THE ULTIMATE HOME IMPROVEMENT FAN FICTION Chapter 1

A/N: For all those who haven't looked at the category of this fic yet, this IS a parody, and is meant to be crappy.

Hint: If you have trouble reading this, try saying what's typed out loud.

-Yours truly, Randy Taylor

how was youre day jill asks tim when he gets home

horrible we did our salute to screw drivers and i managed to blow 1 up tim says to his lovely wife

how did you do that she ask

the thing needed more power like everything does arr arr arr tim grunts

dont you wanna no how my day was jill ask after a secont

know it sounds like it was a bad one tim say

my proffessor assined thre3 new book to read by monday

then i saw all those horrible things you said about woman on tool time how could you say were all naggy old witches

i said you all were naggy witches i never said any thing abut woman being old tim defends his self

are the boyz home tim ask

no jill says

okay than lets go have wild pashonat sex up stares tim sugessts

okay but lets start kissing down here and kiss all the way up stares jill say

arr arr arr tim grunts

LATERZ

mom dad im hoem brad says

i scored the wining goal in our socker game like i always do

oh im so proud of u hunnie jill says

and i aced my histree test today i got 80five write out of a posibble 6T randy say from door

and im just the gothic kid whose depressed and doesnt wana be liek his bros im going to go maek a evil dark twissted movey ware every1 dyes in the end mark tell every1

oh mark we love you just as much as youre too brother tim says

oh okay than im happy now problem solved mark say

i love are family jill say to tim

me too im going to go work on the hotrod now i havent dun that in this episode yet tim say

THE END (for now)

A/N: I apologize. I apologize to everyone out there who lost IQ points by reading this.

This is the hardest chapter I've ever written, because I had to ignore all basic grammar laws.

Just a note: I started to use winches instead of witches, but didn't figure anybody writing a story of this quality would know, let alone use the word winches.

Anyways, I'm going to probably add more chapters to this as I write them, but I'm not going to update this regularly, and this story's status will remain as complete all the time, just because I never know what chapter will be the last.

Please R&R if you liked it. If you do, then I just might write some more.

Thanks for reading and putting up with the bad grammar, lack of capital letters, quotation marks, spelling, and everything else wrong with this story.

-Yours truly, Randy "The Apparently (But Isn't Really) Grammarless" Taylor