CHAPTER 1 : LAST SUMMER IN LIVERPOOL
After his interviews and acceptance into Oxford, the remainder of the summer rushed by for Merlin.
Arthur was not a part of his life but that didn't stop Gawaine from making references to their stay in Oxford. He never let on to Merlin that he had noticed Arthur's seeming reluctance to let him go at the station. That didn't keep him from making banal remarks like, "Well, when the two of you are set up in Oxford, I'll come and stay with you. I can share my brother's room if he's there."
Merlin would just look at him grinning and remind him using the Las Vegas advert's punch line saying, "What happens in Oxford stays in Oxford!"
Gawaine went with that premise and would make cryptic remarks about gambling, poker tables, slots, high rollers and trips to Vegas. To the point that one day, when Merlin was having lunch with the family, Gawaine's brother Gareth asked him if he was going on a holiday to America. Kieran who had not been really following the conversation suddenly joined in insisting that if Gawaine was going to take his twin brother, he also wanted to go.
Gawaine's father had laughed saying, "If you have money to take the family on a trip to Las Vegas, maybe I am giving you too much pocket money?"
His mother had chided her husband saying, "Dear, he hardly gets enough to travel to Edinburgh let alone America." Turning to Gawaine she continued seriously, "If you want to go to the States, finish university and then make plans. We might even be able to arrange for you to stay with your Aunt Dorcas in Vermont."
"That sounds lovely, Gawaine, maybe we could go together," Merlin suggested, "that is, Mrs. Knells, if Gawaine's Aunt Dorcas could put us up." Gawaine just smiled sweetly at Merlin saying that he had no immediate plans to travel and found his leg under the table and gave it a good pinch to shut him up.
But the topic wouldn't die a natural death as his mother assured them that Aunt Dorcas certainly had a large enough house to have two guests and that if they went in the winter they could go skiing as she lived just outside Stowe.
Gawaine's father finally said to on one in particular, "Well as the trip is not imminent I think I'll take the dogs out," he added to his two youngest, "want to come with me?"
Soon only three people were left at the table and Gawaine offered to help with the clean up but his mother insisted that she could manage. "What do the two of you have planned for this afternoon? You should take advantage of the nice weather."
-0-0-
As if finally turned out, they ran an errand of mercy as Merlin's mother phoned to say that she'd promised a friend, one of the choir members of the church in New Brighton some sheet music and as Gaius was out, she wondered if Merlin could maybe deliver it that afternoon.
It brought home to Merlin the fact that his free days of roaming around Liverpool with Gawaine were numbered, as soon he'd be leaving for Oxford. Merlin told his mother he'd do it and asked if Gawaine wanted to go. Gawaine said that maybe they could get a lift but no one was available so the two of them took a bus to the Pier Head to get on the Mersey ferry to Seacombe.
As they waited to board, Gawaine said, "I should have my driving licence."
"Why, do you think that Laurence would lend you his car?"
"No, but Mum might!"
Merlin knew that it would be years before he would be able to get his licence and he didn't think that he would need one or even feel the absolute need for one as Gawaine did.
Gawaine wanted to sit on the top deck so that the wind could blow in his hair. Merlin grinned and happily trailed him up the stairs. He not only had the sheet music with him but also his camera and sitting with Gawaine he had the opportunity to take photos of him.
Gawaine shook his hair back suggesting that he waited for a good gust of wind. Merlin snapped a few shots before changing to a zoom lens and picking out specific places in Liverpool itself. As they got further down the Mersey, he aimed for the Everton's Goodison Park.
Gawaine dug him in the ribs and said, "Wasted shot!"
Merlin laughed and said, "Don't worry, I intend to get a shot of Anfield from the Wirral. Did you know that if you are in Weston-Super-Mare you can pick out Cardiff's Millennium Stadium across the Bristol Channel?"
"Wouldn't mind going back to Cardiff again?" Gawaine became thoughtful adding, "When you leave, it will seem strange not being able to see you every day or have you pop around for a meal. I think my mother is going to miss you!"
Merlin smiled, he knew that it would be Gawaine's missing him not necessarily his mother and he felt exactly the same way. He said, "We'll be able to phone and text each other, then we'll see each other during the term breaks and holidays. I'll always come back to Liverpool as that is where I belong." 'At the moment…' he thought. "Anyway, we will both be very busy studying, however will seem strange not having familiar faces around, for a little while at least…"
Gawaine laughed saying, "I know…what happens in Oxford stays in Oxford!"
"I promise that I will keep you updated on what is going on in Oxford." He smiled and then turning to look across to the far side of the river adding under his breath, "…well, somethings!"
The ferry made an adjustment in its direction and they could see the pier at Seacombe in the near distance. Merlin kept taking photos as the ferry docked.
They had a one and a half mile walk along the promenade to New Brighton. His mother had told him that at one time the ferry used to go there but not any longer. He didn't mind the walk as it was warm and sunny. He kept his eyes peeled over the Mersey for Anfield. Gawaine saw it first and they kept walking until they reached Vale Park and were almost opposite. As he stopped to get his camera ready, Gawaine suggested that his next purchase should be a drone as he would have been able to send it across the river and get fabulous shots.
"I don't know if that is even permissible because of the airport. Anyway, you're not supposed to fly over built-up areas and more importantly I don't have a drone."
"If you timed it right, you'd could have it back in your bag before anyone had the time to report it."
Merlin looked at the groups of people on the promenade and doubted that, "Gawaine, remember how loud Lance's was when he had it on the playing fields. It sounded like an enraged gigantic bumble bee!"
"Melin, you're so cute who would be afraid of bumble bees?"
"Me, because in some instances they will sting." Gawaine looked at him as if he were kidding, "Honestly, Gawaine, I know that they are not usually aggressive not like honey bees and wasps but they do sting if you push your luck."
Merlin then concentrated on Anfeild and getting a shot which appealed to him. He wouldn't tell Gawaine but actually the idea of sending a drone across the river to then circle the stadium and return to the Wirral was quite interesting. He'd seen the video that Lance had done of their school buildings. He could see it swinging around the Liver Building and then going over to the Cathedral and maybe the big ferris wheel at Albert Dock.
He heard Gawaine say something and he looked up but then he realised that Gawaine had stuck up a conversation with a policeman on bicycle patrol and was asking him if drones could be flown in this area. The police man said that over the river yes but not over built up areas and the rules depended on the municipality. He also said that you had to keep away airports, people and vehicles unless on private land.
Merlin by then had packed away his lenses and suggested that they deliver the sheet music before continuing to the end of the promenade and New Brighton Fort.
They could make out the church of St. Peter and St. Paul with its green dome. "That's where the sheet music will end up. Did you know that the dome is called the Dome of Home because that is what the merchant seaman returning to Liverpool called it."
They found the house on Victoria Parade not far from the train station. Merlin phoned his mother when they were at the Fort to tell her that the music had been delivered.
He knew that there was always an ice-cream truck in the vicinity and when he turned round Gawaine was queueing up to get a cone. Merlin decided to take a photos of him and the truck. "Banana for me!" he yelled at Gawaine.
By the time he'd finished and spoken with one parent who wondered if he could take a picture of their daughter having her first ice-cream which he did, then got their e-mail address, Gawaine was lounging on a bench with an ice-cream, he handed the second one to Merlin.
"You know this would be a great place for a drone, you could get up early in the morning and fly it to your heart's content. Maybe even as far as the lighthouse over there." Merlin could see the sense in what he was saying. "You could send it out to sea and then bring it back over the fort and even peak in the windows."
"As I don't have a drone or any intention at the moment of buying one in the near future, I think I'll just trust my handy camera."
Gawaine laughed as it always fascinated him how attached Merlin was to his camera. He had to acknowledge that he was a good photographer and had given his mother a picture of the twins jumping off an old stone wall in the park and his father had had it framed for his office.
Merlin took pictures of everything and then Gawaine realised it was rarely people and certainly never girls. He laughed and shook his head.
"What's so funny?" Merlin wanted to know.
"You, but in a nice way! If you've finished with your ice-cream, let's go to the fort."
Merlin noticed that Gawaine did his head flick and sure enough on the next bench but one were two girls. He reminded him of a pigeon courting his lady friend. Gawaine nodded at both of the girls who just looked him through.
"You're probably the age of their younger brothers…" Merlin stated.
"That all right, 'Hope springs eternal!" A football rolled past him and he put his foot on it and when the young lad came up to get it, Gawaine kicked it to him and the pair of them dribbled the ball down the promenade until some old codger spoilt their fun by yelling that ball games weren't allowed on the promenade.
Gawaine shrugged and kicked the ball back to the kid and said, "Everton?"
"No!" the kid said before turning to make his way back to his parents, "Liverpool all the way! Thanks for the game, Mister."
Gawaine laughed and Merlin caught up with him.
Built in 1820 in the Napoleonic era to defend Liverpool, Fort Perch Rock was now a tourist destination as a nautical museum. Merlin wanted to photograph the lighthouse in the sunset. His mother had given him money for supper and they had their chose of location. He talked Gawaine into eating at the Sea Horse Restaurant about five minutes away.
"They don't specialise in seahorses do they?"
"Doubt it but I think they are eaten in Asia. Seems a shame as they are so cute. Did you know that they prefer to swim in pairs with their tails linked?"
"Well, I couldn't eat one, it would seem a sin!"
"Hardly, maybe a minor transgression…" Merlin said with a grin; however Gawaine wasn't interested as they had reached the restaurant and he could smell the fish and chips!
-0-0-
Merlin knew that as a student at Oxford, he would be expected to live in residence for his first year in one of the buildings associated to his college. Living in was financially more advisable but it did mean that at the end of term in some of the thirty colleges, the rooms were vacated for paying guests until the beginning of the next term.
Whereas some colleges only had residential space for one year. Magdalen was an exception as he could stay there for three to four years depending upon how long it took him to complete the requirements for his degree. The colleges were university associated with the University of Oxford conferring the degrees.
If after his first year, he opted to live out, he still would have access to the college library and dining hall as well as such mundane things as laundry facilities, common room and the bar, he had laughed to himself as that would have pleased Gawaine no end.
The idea of his being on site with twenty-four hour security appealed to his mother. Each lodge had a security force. These 'Porters' or door keepers, knew their residents. His mother knew that Merlin's being away from home was going to be difficult for her. She needed to know that he would be safe, fed and have the support of fellow students. She was thankful that the scholarships he had received meant that all aspects of his years towards his degree would be financially covered.
On his own, he'd gone onto the university site and had read positive reviews about the residences. He learned that boarding costs would cover three meals a day and accommodation. He told his mother what he'd found out and she nodded approvingly. Unbeknownst to him, Gawaine's mother had given her tips about having a son at Oxford as Gawaine's older brother Laurence was there as was his friend Arthur.
Gaius agreed with Hunith's concerns, "Up till now, he's been protected in school and living at home. For some students, the absolute freedom is intoxicating and they loose all judgement and sense of responsibility. I doubt that Merlin will loose his head but other parents have learned the hard way that their sons and daughters were not as mature as they thought they were or as solid in their goals as they had seemed; however I think that Merlin will make the transition easily and cope very well. Don't worry too much about it, just enjoy being the mother of an Oxford student."
"Well, at least, we know that Grace's Laurence is there and I'll see if he will check up on him every couple of weeks...just until he settles in."
Nodding, Gauis agreed that would make sense but he had a feeling that Merlin would already have someone watching over him.
-0-0-
Gawaine's hope of getting into his first choice of university had not materialised. He told Merlin that at one point he felt that he would be accepted nowhere. He'd even had the sickening feeling that he'd never go to university but over the last three years he had changed his mind. He finally wanted to go to university and preferably out of town, he'd read enough to have visions of absolute freedom.
Merlin shook his head, "You'll need to continue to commit yourself to your studies. You have done so well," he reached over and ruffled Gawaine's hair which was now much longer, "...honestly, you're a new man!"
Gawaine laughed and shoved him further along the sofa and and flicked his head sending his disheveled locks into a semblance of order.
"What did your Dad think of your placement?"
"Well, naturally he's pleased as I got into his alma mater and my mother is happy that I will be at home. However, my Dad did say that if I get through the first two years, he will reconsider and hopefully finance my moving into a flat in town with friends.
"Can't do much about it as unlike you, I only received a small bursary for books and the like. Dad pays my tuition and still holds the purse strings. I received £300 from Pendragon Enterprises, because my Dad works for them. It was a surprise and appreciated, maybe I should phone Arthur and tell him that his old man is not such a bastard after all."
Merlin smiled and suddenly he allowed himself a few moments of unbridled memories.
He felt Gawaine's nudge and came back to the present as his friend said, "If you do that every time you hear his name, how in hell's name will you fare in Oxford when he could be around any corner?"
"Don't be silly, Gawaine, with twelve thousand undergraduates, I doubt that I'll ever see him as chances of our being in the same lecture halls is minimal."
"If Arthur is the man I think he is, I'm sure your paths will cross..."
"If you have forgotten, Gawaine, I'm going to study not to socialise and I'm sure that Arthur has the same goals, anyway, he will have his own group of friends and he'd hardly be wasting his time with a first year student."
"Maybe that would be on his list of social priorities. I know you're going to study, still there has to be time for a healthy young male to receive some..."
"Gawaine," Merlin said blushing, "don't go there!"
His friend slipped off the sofa onto the floor laughing uncontrollably, "Merlin, you are so easy to tease. I have every confidence that you will study hard and get the results you want but remember," he put his hand out and Merlin dragged him upright, "promise me, that you will not lock yourself away with your books as life experiences are as important as book knowledge. Ask me, I know..."
Merlin shook his head at Gawaine and grinned. He knew that Gawaine was leaps and bounds ahead of him in life experiences. He had recently confided to him that he had slept with his girlfriend and grinned as he added, "Well, we didn't get much sleep..."
"Congratulations, you're a 'man of the world!" Merlin had said feeling that life just seemed to have passed him by. The only thing positive in his life was Oxford and then he remembered that someone who was very important to him would also be there.
-0-0-
She'd be lying to say that she was entirely excited about his moving to Oxford. Hunith knew that the time was approaching when Merlin would be leaving. She knew she'd miss him; he'd been around for seventeen years.
It hadn't the finality of when she had lost his father. She knew he would be, as the crow flies one hundred thirty-five miles away, four hours by train and much closer by phone. However, there would be an empty room upstairs, he had joked that she should rent it out during term time, he almost seemed serious until she had told him in no uncertain terms that it was his room and always would be. He'd given her a grin and she knew that she'd said the right thing and smiled back.
Merlin knew that she'd miss him as he would her. She had always been supportive of everything he tried even when as a ten year old he had decided that he would take up photography.
Gaius had thought that it would be a great idea and had unearthed his old camera. Merlin had been thrilled but he soon realised that the possibility of having the photos developed was way beyond what his meagre pocket money would allow.
Deciding that Merlin should experience a proper camera, Gaius had insisted on paying for the developing and printing of the photos. He also confided to him that at one point he had seriously thought about apprenticing to a Bold Street photographer. It was however, postwar and his father preferred that he get a proper education as he called it especially as he had the marks and the chance of a scholarship.
Merlin was a quick learner and when he had a good idea of F stops, lenses and distance. Gaius introduced him to another SLR and together they explored the possibilities.
Hunith would complain that they had taken photos of nearly every building in Liverpool. She would jokingly suggest that the two of them apply to the Liverpool Echo as staff photographers.
Her thirteen year old son, had looked surprised and said, "Do you think that I'm that good?"
Hunith's mind flashed back years to when Gaius had first told her wistfully, "Cambridge would be an excellent choice." Hunith had said nothing but considered in an ideal world that Merlin should also focus on attending Oxford as his father had. She had smiled as she realised that as a seven year old he was far from ready to make such a big commitment. She knew that there would be a government subsidy for further education to the surviving child of a parent killed in the military.
She smiled to herself as Gaius had once told her that everything he owned from his reliable old Vauxhall to his pension would be available for Merlin's further education. It had seemed amusing as the boy was only out of preparatory school; however one of his teachers had mentioned that if Merlin were seriously exposed to a proper education and encouraged that he would expect to hear that he had excelled in his schooling and was university bound.
Merlin brought his mother back to the present, "But I also intend to go to university!" the thirteen year old had reminded her.
Hunith had said, "Well, if you continue applying yourself in your studies, you might have your choice of any college you want. That is, as long as you can get a scholarship I'd hate to think of your missing out because we couldn't afford it or saddling yourself with a ₤9500 student loan." She had never discussed the military benefits for surviving children as she wanted him to prove to himself that he was capable of attaining a scholarship.
-0-0-
Merlin was now a confirmed photographer. He didn't understand the idea of using an iPhone as he felt that pointing and clicking was not his idea of photographing something. He acknowledged that they had their place in recording events but it was so often a hit and miss affair; many of the resulting photos which he had seen posted would never have seen the light of day in the age of negatives. He preferred the idea of a contact sheet, where you could be merciless and chose to print only photos that were of some merit. He liked the weight of a camera in his hands and knowing that he had the ability to make the image his own by judicial use of camera settings. When he finally graduated to a digital single-lens reflex camera, he was in his element. He intended to look into the possibility of joining one of the University camera clubs.
He intended to take every opportunity to use his camera. He knew that the architecture would offer many an opportunity to further his favourite hobby. He sat quietly envisioning the mullioned windows, the stone facades and the wooden doors which he'd seen on his first visit and he was just itching to get there and pick out the buildings which represented the many examples of English architecture from medieval gutters to Saxon Tower, Magdalen College's English Gothic style to Neo Classic and the present day.
He'd read about another medieval door below Oxford Town Hall leading via underground passages to houses in the Jewish Quarter, the town hall having been built on the site of five medieval Jewish stone homes. Although the passageways were to be viewed by appointment only, the museum supposedly houses many interesting historical references and artefacts.
The more he thought about Oxford the more excited he became. He'd received more information on the accelerated course, he would be taking and he hoped that he would be able to prove to the tutors that he was their right choice.
He suddenly realised that his leaving home would be bittersweet. At least his mother wasn't going to be alone as she still had Gaius whom he knew would look after her as he had all the years since his father died.
Wondering if he would ever feel the presence of his father in Oxford, he decided in the time left he would ask his mother to tell him all she remembered of her visits with him. He only had vague memories of him as a figure in the shadows and someone who used to give piggyback rides as he crawled around the sitting room. His mother had told him that when he was on leave it was as if there were two children in the house as it sometimes got that wild.
"He loved you so much…" she used to tell him with tears in her eyes. " and was so looking forward to your growing up."
He remembered once as a child saying, "But he left us!"
Gaius had come into the room having met Hunith in tears on the stairs and had tried to explain the difference between making the decision to leave a family and being taken away from his family as his father had been.
Merlin didn't really remember the funeral but he knew that military funerals always affected him in a sad way and he loved it when his mother would open the little leather case and show him the medals his father had won for his bravely. There were many photos around of his father and mother, some of their wedding and one with him when he was baptised which he didn't remember. His favourite by far was one of him in his father's arms stroking a donkey at New Brighton, when he looked at it he felt that he could feel the donkey's coat, hear the voices of other children and feel his father's arms around him. Then he'd smile…