Vanity
In which Legolas has a rather bad hair day
Disclaimer: Legolas doesn't belong to me (unfortunately), and neither does his hair.
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Legolas Thranduillion looked over himself in the mirror in his room in Minas Tirith. Every thing was perfect from his head to his toes. His boots were neat, his clothes were smooth, his skin was an ever lovely shade of pink, and his hair was… flawed?
The ever perfect elf noticed with no small amount of alarm that one of his hairs was sticking up at an odd angle. But 500 years of perfection are not lost easily, and Legolas knew just what to do.
First, he smoothened it down, and then he retied his hair.
"Ah, there! That's a relief." Legolas said, breathing deeply.
He checked himself over again in the mirror and was preparing to go down to breakfast with Aragorn when…
-Sproing-
His hair stuck our again.
closing his eyes in frustration, Legolas licked his finger and flattened down his hair a couple times. If someone were secretly observing this, they might have hear something along the lines of:
-sproing-
"AAAGH!!!"
-sproing-
"AAARGH!!!"
-sproing-
-WHAM-
"…"
-…-
-sproing-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!"
Grinding his teeth, Legolas wondered whether he should bother going to breakfast at all.
-I'm not giving up, this hair will either meet its match, or meet its maker. - he thought, and then putting on and air of determination, he braced himself for battle.
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"I wonder where Legolas is." Arwen concernedly glanced around as if looking for the absent breakfast member.
"I'll go look for him." Aragorn rose and headed out of the room. "It's not like him to be late, but for all we know, he could be fixing his hair or something." He chuckled while walking out of the room.
-Back in Legolas's room-
"AAAH!!!"
Someone was busy fixing his hair.
"I've tried EVERYTHING!!!" Legolas wailed pitifully.
-knock knock- came a small sound at the door.
-Who's there? Can't they see I'm in distress?- The elf wondered.
-knock knock-
-I'm trying to mourn here!-
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK- It came very loudly and impatiently this time.
Legolas rose angrily, whoever was disturbing his self pity was going to have to be exterminated.
He yanked the door open.
The person outside shoved the door open.
There was a large crashed as Aragorn fell heavily upon Legolas who then got then got the largest concussion he'd ever had. (A common symptom when someone has his or her head smashed into another head and the floor at the same time.)
"Legolas! Are you alright?"
"…"
"LEGOLAS! SPEAK TO ME!!!"
"-moan-"
"Oh Lord, what have I done?! SAY SOMETHING!!!"
"ow…"
"LEGOLAAAAASSS!!!"
"Ara…"
"DON'T DIE LEGOLAS!!!"
"Aragorn…"
"LEGO-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF PEACE ARAGORN, SHUT UP SO I CAN STOP THIS POUNDING IN MY HEAD!!!!"
Legolas sat up and grabbed his friend by the front of his shirt and was about to throw him off when he saw a golden hair float down past his eyes.
There was a pause.
Then he calmly pushed Aragorn off himself, stood up, walked to the mirror, and calmly, gracefully, hyperventilated.
"ARAGORN! What have you done?! You made me lose my precious, perfect, beautiful strand of hair! Do you know how long I spent this morning trying to get that hair to stay down? I lost THREE hairs during the dreadful War of the Ring, I'll go bald at this rate!"
Legolas bashed his head against the mirror a couple times until he paused to look at his reflection, and noticed something.
The hair was finally gone!
His head once again looked perfect.
"It's …It's gone!" His eyes were beginning to tear up, "The hair is gone Aragorn, the quest is over!"
"Um…" Came a confused response.
"Thank you Aragorn! I'm so glad you're with me! Here, here at the end of all things." And grabbing the confused human king by his hands, Legolas twirled Aragorn around a couple times before merrily skipping down to breakfast, leaving a rather bewildered human behind.
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"Arwen! Good Morning!" Legolas beamed cheerfully, then he dug into his plate of food.
"Legolas, it is indeed a fine morning, but, what happened to you?!"
"What?" Legolas was confused.
Then he looked down. Alas, if only he hadn't spent so much time on his hair…for his hair was now perfect, but the rest of his body was a different story.
There was a large red bump on his forehead, his clothes were wrinkled, dirty, and torn in places, his boots were loose and wrinkly, and his hair was perfect.
He sighed. "Why do I even bother…"
-Epilogue-
Legolas Thranduillion checked himself over again before going to dinner. After that morning's act, he didn't want to shame himself again.
After making sure he was perfect, Legolas began to leave, when
-Sproing-
Fin.
Written by FC. Wow, this is longer than I thought… If you liked it, please review, if you didn't like it, please review!