsten, Seth and Ryan followed the nurse down the corridor.
"The doctor will come and speak to you," the nurse explained as they walked. "Your husband has a broken leg and some cracked ribs, but apart from that he was lucky."
"But there was so much blood?" Kirsten questioned. If it was bad, she wanted to know.
"I know it must have looked scary, but the cut to his stomach was quite superficial. He didn't do any serious damage inside," the nurse answered.
She stopped them outside a closed door and gestured for them to go in. "I'll find the doctor for you."
Kirsten nodded her thanks, before cautiously opening the door. She saw Sandy lying on the bed and walked slowly to one side. His face was bruised and there were several tubes coming from his arms. She bent down and gently placed a kiss on his forehead.
Sandy was fighting off sleep, knowing that Kirsten was coming to see him. He was losing the battle, until he felt a familiar hand in his, the familiar feeling of a soft pair of lips on his face and the familiar smell of perfume.
"Kirsten?"
"Hey baby," Kirsten said softly.
"How am I doing?" Sandy asked.
"The nurse said you were lucky. A broken leg and some broken ribs," Kirsten answered.
"That's it? I don't want to know how much it would hurt if it was any worse," Sandy joked.
Kirsten frowned. "Do you want me to get the doctor? Get you something to help with the pain?"
Sandy smiled. "No. I just want you here."
Kirsten ran her hand through his hair. "I'm not going anywhere, baby."
Kirsten looked up at Seth and Ryan, who were hovering at the end of the bed. She nodded her head towards the top of the bed and they obediently followed.
"Dad?" Seth's voice was hoarse.
"Hey, son," Sandy said, slowly moving his head towards the voice. "Sons."
From behind Seth, Ryan smiled. "I'm glad you're ok."
Sandy nodded and smiled. "Me too."
He felt the fatigue try and take over again and his eyes fought against the urge to close. Kirsten noticed and started to usher the boys out of the room.
"Why don't you boys go home and get some rest? I'll call Dr Kim and tell her you won't be in school today. Get some sleep and come back later, ok? Bring some things for your dad," Kirsten said.
Seth hesitated. He leant down to embrace his father. "I love you, dad."
"I love you too," Sandy said, smiling at his son's sentimentality. It didn't show itself very often. "Both of you."
Ryan put a firm hand on Seth's shoulder and steered him away from the bed. He wanted to tell Sandy that he loved him back, but he couldn't find the words. He had been strong up until now, but seeing Sandy lying in the hospital bed freaked him out and drove him into silence. Sandy watched as they left, before turning his eyes back to his wife.
"You're staying?" he asked, his voice hopeful.
"Yeah. You should try and get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," Kirsten promised.
Sandy closed his eyes and let sleep take over his body for a while, always aware of his wife's presence next to him.
>>>>>
Sandy was roused by someone standing next to the bed. He opened his eyes to find the same nurse from earlier writing on his chart. He curiously wondered what she was writing. The nurse noticed him peering up at her.
"Morning," she said, cheerily.
"What time is it?" Sandy enquired.
"A little after nine. How are you feeling?"
"Sore; achy," Sandy answered.
The nurse nodded. "Yeah, you will for a while. I can talk to the doctor if you want? Get him to increase your pain medication. It might make you a bit drowsy but it'll take the edge away."
Sandy nodded. "Thanks…Sophie," he read from her name badge. "My mother's name is Sophie."
Sophie laughed. "Well then, you'll have no excuse for forgetting my name."
Sandy's eyes wandered around the room, searching for his wife. He found a mass of blonde hair scattered across the end of the bed, near his knees, where Kirsten had fallen asleep next to him. Her hand was still firmly placed in his.
"Ok, Mr Cohen, I need to take your blood pressure so I'm going to sit you up, ok?" Sophie instructed.
Sandy nodded. "You can call me Sandy, you know."
"Ok, Sandy," Sophie smiled. "Let's do this as gently as possible."
Sophie reached behind him and lifted the top of the bed frame, raising Sandy to a sitting position. Sandy winced as pain shot through the cut on his stomach. His hand lost Kirsten's as he shifted his body weight to a more comfortable position.
"Ok?" Sophie questioned.
"Yeah, I think so," Sandy said.
Sophie wrapped a black band around his arm and Sandy felt it tighten, before slowly deflating.
"So, how long have you been a nurse?" Sandy asked.
"A couple of years, since I was 18," Sophie answered.
"Is this what you always wanted to do?"
"No. I plan on becoming a doctor one day. I've been nursing to raise some money for medical school," Sophie said.
Sandy watched her as she took his blood pressure. He liked her, there was something individual about her. "Did you grow up here?"
"No, I grew up in Chicago. I moved here when I was 18," Sophie answered, before changing the subject. "Your blood pressure is good, 130 over 80. Now I need to change your dressing, ok? Can you lift your gown for me."
Sandy looked horrified, wary that he might be exposed under his gown. Sophie saw his face and laughed.
"Don't worry, you're well covered down there."
Embarrassed, Sandy lifted his gown and grimaced at the sight of the puss and blood that had seeped through the dressing. He looked away as Sophie tore the dressing off. A bracelet on her wrist caught his attention.
"Nice shells," he commented.
"Thanks. I collected them from a little cove I found while I was out surfing," Sophie answered, working deftly at cleaning his wound.
"You surf?"
"Yep, when I can. It's why I moved here, I always wanted to live by the ocean."
"You're not Jewish by any chance, are you?" Sandy asked.
"Uh, no, sorry," Sophie laughed.
"Never mind, mixed-faith relationships work," Sandy said, glancing down at his sleeping wife. "How do you feel about younger men? I have two great sons!"
Sophie laughed again. Next to Sandy, Kirsten began to stir.
"I'll have to get back to you on that one! There, all done."
She pulled his gown back over his stomach as Kirsten sat up, stretching her arms over her head.
"Hey," she said softly to Sandy. She smiled up at the nurse. "How's he doing?"
"Physically, he's doing well. I think maybe the knock to his head was more serious than we first thought!"
Sandy laughed and Kirsten looked confused. "She's joking, I'm fine."
Sophie nodded in agreement. "Mrs Cohen, can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink? Coffee, maybe?"
"Do I look that bad?" Kirsten asked dryly, laughing at the same time. "No, thanks, I'm ok."
"Ok, I've got to go check on my next victim. I'll get the doctor to come and see you about the pain medication. And if you need anything just hit the green button."
"Thank you, Sophie," Sandy said.
Sophie nodded and left them alone. Kirsten stood up and stretched again, before sitting on the bed, facing Sandy.
"How are you feeling really?" Kirsten asked, worried that he was glossing over how much pain he was really in.
Sandy smiled at her concern. "I'm a little sore, but I'm ok, really."
He reached his hand up to her face. Kirsten moved it away and held it between her hands on her lap.
"Sandy…" she hesitated, before continuing, "Sandy, was Rebecca in the car with you when you crashed?"
She hated to bring up Rebecca's name, but she needed to know. Sandy nodded slowly and he saw the anger flare up in Kirsten's eyes. He didn't say anything, waiting for her reaction. Kirsten looked down at her lap and ran her fingers over his hand.
When Kirsten was quiet for a while, Sandy broke the silence.
"Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
Kirsten looked up at him, her eyes sad. "I don't know," she said truthfully.
"I am sorry," Sandy said.
"I know. I believe you," Kirsten said, sighing. "I want to. I want to forgive you, Sandy, but you hurt me. You lied to me. You put her before me, before our family. Don't you understand how that made me feel?"
"I thought I had to help her; I thought I owed it to her father. I never wanted this," Sandy said.
"Do you know how scared I was last night?" Kirsten asked. Sandy didn't have an answer and he didn't speak.
"I thought you were going to die," Kirsten said, her voice already starting to crack. "Ever since Rebecca…ever since she turned up, I feel like I've been losing you. I feel like she's shown you everything that's wrong about us, every reason that people said that we wouldn't work. And it hurt. But last night I thought I was going to lose your forever."
Kirsten couldn't stop the tears from falling now. Sandy wanted to reach up and wipe them away, but he stopped himself.
"I told myself that I would let you go; I wouldn't stop you from choosing her as long as you were ok," Kirsten said.
"I would never do that, I would never leave you," Sandy said, his own tears starting to fall now.
"I don't want you to," Kirsten said, trying to smile between her tears. "I don't want you to leave me. I love you and I won't let you go. And I will forgive you, I just need time."
Sandy nodded, pulling her into his arms. Kirsten fell against his chest, crying into his shoulder.
"I love you, Kirsten," Sandy whispered into her hair.
>>>>>
Sandy was dreaming. He was on a beach in Aruba, teaching Ryan how to surf in the ocean. Seth was nearby, floating on his own surfboard, offering witty quips every now and again. He could see Kirsten's body stretched out under the sun on the sand. This was heaven to Sandy and he wanted to stay asleep for as long as possible. But someone was coaxing him out of his dream.
"Sandy?" a female voice spoke to him.
He recognised the voice, but he couldn't place it. It definitely wasn't his wife and it didn't sound like the nurse. He frowned as he slowly woke up.
"Hmph."
"Sandy," the voice urged him to wake again.
Sandy's eyes fluttered open.
"Rebecca?"
"Hey."
Rebecca smiled gently at him and she reached her hand up to his face. Sandy moved away from his touch. Rebecca frowned.
"Sandy…"
"What are you doing here?" his voice was hard.
"I came to see you. I wanted to make sure you were ok," Rebecca said, taken aback by his coldness.
"I don't think you should be here," Sandy said, turning his face away from her.
"Sandy, please. I came to explain. I'm sorry I ran but I panicked, the police were coming and I…"
"It's always about you, isn't it Rebecca?" Sandy cut her off. "It didn't bother you that I could have died in that car, as long as you were ok."
"Sandy, it wasn't like that," Rebecca argued.
"Get out," Sandy ordered. "Kirsten's on her way here and I don't want her to see you."
"Please, Sandy," Rebecca begged. "I thought…"
"You thought what? That you could run away for 25 years, then turn up and pick up where we left things? It doesn't work like that. I moved on. I have a wife and a family, and I'm not going to let you ruin that for me. You being here has already caused enough trouble."
"But I love you," Rebecca said, reaching out to Sandy again. He brushed her away.
"No, you don't. That's what I've realised. You never did, otherwise you never would have left," Sandy said.
"That's not true, you know that. I had no choice," Rebecca said.
"There's always a choice. You could have stayed and we could have faced things together, but you chose to run. I wasn't enough to keep you in Berkeley and I wasn't enough to stop you from leaving me in the car last night," Sandy said. "But you know what? It's ok, because I can make a choice too. If you're asking me to choose between you and Kirsten, I will choose Kirsten every time. Because she never would have left me. I've been arse to her for the past few weeks and she still thinks I'm worth fighting for, she's still not willing to give up on me. I love her more than anything and I won't let you come between us any more."
Sandy's words stung. Rebecca took a step back from the bed, defeated.
"I'm sorry," she said, turning around and running out of the room.
Sandy leaned back on the bed, exhausted. He had thought that he was still in love with Rebecca, but he had been in love with a memory. Last night Rebecca had shattered that memory, and Kirsten had picked up the pieces.
>>>>>
"I spoke to Dr Kim, she's going to send your school work home via Marissa," Kirsten said, holding the door open for Seth and Ryan to follow her inside the hospital wing where Sandy was.
"God, that woman is harsh. My dad nearly dies and she's still making us do our math homework?" Seth said.
Kirsten laughed. Sandy had eventually drifted back to sleep, but before he did he had ordered her to go home and rest. Kirsten had refused at first, but her body ached from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position and she longed for a hot shower. When she had arrived home, she had found Seth and Ryan asleep on the sofa in the family room. Obviously too wired to sleep when they got back, they had amused themselves with computer games until fatigue had taken over. By the time she had showered and changed her clothes, Ryan had cooked breakfast for the three of them and Seth was on the telephone to the hospital, checking on his father. They had eaten quickly, all desperate to get back to the hospital.
It was nearly 2pm. Walking down the corridor towards Sandy's room, they saw the nurse that had been looking after Sandy. Sophie noticed how much more relaxed and talkative they were now and greeted them with a smile.
As they reached Sandy's room, Kirsten reached out her hand to open the door, but found the doorknob turning before she got there. The door opened and Kirsten was met face-to-face with Rebecca. Rebecca looked like a deer caught in headlights.
A silent tension fell over them.
"Seth, take these things through to your dad," Kirsten said, never once taking her eyes off of Rebecca.
Seth looked unsure at Ryan, who shrugged. "Uh, Mom…"
"Now, Seth," Kirsten ordered.
Seth didn't argue any more. He took the bag from Kirsten and went into Sandy's room. Ryan followed, but paused at the door.
"Go on, Ryan. I'll be in there in a minute," Kirsten said. Her voice was calm but her tone was angry.
Ryan obeyed. Once inside, he shot Sandy a look. Sandy gestured silently to Ryan to leave the door ajar.
In the hallway, Kirsten stood staring at Rebecca. She could feel anger rising up inside of her and she took a deep breath to compose herself, before she started.
"You left him. He could have died, and you left him," Kirsten stated.
"I'm sorry…" Rebecca started, but Kirsten cut her off.
"I don't care. I don't care if you're sorry; I don't care if you wish you could change things; I don't care about you. The only things I care about are my husband, my children and my family. And I will not let you drag them into your mess any more."
Rebecca hung her head, too ashamed to meet Kirsten's eye.
"If it was up to me, I'd call the police. But for some reason that I can't figure out, Sandy wouldn't want that. So I want you to go. I want you to go away…disappear again…and I don't want you to come back. If you try and contact my husband again, I will make sure the police know exactly where you are."
Kirsten didn't falter. Her eyes remained focused on Rebecca as she spoke. Rebecca knew there was nothing that she could say that Kirsten wanted to hear.
Her father was dead. Sandy didn't want her. There was nothing to hang around in Newport for now, anyway. She left without speaking, shuffling down the corridor as quickly as possible.
Kirsten let out the deep breath that she realised she had been holding. She looked down at her hands and realised they were shaking. She curled them into a fist.
It was only then that she noticed that the door to Sandy's room was open. She looked through the gap and saw Sandy looking at her, a tear running down his cheek. She stared into those deep blue eyes; the same eyes that she had stared into for the past 20 years.
Forgiveness would come eventually and everything would work out.
Kirsten would make it.