Nachos and Iced Coffee.
A/N This is a really, really short fic. Please read and review and I may continue it, or lengthen it.
Summary: Jane and her boyfriend try to have a nice picnic with some nachos and iced coffee. They soon realise it's impossible. Especially when she finds out her boyfriend isn't as straight as he seems…
It was a wonderful summer's day and Jane was trying to enjoy a delicious picnic with her boy friend, Rizzo. This was very hard to do partly due to the fact that Jane was about three times Rizzo's size. Once they had settled into a comfortable position, Jane brought out the iced coffee.
Rizzo took one gulp of the iced coffee and through it at Jane. "AHHHHHHHH!" Rizzo screamed. "IT'S POISONED!"
"It is beyond my reasoning as to why the iced coffee would be poisoned." Jane replied, trying to smooth things over.
"Its iced coffee." Rizzo said, like this simple sentence explained. The cup off iced coffee started its fall down and landed on Jane's head.
She squealed like a girl and ran to the picnic basket, looking for something to wipe it off with. She was completely unsuccessful. She had a nice brown stain right at her bottom. Jane felt like crying, but ate a nacho instead, nibbling a small, delicate pattern around it. She handed one to Rizzo, who took one bite out of it and spat it onto Jane's face.
"YUCK!" he screamed. "THAT WAS THE MOST UTTERLY DISGUSTING NACHO I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF EATING!
Jane had taken a mirror out of her handbag and screamed again as she saw her reflection. Her beautiful face had been covered in some chewed up dough. She screamed again.
"You scream like a girl." Rizzo stated bluntly.
"I am a girl, " Jane replied slightly confused.
"B-but I thought you were male! That's it, I am out of here! And if anyone asks, there was nothing between us. NOTHING! Rizzo started crying, fat wet tears flowing out of his eyes. "I liked you as a man. Last time I date a fat gorilla." He ran away, in the direction of the setting sun, leaving Jane on her own.
"Well, someone hasn't taken their medication today," she whispered to herself. "I sure hope the next animal who asks me out is straight." She walked away, not even realizing that this episode meant that she looked like a man.
If she was sure of one thing though, it was that iced coffee and nachos do not mix.
Fin
Fin
Fin
Fin
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