Shits Fucked

One-Shot

AU

Summary: A new war that has caused many important people in the world to die. Because of this, Naruto's been named as Kage. Now, as he stands before his enemy, he wants to know why. Why did he kill all those humans? He'll learn why. Not through shouts and screams but with music!

The wind blew eerily over the battlefield. Ninja stood before the white mob. Some were nervous at the prospect of another war while others were gritting their teeth in anger. Many lives had already been lost. Most could feel deep within themselves that this was going to be the first grueling battle of this war. They wondered how long it would last and when this bloodshed was going to end.

Naruto, the new Kage who had been called to office only a month ago, walked forward. He stood a little way ahead of his army and stared down the enemy. He felt angry and saddened. His friends from Konoha 12 were all dead, having been killed on a mission by these monsters a year ago. It's one of the main reason that this war started. All of the sages – Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya – had all been killed off. The Kage around the world were murdered in cold blood. He was the one of these three groups – Konoha 12, Sage, and Kage – that hadn't been killed. Now, by elders across the world, had called him and begged him to lead this war. They could have but they were old and had lost most of their spunk. He just hit twenty, physically and mentally fit to lead a war.

So that's just what he's going to do.

But not without answer.

Naruto stared down the leader of the white mob who walked out ahead too. The man had green hair with piercing yellow eyes. Half of his body was white while the other was black. His army was just lifeless clones standing behind him. The Kage growled, "ZETSU! YOU BASTARD!"

"So, we're already name-calling." The man laughed.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT?!" Naruto's shouting was starting to rile up the armies.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Zetsu chuckled.

"WHY DID YOU KILL ALL THOSE HUMANS!" He screamed out.

Zetsu's eyes narrowed, "I see…" He turned his body so that he was facing his army. Naruto thought that the leader was going to just walk off of the battlefield, but he didn't. "Clone B-845, give me that mic and get those strobe lights out." Zetsu stated, catching the microphone that was thrown at him as the sky turned black. Naruto's army shouted on about magic as white and yellow lights rained down on top of the enemy leader. "Turn the music on. I'm about to explain why I started this war!" Zetsu called out as one of the clones brought out a jukebox from who-knows-where. The evil man gave a chuckle before the music started to play.

Naruto growled.

"Everybody knows shit's fucked!"

The clones behind Zetsu started to dance.

"I don't give a good goddamn; your Uncle Sam is a motherfucker."

This vulgarity was starting to get to Naruto as he and his army halted.

"I don't wanna see him again, have to pretend, count to ten."

Zetsu started to advance towards the blond haired Kage, rolling his hips to the beat of the music.

"You blew up your towers to justify a war; I don't really care what your arms are for."

Naruto, seeing the enemy walking towards him, walked forward to meet up with him in the middle.

"More money on defense fuck hospitals."

They were close now, only a few feet from each other.

"Fuck human beings, fuck humanity."

Zetsu gave a smirk as they found themselves only a few inches from each other.

"Fuck human beings, fuck humanity."

Naruto growled, fist curling in anger at this man's reasons for hurting humans.

"Fuck human beings, fuck humanity."

The creature wanted to laugh, but that would just mess up his funky groove.

"Fuck human beings, fuck humanity."

Naruto gave a swing, growling lowly when it missed his target.

"The country I was born in sold its soul to you motherfuckers, now you patrol both sides of the border."

This was starting to get out of control as both Zetsu and Naruto battled out in the middle of the battlefield.

"No, I don't wanna listen to your order; New World Order, New World Order."

Even when the Kage managed to land a hit on Zetsu, he continued to sing.

"Haven't got anything to lose."

The mob and ninja had finally had enough, rushing forward to fight back.

"Forty years old, half dead."

The jukebox played its music louder and louder as the fighting continued onwards.

"Got a noose in my hands; somebody gave it to me."

Zetsu's singing also got louder the more he fought against Naruto, both on equal grounds right now.

"I don't want it."

The mob of clones shrieked and shouted as they fearlessly fought against the ninjas of all kinds.

"No, I don't want it. Unh!"

Naruto huffed and puffed, using a wind jutsu to try and cut Zetsu in half only to have it be dodged.

"You patrol both sides of the borders."

Zetsu tried not to chuckle at the man's attempts but kept on singing his damned song.

"You patrol both sides of the borders."

The ninjas' jutsu didn't work on the mob of clones and it just frustrated them.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

Zetsu gave a twirl, swinging his hips and rolling his shoulders while also blocking the attacks from the Kage.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

He grinned as he forcefully grabbed Naruto into his arms, dipping the man to the beat of the song before making him spin away.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

Naruto screamed in frustration and shot forward to attack the dancing man.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

The ninjas were starting to get the numbers down on the mob, but they just put themselves back together and got back to fighting.

"There's no explanation for the third building."

Naruto got another hit in but what pushed to the ground by some of the clones who had appeared behind him.

"Falling Toppling Extinct we sing is what we are as a race."

The mob circled around the ninjas who fought back with everything they had.

"If we don't face the fact the government fucks us in the ass, creating another Pearl Harbor."

The blond Kage held back Zetsu's attacks as much as he could.

"Killin' its own kind, what for?"

It was becoming harder and harder to concentrate on trying to keep this monster off of him when he just kept screaming out the words to this damned song.

"I don't know motherfucker."

The mob was slowly starting to push back the ninjas.

"I guess money's on the mind."

Sweat fell down Naruto's face in worry; he was losing.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

The mob had finally overcome the ninjas and was slaughtering them.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

He shot his fist into Naruto's chest before yanking it out with a heart in his hand.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

Zetsu stood in the middle of all this carnage, a winning smile on his face.

"Everybody knows shit's FUCKED!"

He had won.