I want to say a HUGE thank you to Ztofan! She checks and gives advice on all my stories and I do not thank her enough! She gave me a lot of help with this one - it would not have been possible without her. So thank you - you are awesome!
We, the undersigned, agree to limit our carnal activities to the following times and locations:
-Weekdays, between the hours of 8am and 6pm
-Alternate weekdays, 10-10.30pm (Special dispensation to be agreed for selected national holidays)
-Weekend activities will be limited to timings when the loft is not inhabited by other occupants and/or times when the other inhabitants are entertaining guests of the opposite sex.
-The only acceptable locations for said activities will be the sleeping spaces of Roommate 1 and Roommate exceptions.
Signed:
Nicholas Miller –Roommate 1
Jessica Day – Roommate 2
"No Schmidt, not going to happen, I am not signing that." Jess shook her head as she pushed the notepad back towards him. Schmidt was sitting opposite her on the long dining room table. Defiantly, she folded her arms across her chest and lay back against the dining table chair.
"Jessica I have watched on for the past week while you two maul each other at every opportunity! On the couch, in the kitchen -just yesterday I was trying to use the bathroom and you two were both in the shower. I'm still scarred by the noises you were making!"
"Ew Schmidt - you were listening to us!"
"Not on purpose!," he shifted his gaze to Nick, "Do you realise how loud you are? If we are to preserve the delicate balance in this loft there must be rules! Without rules, there is chaos!" Schmidt's expression was a cross between earnest self-belief and petulant child. She rolled her eyes as she picked up her mug and sipped her tea.
"An 'As Long As You're Nailing Oath,' Schmidt? That kinda insinuates this isn't going to last," Nick said from his seat at the table. "And it is."
"It is," Jess echoed. Quickly, she turned and looked at him, "Wait, I hope that's not the only problem you have with this!"
"No, no Jess, I mean, I just-" Nick unceremoniously launched himself at Jess's lips, slipping his hand into her hair and pressing her mouth against his own. Her muffled cries of 'Oh God' were barely audible over the heavy breathing and sound of smacking lips.
"You see, this is exactly what I mean!" Schmidt screamed, pushing his chair back from the table in disgust.
They pulled apart from each other, looking flushed and slightly sheepish."Sorry," Jess apologized with a shrug, "We just started dating. You know what it's like." She gave Nick a look and he pulled her onto his lap.
"So what were we talking about?" Nick asked, staring up at Jessica, a little dazed.
Schmidt groaned and began to remove his cufflinks and push up the sleeves of his shirt. "You see what you've done to him?" he said to Jess. "We were talking, Nicholas, about your carnal activities with Miss Day."
"Carnal activities?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Sex. Nailing. The horizontal tango. Buttering her toast. You running amok in her lady garden. Parking your car in her garage. Playing hide the sausage-"
"He gets the point Schmidt," Jess interjected.
"Oh yeah," he said with a smirk, giving Jess's waist a squeeze as he did so. "Look Schmidt, you need to accept we're a couple now and, well, we are gonna do stuff. A lot of stuff."
"Yeah we are," Jess chimed as she pulled Nick into another crushing embrace.
"I give up. I cannot talk to you when you are like-like this!"
"Like what Schmidt?" Jess teased, wrapping her arms around Nick and nibbling his ear, "Like this?"
"Or like this?" Nick asked, as he lifted Jess up until she sat straddling him and began to kiss her, leaning her back over the table.
"Urgh," Schmidt grunted in revulsion, turning on his heel, and stormed off to his room.
Jess began to giggle uncontrollably as Nick nuzzled into her neck. "Hey Nick, do you think we were a bit mean?"
"Are you kidding?" he replied, lifting his head, "You do remember this is the same guy who would leave his weekly masturbation schedule on the refrigerator when you first moved in?"
"Fair point," she nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck and shuffled a little closer. "Hey," she whispered into his ear, "All this is making me kinda – you know…"
Nick took his cue, quickly picking her up and hurrying to her room.
Letting out a throaty squeal, Jess wriggled against the door as Nick began to pull at her short black skirt, his lips tracing the outline of her jaw.
"Damn it Nick, why didn't we start doing this a long time ago?" she sighed breathlessly.
"Huh?" he mumbled into her throat, sending a delicious hum through her body.
"Us. This. It's so, ohh,"she moaned as he reached the soft skin of her neck, one hand cupping her cheek as the other pushed down her thick, wool tights. Hungrily she began to paw at the material of his shirt, just breaking part long enough to remove it and toss it behind them in the vague direction of her bed.
Nick swallowed and leaned his hand against the door, his face inches from hers. He licked his lips quickly, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth as he looked her in the eye. "You have no idea how much I've wanted this."
Slipping her hands onto his now bare chest, she replied, "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he kissed her neck once more whilst pressing her hips against his – she could feel how much he wanted her, "For the longest time." He continued his trail of kisses as he slipped his hands under her shirt, peeling it slowly away.
"Really?" she asked as she pulled off her glasses and threw them onto her dresser, "Did you used to think about me?"
"A lot," he moaned as his lips and teeth nipped at the skin visible over the top of her lacy bra, "A lot a lot."
She broke into a wide grin as she worked at the zip of his khakis, "Tell me more."
"When you had guys in the loft, it drove me crazy…"
"Is that so?" She began to breathe heavily into his ear as she slipped her hands into his boxers, fingers digging into his butt.
"I had to put on loud music to block it out. I could hear you. It drove me crazy… You being just across hall. Doing stuff I always wanted to do with you. Naked."
"What else?" Pausing, she moved her hands to his waist and pushed him to the bed.
"You make all these noises. It's so freakin' hot. Little moans. It was hard to take. I wanted it to be me making you sound like that."
He reached his hands around her to unhook her bra, letting it drop to the floor and taking her breasts in his hands.
"Did you dream about me?" she asked, pulling him down onto the bed on top of her. He ran his hands roughly across her body and around the back of her waist, pushing it up to reach his mouth as he leaned down to lay a trail across her stomach.
"Yeah," he said in a whispery heaving was as he worked his way down to her panties. "So much. What I wanted to do to you, how I wanted to make you feel, how you'd look naked on my bed-"
"Damn," she cried when she felt his hands slip into the material of her underwear, pushing them to one side, slowly moving inside her. Moving back up her body, his tongue began to work small circles against her nipples, "Holy shit that's good."
"I dreamed about doing this to you," he continued, "And this." His mouth moved down to join his fingers, running against her bundle of nerves as her body began to twitch - legs shaking, toes curling.
A tickling, throbbing ache began to grow in her stomach as her vision blurred, narrowing to a small circle of clarity. Her eyes rolled back as the ache grew into a ball of pressure, she dug her hands into his hair, pulling a little too tightly as the tension spilled out of her, in cool shuddering waves. Her hands and toes clenched. A stream of soft expletives spilled from her mouth.
She lay back, catching her breath as he pulled himself up to her face. "I have a whole lot more material where that came from. Two years worth."
Her cheeks flushed and her hair ruffled, she smiled up at him, "Well, we better not waste any time. We've got a lot of catching up to do."
Then she pulled him back towards her, not wasting a second.
The loft was dark; just a small light marking the kitchen area and the flickering glow from the TV to illuminate the large, empty space. Jess was curled up on the sofa marking English papers, the TV tuned into the Nat Geo channel-they were having a special about turtles. She knew Nick had a thing for them so she was doing a little bit of research in between reading essays about the motivations of Oberon and Titania in A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Just after midnight, the loft door creaked open and Nick slipped in after his shift.
"Hey, I didn't think you'd be up?" He walked over to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.
"Midterms for summer school," she explained, holding up a stack of papers. Damn, he thought, she looked so cute in the pink gown and glasses. She was the only girl he knew who looked genuinely hot in glasses. Like really hot.
He slid over to the couch and sat next to her. "You look cute when you're working hard."
"Oh, do I?" she laughed, looking over her glasses at him.
"Yeah, well, just a little." He gestured a small amount with his thumb and forefinger.
"Hey!" She grabbed his hand and began to pull it towards her when the mood switched in and instant. Suddenly it became a hot mess of hands, and mouths and midterm papers strewn across the floor as she knocked the stack with her arms as she struggled to undo the soft cotton belt of her robe.
"Oh God you're so hot."
"No you are."
"No you are."
"Oh shut up!" He silenced their argument with kiss.
A few minutes later...
"Dial. Best friend. Number 2."
"Wassup?"
Schmidt was busy piling blankets and pillows against the gap at the base of his door, pressing them tight with his foot whilst holding his phone to his ear. "Can you hear them?"
"Who?"
"Who? Them. Nick and Jess. They are going at it like animals on our couch." He sat back on the edge of his bed and glared at the door menacingly.
"Dude, I'm at work. Remember, I work nightshift."
"Still – don't you care that they have soiled our seating area? Sullied the one spot in the loft where I can truly relax outside my own boudoir." A loud scream – he couldn't tell whose it was – filled the air, "You see? Disgusting."
"Well, I'm admittedly not thrilled, but Schmidt, how many times has your junk made contact with the couch? That kimono, man…"
"It is not the same. There will be," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "Bodily fluids."
"Okay Schmidt, I'm done."
"Wait, Winston, we need-"
The phone went dead and he tossed it to one side. Something needed to be done. And soon.