Phineas and Ferb's Awesome Day
by malkshake
It was a beautiful sunny day and Phineas and Ferb were outside under their tree smoking weed and generally chilling. Just then, Candace came running out. "Someone come quick!" she shouted "Jeremy just crashed his car!" Phineas and Ferb quickly went to go see the carnage. Jeremy had crashed his car into a ten foot brick wall which was randomly built in the middle of the road outside of their house. He had been propelled throught the windshield and cracked his skull open on the brick wall. Candace was crying like a bitch but Phineas and Ferb high fived. "Thank you for building that wall, Ferb" said Phineas "now we can finally have our way with Candace, instead of fucking that dumb cunt Isabella". Isabella happened to be there and overheard. She started crying, and then ran into her house, where a gunshot was heard. Nobody noticed. And so began the best day of Phineas and Ferb's life.
Phineas, Ferb and Candace went into the house only to see their parents going at it. Linda was wearing a bright red cat suit and riding on Lawrence, who was wearing a black leather saddle, tit tassles, crotchless panties, and knee-high heeled boots. Linda was whipping him and he was screaming with delight. "What the fuck are you doing?! Don't you care that my boyfriend just died?! I fucking hate all of you!" Candace screamed, and ran upstairs to her room. Just then Stacy and Jenny came in. "Where the fuck is Candace?" Stacy asked. "In her room" said Phineas. Stacy and Jenny both smiled wickedly and ran up stairs to Candace's room. Soon loud moaning and grunting could be heard downstairs. "Well she's obviously busy now. We'll have sex with her later. Come on Ferb, let's go see what the Fireside Bitches are up to".
All little lesbian girls wanted to get into the Fireside Girls. The activities included: Making out with Isabella, learning how to give great oral sex, Getting fucked by Isabella, how to roll a joint, and others. When phineas and ferb arrived, Gretchen and Milly were making out. Holly, Katie, Adyson, and Ginger were watching. "Hi girls" said Phineas "What's up?" "Fuck off Phineas" they said "can't you see we're busy". "Oh ok" said Phineas "We'll go then." "Before you go, have you seen Isabella?" Ginger asked "She was supposed to give us a lesson on how to make dildos from random objects around your house later. She hasn't shown up yet" "No we haven't seen that bitch" said phineas. "lets go ferb" and so they walked away to find something else to do.
On their way to Baljeet's house, they saw their platypuss Perry giving it fast and hard to Pinky, who was squealing with pleasure. Ferb was very aroused by this and videotaped it for later. Then Pinky gave Perry a blowjob and Perry smacked Pinky's ass with his tail. Then they both collapsed next to each other sweaty and exhausted. Finally phineas and ferb got to Baljeet's house. They didn't knock when they walked into Baljeet's bedroom and caught him reading gay porn and measuring his penis. "Hmm five inches" said Baljeet and wrote it down on a chart he had with him. "That's 1/2 inch longer than last time! But if I divide by....oh hi" he said, noticing his friends watching him. Just then, Buford pushed past Phineas and Ferb. Buford was wearing a thong and eye makeup. "Hey big boy" Baljeet said seductively. "Hi. Do you want to be...oh. What the fuck are these two whores doing here?!" Buford said gesturing at Phineas and Ferb. "We can't just let anyone join in, Baljeet. Especially after what happened last time" Buford reminded him. "Oh yeah. Sorry guys, you'll have to leave" Baljeet said to Phineas and Ferb. "Ok" they said, and left to go back home.
When they got back home they knew something was wrong. First off Linda and Lawrence were both dead. Someone had shot their heads off and had used tampons shoved in every orifice. "What the fuck happened here" shouted Ferb. "Hey *hic* motherfuckers" slurred Candace. She, Jenny, and Stacy were all drunk and covered in blood. "What the fuck!?" shouted Phineas. "I'm finally going to have my revenge on you little dumbfucks for killing Jeremy" Candace said. "How did you know?" Phineas asked in confusion. "This" she said, and showed some pictures of Phineas and Ferb building the brick wall, and another picture of Phineas sleeping, and another of him naked. "Where the fuck did you get these?" Phineas asked in confusion. "Well we went over to that bitch Isabella's house to see if she wanted to have a fuck fest. She was dead, but we found all these pictures under her bed. Now prepare to die, you dumb whores." She whipped out a rifle and aimed it at them. Ferb wasted no time. Immediately he whipped out his cell phone and played the video of Perry and Pinky fucking. Candace, Jenny, and Stacy had orgasms so huge they had heart attacks and died. Then Phineas and Ferb had sex with the dead bodies of the three girls but unfortunately got a really bad case of crabs from Jenny, and ended up killing themselves because they were too embarassed to get medication. And that was Phineas and Ferb's awesome day.
The end.