Disclaimer: Teehee. Aren't OOC characters so fun? Too bad I don't own them.......
Wow, I've never gotten so many reviews from ppl I didn't know! Thanks so much! Since a lot of you wanted me to write more of Things That Can Go Wrong, (there's a big shocker there o.0) I shall. MUCH OOCness again. Give me reviews and I will be much happy, yes?
This takes place the day after the first story.
Things You Shouldn't Do To Your Potions Teacher At School
CHAPTER ONE - Why A Caffeine Induced Personality Is Scary
Harry beamed as he skipped down the hallway to the Great Hall. He had finally managed to get Severus to accept him as something more than a nosy little brat! And he had willingly kissed Harry on the cheek! Harry was overjoyed. Nothing good like this ever happened to him. It was always 'Oh look, Potter killed another ferocious monster, let's give him a million house points' or, 'Harry, you're so brilliant, let's let you skip your exams!' Who cared about house points when you had a super hot potions teacher to annoy?
"Harry? Are you alright? I've never seen you so.....perky....mate," Ron asked the hyperactive teen, trying to keep up with Harry's spasmodic frolicking.
"Of course I'm alright! I — " Harry was cut off by Hermione, who slapped her hand over his mouth.
"I'm sure Harry's just excited about the Quidditch game today," Hermione interjected, wincing as Harry attempted to bite her hand away.
"Nomph!" Harry exclaimed, muffled through Hermione's hand. "Oifve goght to kifph Sevrus yephterdah!" ((Translation: No! I got to kiss Severus yesterday!))
"Come again? It sounded like you just said — "Ron started, and was slapped in the back of the head by Hermione.
"Yes! Ron says good luck today too!" she proclaimed loudly, looking around the hall to make sure no one was listening.
"No I didn't — " Ron attempted to say, but Hermione glared at him and stomped on his foot. "Ow! Damn, you sure have gotten violent, 'Mione," he muttered through clenched teeth.
Harry grinned as Hermione released his face. "Yes, she has. Just last week I told her that her hair was especially poofy, and she pushed me into a bookshelf." He beamed as Hermione and Ron stared at him.
"That was, I, — " Hermione rambled, trying to find an excuse. She was spared the work when Harry poked his head into the Great Hall and spotted his prey for the day.
"Sevvie!" he yelped, and headed for the Potions master in a lively gallop.
"Harry!" Hermione called out, shocked. Hissing at him, she tackled Harry halfway through the hall. "What on earth are you doing?!"
"Saying hi to Sevvie," Harry whimpered as Hermione held him against the floor. "And will you get off me? I can see down your shirt."
Hermione gasped and blushed, straightening upward. Harry started cracking up.
"HAHA! Why do you care? I don't like you," he grinned.
Hermione raised an eyebrow and glared.
"You know. Like-like." He paused. "Wow. Did you know that was a perfect 'Snape glare'?"
She made a disgusted face. "Ew. Remind me to stop doing that."
"Stop doing that."
"Okay, knew that wouldn't work.......Anyway, Harry, um, let's just go eat some breakfast like good, normal humans, alright? We can, uh, talk with Professor Snape later." She put emphasis on the word 'professor'.
"Okie-dokie." Harry leapt up and skipped over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Ron and Ginny. "Good morning!"
"Um, good morning to you too, Harry," Ginny answered, staring in shock at the boy. "Are you, feeling all right?"
"Never better? Why do you ask?" Harry replied, taking the container of jam and dumping all of its contents onto a slice of bread, then proceeded to shove it all into his mouth.
"......No reason."
Harry had just begun to gnaw on his fourth slice of jam with toast when Slytherin Draco Malfoy walked past the table, and decided to stop and chat.
"Hey, Potter."
"Hm?" Harry looked up, saw Draco, and shoved the pot of jam into his face. "Jam?"
"No, thank you," Draco replied. "I'm aller — Wait a minute, that's not what I wanted to talk about. How'd it go with Severus after a I left?" He smirked and cocked his head to the side.
"Let's see......after you left, Hermione came in, and then she left......and then Sevvie kissed me on the cheek, then threw me bodily out of his office. I stayed at the door for a bit, but he then threatened to disembowel me and feed my carcass to Mrs. Norris if I didn't go away and let him sleep. So I did."
Draco stared. "Uh-huh......." He started to laugh. "Oh God, I don't know who got the worse deal, Severus or you." He slapped Harry on the back. "Good luck at the Quidditch match later. You're going to need it when we wipe you across the field." He stifled another laugh and walked over to his own table.
Ron, who had only heard that last line, shook his head with a sigh. "Will he ever give up, the little ferret?"
"I dunno," said Harry, who was already eating his food with great gusto again.
"Um, Harry? Are you sure you should be eating all that jam? It might make you too hyper to concentrate on the game," Hermione chided him, taking the jam jar from Harry.
Harry immediately burst into tears. "IT'S MY JAM, HERMIONE!!!!! GIVE IT BACK, YOU GREEDY BITCH!!!"
As the whole Great Hall turned around to see what all the fuss was, Hermione quickly shoved the jam back into Harry's hands, who's tears quickly receded.
"Thank you."
The students quickly went back to their own breakfasts, since outbreaks like these were quiet common from the Gryffindor table.
"I'm bored. Ron, play tic-tac-toe with me!" Harry whined, tugging on Ron's sleeve.
"Shouldn't you eat something other than toast?" Ron suggested. "I mean, you've got that game today."
"Nope. I'm full." Harry smiled, then quickly frowned and, slamming a piece of parchment onto the table, shouted, "TIC-TAC-TOE!"
Fearful of causing another room wide disturbance, Ron took that quill that Harry was holding and sketched out a board. After half a minute..........
"OW! Harry, you didn't have to slap me!" Ron yelped, as Harry scribbled out the tic-tac-toe board furiously.
"Who said you could win?!? HM???!?!" Harry glared.
"Sorry! I didn't know you were so.......into the game," Ron squeaked. Hermione shook her head, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Harry," she said. "Shouldn't you be heading down to the Quidditch pitch? Calmly?"
"Hm...........okay!" Harry exclaimed, and jumped up, knocking over his goblet. Ignoring that, he skipped down the hall and out of the room.
"Um, is Harry on any funny medications?" Ginny asked cautiously, as if Harry could still hear her.
"No, I don't think it's that................." Hermione replied.
"Drugs?"
"No."
"Alcohol?"
"No."
"Caffeine addiction?"
"Maybe............"
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Harry's way of thinking scares me......... He reminds me of hyper-active Kin, don't you think, Shoe? I'd love Harry much more if he was like this in the book.
I must admit, it's not as good as the first one. But what do you think? Not much Harry/Sev interaction in this chap. I'll have to fix that in the next chapter. I've decided to do this in chapter increments, or whatever. So, never phear! This is not the end! I will update! As soon as I write the next chapter!
And yes. Harry was eating 'jam with toast'. Not 'toast with jam'. The amount of jam greatly overwhelmed the amount of toast. Lol