And so the comeback story of my career begins! This will eventually become a ArnoldxHelga story at some point in time. For now, enjoy the story! And if you'd like, please tell me what you think/what I should change/improve, etc. Thank you!

You know, when I was younger, I always thought that if you wished upon a star for something that you really really wanted, it would come true. Now I know that wishing on stars won't get you anywhere. In fact, wishing on a star is like wishing on a big ball of gas millions of miles away. Might as well wish on your own farts since they're closer, right?

I stopped believing in destiny and magic a long time ago. That stuff's for little prissies who frolic around in prissy little dresses and smile all the time. I'm a rationalist. Why sugarcoat the complexity of life with sunshine and rainbows?

Now you might be wondering why I'm such a Negative Nancy. The answer is simple. It all comes down to the love of my life – Arnold. Everything about that boy could light a fire inside of me and make me melt into a glob of unsuspecting passion. Thing is, I'm the roughest, toughest girl you'll ever set your eyes across. Not only am I extremely awesome and better than everybody else in every way, shape, and form, but I'm also the strongest, fastest, and smartest kid in the world. A paragon such as myself couldn't simply admit my feelings for Arnold. No. That would upset the balance of the world.

But what did I care? I told that sucker my feelings when we were nine after I helped him practically save the town from complete and utter destruction. We kissed, granted it was mostly me doing the work, and that's history. By now you're wondering well what the hell? She got her happy ending! That doesn't answer my question. Well listen up, bucko. I'm not finished with my story.

After the kiss, we agreed that it all happened in the heat of the moment. I know Arnold isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he just couldn't wrap himself around the idea that somebody as perfect as me could love him... What am I saying?

I'm the furthest thing from perfect, and everybody knows it. My sister has never been short of perfect since the day she was born. I, on the other hand, always had millions and millions of flaws. I guess that's why Arnold is so amazing. He doesn't care about those flaws; he embraces them. To top it all off, he himself is perfect.

Arnold is the most perfect human being you can ever meet. He's sweet, funny, charming, and empathetic. He's a friend that will always be there if anybody needs him. That's what I love about him. As for me… Well I'm not exactly the nicest girl on the block. I was the local bully that nobody ever wanted to mess with. I could never be enough for Arnold. He's too… flawless. Even after I kissed him, he accepted my apology and did nothing to make me feel awkward or bad. In fact, after the incident, we went back to our daily routine. Spit balls, yelling, same old, same old.

Then Big Bob told me the fantastic news. Ol-ga landed a role as an actress in a new TV show in LA, and we had to go with her to support her while she settled in. It didn't matter that I was going to get awards at school for English or that I had a graduation from elementary. The only thing that mattered was supporting Ol-ga like a good family should.

She became pretty popular with the media, and everybody ate up her story of teaching little snot-nosed eskimos what two plus two is. Olga got rich, popular, famous – how could I compare? I was her ugly little sister that was always sitting by herself, writing in an old, worn-out notebook. I was nothing compared to her.

But then things got better. Olga's manager saw some kind of potential in me. I still don't know what he saw because the only thing you could see was the unibrow staring right at ya. Anyways, he signed me up for this gig as a model for a mall; I could really care less. They said I was an amazing model that just needed a bit of tweaking, so the guy went ahead and did what no man should ever do if he wants to keep his pretty little face. That's right. He brought me to a salon and had them completely change me. The worst part about it was that I had no say in what I would look like.

By the end of the day, I had two eyebrows, my hair was layered with side bangs, and my skin was tanned. At first, I hated the change. I didn't look like myself. I was one of those Barbie dolls put on display for the perfume department. I had all kinds of shame for that. However, I couldn't help but notice that they were right. I looked pretty. For once I actually looked good. Then, I was signed up for another gig. People liked my look. I'm not the most radiant flower in the patch, but I was decent enough to make it as a model. My face was ehh, but my body… Well I definitely should thank my love for sports.

I was signed up to do bikini modeling and the shots were gorgeous. At least, that's what my parents told me when they received the paycheck for my photos. Now they had two daughters to brag about – Olga and Olga.

I took on the modeling business and got a hoot out of it. I was only 14 when they signed me up, but I was rocking it like those older teens. I did my duty as a model and got the money to prove it. When I finally got used to this lifestyle, Olga just had to go ahead and switch it up again.

After a few years of living in LA and doing professional work, Ol-ga decided she wanted to live the simple life. Of course, Mommy and Daddy couldn't refuse the request of their perfect daughter who is now engaged to a rich, handsome producer, so now I'm on a plane flying back to Hillwood. It isn't exactly a pretty sight to see my sister snuggling up with her soon-to-be hubby, Tim, so I've been spending my flight looking out the window and contemplating life. That's when I saw the shooting star and this entire conversation happened.

I can't really say I'm too excited about going back to Hillwood. I didn't exactly leave the best impression when I left. Helga G. Pataki, the nasty bully of PS 118 is back and ready to induce terror in the hearts of young children. The only person who would be excited about me coming back would be Phoebe, and she probably skipped enough grades to graduate high school by now.

And then there's Arnold. Unless he moved his flawless self somewhere else, he'll be at Hillwood, and I'll have to suffer the pain of desiring him from afar yet again. The pain I would have if he's taken by some gorgeous girl who's perfect in every way that he is. Please, please don't let him be taken! Sweet lord or Buddha or whoever you are up there, please let my pain from Arnold be at a minimal!

You can say that this flight has been nerve-wrecking. I would say it's as bad as purgatory. I can only hope that things will go well from here on. In ten minutes, the plane will be landing. In ten minutes, I'll be back in my hometown. In ten minutes, I'll be one step closer to possibly seeing the love of my life yet again.

Now, my story begins. It's been seven long, long years since I've last been to Hillwood. I can only imagine what will happen to me next. If I'm being watched over, I won't gather much attention, and I can blend into the routine of high school without a single person noticing. If not… Well good luck, Helga G. Pataki.