A/N This fanfic was inspired by a few songs, Watch Me Bleed, Star Crossed Lovers, and The Deep End by Scary Kids Scaring Kids. They all hit a chord in me and reminded me of Sakura's devotion to Sasuke. They're in their 30s in this story.
Summary: Will Sakura's devotion to an uninvolved Uchiha be the death of them both? Character death and suicide.
Disclaimer: I wish I could say Kishimoto and I are bosom buddies and he shares the rights with me, but we both know he doesn't even know I exist…
Sakura woke up alone again, her lover's side of the bed untouched. She sighed and ran a tired hand through her pastel pink hair. He did this so many times she had begun to not care; she had misery for company so at least she wasn't alone. He was only around when she slept, in her dreams she had the life she had prayed for, she knew it wasn't healthy to sleep so much, but it kept her partially sane, although lately she had felt like her mind was unwinding. It was getting harder and harder to remember things, where she put her keys, her genin students' names, little things. She kept telling herself it was just the stress of being pregnant and unable to tell Sasuke.
She stood and began popping her back, each vertebrae popping back into place, making a satisfying snap down her spine. An ANBU member popped onto her windowsill and held out a letter. Sakura sighed again and took it from him with a murmur of thanks. She opened it and read it, the Hokage wanted to see her. She blew air out through her nose and began wrapping bindings around her naked chest, she pulled on her jounin vest and black pants, tied her hair into an impromptu bun, slid into her shinobi sandals and jumped from her window, for a split second she thought about what it would feel like to fall, to not catch herself and let gravity have its way. She shook her head clear, she wasn't suicidal, that was just a thought from curiosity, she told herself.
She knocked on the Hokage's door before entering, she knew he would let her in even if he was busy, but her beloved Naruto was now the Hokage and deserved respect from everyone, even someone who had known him for the greater portion of his life. "I'm here." She announced smiling at her friend, she noticed Sasuke was off to the side, he looked up at her and smiled; it was little tokens of affection that made her stay with him. She knew it was hard for him to open up to people and the small smiles, the little brushes of his hand on her back, and other small shows of affection made up for his lack of presence, but after being together for ten years she had hoped he would have progressed to bigger displays of affection. She nodded at him, she then noticed Kiba and Neji were also in the room. Her mind linked all of them together, they were trying to track and catch someone.
"Ah, Sakura-chan, I'm guessing you know why I've called everyone here by the look on your face." Naruto smiled and placed his fingertips together. "Yes Hokage-sama, but who are we tracking that requires so much fire power?" She asked, he sighed, his age finally catching up to his face momentarily, he had bags under his eyes and worry lines where laugh lines should have been. As quickly as they appeared they disappeared, replaced by a look of determination, "We believe we have found out where Uchiha Madara has been hiding." Everyone's breath stopped, "This mission could kill any of you so please, go home, tell your loved ones you might not come back and pack. Meet at the city gates at sunrise." With that, everyone left.
Sakura's heart raced, she thought Madara had been killed, sure no one had found his body, but there had been signs. She cleared her head as she soared over rooftops, Sasuke would be coming home to pack, her breath hitched and she began running faster, she had to tell him. Would he be happy? Upset? She reached her windowsill and looked around their room, he had already packed and disappeared. She felt tears run down her cheeks as they spilled from her wide unbelieving eyes. She stepped into the room and collapsed onto their bed, her tears soaking her pillow.
She awoke later that night, a pair of red sharingan eyes watching her sleep from a corner. Her eyes were red and puffy and Sasuke felt his heart clench at the sight, he strode forward and kissed her passionately, trying to apologize through touch. Her sleep muddled mind couldn't remember what she had to tell him and quickly gave into his demanding mouth. He gently pushed her down onto the bed and kissed her throat, his hands snaked up her torso and began to play with her breasts, she moaned quietly. He was already naked and hard, she was naked as well, she had always slept in the nude. He began grinding into her hips, she opened her legs wider and allowed him entrance, he hissed at the heat and tightness, he had missed this, her body was perfect for him. He set a quick pace and continued to kiss and nibble her chest.
She faked her orgasm for him, she knew that's what he wanted but she couldn't bring herself to fully enjoy their passionate embrace, so as she clenched her vaginal walls and clung to him, making herself shudder, she tried to remember what she needed to tell him. He came during her pretend orgasm, he kissed her tenderly on the lips after his body had recovered and stood up. He cleaned the sticky liquid from her first, and then himself, he began to get dressed. "Sasuke, where are you going?" she asked, trying to see in the dark room, the moon was hidden by dark clouds that promised rain. "Shh." He whispered, he turned to look at her "Sleep my love." And with that she was knocked out by the sharingan.
The next morning the group stood at the gates and said their farewells to loved ones. Sakura had no loved ones except those of Team 7, her mother and father had died while she was away on a mission a few years back and she hadn't bothered to rekindle her friendship with anyone, she had Sasuke, which was all that mattered. After their goodbyes the small troupe took off into the forest just as it started to rain.
For twelve days they searched, Kiba and Akamaru kept losing the trail due to the rain, which hadn't stopped since they left Konoha. On the fifteenth day Neji told them he found a chakra signature, he led them through the underbrush, being as silent as the grave. Sakura's mind began to wander, Sasuke hadn't even so much as looked at her for the past two weeks and Kiba had been looking at them in confusion with his nose scrunched.
She felt a tickle in the earth next to her, she had an earth type chakra nature and it was good for sensing things in and on the ground, she stopped and drew back her fist, charging it with chakra and performing a seal simultaneously she slammed her fist into the earth. Her group jumped back, unaware of what was going on. She grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled, out of the ground popped a white Zetsu, in the process of pulling she had decapitated him, black blood oozed out of his severed head, a look of mild shock on his face. Suddenly hundreds were on them, Sakura tore through the group, her chakra scalpels and super strength blindly hitting anything that was within range. Sasuke used Amaterasu to wipe out a good chunk, Neji used Hakkeshō Kaiten, and Kiba and Akamaru used their Twin Fang attack to wipe out the rest.
When the dust cleared Madara and Zetsu stood side by side. "Hello Sasuke-kun, long time no see." Madara smirked, Sasuke growled in response, anger turning his vision red, he started to run towards Madara but Sakura intercepted and tackled him, knocking a good fifty feet or so and into a tree. She rushed at the other Uchiha, one thought racing through her mind: if I can beat him I will be worthy of Sasuke, our child will carry the mark of a true warrior. She raised her fist and slammed it into the ground while she was running, her strength carried her into the air, she collided into Madara and began to use taijustu, she dropped her weight seals and moved fast, almost as fast as Lee.
Madara laughed at the Kunoichi, "You can't beat me." He smirked, she growled and moved faster, he blocked all of her hits, without warning something sliced his arm, he felt blood trickle down, she smiled and soon both of her hands were encased in blue chakra, her chakra scalpels.
Madara growled and began to attack in retaliation, his Mangekyou trying to trap her in a genjutsu. "I'm a medic," she growled as she tried to land a hit on his dancing form, "My perfect chakra control keeps me from being trapped." She beamed when she landed a solid hit on his sternum, the beautiful sound of his bones breaking coupled with squelch of organs sliced open greeted her ears.
Sasuke knocked her out of the way as Amaterasu was unleashed by the older Uchiha, the flames caught Sasuke's vest which he tore off quickly. Sakura growled in anger and slipped past Sasuke, her goal still not finished. She raced towards Madara, her eyes closed, the flames couldn't affect her if she couldn't see them, she spread chakra strings out like a spider's web, seeing with it instead. Kiba and Neji had gone after Zetsu and Sasuke was chasing after her. She used an earth jutsu to sink into the ground and began moving towards Madara who was now distracted by Sasuke.
She felt Zetsu's body hit the ground, Kiba and Neji had beaten him and were now sitting in the trees, they knew they couldn't defeat the ancient Uchiha. She grabbed Madara's ankles and pulled him into the earth, Sasuke delivered a chidori to his head, only for it to pop and reveal itself as a bunshin. Sakura felt herself get pulled up by strong hands, she screamed as the hands broke her collarbone. Sasuke flinched at the sound, Madara noticed and smirked. "Is this the future Mrs. Uchiha?" he asked innocently as his hands moved down her arms to her hands, he then broke them as well. She screamed again. Sasuke's nostrils flared, his curse mark which hadn't activated in years slowly began to take over.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Chuckled the older man. His hand roamed across her belly and paused at just below her belly button, his eyes grew wide, "I'm surprised he let you come along with this in you." He whispered into her ear, Sakura moved her head away, tears racing down her dirt streaked face. "Oooh…he doesn't know? How delicious!" Madara laughed heartily.
Madara encased his hands in chakra and slowly dug them into the woman's body, she screamed in pain and anguish as she felt her insides get squeezed and torn. Her only thought revolving around her unborn baby, she was such an idiot, this baby meant more than Sasuke, why didn't she realize it sooner? She screamed again as she felt his hands wrap around her womb, she flared her chakra out through all of her pressure points, effectively paralyzing Madara and herself, she fell as his hands slipped out of her torso, Sasuke rushed forward and grabbed Madara's head, which he then tore off with one quick pull.
He fell to his knees beside her body, Neji rushed forward and released her pressure points, she coughed, Sasuke flinched as a thick glob of bloody flesh was expelled from her throat. She looked at him and smiled, her teeth stained with blood and bits of muscle from her crushed organs. The holes where Madara's hands had been oozed blood slowly but Sasuke felt that it was still too much, he felt tears prick his eyes. He hadn't cried in so long, he told himself he would never cry, not after the massacre, nothing could hurt him like that had. And now, his lover was lying in the grass and dirt bleeding to death, he couldn't help but cry. Weakly she lifted her hand and placed it on his, she tried to lift his hand, but couldn't so he lifted it for her, she moved it to abdomen and placed it just below her belly button. "This is…our baby S-sasuke." She wheezed, it brought forth another fit of coughing which brought up more of her insides. He let out a sob and gritted his teeth, "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, wanting to be angry with her but unable to with the placid look on her pale face. "You were never home." She answered simply.
Another sob wracked his form as he gently lifted her and pressed her chilled form against his. "I love you Sakura." He whispered, "I'm sorry I was never home…I was…I was looking for a wife…I need to be married into a clan since mine no longer exists." He clutched her body against his, shaking as he cried. Her arm wrapped around him slowly, as if she was half asleep, "It's okay Sasuke, I figured as much." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Why did you come?" he whimpered as her body dropped a few more degrees, "I…wan…ted…to prove…I was…worthy of…you." She mumbled, it was getting harder to breathe. She could only manage gasps of air. "I'm so sorry Sakura…you are worthy, I'm the one who is unworthy of such a woman." He whispered, "Please…Sas…kiss me…one-" she didn't get the chance to finish, Sasuke crushed his lips against hers, he didn't want to hear that it would be their last kiss. He felt her lips curl up into a smile, then her life left her. He could feel the spark inside of her finally extinguish. He sobbed as his lips were still pressed against hers, he didn't care that her blood now covered him.
Neji cleared his throat, "Sasuke, we must cremate her and the other two and head home." He blinked, his eyes empty of emotion. Sasuke growled, "You take care of the other two, we're taking Sakura back. She deserves a proper burial." Kiba nodded in agreement, Neji sighed and nodded, "Fine." He muttered.
They made it back in record time, Sasuke headed straight for his home with her body, Neji could deliver the report. He laid her corpse on the bed, she had made it before she had left, if it was for the mud and gore that covered her body, she would have looked like she was sleeping. He stripped her of her clothes and brought in a bowl of warm water and a few towels. He began cleaning her body, when he was done, she really did just look asleep, dressed in a white spaghetti strap dress, he felt tears threaten to spill. He turned the shower on as hot as it would go, he didn't feel it burn his skin, he felt so cold and lost without his team mate, she and Naruto were the only ones that had believed he would come back. She had still loved him when he was released from the shinobi prison, she had been there when he would wake up screaming his brother's name in fear.
He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, his reflection showed him a red skinned zombie. His eyes were even blacker and empty than when he was a part of Team Hebi. His face was even more emotionless than when he was Orochimaru's apprentice. He pulled on a white shirt and khaki pants, he slid into his side of the bed, next to the light in his life. Even in death she shone beautifully, he pulled a kunai out of the bedside table, he couldn't live without her. He couldn't live with himself for the way he treated her. The sharp piece of metal shimmered coldly in the mid-afternoon sun, he'd have to be quick, otherwise Naruto would get here before he was done.
On the headboard of the bed he carved: I couldn't live without her. Naruto would understand, he wouldn't judge Sasuke for this decision. He brought the kunai to his throat and sliced the sensitive flesh from ear to ear. With the last of his strength he wrapped his arms around his precious person, well now people, his lover and their baby. He would see them soon, he knew he would.
Naruto burst into their small house, screaming Sasuke's name, he smelled blood. He took off up the stairs and fell to his knees when he saw what he feared most. The girl he had loved for as long as he could remember was as white as the dress she wore, she had been cleaned and her hair was brushed back and held in place by a white headband, revealing the bane of her childhood, her beautiful noble forehead. Sasuke lay behind her, spooning with her, their white comforter soaked with his blood. The dark liquid contrasted painfully against their skin, Naruto screamed in anger and pain, the Kyuubi's chakra rolling off of him, scorching the hardwood floor beneath him. ANBU was there within seconds, they remained silent as the Hokage screamed and cried at the loss of his first friends.
There was only one jar that held their ashes, Naruto didn't have the heart to separate them, even in death. Tears streamed down his face as he held the jar close to his chest, all of Rookie 12 was there, minus the two in the jar. Ino was crying and leaning on Choji heavily, regret and guilt squeezing her heart painfully. Shikamaru was smoking a cigarette and had a hard look on his face, Hinata stayed silent as tears streamed from her opalescent eyes. Neji and Kiba had told them what happened, they all felt a small pang of guilt for not being there for her.
Kakashi stepped forward from the small crowd, he placed an aged hand on his former student's shoulder, "It's time to let them go Naruto." He whispered, Naruto nodded and after whispering the customary prayer and a wish for them to be happy in the afterlife he opened the jar and tossed their combined ashes to the wind, allowing them to be scattered.
A/N Sorry it's so depressing…I've been pretty unhappy lately…well…I hope you enjoyed it despite the sadness. Reviews are appreciated.