This is a talk-show fic co-authored by Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan! We are aware that there are a lot of these going around, but none quite like this. Flaming will most certainly NOT be tolerated, but we do like CC!

So here is the first renovated chapter! We don't own Harry Potter, Twilight, or Star Wars. Or Mickey Mouse.

The lights of the studio dim as the spotlights on the stage brighten to highlight a tall, dark-haired man walking to the front of the stage. He picks up the microphone, smiles weakly, and says,

"Hello there, everyone! Welcome to the show! I'm Harry Potter, and I'll be your host. I have better things to do, but Katie and Renesmee sort of made me, so…"

A voice from behind him cuts him off.

"Ahem!"

Harry sighs.

"Well, anyways, please welcome Renesmee Culleswan and Katie Ladmoore!"

The crowd cheers as Renesmee and Katie walk onto the stage, smiling and waving cheerfully. They sit down on the plushy couches.

"Thank you!" Renesmee says brightly. "I'm glad to see you all today! We're so excited for our first episode ever!"

"Harry, tell our lovely audience how the show works," Katie instructs.

"Every other episode, Katie and Renesmee will interview a Star Wars character," explains Harry. "The episodes in between will be used to interview Twilight characters. Now, to-"

"Ahem!"

Harry sighs and rolls his eyes.

"What now, Katie?"

"That didn't make sense at all," Katie says tersely, pursing her lips.

"What? Of course it did!"

"No. It didn't."

Harry huffs.

"Fine. I'll re-explain it. Gosh, all of her interrupting sounds like Umbridge…"

"Hey! Watch it there, Mister!"

Harry groans.

"Okay. This episode we're interviewing a Star Wars character. The next one, we'll interview a Twilight character. The pattern goes on until we get bored. Got it?"

A random audience member, Bob, pipes up, "No."

"Too bad," Harry dismisses. "Now we're going to bring out our first guest."

"And who would this guest be, Katie?" Renesmee asks, in a very talk show host-like voice.

"I don't know! I thought I told you to invite our guest!" replies Katie.

"No you didn't!"

Katie groans.

"Oh, great, now we don't have a guest for the show!"

The producer, backstage, whispers, "I took care of it, girls!"

Renesmee breathes a sigh of relief.

"Good. Thanks, Ron!"

"You got it!" Ron the producer says. He whispers the name of the guest to Harry.

"Okay…" says Harry. "Please welcome… Senator Padmé Amidala!"

The audience applauds, but Katie, who has been drinking her bottled water, does a spit-take.

"Wait, WHAT?"

Padmé walks onto the stage and sits down in the guest's seat.

"Hi, you two!" she says. "Thanks for having me on your show today!"

"You're welcome," Renesmee replies. "Thanks for coming yourself. Now Katie—Katie? K… Katie? Katie, say hi to the nice guest who agreed to come on our show."

"Hi," Katie grumbles gruffly.

"Er, I'll ask the first question. So, Senator Amidala…"

"Please, call me Padmé," Padmé interrupts, smiling.

"Padmé," acknowledges Renesmee, "What… is your favorite color?"

Padmé looks confused by Renesmee's basic question.

"Um… light blue, I guess?"

"Ooh, pretty! Katie, ask her a question."

Katie says nothing.

"Katie!" Renesmee shouts, her eyebrows furring angrily for a moment.

Katie's pout slides into a sly smile.

"So how's it going with Anakin?" she inquires.

Padmé blushes slightly.

"Er, well, he's definitely very supported of my politics! General Skywalker is a great friend. A great friend, really!"

"Oh. Yes. Sure. Definitely."

"I've always wondered this," Renesmee picks up. "Who does your hair?"

Padmé beams

"I do, actually! When I was Queen of Naboo, I learned how to do all of the hairstyles you've ever seen me in!"

"Well, you sure do change it quite often," Katie points out. "Why is that, exactly?"

"I start out with one, and then I get bored with it. I don't like being bored. It's not fun. So I change my hair. It's very therapeutic, boredom-busting, and time-consuming!"

"Very interesting! Are you a Republican or a Democrat?" Renesmee asks.

Padmé is confused.

"Huh?"

Katie sighs.

"Renesmee, in her galaxy, they don't have Republicans or Democrats. I think our country should be the same; personally, I think doing it their way eliminates bias and stuff."

"Smart! You'd make a good politician!" Padmé tells Katie.

Katie props her feet up on the ottoman in front of her.

"Nah, I'm more of a Jedi kind of girl."

There is a long silence.

"Oh yeah. I guess it's my turn to ask a question," continues Katie. "So… you and Anakin are, uh, good friends. What have you been doing lately?"

"A lot of things!" replies Padmé brightly.

"Such as?" Renesmee prompts.

"Discussing things."

"What things?" Katie prompts. She pauses. "Oh, my gosh, I just quoted Anakin!"

"I don't remember Anakin saying anything like that…"

"He's going to say it in the future!" Katie's tone turns more serious. "Now stop averting the question, please."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, we've been discussing… the war, politics, what it's like being a Jedi, what it's like being a Senator, things like that."

"Sounds nice," comments Renesmee.

"It is. We can go for hours talking about those things."

Renesmee has caught Katie's drift and asks, "Just talking?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. Okay then… Katie, do you have another question?"

"No," Katie says hostilely. She checks her watch. "Hey, we're all out of time!"

"Thanks for being on the show today, Padmé!"

"You're welcome! It's been great being here," Padmé says politely.

"Then thanks for watching, folks, and we'll-" Harry begins, but Renesmee cuts him off.

"Folks? Who are you, Mickey Mouse?"

Harry scowls.

"No. Would you like me to rephrase that?"

"Well, duh."

Harry smiles falsely.

"Thanks for watching, and we'll see you again on the next episode! Bye!"

As Katie and Renesmee wave goodbye to the studio audience, the screen fades to black.

Renesmee will write the next chapter, since Twilight is her favorite fandom. And how did you like the chapter in present tense? Katie wants to know how you all liked it, and if she needs to write only in past tense. Please review!