I know this will seem like a crack fic, but it isn't it's just really weird, I didn't think Mephy would ever be able to retain his insanity.
Mephiles sat, a blank look on his face, head resting upon the table, ears drooping out of sheer boredom. As drool seeped out of his non-existent mouth he began to ponder upon why he was so crystaly. He was tugging on a quill to test its flexibility when, one of his sharp, pale blue spines snapped. The no-mouthed hedgehog began to scream and expected blood. "WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DO?"
He pressed his palm against his "wound" only to realize that none was present. He stared at his clawed hand in wonder, and attempted to return his hand to the previous position only to realize that his spine had regrown. He looked over in the general area in which he had flung the crystalized spine to ensure that he had not imagined the sequence of events he had just experienced. On the floor sat a crystaline quill that proved he had just snapped off a crystal prize probably worth over one-hundred dollars or more a half pound. "I'm gonna be rich!" he shouted out of sheer joy for his discovery.
"Who's going to be rich?" Rouge strode in, Shadow at her side.
"Uh, well, um, uh, no ones' going to be rich, well, who would ever say that I mean whoever would say that must have this big plan to do something important." Mephiles babbled on as he scrambled to hide the excitment on his face so as not to excite the others, as happy as Rouge would be to know that he was made of such precious material.
"Is something going on?" Shadow asked, worrying Mephiles with a very suspicious tone.
"On? On? Nothing's 'going on'." The crystal hedgehog nervously chuckled as sweat began to trickle down his sleek, black face.
Rouge stepped back, then returned Shadow's suspicious voice "I think Shad's up to something."
"No, it's okay, you guys return to whatever you were doing, I'm sure it was important." Mephiles once again attempted to compose himself, it apparently worked because Shadow and Rouge turned around and walked back into the room from which they came.
"That was close." a soft sigh escaped his blank muzzle. He was once again submerged in the idea of the crystal spines that lined his back breaking off and leaving no injury. He reached for the quill that replaced that which he had broken off and snapped another from his head. He flinched and began to yell again but stopped when he realized what had not just happened.
"If this doesn't hurt me at all", his eyes began to glow with ideas, "I could... I could... I could sell these one e-bay!!" He began to laugh in a more sinister way than he had ever thought he could possibly produce. He quickly grabbed the laptop that sat next to him on the table and started it up, while he sat in wait for the slow apple (if that is even possible), he broke 20 more crystaline quills off the back of his head. Once the computer booted up, he opened up a web browser and brought up e-bay, he searched for the price of crystal for jewelry and multiplied the weight and cost to determine how much money he could make by selling his crystal shards.
"I'm gonna be rich, rich I tell ya, rich!"
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Mephiles awoke to find Rouge and Shadow staring down at him. "I think he's waking up!" the white bat excitedly proclaimed.
"What happened?" Mephiles sat, clueless, in a hospital bed. Mephiles reached for his head, only to find a wet bandage wrapped around where a quill should have been.
"You broke off one of your quills and you screamed, it turns out your quills are part of your head... or something like that." Shadow summed up the situation.
"You mean; I didn't sell my quills on the internet, and become the richest rich guy to ever be rich?" Mephiles made sure he heard them right.
"Uh, no?" Shadow was about to ask what brought up the idea when Mephiles answered the question on his own.
"But... it was all so real, I was rich, it happened, it did. Didn't it?"
Both hedgehog and bat began to question Mephiles' sanity, when they saw Mephiles attempting to break off another quill.
"I know it happened, it did... I just know it did." Mephiles tugged at another spine, flinching in pain at each pull. "See, it was real" The crystal covered hedgehog failed to realize that the previous sequence of events were all a dream. He had gone unconsious after breaking off the first spine, which had yet to grow back as in his fantasy.
"NURSE! NURSE HE"S TRYING TO DO IT AGAIN!" Rouge ran to the door and screamed for fear of what may happen if he broke off another spine.
"See it happened, it did, I'll be fine.. hehe I'll be rich." Mephiles laughed with a disturbing amount of insanity.
"HURRY, HE'LL HURT HIMSELF!" The nurses rushed in, stuck Mephiles with a tranquilizer, and tied him to the bed.
Well, what did you think... I might even consider a chapter 2 although I was intending for this to be a one-shot.